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View Full Version : My life fvcking sucks right now



tigertim20
13th June 2012, 20:01
All right here we go..

I've been with my g/f for a few years now, everything was great, super happy, and loving life. One day this guy named Joe comes out of f***ing nowhere into my life, he's a new coworker at my job. I soon find out he has no money, nor a place of residence, he moved here for the job and can no longer afford the hotel where he was staying. So, I decide to open up to him, and have him stay in my apartment for a few weeks. Bro is pretty cool, we play vidya games, drink beers, watch football, all that good stuff. This ends up going on for a few months.Then, I find out my g/f is pregnant..

By all tradition, I have to marry her now. So one night when Joe stayed late at the shop for some overtime, I decided to take the g/f out for nice dinner. I popped the question. She then proceeds to openly admit she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine, she says she isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated. So I go home in a f***ing rage, and throw out all Joe's s**t. I'm gonna f***ing kill Joe when he gets home. 1am, and still in a state of pure fury, I hear Joe pulling in. As soon as Joe opens the door, I f***ing punch him in his bastard face! His eye swells up like a boll of cotton! He swings at me, I dodge and sweep his leg, and he goes down. In a giant f***ing rage now, I go to my room and grab my Glock out of my drawer. Go back to take care of Joe, and see him jumping in his car! He hightails it out of there. I haven't seen or heard from him since. So, I was on the phone a month later with my brother, and he finally asks why I've been so depressed? I tell him that, if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married long time 'go. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

5150
14th June 2012, 07:29
And here i am wandering why this story is in the humour and joke section :facepalm:

nzspokes
14th June 2012, 08:03
I got it. ......

unstuck
14th June 2012, 08:28
Cool story bro :niceone::first:


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XDdlHmzIdn8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>:headbang::headbang:

White trash
14th June 2012, 08:32
Fucks sake, I've got that album somewhere. What the fuck was I thinking...... :facepalm:

onearmedbandit
14th June 2012, 10:31
Fucks sake, I've got that album somewhere. What the fuck was I thinking...... :facepalm:

Don't worry bro, we all make decisions we regret. I'm speaking from personal experience, although nothing as heavy as owning that album.

ducatilover
14th June 2012, 11:34
I knew it was bull when you didn't have the Glock in the back of your pants.

tigertim20
14th June 2012, 18:12
I knew it was bull when you didn't have the Glock in the back of your pants.

I carry a cannon in my pants buddy!:lol:

rustic101
14th June 2012, 19:05
I carry a cannon in my pants buddy!:lol:

Yeah but I heard it was 'just juice'...with no solid fire power behind it!!!:killingme

AllanB
14th June 2012, 19:13
I would have been better if you posted pictures of your girlfriend in her bikini.

tigertim20
14th June 2012, 19:14
Yeah but I heard it was 'just juice'...with no solid fire power behind it!!!:killingme

well I am a gentleman, I dont expect her to be able to swallow chunks . . .