Scraping the bottom of the barrel?

[Lou Girardin]

There was a report of an emergency meeting of senior Police officers to discuss the severe lack of recruits. It seems that they are now going to accept asthmatics and shortsighted applicants. One of the reasons given was that potential recruits do not want to do traffic enforcement. That's only natural, no-one wants to be derided as tax collectors. This would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic. Cops having to give up foot pursuit because they can't breathe, some cop waving a Glock around and he can't see because his contacts have moved on his eyes or his glasses are fogged up.
I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised really, they've been taking mental defectives for years and they've all attained senior rank.
They're probably desparate enough to even offer me a job.

[Motu]

They should remove the height restriction...surely this is discrimination? They could then double the numbers of officers,they'd all have a chip on their shoulder....but this is a desirable trait isn't it?

[sels1]

They should remove the height restriction...surely this is discrimination? They could then double the numbers of officers,they'd all have a chip on their shoulder....but this is a desirable trait isn't it?

Actually I think they have done this already. Certainly have for female recruits

[feistyredhead]

damn i am going to say this even though it may get me shot...how about testing the people on the unemployment benefit to see if they are good for it no criminal history etc...they say they want to work and it is a career..just a thought..ducks for cover! :Oi: :Police:

[enigma51]

damn i am going to say this even though it may get me shot...how about testing the people on the unemployment benefit to see if they are good for it no criminal history etc...they say they want to work and it is a career..just a thought..ducks for cover! :Oi: :Police:

You have a point and not just for police things but how about any job that has to do with community work. Police Fireman ambulance staff etc etc. :whistle:

[ajturbo]

hey ... you guys are winding me up right????


setting me up for a cop job???

hell i'm on the DPB...lol

but then again.. i think i would be a good cop... but when your bad i'll be a BAD cop:devil2: , i will have hand cuffs, a batton, AND a walky-talky...

i would volenteer to be a bikie cop
i would fill my quota in the first hr. then play .. chase the bike riders around the country till they stop, then take photo's of pretending to book them ....(just so i can justifie (sp?) the use of gas......) :motu:

[Wolf]

DAMN! I'm an asthmatic but I'm long-sighted. Miss out again!

[feistyredhead]

hey ... you guys are winding me up right????


setting me up for a cop job???

hell i'm on the DPB...lol

but then again.. i think i would be a good cop... but when your bad i'll be a BAD cop:devil2: , i will have hand cuffs, a batton, AND a walky-talky...

i would volenteer to be a bikie cop
i would fill my quota in the first hr. then play .. chase the bike riders around the country till they stop, then take photo's of pretending to book them ....(just so i can justifie (sp?) the use of gas......) :motu:

nooo not the DPB people god i use to one of then afew years ago i mean the unemployed you people have ajob..raising kids not to be known to the cops in the future! :whistle:

[Beemer]

Hell, next they'll be taking on women! They do already? Oh, I thought they were just gay men...

[Oscar]

They should remove the height restriction...surely this is discrimination? They could then double the numbers of officers,they'd all have a chip on their shoulder....but this is a desirable trait isn't it?

Shuddup, shortarse.... :rofl:

[crashe]

Ok then I will sign up to be a nice police officer...

I am 4 foot 12 inches tall. (yep thats classed as a short wee thing)
Asthmatic.
Totally, totally unfit.
Wear glasses for close up work.
Chronic bad back pain.

Yep I reckon I will fit in quite nicely.
They just need to lower the police m/bike for me....

No probs driving the car.... prefer the bike thou.

yep I can see myself as a police officer...
issueing out tickets to all those that don't indicate, or don't wave to me.

[Wolf]

I am 4 foot 12 inches tall. (yep thats classed as a short wee thing)
Asthmatic.
Totally, totally unfit.
Wear glasses for close up work.
Chronic bad back pain.

Crikey, you don't smoke and drink heavily too, by any chance?

[Oscar]

Crikey, you don't smoke and drink heavily too, by any chance?
Were you at the club last nite?

[crashe]

Crikey, you don't smoke and drink heavily too, by any chance?

Nope don't smoke and hardly ever drink...

cos I won't drink alcahol and ride my bike - Tis a big no no for me.

I did use to smoke, and I reckon the smoking stumped my height abit...lol.
(smoked from age 12 to 22) I actually stopped growing by age 13.

[Waylander]

damn i am going to say this even though it may get me shot...how about testing the people on the unemployment benefit to see if they are good for it no criminal history etc...they say they want to work and it is a career..just a thought..ducks for cover! :Oi: :Police:
Hmmm now there is a thought....:whistle:

[mikey]

There was a report of an emergency meeting of senior Police officers to discuss the severe lack of recruits. It seems that they are now going to accept asthmatics and shortsighted applicants. One of the reasons given was that potential recruits do not want to do traffic enforcement. That's only natural, no-one wants to be derided as tax collectors. This would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic. Cops having to give up foot pursuit because they can't breathe, some cop waving a Glock around and he can't see because his contacts have moved on his eyes or his glasses are fogged up.
I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised really, they've been taking mental defectives for years and they've all attained senior rank.
They're probably desparate enough to even offer me a job.

mental defects. fuck off. you dont no shit. shut your cake hole.

[Wolf]

Nope don't smoke and hardly ever drink...

Dang, you're running the risk of being Healthy... :devil2:

[madboy]

I actually did give thought to being a cop, I like the idea of many aspects of their job. Unfortunately the money wouldn't get me through the next 20yrs, and by that stage I'd be too old to enter...

But as a lifetime member of the short-sighted club, I'd quite happily do traffic enforcement full-time. The downside is that I think I'd fail every performance review when my bookings were reviewed and it was discovered that I'd issued 7 speeding tickets in 6 months, 493 tickets for careless use to either old and/or slow drivers, 1738 tickets for not indicating and 931 for running red lights. I might have impounded 1 car for unnecessary display of speed (Johnny launching Daddy's Rex out of the school yard at 3pm), another for launching Daddy's STI in a cloud of smoke right beside the marked patrol car (that's called displaying lack of awareness for surroundings, or in layman's terms - DUMBASS) and one bike cos the drunk guy told me his Harley could whip the sportsbike I had at home.

Regrettably the LTNZ would be called to review the funding structure for my job, and their analysis would probably conclude that my time would be more productively spent issuing tickets for minor speeding offences to achieve a higher revenue per hour ratio. We would then fall into the adverse performance review category, which would ultimately result in my continued failure to meet my objectives and eventually I would be performance managed out of the force.

Bugger... and the job has so much potential to really help people.

[mstriumph]

..mmmmmmmm - would i get weapons?? handcuffs??? :whistle:

[Wolf]

..mmmmmmmm - would i get weapons?? handcuffs??? :whistle:
You would where you are, AFAIK Aussie cops carry sidearms.

[Lou Girardin]

mental defects. fuck off. you dont no shit. shut your cake hole.

And a big hand to Mikey, who has just passed the initial appitude test to join the Police.
He'll be teamed with Spud for his first 30 years of training and then will be allowed a ticket book. 20 years later he'll be issued a pen.

[mstriumph]

......... hmmm wasn't a serious query .......... but ...do you think i'd REALLY get handcuffs?? :innocent:
You would where you are, AFAIK Aussie cops carry sidearms.

[Wonko]

I could do with some police handcuff's, the ones I currently have are to easy for people to get out of.

[mikey]

And a big hand to Mikey, who has just passed the initial appitude test to join the Police.
He'll be teamed with Spud for his first 30 years of training and then will be allowed a ticket book. 20 years later he'll be issued a pen.




be a dream come true sonny,
if only i could get into the force!

[WINJA]

GEEZ WHAT NEXT , BLACK AND ASIAN COPS?

[WINJA]

mental defects. fuck off. you dont no shit. shut your cake hole.
YEAH YOU TELL EM MIKEY , WE'D BE GREAT COPS

[SixPackBack]

I could do with some police handcuff's, the ones I currently have are to easy for people to get out of.

Handcuffs mmmmm.....met a chick who will forever more be known as hancuffs ......took me back to her her place and cuffed me to her bed.....made lots of noise but a lousy root......the quiet ones are best :yes:

[scumdog]

Top reasons for NOT being a cop (as told by random members of the public).

Not enough money. Too much danger. Too much negative publicity. Not enough money. Unpleasant jobs. High publicity of traffic enforcement. Not enough money. Too much negative publicity. Public sector pays better. Too dangerous.

Why do I do it?
I think I can help. I know I can make a difference. Thinking people KNOW I am needed. I am there as a 'safety-net'. I am impartial. I am honest. I will (if necessary) put my life on the line.
When it all "turns to shit" who else do you turn to???

[Gremlin]

When it all "turns to shit" who else do you turn to???
Zigactly, I bet most of those that are loudmouths and bag the cops are the first ones who will squeal when something happens and they need an offiser.

I gotta say, despite the negative publicity, who are the ones who go to a family home in the early hours to ask "Wanna come identify the pieces?"

For the effort put in, and pay received in turn, I have to admire those that still try to hold the force up.

Of course there are always the rotten apples, but that happens in every sector, the police are just more public.

[Dafe]

Totally agree with that - Pay is crap!

I applied for the Police force a few years back, I smoked everything except one pre-entry test, the English test. The recruiting officer told me to try again in two years, she also told me that because I was at their minimum age, I would struggle to make it now anyway. So I joined the Air Force. Anyway, these pricks ring me up two years later asking me if I'm ready to join now??? Fark off!!! I don't wait two years of my lifetime for nobody! Besides, I used to think they were paid well and now that I'd be taking a 20grand pay drop to do some totally shitty job, I've come to realise how crap it is.
I'm a people person and love doing my share to help those in need, hence why I've done Surf Lifesaving and Coast Guard most my life.

For me to consider enlisting in the Police, I would need to see three things changed,

1) Minimum graduate pay starting at $60,000 annual. With average at 80-90K.
2) A dedicated Police force for crime work with a solitary transportation enforcement component. i.e. If I want to fight crime, then no revenue collecting thank you!
3) Major alterations to the Police Force, as mentioned by Winston Peters, e.g. doubling of Police Numbers.

[Al]

For me to consider enlisting in the Police, I would need to see three things changed,

1) Minimum graduate pay starting at $60,000 annual. With average at 80-90K.
2) A dedicated Police force for crime work with a solitary transportation enforcement component. i.e. If I want to fight crime, then no revenue collecting thank you!
3) Major alterations to the Police Force, as mentioned by Winston Peters, e.g. doubling of Police Numbers.

This would make a very good Tui billboard!

Al

[spudchucka]

I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised really, they've been taking mental defectives for years and they've all attained senior rank.
They're probably desparate enough to even offer me a job.
Don't know about you Lou but a few of the our other local yockels might be able to bluff their way in now. Good luck, see you at the recruiting office. If you get in let me know so I can get a job as a recruit instructor. :whistle:

[Dafe]

This would make a very good Tui billboard!

Al
Actually, I reakon the Labour Govt would make the perfect Tui Board!

If elected we will:

1) Stop creating benefits (Now that it's a high paying desirable career to be a solo mum or other beneficarie.)
2) Reduce overseas immigration. (Continued focus on Less Europeans/skilled immigrants and more non skilled Somalians & more Asians)
3) Increase Police force numbers. (To enable more effective revenue collecting - No focus on 160-180kmph motorcades though).
4) Intorduce a $300,000,000 zero percent interest Student Loan scheme. (Which will actually cost rate payers $1,000,000,000 according to National Bank Economists)
5) No tax cuts yet, be patient......(Otherwise, How else can we support our non working refugee immigrants and our multitutde of Labour introduced benefits?)
6) Decreased China Economic/Alliance Allignment. (Bye bye USA and alliance countries, We don't need European quality anyway. Quantity - not Quality!)
7) More focus on trans tasman relations (Aunty Helen has done everything but show John Howard the :motu:)
8) More Defence force upgrading. (Lets buy something else we can't use! But only if it costs hundreds of millions!)

Just Vote Labour!

Yeah Right!

[spudchucka]

And a big hand to Mikey, who has just passed the initial appitude test to join the Police.
He'll be teamed with Spud for his first 30 years of training and then will be allowed a ticket book. 20 years later he'll be issued a pen.
He'd get an hourly shot of O/C spray if he was to ride along with me. :weird:

[spudchucka]

YEAH YOU TELL EM MIKEY , WE'D BE GREAT COPS
Cagney & Lacey?

Or

Headcase & BiPolar?

Would make a great TV reality show!

[Al]

Ren and Stimpy?

Al

[WINJA]

Cagney & Lacey?

Or

Headcase & BiPolar?

Would make a great TV reality show!
MORE LIKE STARSKY AND HUTCH YOU HOMO, WE'D KICK YOUR ARSE YOU BITCH

[Zed]

They're probably desparate enough to even offer me a job.Well they've obviously been deluded for many years cos they employed you once didn't they Lou! So would that be like reinstatement? :weird:

Would you have described yourself as being a good or bad cop Lou? How did you handle your discretion? :clap:

[mstriumph]

.... black, asian FEMALE cops?? :rofl:
GEEZ WHAT NEXT , BLACK AND ASIAN COPS?

[Lou Girardin]

Well they've obviously been deluded for many years cos they employed you once didn't they Lou! So would that be like reinstatement? :weird:

Would you have described yourself as being a good or bad cop Lou? How did you handle your discretion? :clap:

MOT Zed, not Police.

[Lou Girardin]

Don't know about you Lou but a few of the our other local yockels might be able to bluff their way in now. Good luck, see you at the recruiting office. If you get in let me know so I can get a job as a recruit instructor. :whistle:

Just between you and me, I considered applying a few years ago. The more I learned about the job from some cops I knew, the less I wanted to do it.
With the way things are now, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't.
There is no way in the world that I would book someone for 11 over the limit.

[inlinefour]

Or will it just add to the amount of ploddies with attitudes? :whistle:

[scumdog]

Just between you and me, I considered applying a few years ago. The more I learned about the job from some cops I knew, the less I wanted to do it.
With the way things are now, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't.
There is no way in the world that I would book someone for 11 over the limit.

I'll let you know the first time I do that Lou - there are enough guys travelling a bit faster than that to keep ME happy!! :yes:

[scumdog]

Or will it just add to the amount of ploddies with attitudes? :whistle:

Attitude? Got as much as I'll ever need to deal with you sonny!!!! :rofl: :whistle: