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blackdog
18th December 2011, 16:20
Harley announces new engine for 2012 model year

Harley Davidson announced that in it will introduce the newest model of engine to their lineup, the DKH “Dickhead” Super Single. Where the engine differs is in design. It will be a massive, eighty eight cubic inch single cylinder air cooled motor supported on twin ball bearing mounts for maximum rigidity. The shape of the valve cover is instantly both easily recognizable and unforgettable. Of course, it will be shaft driven for the final drive.

“It’s definitely a work of art.” Miriam Baxter said, looking at the test model. “I get excited on so many levels just looking at it.”

When asked about the new changes in design philosophy, a spokesman at the Motor Company said “we wanted to give the customers something they could really relate to. We think that the new Dickhead really represents our traditional, core buyers and what they look for in a Harley Davidson product.”

When asked why the company has gone to a single cylinder model, we were told that vibration was far less than the older V-twin model even though the Dickhead still has all the power of the classic V-twin which it will eventually replace in the years to come. The sound of the new engine is somewhat different as well, being only a single cylinder, but the exhaust pipe is chrome plated and rather huge with one tester even referring to it as “veiny” in nature. Our test model was evidently a press beater, and the chrome pipe showed signs of blueing through constant flogging.

And what does the new Dickhead engine sound like?

“Where the classic sound of the old engine was similar to ‘potato-potato,’” Said a HD design team spokesman, “this new engine sounds more like ‘unf-unf’ and it only gets faster in tempo the more you get down on it.”

“There’s just something about this new engine.” One test rider commented. “I can’t really explain, but when I hop on this thing, I know it’s going to be a great ride.”

The new Dickhead will take its place among the ranks of other notable Harley engines such as the Knucklehead, the Panhead, and the Shovelhead. The spokesman added “We believe the Dickhead is really going to fill some holes in the market.”

Most of the current models will receive a new Dickhead engine as will a yet unnamed new model. Our inside sources say that the mystery model is probably going to be a Dickhead paired with an entry level Sportster, which really won’t be all that surprising.

At first, look for a slow trickle of Dickheads to start showing up at the dealerships as the company closes down its hundredth anniversary celebration and ramps up for full production of the new models. Corporate sources also tell us that soon after that, all of the dealerships should be chock full of Dickheads.

“It will be standing room only when all of the Dickheads hit the sales floor.” A spokesperson commented.

“The Harley Dickhead. It’s what we’re going to base our new corporate sales policy around. We’re totally committed to getting all the Dickheads we can into our dealerships.” The company spokesman said. “That’s where we’re really going to see a jump in profit, from sales made off of all of the Dickheads."

The Harley Davidson Dickhead. If you haven’t seen one yet, just stop by your local Harley Davidson dealership where you’ll find several on display.

frogfeaturesFZR
18th December 2011, 16:22
Mwaah, you'll get flamed !:facepalm:

Grubber
18th December 2011, 16:32
Wait for it.....
Someone is going to take this seriously..you know that aye?:niceone::niceone:

misterO
18th December 2011, 16:41
HA! I haven't read this one before! Plenty of fat guys out there riding FatBoys (er, that didn't quite sound right), so the new dickhead model should fit right in, so to speak. They could maybe raise the compression a bit if they allowed for the cylinder to rise through a gap in the seat- that would give it more grunt. I'll splash out and put a deposit on one.

BIG DOUG
18th December 2011, 17:12
Fuck off you dickhead.

Zamiam
18th December 2011, 17:13
I'll be into AMPS first thigh tomorrow to check this out. Sounds to good to be true. I'm sure the vibration from a big single like this will be much more satisfying that the high speed one from Japan's! :laugh:

Brayden
18th December 2011, 18:37
ahahaha gold :laugh:

Stylo
18th December 2011, 19:12
I've heard Briggs and Stratton have invested some big coin in this one ....

puddytat
18th December 2011, 20:48
No doubt it'll have the Dickhead belt buckle accessory as the must have bling to accompany it.....another knob to polish.:yes:

5150
19th December 2011, 08:46
Dare I even bring the colour of the powerband into this thread? :facepalm:

sinfull
19th December 2011, 09:31
What a cock

5150
19th December 2011, 13:03
Dare I even bring the colour of the powerband into this thread? :facepalm:

Ooops, forgot. Harleys already come with black power belt. :laugh:

slofox
19th December 2011, 14:48
:killingme:killingme:killingme:rofl::rofl::rofl:

_Shrek_
19th December 2011, 20:16
The Harley Davidson Dickhead. If you haven’t seen one yet, just stop by your local Harley Davidson dealership where you’ll find several.

:shifty: :innocent: :corn:

Hailwood
20th December 2011, 14:56
mate that's gold.......................and I used to own a Harley so I can laugh at it without any hassles whatsoever..............:laugh: :laugh::clap::killingme:2thumbsup

doc
20th December 2011, 15:13
Thats it I don't want to seen as a dickhead. I'm getting a Johnson

HARLEY DAVIDSON FACES STIFF COMPETITION FROM JOHNSON MARINE WHO
INTRODUCES A NEW LINE OF MOTORCYCLES

At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine,
makers of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational
equipment, unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style
motorcycles designed to compete head to head with industry leader
Harley-Davidson.

Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said, "We have studied
the market and determined that Harley, while highly successful,
has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle buyers". Long
added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product hits the target
dead center and promises to draw sales away from Harley-Davidson
in a way no other motorcycle has been able to accomplish".

The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson
Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has
only promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is
what Harley buyers are really after".

At the unveiling of the new line Monday, several current Harley
owners agreed. "When I bought my Harley, what I really needed was
a Big Johnson," said one Harley owner." But I see now that riding
a Harley is no replacement for having a Big Johnson."

Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of
Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle
related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big
Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If
they don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the
image of having one."

Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of
Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the
need to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I
can't imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire
a Harley having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this -
You either have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you
are not likely to have both." "Given the choice," said Long,
"I think most guys will opt for the Big Johnson."

Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A
survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential
motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their
partner spending $15,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when asked if
they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to get their
partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would be money
well spent.

One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying,
"There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of
those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's
something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."

Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being
established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell." Big
Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange
under the abbreviation PNSNV.

Maha
20th December 2011, 15:44
What sort of tool would ride a bike called a Dickhead or a Johnson?

ahhhh wait, I have just answered my own question..:shifty:

cheshirecat
20th December 2011, 16:24
mate that's gold.......................and I used to own a Harley so I can laugh at it without any hassles whatsoever..............:laugh: :laugh::clap::killingme:2thumbsup
Don't you mean tassles

sil3nt
20th December 2011, 16:28
Don't you mean tasslesFuck you. Beat me to it :drinknsin

cheshirecat
20th December 2011, 17:30
Fuck you. Beat me to it :drinknsin

If you ride a Honda you've got to be quick to exploit the cracks

Hailwood
20th December 2011, 18:57
Don't you mean tassles


Bwaahaaaaaa..another gold post....KB is on fire this week