Biker botch jobs, whats your best one?

[tigertim20]

Kiwis are known for their ingenuity, but theres a fine line between kiwi No.8 wire she'll be right type ingenuity, and a lazy arse botch up.
what silly things have you done with bikes?

My best/worst two are

Bikes failed a wof on swingarm bearings because of play in them. pulled them out, wrapped insulation tape tightly around them, and hammered them back in. Bike passed its wof the next morning, and I could get to the rally I wanted to do.
Surprisingly, it actually worked ok for the 450km I travelled before the parts arrived and I could fix it properly!.

My other one was when I was even younger, and my dads mate tole me how to save money on brake pads for my DR.
So I took his advice, I took a car brake pad, and cut it in half with a hacksaw. then I measured up the holes for the pins and drilled the holes to mount them, then I used the hacksaw to cut down the thickness of the brake pad material so it would fit in the caliper.
This actually worked quite well.

So, what silly, stupid, dumb, clever botchups have you done?

Im betting them on here who have decades of riding experience have got some goodies?

[scracha]

Kiwis are known for their ingenuity, but theres a fine line between kiwi No.8 wire she'll be right type ingenuity, and a lazy arse botch up.

Really....I thought they were the same thing?

[xXGIBBOXx]

Hardcore the car to bike brakes is gold . This thread should be fun

[speights_bud]

Stuffed a sponge between the frame and the gear shift shaft to catch the oil leaking out and onto the rear wheel, worked well enough just had to keep changing the sponge, then got around to changing the seal.

Used a small stick instead of a bolt and some Insulation tape to hold a brake fluid-less rear brake caliper on a Dr400 just to do a days trail riding.

The old Ninja tanks used to leak through the tube that runs down the inside so i threaded some clear non fuel safe plastic hose down it so the water could still go down when it rained without filling up the tank & consequently the fuel leaking out when it got over 1/2 full. Worked for the 40,000k's i owned it. Also Filled exhaust holes with bog and painted black every time i needed a warrant for 3 years, which i guess is pretty common practice.

Rode from Waikanae to Newlands with one handle bar to skunks place coz the handle bar just sheared of mid corner one day, had to pretend it was still attached (clutch side) while riding next to a cop on the motorway...

[nathanwhite]

Mostly electrical related from me..

Soldered up some bling lighting to a circuit board and went on my merry way. Coupla months later I couldn't work out why they suddenly stopped working. Dad had one look and said, "see that discolouring on the copper tracks? means youv shorted it." Insulating tape went on pretty quick after that.

Wired up said LED's in series, cutting cables to length also. Got about 3/4 way through before realizing they were supposed to be in parallel.

Spent ~2 hours making and remaking connections for a relay that was being tripped by the tail light. For some reason only the relay was working and not the light even though it tested fine. Got fed up and called dad to get a nice "ya idiot, PARALLEL not series!"

Good ol' Dad.


I think the one that takes the cake though with me and bike 'lectrical systems was making up an auxilliary battery connector, hooking it up to the battery, measuring it out to proper length, then cutting the wire still connected to the battery :shit: while the owner was watching too......
She was ok though, got a bit of a laugh at my expense too...

[Spazman727]

Just a pretty minor one. Head light failed on my CB250, was gonna cost bout 30 bucks and a week or so shipping to get a new one (no idea why nobody had one) so I just put a bit of solder onto the contact and it was all good. Still is.

[Voltaire]

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613

[pete376403]

Had a low speed drop on a trailie, and the brake lever punched a hole through the clutch housing.

found a short piece of willow twig and hammered (ie a rock) it into the hole. Didn't leak at all and got me home. Filled the hole with araldite (took the stick out first) and painted it black. Job done.

[gatch]

In the process of removing parts off my bike, heavily under the influence of rum and hearty banter, I took a hand saw to the license plate holder. When aluminium started coming out I stopped and checked. I was starting to cut through the ignition module.. Cable tied it out of the way, resumed cutting and rum drinking.

[Headbanger]

Drove ten hours north for a three day dirt bike holiday, took months of planning.,

Unloaded the dirt bikes.

Rode south down the beach for an hour.


Decided to do some wanker shit, wheelies, big drifts, being a clown around other people.



Threw the chain, smashed a hole in the motor.


Used a piece of drift wood whittled down to bung the hole along with some gunk and melted plastic.


I had re-invented the total loss oil system.


Used every drop of oil the group had keeping her running for the three days.



No oil left for the ride back to where we left the wagon, No worries, rode her hard all the way.


locked solid about 200m from out trailer.


Damage was so extensive the bike was written off.


















Sorry dad, Just put it on the list.

[tigertim20]

hahaha! some doozies in here! c'mon lads, dont be afraid to share your stupidity!

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613
Not many commandos around - did you by chance, buy that commando of a middle aged chap in Blenheim by the name of Rex or something like that?
could be the guys I used to work with, a funny story about the history of that bike . . .

[bogan]

Also Filled exhaust holes with bog and painted black every time i needed a warrant for 3 years, which i guess is pretty common practice.

yeh, pretty standard that :whistle:

I had some hydralocking in one fork due to a damaged cartridge or some shit (never bothered to take it apart), draining the fork oil was an easy fix!

Dirtbike guard cracked 90% the way through, cordless drill and about 20 zip ties to stitch it up good as new :yes:

Shitter bike with no reg/rect, and no battery, tape an almost buggered automotive battery to the pillion seat, got about an hour between charges :D

Blew an engine in my KR1, just stuck a big starter motor and a few batteries in there instead :shifty:

[Headbanger]

Damage was so extensive the bike was written off.



Sorry dad, Just put it on the list.

Makes me laugh, I was 14, I'm now 37.


Me old boy still hasn't got over it.


I'm not allowed anywhere near his bikes.

[Headbanger]

I topped up and bled my front brakes between races.

Next race saw my front brakes lock up and I was catapulted over the bars, Yeah I was hurt, yeah it was in front of the crowd, Yeah I got straight back on the bike and immediately crashed again in front of everyone.



I won a trophy that weekend.



Everyone else must have sucked pretty bad.

[MIXONE]

Everyone has used vice grips to replace a broken gear lever eh?

[tigertim20]

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613


Everyone has used vice grips to replace a broken gear lever eh?

a kid who lived on my street to use tow of them to replace a steering wheel on a crapped out car he bought, the steering wheel spline has shagged itself.
It worked fine for 5 months or so, he said he was just careful to take them off and put them back on every day to make sure they were tight.
silly cunt should have been dead.

[Voltaire]

hahaha! some doozies in here! c'mon lads, dont be afraid to share your stupidity!

Not many commandos around - did you by chance, buy that commando of a middle aged chap in Blenheim by the name of Rex or something like that?
could be the guys I used to work with, a funny story about the history of that bike . . .


Les was his name, gave me a tour of his work....the RNZAF workshop. I think the bike was owned previously by an aircraft mechanic.....braided hoses everywhere......and obviously not an electrical type.
Funny sorty...:shit::eek:
Always wanted one and its a Combat one year only model ( one year only as they all shit themselves due to bearings, poor workmanship.....:violin:)

[puddytat]

Used a 4'' nail once to fashion a join for a chain to get me home.....which it did.

[unstuck]

Had an old mudbug and when out in the mountains once the throttle cable snapped, so got a bit of string and just used that for a cable. Had to hold the string in one hand,it was an art form keeping that bloody thing mobile for the rest of the weekend. Had a rear wheel bearing seize up on a Er I had, smashed the bearings out and just put the axle back through the hub and rode on.:Punk:

[Oakie]

I kept blowing fuses in my old CB125. After blowing another one I replaced the fuse with a nail (at least I think it was a nail ... it was 34 years ago). Problem solved! Although in hindsight it was just 'symptom solved'. Stoopid!

[actungbaby]

Everyone has used vice grips to replace a broken gear lever eh?

my freind did on his it i tryed drilling into my step thru 50cc honda

was just old dunger i brought and spine was gone put pin in from memory

Broke of and ended up riding to work stuck in 3 gear dam that was slow.

my cb 400n got written of by elderly chap in his car so had like week riding to

Work on the stepie i had waddle my legs to get enough omph to get bike moving

even scraped centre stand as well round the corners hehe

Thought was hot stuff lol

[unstuck]

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.:msn-wink:

[Oakie]

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.:msn-wink:

Oh yeah ... that's right. XL175 from memory (kick-starter)

[actungbaby]

Kiwis are known for their ingenuity, but theres a fine line between kiwi No.8 wire she'll be right type ingenuity, and a lazy arse botch up.
what silly things have you done with bikes?

Well my best seems to be on vfr 750 i brought i used a inner roll from tape
as spacer for front axle to keep wheel spining in right place

In wore down but rode for few hundred miles like that

i bolted on xr 200 footpeg to right hand side over the exsiting footpeg bracket

Thats still on there as orginal was sheared of well , wheel the pin holds peg
on been snaped in half just needs to be welded

faring is held toghter with tape tied with straps rad is held by strap and the left hose as , being cheap the top holding loops got damged , that was me

so damaged that i hope to get those reapired this week.

I did find my xr 200 headlight somone used a coke bottle lid metal i think
to fashion front hedlight holder pushed wire through felt that was bit , naff
even for my standreds

Seems common fix for honda trailbikes they weld gear lever on

I think bit primtive as tends to bake the seal on engine cover

I pawned my ps3 orginal machine last week and taper proof screw , where fits in top cover had no place to hold it, so stuck some my 2 yr play dough in there

and put rubber bung back in and worked a treat

With 3 my broken ps3 i brought from trademe , easy to do the cables to the blu ray drive going to mb get secured with plastic clip fairly easy to break.

previous owner forgot to tell me about that so thought worth a try
I cut thin strips plasic like in what things sealed in , and sliped them between cable and the clip holder then taped them down , fixed all 3 that way.

Worst thing i done is borrow chain breaker and rushed and munted the points by having them in wrong postion opps

[tigertim20]

Had an old mudbug and when out in the mountains once the throttle cable snapped, so got a bit of string and just used that for a cable. Had to hold the string in one hand,it was an art form keeping that bloody thing mobile for the rest of the weekend. Had a rear wheel bearing seize up on a Er I had, smashed the bearings out and just put the axle back through the hub and rode on.:Punk:
I truly beleive that mudbugs are invincible. I had one as my first bike when I was 12. Neither of my parents knew fuckall abotu bikes at the time, and I sure as hell didnt (other than knowing they were cool)
In the first 8 months, a single drop of oil never went into it.
several times Id be riding along and it would slow down with a BBBUUUUUURRRRRRRRrrrrrgggghhhhhhh noise and stop.
every time that happened i pushed it home but it always started the next time i went to ride it.

was quite a while before someone noticed and told me what was actually going on, Id thought it was running out of gas.

Thank fuck Ive learned a bit since then huh?

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.:msn-wink:

almost every dirt bike ive owned has had something welded on a shagged spline.

I was surprised my most recent project didnt to be honest!

[unstuck]

I truly beleive that mudbugs are invincible. I had one as my first bike when I was 12. Neither of my parents knew fuckall abotu bikes at the time, and I sure as hell didnt (other than knowing they were cool)
In the first 8 months, a single drop of oil never went into it.
several times Id be riding along and it would slow down with a BBBUUUUUURRRRRRRRrrrrrgggghhhhhhh noise and stop.
every time that happened i pushed it home but it always started the next time i went to ride it.

was quite a while before someone noticed and told me what was actually going on, Id thought it was running out of gas.

Thank fuck Ive learned a bit since then huh?


almost every dirt bike ive owned has had something welded on a shagged spline.

I was surprised my most recent project didnt to be honest!

I could do a bit of welding on the stator before I send it up if you like.:bleh:

[skippa1]

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.:msn-wink:

haha!!!!busted....did it on the ol XS650

[Drew]

There's a chance I have you all beat here.

At the tender age of 15, I owned a couple GT500 Suzukis. And I was given a TS250 that Jimmy had holed a piston on. I theorised in my innocent stupidity that one slug from the titan, would be the same as a TS one. As it turns out, bore and stroke are the same, but the gudgeon height is different. So I took to a Titan piston with a hack saw to shorten the skirts.

Guess what...I WORKED. Thing was a fuckin mongrel to get started, but once the revs were up it went pretty well.

Alas, whilst hacking at the skirts I had cracked one of them, and when it came apart, it really came apart. So I took the motor out, turned it upside down to shake all the piston bits out, and repeated the process.

[MSTRS]

Heath Robinson had nothing on the Mair bros...

Done the welded Honda kicklever, the drilled gearshaft due to stripped spline. Found out that an 8" crescent can NOT exert 200 pounds torque (without using a bigger hammer)

[SMOKEU]

Just ask anyone who has seen my TS185 - the whole thing has been Maoried up!

[avgas]

Current bike (87 FZR4) has flush mount indicators cable tied onto the fairing frame (fairing obviously is non existent), both tires are filled with foam as the bead is cracked all the way around, mud guard under the seat is taped up as it pretty much doesn't exist (and the CDI is missing some plastic also).
1 bolt is missing from frame near swingarm mount (3/4 is ok though).
Grips are silicone on permanently
Attacked the exhaust mount with a hacksaw to get the new exhaust to fit. This is exhaust is shoved full of goldilocks to tone her down.
Battery leads have been pulled around as the battery only fits the wrong way.

Probably heaps more I can't remember - will tidy her all up one day. Or put mud tyres on her and go somewhere silly.

[ducatilover]

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.:msn-wink:

So you're the wanker who had my GN before me? :laugh:

I've re-wound some stators myself, one of which was during a beer consuming day, so I wound one or two poles backwards. Bogan fixed it :D

[unstuck]

So you're the wanker who had my GN before me? :laugh:

Wash your bloody mouth out.:finger: I have never owned a GN, although my ex girlfriend did have one, It is still probably in the Okura estuary.:devil2: Bitch.

[SMOKEU]

It is still probably in the Okura estuary.:devil2: Bitch.

How'd she manage that?!

[unstuck]

How'd she manage that?!

SHE didn't. Bitch.:devil2::Punk:

[awa355]

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613

If you open this link, then scroll down to post #9 there is quite a neat vid clip involving CV2's. , One giving birth.

[F5 Dave]

I was at a Lemming Rally many moons ago, it was held around Palicer in a nasty bay in the middle of winter. Two ways in, but even the Granny route had stone steps to negotiate down (before the stream crossing). Anyways some bloke brought in his K100 Beemer, which at the time was a dreadful German roadbike, but not that old & expensive compared to any bikes we owned let alone the shitters we brought to this rally. So he smacks a hole in the cases & its bleeding.

A plan is hatched & off he goes with mates & they return with some metal filler, spare oil & what have you. . . . To find someone had already repaired it, with Araldite I think. How cool is that? Self repairing bike! Resume drinking. Repair stayed for some years.

But it wasn't as brutal as the XS11 sidecar the boys brought one year which burnt the clutch. took plates out & drilled them for bolts to lock it up. No clutch action, but got them out.


I have nothing on those guys.

[Voltaire]

Just ask anyone who has seen my TS185 - the whole thing has been Maoried up!

Has it gone to the GC looking for some Aunties..Bro.?:msn-wink:

[SMOKEU]

Has it gone to the GC looking for some Aunties..Bro.?:msn-wink:

One can only assume so.

[tigertim20]

I could do a bit of welding on the stator before I send it up if you like.:bleh:
dear god please no!!!!! your parcel arrive today?

I was at a Lemming Rally many moons ago, it was held around Palicer in a nasty bay in the middle of winter. Two ways in, but even the Granny route had stone steps to negotiate down (before the stream crossing). Anyways some bloke brought in his K100 Beemer, which at the time was a dreadful German roadbike, but not that old & expensive compared to any bikes we owned let alone the shitters we brought to this rally. So he smacks a hole in the cases & its bleeding.

A plan is hatched & off he goes with mates & they return with some metal filler, spare oil & what have you. . . . To find someone had already repaired it, with Araldite I think. How cool is that? Self repairing bike! Resume drinking. Repair stayed for some years.

But it wasn't as brutal as the XS11 sidecar the boys brought one year which burnt the clutch. took plates out & drilled them for bolts to lock it up. No clutch action, but got them out.


I have nothing on those guys.
Bolts to lock up the clutch? awesome!:eek:

[unstuck]

dear god please no!!!!! your parcel arrive today?

I did Indeed, thank you. Your one should be there tomorrow.:msn-wink:

[riffer]

Hmmm...

Too cheap to buy clipons for my CB350. Turn the handlebars upside down. Worked a treat.
Same bike, the hole for the screw that held the points in place was stripped. No worries - a large PK screw jammed in there held it fine.

IT400 - the throttle cable bust. No worries - tie the end up in a loop and use your right index finger to control the throttle. Which would have been awesome if the bike didn't have such a grabby clutch. Took me a month until I got a new throttle cable. I've never fallen off a bike such much as during that month.

[Latte]

Nothi g compared to some of the stories here but i managed to break a clutch perch on my dirtbike out the back of nowhere. Snapped a piece of fencing wire off the post nearby and wrapped it around the handlebar and cable adjuster, kept the perch in roughly the right place and allowed full use. It was only meant to keep it from flapping about all over the place, but worked so well it stayed there for a few months.

[ducatilover]

SHE didn't. Bitch.:devil2::Punk:


Wash your bloody mouth out.:finger: I have never owned a GN, although my ex girlfriend did have one, It is still probably in the Okura estuary.:devil2: Bitch.

:niceone: You're the man:devil2:

[tigertim20]

I did Indeed, thank you. Your one should be there tomorrow.:msn-wink:
awesome, Hopefully it was to your taste and sufficient payment? i told the woman to go P.R. - being the only brand I know:Punk:

:niceone: You're the man:devil2:
C'mon doug, we all know what a hoare cunt you are, own up to your many botch ups buddy!

[ducatilover]

awesome, Hopefully it was to your taste and sufficient payment? i told the woman to go P.R. - being the only brand I know:Punk:

C'mon doug, we all know what a hoare cunt you are, own up to your many botch ups buddy!

Made my own spacer for the bottom steering bearing on the ZZR because the ZX6 one was bigger than the ZXR400 stem :niceone: Bot of 26mm tube with .5mm wall or some shit, was actually from an old fork leg I had floating around.
Not sure if I'll leave it in there, it's tight...but I've had too many slappers to risk it. Mmm slappers.

Had to put a rear foot peg on the front of the Spada when I got off it (pain meds FTW) over the right and kind of forgot 'bout gravity.

Rags/socks as air filters have happened...

Not really many dodgy work on my bikes :msn-wink:

[Kittyhawk]

Think my brain cell is a botch job.....I stripped a bike down, as it wasn't running, put it back together and had LOTS of parts left over, filled the ice cream container up so took it to my mechanic and said help!

There's nothing clevage wont fix :bleh:

[unstuck]

awesome, Hopefully it was to your taste and sufficient payment? i told the woman to go P.R. - being the only brand I know:Punk:

Sweet as, I am not a fussy chap thank god. Good luck with the project, the 3 fucked screws are the base plate ones, somebody has had a go at removing in the past and munted them. I didn't have any replacements handy, so sent them along for reference.:msn-wink:

[DMNTD]

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/44462-ZX10-Mobility-Edition?p=942970#post942970 <<<< Prolly my/Nodrog's best to date.
Have done far freakier with cars/4WD's though :eek:

[nodrog]

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/44462-ZX10-Mobility-Edition?p=942970#post942970 <<<< Prolly my/Nodrog's best to date.
Have done far freakier with cars/4WD's though :eek:

Fuckin Boonga!

[Drew]

Have done far freakier with cars/4WD's though :eek:
What scared me, was the shit you can bung together on a 4WD, and still have it pass certification!

[Kornholio]

Fuckin Boonga!

You can talk :bleh:

http://img264.imageshack.us/img264/9379/p1030249hn2.jpg

[DMNTD]

Fuckin Boonga!

Chur chur my wigger! Te bleh! :bleh:

[cheshirecat]

For old Brit bikes and Landrovers. Put some Fullers earth in the gearbox to help stop oil leaks, quieten gearbox rattle and clunks. About half a cupfull to start with. Worked once on an old landrover.