Veet Hair Removal Cream Reviews

[YellowDog]

An outstanding review:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R231U4ZG0YDNHD/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R231U4ZG0YDNHD

[slofox]

Ooooooo...damn!

[george formby]

:facepalm: Sad to say but I already know this. Fortunately I do not have a hairy knob per se so it was just the back wheels that were defoliated.

On the brightside, dunking the boys into a family tub of aloe vera fresh from the fridge provides some relief.:shutup: Remember to label it Guacamole for fun & japes.

[Stirts]

A hairy knob? *shudders*

"(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)"

:killingme
It says he also reviewed Rum and a Soldering Iron. As one commenter said ... "he's potentially going to have to solder his knob and bollocks back together"

I wee'd.

[slofox]

A hairy knob? *shudders*

"(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)"

:killingme
It says he also reviewed Rum and a Soldering Iron. As one commenter said ... "he's potentially going to have to solder his knob and bollocks back together"

I wee'd.

Worst experience I ever had in that particular region of the body was going for a slash after de-seeding a bunch of chillies. It didn't stay chilly for long...:blink:

[Usarka]

Worst experience I ever had in that particular region of the body was going for a slash after de-seeding a bunch of chillies. It didn't stay chilly for long...:blink:

Aye, and then the missus walks in while you're dipping your johnson into a glass of milk to cool it down.

[george formby]

Worst experience I ever had in that particular region of the body was going for a slash after de-seeding a bunch of chillies. It didn't stay chilly for long...:blink:

Ooooooohhhh! One of the first things I learned as an apprentice chef....... Couldn't even find a waitress to dip it in either.

[Stirts]

Aye, and then the missus walks in while you're dipping your johnson into a glass of milk to cool it down.

So that's how the term dick milk came about

[Paul in NZ]

Worst experience I ever had in that particular region of the body was going for a slash after de-seeding a bunch of chillies. It didn't stay chilly for long...:blink:

Don't wipe your forehead either - too damn close to the eyes....

[slofox]

Don't wipe your forehead either - too damn close to the eyes....

Forehead was fine. The knob was the bit on fire...spent 30 minutes standing under a cold shower...

[LBD]

Brilliant....bit like brushing past a hand rail freshly painted with Chlorinated rubber paint wearing nout but jocks...took a few hours for the agony to wear off.....paint stayed for a while

[tigertim20]

lmao!

I remember coming home drunk one night, had a shower, and brushed my teeth in the nick. the froth of the toothpaste dripped, and I tell ya, that shit fucking burns when it hits ya bell-end. Dipped my cock into a glass of milk, and left it on the bench.
next morning asked where the glass of milk went - glass was on the counter, empty.
flatmate admitted drinking it - I spared him the indignity of telling him where the milk had been in front of everyone

[JustNick]

This thread is full of win :woohoo:

[Madness]

I'm a creature of habit and years ago part of my Thursday routine was to enjoy a chicken pie from Rays Pies N Fries in Paraparaumu whilst reading The Dominion. One particular Thursday I dropped some chicken covered in the obligatory gelatinous gravy on my trou and it gave the appearance that I had just ejaculated. Luckily (or not) I had some CRC Brakleen onboard and remembered that this stuff is basically dry cleaning fluid so I proceeded to vigorously spray the affected area. It worked a treat but I tell you this - take the fucking pants off first :facepalm:

[CelticSam]

So funny, reminded me of this funny waxing story

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/humor-comedy/now-very-funny-waxing-story-read-43859.html

[Sable]

An outstanding review:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R231U4ZG0YDNHD/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R231U4ZG0YDNHD

I have to ask, why were you looking in the first place?

[007XX]

PMSL... Excellent!

See, now there is another reason why men should listen to us:

Any woman worth her salt has bitched at least once about how painful that little adventure is, and how lethal is it to attempt to do it yourself.

So boys, put the wax down and let us girls do it to you :devil2:

[YellowDog]

I have to ask, why were you looking in the first place?

Those 'Sacks Backs 'n' Cracks' guys ain't cheap :no:

Someone sent it to me......

[mashman]

bwaaaa aha ha ha ha haaaaaaa... I can do it without the pain... I'll pour some on when the wife returns home with her purse.

[JimO]

read the reviews..http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0

[george formby]

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-

[caspernz]

One word: Brazilian :wings:

[willytheekid]

:facepalm:...:laugh:

" she was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "
....that part made me laugh so hard the whole office is looking at me now :mellow:

Your a "special" guy mate...thoughts go out to your missus...the poor thing! :laugh:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8TJYl4uc3lQ/S00_14ZLrCI/AAAAAAAAB_k/2mzRvS-WJyY/s400/tred+i+shaved+my+balls+for+this.jpg

...I can't wait to read what you do for her anniversary lol

REP on the way :niceone:

[Haggis2]

Crack up..... excuse the pun :mellow:

[slofox]

If it's anything like getting chilli on the knob, I can but sympathise...:crybaby:

[caseye]

Hells Bells, um Balls. I reckon you ought to send this to that guy who does the HELLS PIZZA Adds. If he couldn't get an add outa this I'll be yer fairy godmother.
Oh man, I haven't laughed so much in ages.
On ya for sharing mate, eyes still watering here and I'm only reading about the pained expression on yer bell end regions as yer missus walks in.

[flyingcrocodile46]

I just read these on another site and have copied them here. Seriously funnnnny. I laughed so hard at the final one that it made me cry. :yes:

Hair goes

For Veet for Men Hair remover... Have a tissue ready.

This is part of page one of 50+...



This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)



3,211 of 3,265 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION, 17 April 2012
By
The Cantankerous Tiger (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A1LIC9BYZDGB5X/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A1LIC9BYZDGB5X/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.




1,800 of 1,833 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Increased Sports Performance Bonus, 24 April 2012
By
Tagnutt Mandeville (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/AEPIWRMVTGDKD/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/AEPIWRMVTGDKD/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished ******* pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat.

He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team.

5 Stars from me.




This is the link to the rest... http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=0 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0) - enjoy!

[flyingcrocodile46]

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome product, 9 Jun 2012
By
Tenaciter (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A3FJ8PFF8CQPTC/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A3FJ8PFF8CQPTC/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I live in the countryside and watching the lambs gambol in the fields I pondered that they would need shearing soon and from there turned my thoughts to doing a little thinning of my own undergrowth. On a trip into town I saw a tube of Veet and the product description seemed ideal for my purposes. I didn't read the instructions because I'm a man.

One night, when the wife and kids were in bed, I got out the tube and applied the gel liberally to my crotch. For the first few moments I felt nothing but then after about 5.9 seconds I had a strange sense of deja-vu. You see when I was a teenager one of my younger brothers mates shot me in the head with a bow and arrow. He didn't mean to but we beat him up for it anyway. While the arrow was stuck in my head I could feel some pain but the shock kept that down. It was the thought that I'm going to have to pull this baby out which is going to magnify the pain massively that stuck with me.

As the gel started to sizzle and wisps of smoke started rising I knew that the pain I was feeling now would be as nothing compared to what was coming. It wasn't. Trying to find the words to describe it is difficult but imagine, if you can, having your ******* industrially sandblasted from a distance of about a foot with broken glass mixed with acid and salt.

I ran outside into the cool night squealing like a stuck pig to hose down my crotch. I had no thoughts at this time of what the neighbours would think of this unholy banshee, but afterwards I heard in the nearby villages they had laughingly put it down to a family of foxes being caught in a thresher. At some point the water butt was drained and my screams went up a further few octaves into the realms beyond human hearing. Which was good for sparing my embarrassment with the neighbours, but was less good for the bats in my loft for whom the intensity of my scream proved terminal.

I wolfed down some pethidine and strong codeine tablets and was able to sleep for a few fitful hours. I dreamed there was a giant troll repeatedly trying to drop-kick my ******* to Poland, before awaking to witness the damage done. My eyes were running with the pain, my ******* looked like something that would be served as an hors d'oeuvre to Sauron, and my sense of smell had gone.

I later found out that the acrid fumes from my burning crotch were so pungent they cauterised my nostrils.

So overall 5 out of 5. It clearly does remove hair, and flesh, or at least that's what they say has happened when the dressings are changed.

I didn't expect to have to wear an adult nappy because of the ongoing genital weeping, and I am "off-games" for at least the rest of 2012 and possibly the whole of my adult life, but there you go.

Potential buyers might consider self-castration as a cheaper and less invasive alternative.




314 of 320 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Shiny sack saved my life, 8 May 2012
By
Nick R "njrobinson2003" (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A1HJIPGXG7BHRW/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A1HJIPGXG7BHRW/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Picture the scene: a badly sunburnt, blistered and shaved Boris Johnson carries two red Space Hoppers accross the surface of Mars. This is an accurrate description of the current state of my genital region 3 weeks after a liberal application of this product. Seriously, my once proud Biggles looks more like the lone equine survivor of a fire at a donkey sanctuary.

On the positive side i can report the following unexpected benefits:
- My pain threshold has almost trebled
- I can now pass urine in 3 positions: standing, sitting and curled in a ball weeping.
- using a shammy leather and some wax I was able to polish up my ballbag enough to act as a signal for passing ships, saving me from certain starvation one time when i was stuck on a desert island.

It is due only to point 3 that this product gets 5 stars.




604 of 620 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Spiced nuts, 3 May 2012
By
mikethebign (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A2KTKQRIC3QPHN/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2KTKQRIC3QPHN/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Sergeant slaughter and his two lovely daughters
Do get the occasional trim.
New bird on the stage, nearly half my age
My purchase a bit of a whim

The instruction book did not get a look
I thought I knew how to use Veet
Whipped out my tower, whilst stood in the shower
Spreading it liberally all over my meat

I flipped off the cap, lifted up the old chap
Pushing the limits i'm sure
I wanted to groom in the valley of doom
Now my starfish is bleeding and raw

I tried to keep calm washing off the napalm
Leaving me all of a fluster
You could boil a small lake or cook a big steak
With the heat from my genital cluster.

Less grass on the wicked, but all's still not cricket
It does add an inch or two
A full week past, how long will it last?
Still unable to sit, stand or poo.

You may well cry but tears will dry,
Leaving balls as smooth as jam jars,
My slong looks huge, still no sign of pubes
So i'm happy to award it 5 stars

476 of 491 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sweet Baby Jesus deliver me from this torment, 30 April 2012
By
Lee (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A2JW83PLV8FYWQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2JW83PLV8FYWQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Possessing as I do a genital cluster that bears an uncanny resemblance (and indeed aroma) to Chewbacca's armpit, I decided to purchase this product. Upon applying the creme to my tassel and conkers, I was taken aback by a sudden and disturbing gasping noise, followed by a sound that I can only describe as the horrific howlings from Satan's own Hell Hound, Cerberus. As I whirled around to view the source of the noise, I perchanced to glance in the bathroom mirror, and, seeing my own mouth stretched agape in a terrible rictus of agony, I deduced the sound was coming from me.

My eyes widening with mounting horror, I surveyed the damage occurring to my sausage and beans with no small sense of panic. My pubes were actually bubbling and fizzing, in much the same way they might if one of James Cameron's Aliens had just sprayed their acid blood upon them. There were no swear words strong enough to adequately describe the agony, and in my delirium I began making them up. I don't recall exactly what I screamed, but I'm fairly sure the entirely-new expletive "funting" was employed.

With as much haste as I could muster I hobbled into the shower and applied cooling water to the conflagration in my crotch, which only served to spread the napalm to my perineum. I am not a church-going man but as I felt the flaming horror trickle across that tender inch of no-man's land, I confess that I prayed aloud to Jesus and his host of angels that the advancing agony would not stray into my buttonhole. However, my prayers went unheeded, and as I felt the liquid inferno sizzle its way into my most private of eyes, I lost consciousness, but not before grabbing the shower curtain and collapsing, in a disturbing echo of that famous scene from Hitchcock's "Psycho". Although believe me, being hacked to death by Norman Bates in a dress would have been a walk in the park compared to the searing agony I endured that fateful day.



http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...owViewpoints=0 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0) __________________

[flyingcrocodile46]

4.0 out of 5 stars Why I am currently single, 12 May 2012
By
Simba (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A10SEA59ELOMTJ/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A10SEA59ELOMTJ/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
As a mid-20s relatively athletic male, but with very dark hair and surface coverage of this to rival a Wookie from Star Wars, I understand the supposed importance of baby smooth skin and properly trimmed hair on the dating scene. I have previously tried trimming, shaving and waxing various areas of my body to no real long term avail, and so was very intrigued when I heard about Veet hair removal creme and decided to try it at the first possibly opportunity.

Having bought this in a shop and not online, I did not have the opportunity to read other people's reviews of this product, and so upon glancing briefly at the instructions when I opened it assumed that the instruction not to apply to ones nether-regions was just being overly cautious. In fact this seemed to be almost a challenge, and being blessed with hair so long you could plait it 8 weeks after its cut fighting to escape my crack this seemed to be a fantastic idea, not to mention the added length I could gain round the front.

With this impeccable logic in place, the first thing I did was to ignore the warning and liberally coat my gentleman's fruit basket and crevice with the creme and wait for the desired effect. After 4 minutes however I realised, in part, the beginning implications of my mistake. It felt as though fire ants had taken up residence in the area and were now at war, and I had tears of agony rolling down my face. At 5 minutes it felt like I had painted my ******* in a mixture of meat juice and napalm and then dipped them lovingly into a ravenous piranha tank, and by 5 minutes 58 seconds I was positively deranged and on the verge of blacking out.

As an additional note to anybody who wants to use this crème, it should be strongly advised to only use it when next to the shower. You may find otherwise, like I did, that someone else, with impeccable timing, will decide to use the bathroom at this critical time and force you to take alternative drastic action.

In this particular case 13 seconds after the 6 minute mark I was sitting navel deep in a steamy, watery soup of foam, suds, smouldering flesh, and gravy, with my feet on the draining board and my then girlfriend screaming dementedly at me. Apparently charging wildly into the kitchen whilst bellowing at the top of your voice like a mountain gorilla with its toe caught in a mousetrap, and then cannonballing arse first into the sink whilst your girlfriend is doing the washing up is considered inappropriate behaviour, and can be quite disquieting for a poor girl. She did later however admit she was impressed with the polished red hue my rear iris was emitting as it flashed past her vision like a marine distress flare on the back of a speeding truck.

This experience however has taught me 3 sure things in life:
1. God and the universe has a sense of humour
2. Instructions should always be followed, and not regarded as a challenge
3. If you want your plums, tadger and canyon to be smoother than a greased billiard ball, but twice the size, luminous red and 5 times more sensitive use this crème without listening to point 2.

I am giving this product 4 out of 5 stars, as whilst it does do exactly what is says on the cover, (and more), I am docking it 1 star as the girlfriend and love-spuds I once knew and treasured have all but disappeared, and for the first 2 days after I could not sit down without screaming.



5.0 out of 5 stars Oh the shame...., 3 July 2012
By
A. Chappell (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/pdp/profile/A2MK841G552A2D/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp) (Denmark) - See all my reviews (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A2MK841G552A2D/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview)
(REAL NAME)


This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...http://www.thegsresources.com/_forum/images/smilies/smile.gif __________________

[FJRider]

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian, I decided to take the plunge and buy some Veet Hair Removal', as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the Missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom.

Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the back passage and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip, I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears, I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen. By this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge, in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub, I hadn't managed to give my rear end any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen Brussell Sprouts and tore it open, trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up my rear end and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen, which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.


Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen, the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, a** in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my nuts, pushing a sprout up my a** while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ".
Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream, and as I hadn't heard her come in, it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.


I can understand that having a partially thawed Brussell Sprout farted against your leg at 11pm at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...


So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)

[Madness]

Covered in page 2 I believe.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/148826-Veet-Hair-Removal-Cream-Reviews?highlight=veet

[The Singing Chef]

Haha oh God that brings back memories. Never again, I feel your pain man.

Edit: Ahh you pinched it from Amazon.

[Pedrostt500]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/veet-men-hair-removal-creme/dp/B000KKNQBK

Read the reviews at the Bottom of the page, may cause watering of the eyes.

[badlieutenant]

some hardcase reviews there :D

"Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.) "