When changing the oil

[FROSTY]

When changing the oil on your motorcycle certain measures need to be taken.
One needs to be sure one has sufficient oil to fill the sump. One must make sure one has all the correct tools including a big enough oil container.
otherwise one will spend 1.5hours cursing and swearing realising you need to go back to the bike shop for the correct oil/filter and a get a bigger cointainer ---and some frigging kitty litter to mop up the oil rapidly making an ecological hazard of epic proportions.
When one has oil out and new oil filter in the oil filter holder one must be certain that the oil filter O ring is indeed in its groove --Not half in so that when one tightens up the locating bolt it rapidly cuts the o ring in two
resulting in a spectacular spray of oil from the unsealed oil filter bowl join when one starts ones motorcycle up.
One must under no circumstances at this point throw ones toys out of the cot and suggest that ones motorcycle is destined for the scrap heap
FOR SALE--1989 XJ900 --SMALL OIL LEAK

[SuperDave]

Don't forget about the container you used to drain the old oil into. Make sure you remove it before you wheel the motorycle forward. :rofl:

I did that once and never again, I spend ages scrubbing my rear tyre that was covered in oil.

[Jantar]

When changing the oil on your motorcycle certain measures need to be taken.
One needs to be sure one has sufficient oil to fill the sump. One must make sure one has all the correct tools including a big enough oil container.
otherwise one will spend 1.5hours cursing and swearing realising you need to go back to the bike shop for the correct oil/filter and a get a bigger cointainer ---and some frigging kitty litter to mop up the oil rapidly making an ecological hazard of epic proportions.
When one has oil out and new oil filter in the oil filter holder one must be certain that the oil filter O ring is indeed in its groove --Not half in so that when one tightens up the locating bolt it rapidly cuts the o ring in two
resulting in a spectacular spray of oil from the unsealed oil filter bowl join when one starts ones motorcycle up.
One must under no circumstances at this point throw ones toys out of the cot and suggest that ones motorcycle is destined for the scrap heap
FOR SALE--1989 XJ900 --SMALL OIL LEAK

Of course, only a simpleton would start such an easy job without... Oh, I see. :whistle:

[Ixion]

Mate, y'need to put your name down for the Spanner Evening that's coming up on Thursday .

They'll show you how to do simple maintenance jobs. :whistle:

[oldfart]

And of course everyone always remembers to put the sump bolt back in before pouring in 4l of expensive clean oil & wondering what the running water sound is. :rofl:

[FROSTY]

Mate, y'need to put your name down for the Spanner Evening that's coming up on Thursday .

They'll show you how to do simple maintenance jobs. :whistle:
Youll keep sunshine youll keep

[Ixion]

And of course everyone always remembers to put the sump bolt back in before pouring in 4l of expensive clean oil & wondering what the running water sound is. :rofl:
Um , ah , eh , yeah , of course. I mean, uh , yeah, sure, no-one would forget to do that. And wonder why it was taking all that oil and still not showing on the dipstick . Y' can't prove a thing !

('Cept, oil being thickish (well, 30W-40 is anyway), it doesn't make any sound when it trickles out onto grass. Or so I've heard, anyway. Not that I'd know myself of course. Just something someone told me once. In the pub like)

[FROSTY]

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are :mad: :mad:

[Ixion]

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are :mad: :mad:

Never fear. We've lots of clever geeky people here.

We'll COMPUTERISE it.

You may think you have made a total fuck up. But wait till you see what a fuck up a COMPUTER can make of it !

[Jantar]

Ohh and once one has made a total fuck up of such a simple task ---One must NEVER then talk about it on an internet forum--thus convincing one and all what a total mechanical twat you really are :mad: :mad:

But maybe not as bad as doing a complete engine overhaul. and just as you are doing a final clean up prior to starting the engine for the first time, you find a brand new piston circlip in with some old washers. :motu:

[rogson]

A "friend of mine" was in the process of changing the oil when the phone rang.
Apparently, it was from an aquaintance of particular interest at the time.
He got back to the job after a while - but his mind was elsewhere. He checked where he had got to - yep the sump plug was in - started-up the engine and shit! where did all that mechanical noise come from!

[Motu]

This is one of the reasons I use Silkolene - it's biodegradable.

[Two Smoker]

Well ill be honest... and tell you how much of an idiot Bruce is.... who tried to loosen the sump plug by tightening it... thus stripping the sump... thus me walking to work or begging for a ride...

But then im an idiot for watching him and wondering why he was using so much force...

[TonyB]

Here was me thinking this would be another one of Frosty's helpful hint threads for newbies.... I guess it is in a way.... you were just demonstrating what NOT to do.... right? Not the best day's spannering eh?

Bit like the time 'a freind' was putting an oil pressure guage on a car. Just around the time he was doing up the oil line from the block to the filter the phone rang. Some time later he comes out, looks at the connection- all looks good. Hops in, starts it up :"brmmm splash splash splash" thinks, what is that noise? Walks around to front of car to see life blood of engine gushing out of affore mentioned connection..... A good couple of hours cleaning up. Wait for person on other end of the offending phone call to turn up so they can go an buy some oil. Earns the nickname "Exxon".... after the Exxon Valdese...

[thehollowmen]

Never fear. We've lots of clever geeky people here.

We'll COMPUTERISE it.

You may think you have made a total fuck up. But wait till you see what a fuck up a COMPUTER can make of it !

Yes computers will loose large amounts of bits if anything happens. (badoom tish)
ok that was uncalled for

[riffer]

Ah yes, all kinds of shit can go down when you're changing the oil.

I can still remember when I mistook 20ft lbs for 20Nm and reaaaaly badly torqued up the oil filter cover on the FZR.....

tighten ....

tighten ...

just one more.....


crack...

aaargh

Still, nothing you can't fix with Knead-it... cheers for the advice back then Frosty.

Just shows how easy it is to stuff up - even when you've done it hundreds of times. I'm sure some mechanics have som great stories :yes:

[Pixie]

And of course everyone always remembers to put the sump bolt back in before pouring in 4l of expensive clean oil & wondering what the running water sound is. :rofl:
I was told of someone who did an oil change on an Austin Tasman,which has a prodigeous oil capacity,Having failed to put the sump plug in,a large amount of oil soak into the lawn.

[FROSTY]

actually on a positive note--Well I gotta find a positive twist to every situation.
The XJ desperately needed an oil change and the oil that came out the second time round was actually still a dark brown color --so arguably I just ran a VERY expensive flushing oil through the engine--Yep that works
Onre diddn't stuff up It was deliberate --to show newbees how NOT to change the oil on a bike

[bane]

One must under no circumstances at this point throw ones toys out of the cot and suggest that ones motorcycle is destined for the scrap heap

Although having never been in this situation :whistle: someone say tui ad... I feel your pain Frosty, I feel your pain.

[JohnBoy]

...tried to loosen the sump plug by tightening it... thus stripping the sump... thus me walking to work or begging for a ride...


i have seen a simialr and equally painful event when a mate of mine cross threaded the holes when he changed the plugs... was an embrassing moment!

[Sparky Bills]

One should always replace the drain plug crusher washer at the same time too.
Or you may tighten the plug too much and strip the sump thread.

Not that ive ever done that before :whistle:

[scumdog]

You know when you have overtightened a Chev sump-plug when you tear a hole in said sump.

Never having owned a Chev I'm fairly safe from that :whistle:

And you havent lived until you tip a V8 engine on its side - and you have already taken out all the pushrods - and all you can hear is the noise of lifters (tappets) falling out of their bores - and you have NO idea which lifter came from which bore. :mad: :weird: :oi-grr:

For those not in the know, you can't just fit them to the nearest bore, get one wrong and there is a good chance you can kiss goodbye to you cam and lifters.

[Motu]

Just shows how easy it is to stuff up - even when you've done it hundreds of times. I'm sure some mechanics have som great stories :yes:
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Not as often as you'd think considering how many oil changes are done in a day - as an apprentice in the early 70s I'd churn out atleast 16 lubes a day,that's with cartridge oil filters,a dozen grease nipples,brake fluid and gearbox levels under the floor....to do them in an average of 20mins you had to have a system in place,and it was seldom you got something out of sync.I only remember the sound of oil splashing in the pit a couple of times.

The cartridge filters were a real mission (they are having a come back,Euro cars now have cartridge filters with no metal parts so they can be burnt) They had a square O ring you had to pick out,some BMCs were so tight they had a hole in the chassis to pass the through bolt down,and some had an adapter housing too.

I remember doing an engine reco on a Morris J4 van - pulled the engine out and stripped to a short block and sent away,meantime I did the cyl head and other stuff,a few days later I put it together and back into the van,started it up and had oil gush out the filter.This was one where an alloy adapter went into the block,and the filter fitted to the adapter - it was leaking from the adapter to block.Access in the van was hopless,I did everything I could,the boss was being really bossy and it just pumped oil on the floor.I finally twigged to what was wrong - the square O ring goes up into the block,but wasn't going deep enough even though the groove was clean - there was an old O ring in there,hard as steel and painted over by the reco shop,when I got that out,working upside down,all was sweet...and I was only 4 hrs over on the time for the job....

[vifferman]

Don't forget about the container you used to drain the old oil into.
Make sure you've taken the top plug out of it, so that the oil doesn't overflow once the funnel-shaped bit is full. :weird:

I've been very lucky (or organised?), as this is the only cockup I've had. However, I've still had lots of fun.
Most oil changes usually end up with oil all over the floor, or if not, all over my hands. (That used oil smell is hard to wash out of skin...) And more often than not, a sump plug to be retrieved from the hot oil...

Changing the Pajero's oil filter was always good for a laugh, and never not messy. To do it properly, the bash plate had to come off, else it ended up covered in oil. And the alternator was situated right under the filter. Good-oh...:whistle:

The Subaru Vortex had zero room in the space between engine and radiator, where the filter was conveniently located. And when the expensive POS chain filter wrench didn't grip, it was 'somewhat awkward' doing the "stab it in the side with a screwdriver" thing.

The first oil change on the FahrtSturm was fun too - the previous owner had overtightened the sump plug, and rounded off the head of it. I tried everything to get it out, and resorted in the end to drilling the centre and using a screw extractor. I tried carefully to unwind it, then when that failed, threw caution into the waste oil container. I leaned and leaned on the bar, when "Crack!!" Uh oh.... sounds like the EzyOut has bruk... :confused:
Luckily, it was just the demon holding onto the other end of the sump plug finally giving up the struggle. Phew!

And even when things go well, where the hell in D'Auckland do you take waste oil, apart from to "The Hazmobile"? :spudwhat: This is one of the main reasons I've given up doing most of the oil changes on our four vehicles (that, and I have had enough of grovelling around on a cold concrete floor...)
I may still do the VifFerraRi's oil changes though, as it requires removing vast acreages of plasticware, which ends up costing heaps for labour, and necessitates me re-removing and replacing them anyway, as there's all sorts of tricky (and expensive) fasteners to refit in the proper places, and removal of greasy fingerprints from bodywork / oil from zorst headers.