Sesame Street school bus

[Beemer]

Mike gets a job driving the bus for the Sesame Street School for Gifted Children. The day he starts he pulls up at the first bus stop and a huge girl gets on and says "hi, I'm Patty". He marks her off the list and drives to the next stop, where another large girl gets on, saying "hi, I'm Patty too". At the third stop he gets off the bus to help a kid in a wheelchair. "What's your name, son?" he asks. "I'm Special Ross," the kid replies. At the final stop a skinny black kid jumps on the bus, gives him a high five and says "yo man, I'm Lester T".

A few miles down the road Mike notices this horrible smell. He looks in the rear vision mirror and notices Lester T has his shoes and socks off and is picking his feet. The stench is so bad that Mike loses control of the bus and it rolls into a ditch.

When the police arrive, they ask Mike what happened.

"God," he says, "it's only 9am and already I've had two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester T, picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"

[Wolf]

"God," he says, "it's only 9am and already I've had two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester T, picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"
Did he get fries with that?

[ManDownUnder]

oh it hurts it hurts - quick, someone get this joke some crutches....

:rofl:

[Beemer]

Maybe his arse was fried when his boss heard the news!

The thread is called 'jokes and humour' - no mention of them having to be GOOD jokes! :whistle:

[Wolf]

Maybe his arse was fried when his boss heard the news!

The thread is called 'jokes and humour' - no mention of them having to be GOOD jokes! :whistle:
Spank, please set up a sub-sub-forum called "Crappy Jokes"... we could do with the warning (says one of the worst offenders :devil2: )

[Beemer]

Why thank you, Wolf, I will take that as a compliment! My late father and I used to make each other weep with our sad puns, can't stop myself!

[Wolf]

Why thank you, Wolf, I will take that as a compliment! My late father and I used to make each other weep with our sad puns, can't stop myself!
A group of scouts were camping by the ocean - they pitched their tents well above the high tide mark (OK, not very realistic, that bit, but this is just a joke). They were most amused by the pod of dolphins that would play out in the bay. Each day the scout master would ring the bell to call everyone to breakfast and the scouts would throw food to the dolphins who would come in closer for the free food.

Pretty soon the dolphins started coming in as soon as the bell rang hoping for a free meal. On the morning of their last day the scout master cooked breakfast, rang the bell and shouted "Breakfast is served, to all in tents and porpoises."

[Beemer]

Pretty soon the dolphins started coming in as soon as the bell rang hoping for a free meal. On the morning of their last day the scout master cooked breakfast, rang the bell and shouted "Breakfast is served, to all in tents and porpoises."

Ohhhh, can you hear me groaning from there? That is terrible! But I did laugh! :clap:

[Wolf]

Ohhhh, can you hear me groaning from there? That is terrible! But I did laugh! :clap:
Got one of my flatmates big time - he was on the loo so I figured he couldn't escape and I yelled though the door. "I'm thinking of getting a dolphin." He asked why (I know, he should've known better) and I replied "I'm tired of going through life without a porpoise"

All I heard was an agonised groan that could not possibly have been related to an upset stomach and then silence. I thought for a while he'd drowned himself in the bowl to stop the agony. :devil2:

[scumdog]

Got one of my flatmates big time - he was on the loo so I figured he couldn't escape and I yelled though the door. "I'm thinking of getting a dolphin." He asked why (I know, he should've known better) and I replied "I'm tired of going through life without a porpoise"

All I heard was an agonised groan that could not possibly have been related to an upset stomach and then silence. I thought for a while he'd drowned himself in the bowl to stop the agony. :devil2:

That was almost a line from Auf Wedersien Pet, Dennis had just said to Oz "the difference between you Oz and the rest of us is that we've got a purpose" and Oz says "eh? where d'you keep it man? who feeds it?"

[Wolf]

That was almost a line from Auf Wedersien Pet, Dennis had just said to Oz "the difference between you Oz and the rest of us is that we've got a purpose" and Oz says "eh? where d'you keep it man? who feeds it?"
Argh. I can even hear Oz's voice!

Loved that show.