Council Flat Complaints - It's not what you say, it's how you say it

[Str8 Jacket]

These are genuine clips from District Council complaint letters

* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.

* He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
take it anymore.

* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
knob off.

* And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
fence.

* I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

* Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

* I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.

* Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.

* I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at
6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

* The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.

* I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

* Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife.

* I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction.

[placidfemme]

These are genuine clips from District Council complaint letters

* The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.

And parent of the year goes to....

lol

[MSTRS]

[B]


* Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.


LMAO at all of them but this one is head and shoulders above :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[ManDownUnder]

These are genuine clips from District Council complaint letters

* My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.



My fav - love it... sets the scene for the whole bloody thing I think. :rofl:

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

No.s 16-22 are particularly hilarious!!!

It's not what you say its the way that you say it............
Council Complaints. (Council housing in the UK is assisted or low-rent
housing for the not-so-rich folks)
To help you to forget your everyday problems and read how others put
their thoughts into words......these are genuine clips from council complaint
letters.

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt
my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle, very badly, when
he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against
my fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife
tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning
at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which
is unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I
still have no satisfaction.
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC2

[Wasp]

:rofl: awesome!

[Whynot]

These are genuine clips from British Council flat tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their flats!!!



1) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3) It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6) And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8) My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

12) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15) Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color & not fit to drink.

16) I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

17) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

18) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

19) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

20) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.