Why I like to Ride bikes.

[James Deuce]

I have an angry undercurrent. I pretend to be a good boy most of the time. But sometimes....

1. We ran out of bread this morning. I went over the road to get bread and then I was off to work. I was in my bike gear. The Arsehat dairy owner immediately begins to lecture me about bikes being dangerous. I hold my hand up (patronising, eh?) and say politely, "If you have an opinion you would be well advised to keep it to your self." Arsehat looks a little taken aback and starts the lecture. I say, " I warned you. We will no longer be using your dairy. Your constant harrassment of my wife (he gives her shit about being so hugely pregnant) and your bigoted views on motorcycling have convinced me that I no longer wish to help feed you and your family."

He looks doubly stunned and says, "But bikes are..."

I cut him off with, " There is another dairy and a small supermarket 1km down the road. It is no hardship to use either instead of you. Excuse me while I put these loaves of bread back on your shelf."

I leave. I slam the sliding door so hard on the way out it wedges on an angle to the runners.

2. Madboy is right. I do ride like I am scared of death. But tonight...

I turned off at Korokoro to go the twisty way home. A neon-luminous, pearlescent, thundering boom-box with a dustbin exhaust attaches itself to a strap on my tailpack. "What would Madboy do", I think to myself.

Down one (oops wasn't planning on a first gear wheelie, but what the hey), and whistle through the sweepers up London road "naughtily" shall we say. Safer than being tailgated by what appears to be a pair of baseball caps.

Then there are a succession of hairpins, one of which doesn't dry in winter EVER. Wastegate bangs behind - blimey he's close again and wants a go. Front wheel slides, grips, slides - what would Madboy do - whack it open of course, front wheel grips and we leave the baseball caps behind through the next set of side to side flicks, tight enough that going quickly doesn't mean going to jail. Last big looooong right hand hairpin, nail it to make a point, BLOODY HELL loose grave... Snake, weave, sliiiiide, what would Madboy do - whack it open of course, weeeeee wee wee goes this little piggy all the way home.

Stop at driveway to collect junk mail from the letterbox, brrrrm, psshhhh, bang! Baseball caps pull up, "Farrrk, good one bro, chur!!", Westside gestures exhanged. Smile creeps up to join both corners of my mouth on top of my head, good thing the little buggers can't see my face.

All hypothetical of course officer. I did NOT threaten a dairy owner, vandalise his door, or race with evil boi racers. Not me. I'm scared of death me.

[White trash]

Bullshit. Madboy would'a fallen off.

[2_SL0]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, that was excellent to read. Put a smile on my face. I just need to find a ride for tomorrow and Ill be set to burn off a few gremlins of my own. :2thumbsup

[Hitcher]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

[justsomeguy]

Now this Madboy seems like :headbang: ......

Excellent write up Jim, try and learn something from Madboy.:Punk:

[inlinefour]

I REALLY want a CBR600RR or a ZXR636 now... :devil2:

[Spaz]

Brilliant!
Now to get a bike that can do the same.
Whimper...Sniff...Envious stare.
Chur bro

[GROOMER]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

Lets do it :yes:

[Ixion]

I now feel inclined to don motorcycling apparel and spend an evening intimidating Maungaraki dairy owners.

Oddly enough , though many people have raised the "Aren't they awfully dangerous" thing when I have introduced the subject of motorcycling into the conversation, I don't recall anyone ever volunteering such an opinion unsolicited.

But I find people tend to be rather reticent in general towards me, dunno why. So maybe it's just general.

I find the best response depends on whether they are friendly and genuinely concerned (explain that , no, it's not as dangerous as people mught think), or just plonkers ("Yes. It is . I've been killed 4 times already. Why do you want to know?" ). I guess if someone volunteered such an opinion unasked, I'd just tell them that their ignorance disqualified them from expressing any opinion.

[StoneChucker]

Thanks Jim, that was a great read. A perfect example of what happens when life pushes you, constantly, further, further and finally a little too far and you need to blow off a little steam :mad: Good on you :devil2:

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen" :rofl:

[Badcat]

:

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen" :rofl:

Harold and Kumar?
that movie was MUCh funnier than i expected.
gotta love it.
k

[James Deuce]

Thanks Jim, that was a great read. A perfect example of what happens when life pushes you, constantly, further, further and finally a little too far and you need to blow off a little steam :mad: Good on you :devil2:

I must ask: As you left the dairy, did you hear "Tank yu, kum agen" :rofl:
Bahahah!!!!

[Mooch]

Good one Jim ,
had someone here say that about motorcycling , my reply was "It's a dam sight safer than the public transport" to which they nodded and changed the subject.

[unhingedlizard]

Imagine if you will, in this PC times of ours, that cars didnt exist. You have had a flash of insparation on night (perhaps on the crapper?) and you take your idea to parliment. You have divised a transport system wereby normal, ordinary members of the public (big, small, clever or amazingly thick), with a minimum of basic training, shall drive a metal box weighing 1-3 tonnes and containing such mind disracting devices as a radio, CD/MP3 player, TV, DVD and Playstation towards each other at combined speeds of up to 200kph, seperated by only a thin line of coloured paint.


Becareful out there folks.

[TonyB]

Good read Jim! Just as well Madboy knew what to do, eh!
Can't remember how many times I've heard the 'temporary New Zealander' line. Funnily enough it often comes from middle aged overweight smokers who drink too much. So who's temporary again??

[crazylittleshit]

Sometimes you just need blow some steam.................... :sneaky2:

[FROSTY]

It has become clear to me James that you have anger issues.
My origonal perscription was a good dose of prozac so you could join the other massed mindless druggies in godzone.
I reconcidered and Im now sending you a script for a new biker pill called
getyerfuckinassontheracetrack. Taken once a month it is certain to leave that silly grin on yer dial for at least 3 weeks after being taken.

[Mooch]

It has become clear to me James that you have anger issues.
My origonal perscription was a good dose of prozac so you could join the other massed mindless druggies in godzone.
I reconcidered and Im now sending you a script for a new biker pill called
getyerfuckinassontheracetrack. Taken once a month it is certain to leave that silly grin on yer dial for at least 3 weeks after being taken.

No , don't let him on the track again ! , His pregnant wife wasn't too impressed when he did this 15 years ago ( Something about the cost of new Honda RC30 Fairings I believe) , leave him to hassle poor old dairy owners that live in fear and put the odd misguided boyracer into thinking that they need to spent a further $40k on making it faster !. :Punk:

[FROSTY]

No , don't let him on the track again ! , His pregnant wife wasn't too impressed when he did this 15 years ago ( Something about the cost of new Honda RC30 Fairings I believe) , leave him to hassle poor old dairy owners that live in fear and put the odd misguided boyracer into thinking that they need to spent a further $40k on making it faster !. :Punk:
Nope mooch I feel like im in that red pill/blue pill situation. Does Jim actually exist or is he a computer generated image?
Be good to see him on a track day

[MSTRS]

Poor dairy owner. Monstered by a 9ft tall Hells Angel. Never let a chance go by, eh??

[El Dopa]

Arsehat

What a great insult.

[myvice]

I usualy wait till they finish the "Bikes are dangorus", "You shouldnt drive like that". "Your attitude needs adjustment", "I dont think that was funny", "Your very mean", "Thats not legal", and many, many more more, ranting and raving.
And when they run out of breath I simply say "That would mean so much more, if your opinion ment anything to me"
I'm just being honest with them, as thay where with me, with little or no regard to there feelings.
As they have none for mine, or yours!
Why do others think thay need to save us from ourselvs?
If you have this need, become a medic or a fireman!

[Mooch]

Nope mooch I feel like im in that red pill/blue pill situation. Does Jim actually exist or is he a computer generated image?
Be good to see him on a track day

I think I'll take take your perscription , and book myself into UK superbike training school (I haven't riden in 3 months 6 days and 14 hours :cold: )
While Jimcan be animated at times he is certianly not computer generated. :rofl:

[Storm]

He does exist-him and his sexy red stead

[Biff]

Great read Jim. You've convinced me that you're two cakes short of a picnic. :yes:

[Wellyman]

Nice one Jim. Classic story

[Toast]

hahaha :rofl: Jim if you're not a writer, you should be. That was a great read and had an almost surreal quality to it. But then it would, 'cos it wasn't real, ofcourse :)

[F5 Dave]

Haha.

Well as we’re thinking of moving up that particular suburb (if we ever find a house) I’ll take note of the dairies.

What is gutting is the restaurant Red Chilli has closed. They were great, replaced by some Chinese place. “What type of bland food would you like fried in oil sir”

PS must get out for a ride sometime. Called you week or so back but ph engaged for ages.

[Wolf]

Imagine if you will, in this PC times of ours, that cars didnt exist. You have had a flash of insparation on night (perhaps on the crapper?) and you take your idea to parliment. You have divised a transport system wereby normal, ordinary members of the public (big, small, clever or amazingly thick), with a minimum of basic training, shall drive a metal box weighing 1-3 tonnes and containing such mind disracting devices as a radio, CD/MP3 player, TV, DVD and Playstation towards each other at combined speeds of up to 200kph, seperated by only a thin line of coloured paint.


Becareful out there folks.
I saw a doco years back where some guy was showing the world as if devised by some evil genius bent on wiping out mankind - played by the announcer: "Ah, the automobile, my finest invention. A weapon whereby the victim willingly straps himself in and pulls the trigger..."

It's like the old joke: Ask someone if they want to be locked in a confined space with a small hard projectile moving in excess of 400mph and they'll think you're out of your mind. Ask 'em if they want to play squash and they say "when and where?"

Same could be done with cars, bikes etc.

[unhingedlizard]

Haha.



What is gutting is the restaurant Red Chilli has closed. They were great, replaced by some Chinese place. “What type of bland food would you like fried in oil sir”


That is so bloody racist it isnt funny


When was the last time a chinese person called you sir?

[F5 Dave]

Sorry are you trying to be funny or condescending?

'Chinese cooking' as what we know it is limited to what we see in takeaways. And it is all pretty foul. I don't for a minute believe that is what is eaten in China. I was brought up on Kiwi traditional food, itself very much wanting.

Personally I prefer Indian food. Red Chilli was probably the best in the hutt. Despite it’s budget appearance from outside.

If you take any of the above as a racial slur then feel free to be outraged for no good reason.

[unhingedlizard]

er ok, was trying to be funny.

[F5 Dave]

Ahh, sorry.

Hold on here it comes.

URRRRR!

[Grunt]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Toast]

'Chinese cooking' as what we know it is limited to what we see in takeaways. And it is all pretty foul. I don't for a minute believe that is what is eaten in China. I was brought up on Kiwi traditional food, itself very much wanting.

'We,' I assume means those in Wellington, because it's possible to find some fairly authentic Chinese, Malaysian, Thai, etc. food here in Auckland, as you'd reasonably expect with the present cultural make-up of the city.

[F5 Dave]

Think we have more restaurants per capita & certainly more Malaysian restaurants than the rest of the country.

Quite like Malaysian & Thai food. My girl keep wanting to take me to Thailand as she reckons the food is subtly different to what we see here how it’s presented with a bunch of stuff to add to taste. & she’s recent ex aucklander.

[hondacmx450]

i liked the cap thing wee there heads in there or were the caps driving too

[Hitcher]

i liked the cap thing wee there heads in there or were the caps driving too
It's Maori language week...

[GROOMER]

It's Maori language week...

When's English language week?

[BNZ]

good post mate. Was a very good read

[Lou Girardin]

When's English language week?

Right after Mandarin week. IF they can find a speaker.

[madboy]

Jeez, I stay offline for a couple days and look what I get? A completely fabricated story based on your assumption that I woulda fed it to some little boi's at the slightest provocation!!

We all know it's complete shite that I woulda even considered doing anything like that. Mr Trash is right... I woulda fallen off :clap:

[Storm]

Jeez, I stay offline for a couple days and look what I get? A completely fabricated story based on your assumption that I woulda fed it to some little boi's at the slightest provocation!!

We all know it's complete shite that I woulda even considered doing anything like that. Mr Trash is right... I woulda fallen off :clap:

I like your honest approach :rofl: :Punk: