Rincewind
26th July 2005, 22:07
My boss sent me this (He's an Ant of course) and I just thought it was worth sharing.
THE CLASSIC VERSION OF THIS FABLE - (THE ONE THAT
MAKES SENSE TO US!)
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
vs.
THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with
cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty. The Green Party, Maori Party , the trade unions and the
coalition Against Povertyand the usuall bunch of professional rioters demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a Northland Marae with
breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." In response to
polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper
Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The
ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and
his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government. The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz
company. TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the
last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house
crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate
government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed to head a
commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is
soon dead of a drug overdose. The Auckland Herald blames it on obvious
failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from
social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of migrant
spiders, praised by the government for enriching New Zealands multicultural
diversity, who promptly terrorize the community
THE CLASSIC VERSION OF THIS FABLE - (THE ONE THAT
MAKES SENSE TO US!)
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
vs.
THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with
cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table
filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty. The Green Party, Maori Party , the trade unions and the
coalition Against Povertyand the usuall bunch of professional rioters demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a Northland Marae with
breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant has
gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." In response to
polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper
Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The
ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and
his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government. The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz
company. TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the
last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house
crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate
government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed to head a
commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is
soon dead of a drug overdose. The Auckland Herald blames it on obvious
failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from
social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of migrant
spiders, praised by the government for enriching New Zealands multicultural
diversity, who promptly terrorize the community