Stupid overheard motorbike related comments & sayings?

[McFatty1000]

Was just reading a forum thread over in the States about the stupid things people have overheard about motorbikes and was wondering what sort of misconceptions people here in NZ have had from others relating to their riding.

Things like, "having a full face helmet will break your neck if you crash so you should wear a skull cap one", or more commonly myself, "You ride a motorbike? Such and such I know rode a motorbike and they lost their arm" said like this happens/will happen to every rider...

Also, "Using the front brake will make you flip the bike right over so you should only use the rear one".. :facepalm:

Any good ones you've heard?

[BAD DAD]

"wearing high viz vests will reduce car versus motorcycle crashes"

[Haggis2]

"wearing high viz vests will reduce car versus motorcycle crashes"

:killingme

[ellipsis]

...cagers are all fuckwits and only motorcyclists obey the rules...

[Chooky]

Long time ago when me and me mates used to race our bikes we wore open helmets,but pudding basin helmets were still worn by a few of the "older" fellas.
Anyway a couple a guys turn up with new Bell full face hats.... They were warned by the stewards that you could suffocate in those things.

True story.....

[duckonin]

Long time ago when me and me mates used to race our bikes we wore open helmets,but pudding basin helmets were still worn by a few of the "older" fellas.
Anyway a couple a guys turn up with new Bell full face hats.... They were warned by the stewards that you could suffocate in those things.

True story.....

Gezzz, you are old, and you still fly aeroplanes..:msn-wink:

[Scuba_Steve]

"every accident a bikers involved in is the bikers fault" - KM

[jellywrestler]

Things like, "having a full face helmet will break your neck if you crash
Fact is there are a number of motorcycle race classes around the world where full faces are banned for this very reason

[ducatilover]

"Ducatilover can wheelie"

[SMOKEU]

"Engine power output is always directly proportional to engine size".

[FJRider]

"I ride better when I'm half-pissed"

[SMOKEU]

"Exceeding 104kmh in a 100kmh zone is likely to cause instant death".

[McFatty1000]

Fact is there are a number of motorcycle race classes around the world where full faces are banned for this very reason

Ah yeah, should have clarified - the comment was concerning slow speed crashes on the road. Racing is a fully different kettle of fish.

Best one I've seen overheard by someone else was a newbie rider talking about how his hayabusa now needed a turbo as his skills on the track had now eclipsed what the bike was capable of...

[baffa]

When my turbo kicks in I would rape your bike in a race.
Does it do good wheelies?

Had a chat to a dumbass customer who was explaining how much better desiel is than petrol, (which is true in some regards), who asked what I drove, then when I told him I rode a bike he started blabbing how that bikes have old technology so their fuel economy was crap.
I explained just how good my fuel economy and power to weight ratio was, and basically told him he knew nothing about what he was talking about. Funnily enough I didnt get the sale.

[Tigadee]

"Ducatilover can wheelie"

"Ducatilover, not a streetfighter."

[nosebleed]

"Motorcyclists Own the Options. Our money. Our priorities"

[slofox]

The usual...

"My brother in law had a motorbike. He's dead now!"

My reply...

"My brother in law never had a motorbike. He's dead now too!"

[Usarka]

Bike? I'll give you bike!

[awa355]

If I'd been riding that bike, I would have made it.

If I told you my time for that trip, Ya wouldn't believe me.

[george formby]

Wow! Look at that Harley, it must be really fast!

Not wanting to offend any one but I have heard this more than once regardless of model....

"Where's the kick start?"

[Akzle]

well. since no-one's said it

"motorbikes are dangerous"

[tigertim20]

"Engine power output is always directly proportional to engine size".
ahh, the old theres no replacement for displacement argument. (the replacement of course, is technology. . .)

The usual...

"My brother in law had a motorbike. He's dead now!"

My reply...

"My brother in law never had a motorbike. He's dead now too!"

haha, brilliant!.

[Fast Eddie]

"Engine power output is always directly proportional to engine size".

there's no substiture for cubic inches!

you're not going to get 1000 horsepower out of a 49cc motor.. (at the moment anyway hah)

it does work the other way though.. some how the Americans can manage to get a 7 litre v8 producing sub 300 horsepower (with relative ease)

[Fast Eddie]

ahh, the old theres no replacement for displacement argument. (the replacement of course, is technology. . .)


meh, use the same technology on both a 2 litre and a 6 litre unit and you will (hopefully) get more power out of the 6 litre unit..

there is no replacement for displacement :) technology helps make better use of engines/energy/power output and can help new small motors beat old ill designed big motors. but use same tech on both and you should be back to the old ways of bigger is better haha

[GSF]

One that almost had me laughing out loud happened a year or so ago.
My workplace was host to a classic motorbike auction run by Webb's. Among the lineup was Ginger Molloy's 1968 Bultaco TSS GP bike.

So anyway, two mouth-breathing teenagers wearing flat-brim caps started looking at it while I was sitting at my counter doing a PO. One of them has a peek behind the fairing at the tacho and announces "Bro, this bike is slow as shit. The speedo only goes up to 11, that's like 110 k's an hour. Told you it was gay."

[rastuscat]

I got hit this morning by a bloody car driver. It was his fault coz he didn't see me indicating my turn across his path.

Scene 1, Act 1
Popo says "Why did you turn across in front of the bike?"
Punter says "I didn't see him"

Scene 1, Act 2
Punter says "He was going really fast"
Popo says "How do you know that if you didn't see him"

As stupid as this interchange sounds, it happens a lot at crash scenes.

[ducatilover]

meh, use the same technology on both a 2 litre and a 6 litre unit and you will (hopefully) get more power out of the 6 litre unit..

there is no replacement for displacement :) technology helps make better use of engines/energy/power output and can help new small motors beat old ill designed big motors. but use same tech on both and you should be back to the old ways of bigger is better haha

Exactly, just look at the fastest wheeled vehicles in the world.

[Gremlin]

"I ride better when I'm half-pissed"
I've actually seen this pan out to be correct for one person on a ride... A glass or two of wine improved his riding... (and no, I wouldn't have believed it until I seen it... :eek:)

Usual one for me is wearing motorcycle gear, and asked, do you ride a motorbike?

[baffa]

I've actually seen this pan out to be correct for one person on a ride... A glass or two of wine improved his riding... (and no, I wouldn't have believed it until I seen it... :eek:)

Usual one for me is wearing motorcycle gear, and asked, do you ride a motorbike?

Lol. I always tell them no, I just like wearing the gear.

The mildly smarter ones who see you in gear ask what type of bike you ride, then give you a blank look when you respond unless it is a Harley or a ninja (I swear to the layman, no other bikes exist).

[Katman]

. . . . . .

[george formby]

Exactly, just look at the fastest wheeled vehicles in the world.

The little car that could (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/motoring/news/article.cfm?c_id=9&objectid=10832136)

The smartest thing about a 6ltr with that kind of tech would be the traction control.

[HenryDorsetCase]

These changes to the ACC scheme will result in a fairer, more balanced system, that is affordable to all.


Yeah, that sure worked.

At least Nuck smuth got his comeuppance (thank you Bronwyn Pullar)

[ducatilover]

The little car that could (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/motoring/news/article.cfm?c_id=9&objectid=10832136)

The smartest thing about a 6ltr with that kind of tech would be the traction control.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QnUyL2l2Rjw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
The big car that could :cool:

[Fast Eddie]

eco boost sucks,

eco this organic that. god help us all.

im gonna go watch some tractor pulling on espn. should see 3 jet motors strapped to something at full tit at least. no eco names in that game!

[Subike]

"you wont get me riding a bike with a fairing, cut ya fuck head off in an accident"

"" The only reasons chics love Harleys, is the bikes prepare them for a better organism than the rider can""

[scumdog]

"Exceeding 104kmh in a 100kmh zone is likely to cause instant death".

C'mon, it has to be something you really overheard...:rolleyes:

[scumdog]

Lol. I always tell them no, I just like wearing the gear.

The mildly smarter ones who see you in gear ask what type of bike you ride, then give you a blank look when you respond unless it is a Harley or a ninja (I swear to the layman, no other bikes exist).

They have heard of a Ninja??:confused:

[darkwolf]

They have heard of a Ninja??:confused:

They might have heard of them but I doubt they've ever heard one :msn-wink: see what I did there?

One I've heard commonly is "You don't need all that gear, skin's free and it grows back" and "denim is good for 100m of sliding".

[imdying]

They have heard of a Ninja??:confused:Too fucking right... everybody has a brother who has had a Ninja... The younger they are, the more likely Ninja is to be substituted with Busa. Love the Ninja one though.... means nothing except it's a Kwaka from the last 40 years... but it was always the fastest one :rolleyes:

[Oakie]

Usual one for me is wearing motorcycle gear, and asked, do you ride a motorbike?

Reminds me of a time working on the Post Office counter in Oamaru about 1980something when this policeman in full uniform including helmet walks up to the counter and announces. "Good morning. I'm a Policeman". I was SOOOO tempted to respond "Your secret is safe with me" but I restrained myself. Arthur Mahan I think was the guy's name. Turned out to be a pretty decent bloke in the end.

[ukusa]

"Loud pipes save lives" :killingme

[tigertim20]

meh, use the same technology on both a 2 litre and a 6 litre unit and you will (hopefully) get more power out of the 6 litre unit..

there is no replacement for displacement :) technology helps make better use of engines/energy/power output and can help new small motors beat old ill designed big motors. but use same tech on both and you should be back to the old ways of bigger is better haha

but that isnt the point. the saying (at least my interpretation) is that the only way to get power is to increase capacity. there are plenty of other ways to increase power without increasing engine size

[onearmedbandit]

Oh I don't countersteer at all.

Shafties won't wheelie.

When upon hearing I ride, 'temporary Kiwi huh?', I respond with 'yet to meet a permanent one, myself'.

My CBR/ZXR/FZR/GSXR250 hits an easy 230km/h

My GSXR/R1/CBR/ZX10 does 200mph out of the crate.

I know a guy who lost his left arm in a riding accident.

[Magnum Noel]

:killingme
"Motorcyclists Own the Options. Our money. Our priorities"

:clap::killingme

[Lozza2442]

"you wont get me riding a bike with a fairing, cut ya fuck head off in an accident"

"" The only reasons chics love Harleys, is the bikes prepare them for a better organism than the rider can""

Wondering if perhaps you meant to write "Orgasm" instead of "Organism"?

I understand if you don't know the difference for women. A lot of guys don't. loooooool

[actungbaby]

[QUOTE=onearmedbandit;1130395679]Oh I don't countersteer at all.

Shafties won't wheelie.

When upon hearing I ride, 'temporary Kiwi huh?', I respond with 'yet to meet a permanent one, myself'.

I was going answer with this how many times heard that chest nut of wisdom

aghhhh then u get that knowing look your way, like your slate short hehe mind u i am but thats besides the point.

my auntie told me some dude managed his privates i was thinking no way ....

[Hurrie]

Oh I don't countersteer at all.

Shafties won't wheelie.

When upon hearing I ride, 'temporary Kiwi huh?', I respond with 'yet to meet a permanent one, myself'.

I was going answer with this how many times heard that chest nut of wisdom

aghhhh then u get that knowing look your way, like your slate short hehe mind u i am but thats besides the point.

my nautie told me some dude managed his privates i was thinking no way ....

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g3/ocujer/jack_sparrow_wut_by_zackfair1219-d4117e5.jpg

[Berries]

my nautie told me some dude managed his privates i was thinking no way ....
Must have been in the army.

[Howie]

Also, "Using the front brake will make you flip the bike right over so you should only use the rear one".. :facepalm:

Any good ones you've heard?

Oh but it can

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xLKwRO6NGCc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Kornholio]

Shafties won't wheelie.



Ya coont, you beat me too it... That was all I had too :p

[Cheshire Cat]

They might have heard of them but I doubt they've ever heard one :msn-wink: see what I did there?

One I've heard commonly is "You don't need all that gear, skin's free and it grows back" and "denim is good for 100m of sliding".


what a tard :weird: How bout we drag that idiot down the road for 100m in their jeans.

[McFatty1000]

Oh but it can

Yeah, its the 'only use the rear' part which makes me cringe though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5G6FPcGXps&feature=related

at about ten seconds in, this is how I imagine all the people who think that the rear brake is the only brake look like when they stop.
Also, the rest are quite good too, watch the whole thing and shake your head

[Dave-]

I've heard enough BS on kiwibiker alone to fill a thread, one of the more memorable:

Someone on KB was once spouting about how the front wheel doesn't have torque/angular momentum cause it's not driven.

Someone one told me that TL1000's have different sized pistons, one is for low speed around town, and then it fires up the other one when it goes faster (I'm not sure if this person had a mechanical understanding of an IC engine)

Car related: Someone once tried telling me (and a bunch of folk on facebook) that car tyres work better when they stayed cold.

One guy here at uni told my mate that you don't need suspension sag on a car

[98tls]

Someone one told me that TL1000's have different sized pistons, one is for low speed around town, and then it fires up the other one when it goes faster (I'm not sure if this person had a mechanical understanding of an IC engine)


:laugh:Believe me as a long term owner of a TL ive heard worse,gave me a chuckle though.A few weeks ago i was having a beer at a pub in Naseby,bloke pulls up on a GSXR1000 (latest model) and we get talking,he gets to telling me he traded in a late model GSXR750 for the 1000 so i say "you must do plenty of track days" he replies "no,never".:facepalm:

[Gixxer peter]

Fella i worked with used to have a bike, he was telling someone that his quick reactions save him from a crash with a car that cut him off, he quickly hit the kill switch and that slowed the bike enough to avoid the car...

[McFatty1000]

Fella i worked with used to have a bike, he was telling someone that his quick reactions save him from a crash with a car that cut him off, he quickly hit the kill switch and that slowed the bike enough to avoid the car...


This guy is a genius - if it had been an impact, he could have rightly have told his insurance company that his vehicle wasn't even running so how could he be at fault...

[Phantom Limb]

A mate of mine comes out with some gems, he rides a new GSXR600, bought it because it "looked fast", also, on a ride he's slower through the bends than an old lady in a Hyundai Accent, heres a few:

-"I'm starting to think that I want a bigger bike, mine feels slow to me now"
-"I haven't revved it past 10 on the dial, it's a bit scary" :facepalm:
-"Finally got rid of my chicken strips" (rear tyre still has vent runners on all but the centre 4cm stripe)
-"The wind is too strong for the bike" :blink:
-"I'm getting my 'fast' thrills out of the way on this bike, then I'll get a propper one"

And, wait for it:

-"My next bike will be a FatBoy!" looks at me smiling expecting a smile + knowing nod, recieves naught but a blank stare. :yawn:

Theres another favourite of mine, from some mates who drive stripped out cars in the NZ Targa, road sprints and track time battles:
-"Motorcycles are far too dangerous"

Yes, that is from guys who think nothing of throwing a car down a shitty rural back road at twice the speed limit.

[ducatilover]

-"My next bike will be a FatBoy!" looks at me smiling expecting a smile + knowing nod, recieves naught but a blank stare. :yawn:
:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm: I have nothing to say

Theres another favourite of mine, from some mates who drive stripped out cars in the NZ Targa, road sprints and track time battles:
-"Motorcycles are far too dangerous"

Yes, that is from guys who think nothing of throwing a car down a shitty rural back road at twice the speed limit. I have a mate who does this "4 wheels are better than two rah de rah"
Meh, I'll do double the speed limit on a country road quite happily :innocent:

BTW, Targa cars all have cages, this means you can crash in to anything at any speed

[gijoe1313]

"100% of motorcycle riders will die or have an accident"

Wow. I had a mind to say in reply "So you going to live forever huh?" and "you never had an accident in your life, ahmmaazzzing!" :facepalm:

[sootie]

"you wont get me riding a bike with a fairing, cut ya fuck head off in an accident"

"" The only reasons chics love Harleys, is the bikes prepare them for a better organism than the rider can""

What would that be?? Oh, did you mean .... :innocent:

[Str8 Jacket]

" You can't get blown over/off the road by wind"

[ellipsis]

...an unaware sprotbiker saying to me in front of his mates when I was at the Little River shop...I'll give you a two minute head start and beat your Sportster to the Hilltop...it could have been embarrassing for him, I would have had time to roll a smoke waiting for him at the top and I was also going the other way...

[Swoop]

Scene 1, Act 1
Popo says "Why did you turn across in front of the bike?"
Punter says "I didn't see him"

As stupid as this interchange sounds, it happens a lot at crash scenes.
Odd that Chalky hasn't commented on this one yet.

Wondering if perhaps you meant to write "Orgasm" instead of "Organism"?

I understand if you don't know the difference for women. A lot of guys don't. loooooool
Women don't have orgasms. It's a well known KB fact.

[Lozza2442]

Women don't have orgasms. It's a well known KB fact.

Not with KB members maybe. :laugh::bleh:

[onearmedbandit]

BTW, Targa cars all have cages, this means you can crash in to anything at any speed

Tell that to Peter Brock.

[darkwolf]

Tell that to Peter Brock.

In fairness, he only said you could crash into anything... and though in bad taste, Brockie did. Just unfortunate that it ended up as it did.

[rastuscat]

Heard this one the other day, for real.

"I don't register my bike because I'm a beneficiary and I get my benefit even if I get get injured. What do I need ACC for?"

Had a healthy discussion about it, found it an interesting point of view.

[BIG RED PETE]

''Knobblies are dangerous on the road''

''you will be safe if you ride carefully''

''you have to change your chain and sprockets as a set''

''car drivers are stupid''

[tigertim20]

Odd that Chalky hasn't commented on this one yet.

Women don't have orgasms. It's a well known KB fact.

why bother giving them one when all they do is spit it out straight away?

[onearmedbandit]

why bother giving them one when all they do is spit it out straight away?

The good ones keep them.

[SMOKEU]

''Knobblies are dangerous on the road''



I was under the impression that they were, although I've never ridden with them on tar seal.

[onearmedbandit]

Only dangerous if you over ride their limit, same as any tyre then.

[haydes55]

I was under the impression that they were, although I've never ridden with them on tar seal.

My flatmate (Lets call him by his nickname "Gubby") rode his brothers new MX bike (250 KTM I think) up the road and back into the driveway, he game the throttle a little blip then pulled the front brakes (trying to scare his brother) front wheel locked up, new bike slides across the driveway. Good job Gubby.

I would presume dual purpose tyres are better (and could still be called knobblies).

[BIG RED PETE]

I was under the impression that they were, although I've never ridden with them on tar seal.

...you have answered your own question.....mind you there would be millions under this misapprehension, that's why I posted...

[BIG RED PETE]

My flatmate (Lets call him by his nickname "Gubby") rode his brothers new MX bike (250 KTM I think) up the road and back into the driveway, he game the throttle a little blip then pulled the front brakes (trying to scare his brother) front wheel locked up, new bike slides across the driveway. Good job Gubby.

I would presume dual purpose tyres are better (and could still be called knobblies).




Blame the rider....not the tyre


Also...it pays not to 'presume'...you will end up sounding like a fool in the wrong conversation...

[haydes55]

Blame the rider....not the tyre


Also...it pays not to 'presume'...you will end up sounding like a fool in the wrong conversation...

Hence the nickname Gubby haha.

I wouldn't think they are as safe as road tyres. Less rubber on the road and all, longer stopping distance. Not as safe=more dangerous?

I presume all the time, I presume every car driver will not see me.

[BIG RED PETE]

''motorbikes aren't dangerous''


When I asked the lead rider in our group why he was riding at 90Km/h on his sports bike he said

''how fast does your trail bike go ?''

Aw 'bout 160' I said...

I led after that cos he couldn't keep up.....and YES I was on MX tyres...

[onearmedbandit]

''motorbikes arent dangerous''

They're not. Left by themselves, they won't hurt anyone. But like guns, put them in the wrong hands and then you're going to see some tears. Or body tissue.

[BIG RED PETE]

I presume all the time, I presume every car driver will not see me.

Yup, me too:yes:

[BIG RED PETE]

They're not. Left by themselves, they won't hurt anyone. But like guns, put them in the wrong hands and then you're going to see some tears. Or body tissue.


...usually said when comparing to cars....


only the naive would disrespect a bike...... I know I have....OUCH !!!:laugh:

[theseekerfinds]

I have heard this so many times:

"I was trashing the bags off it and I think I broke the power band!!"

that one never fails to get a smile from me whenever I hear it being used to impress impressionable youth

[Scuba_Steve]

I have heard this so many times:

"I was trashing the bags off it and I think I broke the power band!!"

that one never fails to get a smile from me whenever I hear it being used to impress impressionable youth

you need to replace it with the black power band, that ones the fastest :whistle:

[ellipsis]

you need to replace it with the black power band, that ones the fastest :whistle:

...i disagree...but we have all been here before...

[unstuck]

Heard my mum and one of her friends talking about my bike and the saftey of riding one day, and mum was saying that I am a safe rider and dont take stupid risks. I left on one wheel about 10mins later, bullshit ma.:devil2::Punk::Punk:

[FJRider]

...i disagree...but we have all been here before...

Everybody knows the red one's are best. Dam near unbreakable ... and yes we have been there many times ...

[BMWST?]

My dad used to say...

..... there goes an accident going somewhere to happen.....

[lizardb0y]

"You only need to counter steer when you're going fast."

[FJRider]

I often get asked by a non-biker ... What do you do when it rains ??? How do you see where you are going ???

[lizardb0y]

I often get asked by a non-biker ... What do you do when it rains ???

Get wet.


How do you see where you are going ???

Open my eyes.

[300weatherby]

...an unaware sprotbiker saying to me in front of his mates when I was at the Little River shop...I'll give you a two minute head start and beat your Sportster to the Hilltop...it could have been embarrassing for him, I would have had time to roll a smoke waiting for him at the top and I was also going the other way...

What provoked him to come out with that gem?

A 996, a 916, a ZX10 and a Busa parked at Akaroa, mates riding together- a harleytard declared that none of them could pull the skin off a rice pudding compared to his bike- I did tell him the local fishing boat wanted it's winch back..........:nya:

Which of us was right?

[schrodingers cat]

Aw mate I'd love to get a bike but you know, (stupid laugh) the way I'd ride it I'd kill myself

[onearmedbandit]

Aw mate I'd love to get a bike but you know, (stupid laugh) the way I'd ride it I'd kill myself

Yup heard that one a few times.

[ellipsis]

What provoked him to come out with that gem?

...uninformed joe public, licking ice creams and milling about my sexy lookin' sporty like it was the only bike there, saying silly shit like, "bet that goes like the clappers", etc....might have made him a little sad or summat...

[Dave-]

Aw mate I'd love to get a bike but you know, (stupid laugh) the way I'd ride it I'd kill myself

my reply

"ha....pussy"

[Phantom Limb]

I was reading an old Classic Car mag today on the bog, I spotted a winner of a line and this is the best place to share it....................

When describing the power output of a 500+HP 460Cui Shelby cobra replica, the author of the article states:

"Now I know how those Harley Davidson riders feel with a mountain of torque from an engine that will 'fire' every lamp post if you want it to, it's probably the closest thing to a Harley on four wheels"

This passage reminds me why I stopped subscribing to that mag, now doesn't it just drip with misinformed 'non biker gearhead attempting to sound knowledgeable on all things mechanical' ?

Shit, if he thinks a Harley has go, I'd love to see what he thinks of a REAL bike. :msn-wink:

[GrayWolf]

Harley davidson's are the best bikes in the world..
\usually said by non riders, who believe the hype

[Virago]

Harley Davidsons are a heap of shit.

Usually said by spotty teenagers who have never rider one...

[onearmedbandit]

Ducati's are the fastest bikes. Heard a few non-bikers say that one. I then ask them, 'which one?'.

[FJRider]

The Red one's go faster ....

[Lozza2442]

"I don't need a rego"
"Or a wof for that matter!"

[scumdog]

Harley davidson's are the best bikes in the world..
\usually said by non riders, who believe the hype

But it's true!!:bleh:

[Berries]

Harley Davidsons are a heap of shit.

But it's true.

[ellipsis]

...the truth always has hooks...

[Virago]

But it's true.

How's the Clearasil working now? :bleh:

[scumdog]

Harley Davidsons are a heap of shit.

Usually said by spotty teenagers who have never rider one...

Said forms of life are normally known as 'oiks'!:msn-wink:

[Berries]

How's the Clearasil working now? :bleh:
Not too bad.

I thought I could see my first pube as well last night but then I pissed out of it.

[GrayWolf]

Harley Davidsons are a heap of shit.

Usually said by spotty teenagers who have never rider one...


But it's true.


But it's true!!:bleh:


Harley davidson's are the best bikes in the world..
\usually said by non riders, who believe the hype

OK so is it fair to extrapolate from these posts that:

Harley Davidson's are the greatest shite out there? :p

[scumdog]

OK so is it fair to extrapolate from these posts that:

Harley Davidson's are the greatest shite out there? :p

Oh yes, you can't get better shite than a Harley Davidson, top-the-line shite they are!:2thumbsup

[lizardb0y]

"How fast does it go?"

Usually when stopped for petrol. I used to hear this all the time when I was on my '92 Ducati 900SS - a bike that was lucky to make 75 HP at the rear. I have a certificate to say it will top 208 km/h though!

[Maha]

''So Maha can't afford to come on rides but he can afford a new bike''....

[Hitcher]

Is that the motorcycle that crashed or the other one?

[tigertim20]

today while at an intersection undergoing major roadworks, surrounded by almost gridlocked traffic I hear from one of the idiots who had just finished spreading gravel across the intersection 'OI! DO A FUCKIN WHEELIE FOR US'

[Fast Eddie]

"How fast does it go?"

Usually when stopped for petrol. I used to hear this all the time when I was on my '92 Ducati 900SS - a bike that was lucky to make 75 HP at the rear. I have a certificate to say it will top 208 km/h though!

ha.. i got a few of those certificates in my younger days... bloody expensive

[Geeen]

Stopped at a car yard in Tauranga years ago on my CBR600, Salesman duly asks " So how long does it take you to get to Auckland on that?" Was so close to saying 10 minutes......

[flyingcrocodile46]

I would have made it ok but the corner tightened up.:rolleyes:

I booked my bike in for an oil and air filter change.:facepalm:

I always wear ATGATT :rolleyes:

[onearmedbandit]

Oh I choose to drop it. Yep, was my only choice, well that or die hahaha.

[Matariki]

Scooters are safer than motorcycles.

[McFatty1000]

"just gonna do a little work on the bike, it wont take long..."

[hellokitty]

:killingme said to my husband about my Hornet "that's a nice little bike... I guess you have to wait for her to catch up with you when you ride together..." He rides a softail and is the first person to say that my "little" 900 can beat his "big" 1450

[Phantom Limb]

:killingme said to my husband about my Hornet "that's a nice little bike... I guess you have to wait for her to catch up with you when you ride together..." He rides a softail and is the first person to say that my "little" 900 can beat his "big" 1450

It's the age old "it has a bigger motor, so it must be faster" assumption isn't it? It usually launches me into a lecture about engines and various technologies employed, but that is usually met with a blank 'Possum about to become a paint job' stare.

[GrayWolf]

:killingme said to my husband about my Hornet "that's a nice little bike... I guess you have to wait for her to catch up with you when you ride together..." He rides a softail and is the first person to say that my "little" 900 can beat his "big" 1450


It's the age old "it has a bigger motor, so it must be faster" assumption isn't it? It usually launches me into a lecture about engines and various technologies employed, but that is usually met with a blank 'Possum about to become a paint job' stare.

LOL, thats about 'up there' when I only own a bike for transport, and get told by some (dressed in obviously either recently purchased, or hardly worn leathers etc, and a bike that does about 3-5k a year) that they are a 'REAL BIKER" :nya::nya:

[Str8 Jacket]

"I bet you can't wait until you get a proper (bigger engine) bike!"

[Lozza2442]

The Red one's go faster ....

You mean they don't?? :eek5:

[Phantom Limb]

LOL, thats about 'up there' when I only own a bike for transport, and get told by some (dressed in obviously either recently purchased, or hardly worn leathers etc, and a bike that does about 3-5k a year) that they are a 'REAL BIKER" :nya::nya:

Ha!
Truly mate, I used to get this a lot when I was riding my old VTR250. "Oh when are you gonna get a real bike?"

It usually came from people who did as many miles in a year as I cover in a month. :motu:

[Dave-]

Scooter riders scare the shit out of me, hear these lines at work:

"My scooter doesn't go very fast, so I don't need a jacket/pants/gloves."

sometimes appended by justifying how "thick" their puffer jacket or gloves are, and how they would easily take a slide along the road.

and I once had a teenage girl, who's mum was willing to spend top dollar on safety equipment

"NO I WILL NOT WEAR A JACKET, THEY'RE UGLY, I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING A MOTORCYCLE JACKET!"

[ducatilover]

I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING A MOTORCYCLE JACKET!"
Beautifully ironic quip there :pinch:

[Reido]

At Paeroa BOT a couple years ago I was upstairs watching the litre sports bikes coming out of the hair pin. One of the guys next to said something to his make like "Woaahh, they'll be doing like 300 there" :weird:

I explained to him that it takes about 3ish seconds for them to reach 100 from standing start, so no, they wouldnt be doing 300 as they come out of the hairpin and if he wanted to see them going fast he should go near the end of straights.

[Matariki]

Scooter riders scare the shit out of me, hear these lines at work:

"NO I WILL NOT WEAR A JACKET, THEY'RE UGLY, I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING A MOTORCYCLE JACKET!"

Well, sadly for her mother shes probably right.

[Kornholio]

Oh I choose to drop it. Yep, was my only choice, well that or die hahaha.

I thought I'd be tough and ram straight into the prick that pulled out in front of me, maybe I shoulda dropped it... Wrote his car off tho so i got a wee bit of payback

[ProTuned]

"250s are not safe at 100 km/hr"

"I'd rather have comfort, safety and air conditioning"

"I might only be interested in a trike down the line as motorbikes are not suited for touring"

"Lamborghinis are just as fun as bikes"


And the best one:

"Leaning while taking corners in a car is just as exhilarating as taking them on a motorbike" :killingme

[scumdog]

"

And the best one:

"Leaning while taking corners in a car is just as exhilarating as taking them on a motorbike" :killingme

It might be - for THAT person!

[Scuba_Steve]

"Lamborghinis are just as fun as bikes"


I wouldn't say that ones wrong per se, but I (and many others) can afford a bike!

[R-Soul]

A mate of mine comes out with some gems, he rides a new GSXR600, bought it because it "looked fast", also, on a ride he's slower through the bends than an old lady in a Hyundai Accent, heres a few:

-"I'm starting to think that I want a bigger bike, mine feels slow to me now"
-"I haven't revved it past 10 on the dial, it's a bit scary" :facepalm:
-"Finally got rid of my chicken strips" (rear tyre still has vent runners on all but the centre 4cm stripe)
-"The wind is too strong for the bike" :blink:
-"I'm getting my 'fast' thrills out of the way on this bike, then I'll get a propper one"

And, wait for it:

-"My next bike will be a FatBoy!" looks at me smiling expecting a smile + knowing nod, recieves naught but a blank stare. :yawn:

Theres another favourite of mine, from some mates who drive stripped out cars in the NZ Targa, road sprints and track time battles:
-"Motorcycles are far too dangerous"

Yes, that is from guys who think nothing of throwing a car down a shitty rural back road at twice the speed limit.

Your mate sounds like he does not know about counter steering. Best tell him before he dies.

[McFatty1000]

"250s are not safe at 100 km/hr"

Are many things actually 'safe' at 100km/hr?

I'd say my old 250 was 'less safe' as it was getting close to its maximum at this speed, and certainly a little less fun, but it did the job it was made for...

[Lozza2442]

Went from 0 to 6 retarded comments in one day. Shall give them in order that they happened

This morning -

Talk to my friend about upgrading to a motorbike from his 50 cc scooter. I told him I'd sell him my bike for cheap he says "I don't want to buy your piece of shit, I know how to ride now that I've had my scooter so I'm gonna get like a 500cc next month"

Talking to work supervisor who rides his scooter to work. Offer to give him my old gloves as I just got new ones and he rides with none. "How would you know what I need? You're a girl. I don't even believe that you ride a motorbike. You prob just have a scooter like me". *sigh*

On the way home tonight -

Go back to my bike at the carpark. Dude yells out his window "Shouldn't you be waiting for your man to take you home? Surely thats not yours!"

Stop at traffic lights with my visor up - Pedestrian guy says to his friend "Duuuude. Look at that! Its a hot chick! Riding a motorbike! That's impossible!" - While a backhanded compliment, I'm intrigued to know what he thinks female riders look like... werewolves or something??

Pull up to next traffic lights next to a guy in his work ute - "Oi girl! You know how to ride that thing?" ... NAHHHH. I'm just sitting here doing my nails. wtf.

And lastly get yelled at on the motorway (not sure what car it came from)- "What would your parents say if they knew you were riding a motorbike??"



Was it national sexist pig day or something?

[McFatty1000]

Pedestrian guy says to his friend "Duuuude. Look at that! Its a hot chick! Riding a motorbike! That's impossible!" - While a backhanded compliment, I'm intrigued to know what he thinks female riders look like... werewolves or something??

Well, take it this way, they got the gender right? Surely it would have been worse if they'd thought you were a guy...

But yes, pretty sure today was one of those days all round

[Spazman727]

Well, take it this way, they got the gender right? Surely it would have been worse if they'd thought you were a guy...

But yes, pretty sure today was one of those days all round


On that not a while ago a few guys in a work truck whistled at me. I'm a guy, I'm just skinny and have long hair. They sped off when they saw my face. Heh.

[McFatty1000]

On that not a while ago a few guys in a work truck whistled at me. I'm a guy, I'm just skinny and have long hair. They sped off when they saw my face. Heh.

Yeah, I know the feeling - have cut my hair since and haven't had any since that I've noticed. Even better when you smile knowingly back, the reaction is priceless..

[Berries]

Stop at traffic lights with my visor up - Pedestrian guy says to his friend "Duuuude. Look at that! Its a hot chick! Riding a motorbike! That's impossible!" - While a backhanded compliment, I'm intrigued to know what he thinks female riders look like... werewolves or something??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but....................

[Lozza2442]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but....................

Hahahaha how to annoy a lot of powerful people on here. And I'm not talking just specifically about the women, I'm talking bout the ones where the husband and wife are both on here. Some poor sod is bound to say the wrong thing in reaction and it'll be silent treatment for a fair while.

:bleh:

[tigertim20]

Hahahaha how to annoy a lot of powerful people on here. And I'm not talking just specifically about the women, I'm talking bout the ones where the husband and wife are both on here. Some poor sod is bound to say the wrong thing in reaction and it'll be silent treatment for a fair while.

:bleh:

this is a closely guarded secret, but Ill let you in on it. Sometimes we blokes do stupid shit to piss the women off in hope of the silent treatment.

usually we see it as more of a holiday than a punishment!:eek:

[Headbanger]

Was it national sexist pig day or something?

Every day is sexist pig day, Now show us your tits and then get back in the kitchen.

[Lozza2442]

this is a closely guarded secret, but Ill let you in on it. Sometimes we blokes do stupid shit to piss the women off in hope of the silent treatment.

usually we see it as more of a holiday than a punishment!:eek:

Haha I have brothers, don't worry, I get it. And apparently being made to sleep on the couch is great, like a camping trip haha.

How to punish a man, spend ALL your time and attention on him lol

[FJRider]

... How to punish a man, spend ALL your time and attention on him lol

Yep ... never leave his side ... :(

[Old Steve]

Stop at traffic lights with my visor up - Pedestrian guy says to his friend "Duuuude. Look at that! Its a hot chick! Riding a motorbike! That's impossible!" - While a backhanded compliment, I'm intrigued to know what he thinks female riders look like... werewolves or something??

Hey Lozza, there's one diamond amongst the dross there.

At least he said, "It's a HOT chick!"

And who cares what the cagers think, they just don't know how it feels out here on two wheels.

[ProTuned]

Are many things actually 'safe' at 100km/hr?

I'd say my old 250 was 'less safe' as it was getting close to its maximum at this speed, and certainly a little less fun, but it did the job it was made for...

Exactly, it doesnt matter whether you are on a 1000cc or a 250cc, they both have a similar outcome if you crash at 100km/hr. But this person also thought they might fall apart when ridden at that speed. Might be true for some dodgy motorcycles from some unknown manufacturer in China though. lol

[FJRider]

Exactly, it doesnt matter whether you are on a 1000cc or a 250cc, they both have a similar outcome if you crash at 100km/hr.

100 km/hr is perfectly safe. It becomes totally unsafe at 104 km/hr .... hence why they allow the tolerance ... between 100 and 104 it is merely "risky" ...

[ducatilover]

"I can keep up with sport bikes on my 883"

[haydes55]

"I can keep up with sport bikes on my 883"

That's true, following a police car. :Pokey:

[scumdog]

"I can keep up with sport bikes on my 883"

Hmmm, must have met the same sprotsbike riders I have at times...

[Shadows]

"I can keep up with sport bikes on my 883"

The veracity of that comment would entirely depend on who was making the statement.

It is easily done when only a small proportion of sports bikes actually have competent riders on them. To be fair the same goes for any type of bike.

In fact, the only difference between the majority of sport bike riders and the majority of non-sport bike riders is the type of wank which spins their wheels. Their choice of bike style speaks nothing of their ability.

Myself, I ride what could be called a cross over bike, so I can wank with whomever I like.

[hayd3n]

but cruisers cant countersteer

[ducatilover]

:bleh::bleh::bleh: I was really hoping for more Harley lovers to jump up and down
My GN can keep up with any Harley.




Myself, I ride what could be called a cross over bike, so I can wank with whomever I like.
Quote of the week
:headbang:

[scumdog]

My GN can keep up with any Harley.
Quote of the week
:headbang:

Listen, I'm sick of towing you everywhere - get a motor fitted to the GN soon or I'll leave you behind next time.:devil2:

[Ntoxcated]

Are you two trying to get him killed???? From a lumbering Boulevard (no offence mate) to a Busa or a ZX14?


At least it will be quick enough to get him out of trouble.

:facepalm:

[Phantom Limb]

As noted by a member of the public fuelling up his Mazda Bongo at the Shell station last week:

"Shit, is that a 1300cc?? When you pulled in I thought it looked like a 600 at the most!" <_<

I wonder when this guy spots a 250cc he expects to see the rider pedalling and indicating by hand :rolleyes:
That said he was about 200Kg of lump, so any motorcycle probably looks like a suppository to him.

[tigertim20]

after someone has just had a test ride on an R1 followed by a quick 600 for the first time

Me Howd you find that?
Them yeah, not as scary as people reckon, I think Id be fine if I bought one
Me really? you dont see the difference between that and your 250?
Them Nah, I got them both up to about 6500rpm, I was ginning it and I was just like, Meh.

[nadroj]

From someone I let have a ride on my Busa - "they go pretty quick when you get to 6000rpm don't they"

[McFatty1000]

Found a few more:

"Motorcycles can go faster doing a wheelie because there's less friction because only one tire is on the ground!!!!"

Trying to explain lane splitting: "But if I'm stuck in traffic, you should be too."

Whats with the whole thing of different names for cars and different riders by the way? Cages, squids etc etc?

[ducatilover]

Whats with the whole thing of different names for cars and different riders by the way? Cages, squids etc etc?
It's nautical slang, squids get caught by cages, generally.

[ellipsis]

...i'm wondering if my 150/250 will make it from ? to ?...what should i expect on my odyssey...:facepalm:

[blue rider]

...i'm wondering if my 150/250 will make it from ? to ?...what should i expect on my odyssey...:facepalm:

sirens, pigs and adventure ?

[McFatty1000]

It's nautical slang, squids get caught by cages, generally.

Ah yes, it was so obvious.... Man, fell into that one :facepalm:

It is an American type thing or motorbike rider in general type slang?

[onearmedbandit]

Whats with the whole thing of different names for cars and different riders by the way? Cages, squids etc etc?

Cage- Because you have a metal cage around you, ultimately excluding you from the freedom biking offers
Squid - Stupidly Quick, Under-dressed, Ignorant and Dangerous. Or Imminently Dead. Also 'Squirrely kid'.

[GrayWolf]

""

"Lamborghinis are just as fun as bikes"

Having been passenger in a Lambo some years ago.. I would almost have to agree with that, the are'nt called the 'raging bull' for nothing, Brutal power delivery and the handling is downright fucking scary... They are an unrefined throwback to cars like the AC Cobra 427. <<(not a copy Cobra)

[GrayWolf]

but cruisers cant countersteer

so a Honda cruiser rider is in double jeopardy? :innocent:

[Dave-]

"Bike Brakes never boil" - the people organising a car and bike track day at ruapuna