Things you say to yourself in your helmet when riding!

[Metal Doctor]

thought it would be funny to hear the things you say/shout to yourself in your helmet when your out riding!

heres a few from me

"fukfukfukfukfukfuuuuuuuuuuuk!! Woo! made it!"

"shit, coppers!"

"oooofffffffff!! oww, thats gonna hurt tomorrow"

[Reido]

"Raindrops keep falling on my head..... etc " :whistle:

or rather helmet.

[Maha]

''Jeez I hope that Metal Doctor aint out riding the same roads as me today''.

[Gremlin]

''Jeez I hope that Metal Doctor aint out riding the same roads as me today''.
*peers at bike*

Ah, KTM, hooligan toys, explains it...

[Tigadee]

"Hello! You gotta be kidding me!" (at cager going slow in fast lane)

[G4L4XY]

I laugh when I see a speed camera van facing towards me (no plate) hahaha

"fuck this wind is bull****!!!"

[bogan]

wide entry, cut in to the apex, sightline, throttle, wide exit... and repeat :D

or

da-da-da da-da-da daah (you know, that low pitched chase music) when I feel like the v-twin ambiance could be enhanced

[Metal Doctor]

*peers at bike*

Ah, KTM, hooligan toys, explains it...

Hey thats bikeist!

i'am though.haha

but only on the dirt now, coz if i ride on the roads i may aswell go and hand myself into the police.

[FJRider]

Oooop's ..........

[haydes55]

Most common phrase "fuck you wanker" or "how the fuck did you get a licence?"

Commuting is stressful sometimes.

[Maha]

*peers at bike*

Ah, KTM, hooligan toys, explains it...

From the Nirvana thread...

''I used to get up at sunrise just to ride her majestys highways like they were my own personal race tracks.

Since i've been in NZ all my riding has been on the dirt, doing trail rides and eating sand at woodhill! As much as this feeds my desire for speed and riding like a twat i am longing for the feel of tarmac, the scream of a big 4, the punch of a V twin, but most of all i miss the cornering.....from the moment you spot the corner coming, sliding your arse off the seat, bang down through the gears, waiting till the last moment before diving in, the rmp's peak as you lean to the edge, the sensation of a knee slider dragging, the feel of a tyre on the edge of grip, hit the apex, start winding on the power, she's fightin you all the way! rear breaks traction just a little! the front lifts! 3rd!4th!5th gear! chin on the tank, tuck in behind the faring as tight as possible ready for the next one''

[huff3r]

Most common phrase "fuck you wanker" or "how the fuck did you get a licence?"

Commuting is stressful sometimes.

Hamilton? I feel your pain. Far too many cereal box licences.

Mine tends to be similar... "You F**KING D**K" etc.

[haydes55]

Hamilton? I feel your pain. Far too many cereal box licences.

Mine tends to be similar... "You F**KING D**K" etc.

Yup, not every day but a lot more idiots than there should be.

On a side note, I've driven through Otara once in my life in a bright red car and had 4 close calls in the time it took to drive through :sweatdrop Had people indicating left then turning right cutting me off, people just changing into my lane while I was overtaking them etc. I would rather walk through Otara than ride through on a motorbike.

[MrKiwi]

you've got to be kidding me you blind ****wit...

[Drew]

"I wonder if that green shirt I saw in the shop earlier, will go with my eyes".

[swtfa]

Does this bike make my arse look big...?

[Magnum Noel]

"I wonder if that green shirt I saw in the shop earlier, will go with my eyes".

Green and red should be no problem.

[yod]

"Spiderpig, spiderpig, doin' whatever a spiderpig does...."

[Coolz]

Havn't talked to myself since the last round of shock treatment. However recently,after commiting myself to a risky manouver,a voice,clear and unbidden,spoke in my head 'What would Katman say?'

I have resumed treatment.

[Subike]

""Fuck Fuck Fuck! slow down a bit lad....

Jeeeeezuzzzz, whewh!

You dumb fucken cager..... ( screamed out loud)

Here we go again, fucking grit on a corner.... bugger.

[rastuscat]

Don't normally restrict it to my helmet. No, it's the whole environment for moi.

Normally something like Ya Knob, or similar.

[Tigadee]

Don't normally restrict it to my helmet. No, it's the whole environment for moi.
Normally something like Ya Knob, or similar.

I thought you'd be talking in your helmet all the time... into your mic?

"Spotted 'suspect' with box of donuts heading south on the motorway. Am intercepting and confiscating... over. Request back-up to assist in disposal of donuts."

[caseye]

Yup, not every day but a lot more idiots than there should be.

On a side note, I've driven through Otara once in my life in a bright red car and had 4 close calls in the time it took to drive through :sweatdrop Had people indicating left then turning right cutting me off, people just changing into my lane while I was overtaking them etc. I would rather walk through Otara than ride through on a motorbike.

Seriously?????????? go on, you wouldn't really you know. Otara during the day, on a footpath,Na you'd get wiped out in the first 50 feet.
They're bigger an meaner than you and they're all outa kindness and compassion.If you are in their wheel tracks it's goodnight nurse.
What happened in your bright red car, that's pretty normal there too, just go around it! yep right around it.They load cars up with 6 big bushy headed fellas and drive through red lights just for fun around there.

[Oakie]

"Ohhh c'mon c'mon c'mon" ... when someone takes too long to do what they should do

"Oww. That (bump/hole/crack) wasn't there yesterday" (Chch speciality)

"Oooh fuck" ... covers a variety of situations

"Mmm, nice" ... lycra clad girly bums on push bikes

"Good girl" ... as I climb off having completed another successful commute to work

[kinger]

"Mmm, nice" ... lycra clad girly bums on push bikes

Sadly, normally belonging to blokes with shaved legs. The women seem to engulf their saddles a la a certain Queen song.........

[@ndy]

Usually talk to myself or sing... da-da-da song is pretty common...

[onelittlenurse]

OOOHHHH SHITTTT!!! usually happens when Ive entered a tight corner too fast damn it..

WooHOOO when it all comes together

fuk fuk fuk when Im trying to push it forward with my tippy toes and cant quite get it over that bump.....

'oh god that was embarrassing' when I stalled it trying to take off on a group ride

[Oakie]

The women seem to engulf their saddles a la a certain Queen song.........

Mmm. I had the poster of that song on my bedroom wall when I was much younger. Still got the album in the garage too.

[GSF]

When I have a close call with a bad driver my helmet monologue usually goes something like this:

"Oh, no you're not going to do that, that's just dumb, oh no that would just be really silly now, someone wouldn't do that would they... oh no, you just did it - *lots of bad words*!"

[EJK]

"Lets do this! WOOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!"

When overtaking.

[_Shrek_]

Does this bike make my arse look big...?

put up a pic a lets see if it does :whistle:

[ducatilover]

"It's business time" is essentially what goes through my mind all the time, bike or not

Otherwise I'll sing uber cool songs, Like "Rain on Me - Travis" as loud as possible
Or the Muppet's theme song, never fails to put me in a great mood

[_Shrek_]

night time wish I had better lights.... day light keep it down

woohoo Haast dry & .... can have fun at the speed limit

[The Lone Rider]

"Man I need to take a piss"

[Reubix]

"Crack on with it!"

and

...Just laughing maniacally

[Stirts]

I swear lots when I fuck things up.

And

I swear lots when I get it right.

But, I remember one of the first threads I read on KB, very similar to this one in fact. Someone posted that they poke their tongue out and try and reach the helemt. I been trying that again with my new helmet.

[Swoop]

Generally not confining sounds to inside the helmet, when in the vicinity of fucking red-light runners...:ar15:

[DEATH_INC.]

I have trouble figuring out which voice I should answer first so I just keep quiet and leave them to it.

[Tigadee]

Or the Muppet's theme song, never fails to put me in a great mood

Truer words have never been spoken... :laugh:

[strandedinnz]

Since I'm still bedding in to riding again it's been stuff like :

"Ooops, sorry! I'm sure that'll stick right back on!"
"Don;t worry it'll polish out"
and more commonly "Oh crap you're fluffing the corner up please don't let there be a car!!!"

[gijoe1313]

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout...", even do the actions when I'm parked up at the lights (much to the amusement of the other vehicle users around me)

The mah-na-muh song by the muppets (doo-doo-do-doo-doo, damn, going to have that playing in my head in classes now!)

Bohemian Rhapsody

And sometimes the St Crispin's day speech (I just like the bit where its about letting slip the dogs of war since I'm a card carrying filthy biker scum!)

Wait, I just ramble on regardless! :pinch:

[tbs]

..... slightly off topic, but still relevant.

Many years ago (before the modern age of suspension) I was pushing my mountain bike back up a track to have another go at a BIG jump while my mate waited with the camera. I was giving myself the little pep talk.... "No fear, no fear, no fear..." It was a big jump, but my poor bike couldn't quite handle the landing and I ended up with my handle bar bent badly downwards at either end and two very sprained wrists. I've been a bit careful what I tell myself ever since. (As a side note, my parents were annoyed at the damage to my bike and refused to help replace the handle bar, so a mate's father heated it up with a blowtorch and bent it more or less straight for me. It had some bad-ass heat marks either side of the stem, but it used to slowly bend downwards at those points and I would have to periodically rotate it 180 degrees until my parents conceded this was bit dangerous and bought a new bar.)

Back on topic, it's amazing how much swearing goes on inside my helmet when I don't really do it in normal conversation. The woman who cut across my bow without indicating through Remuera village yesterday morning got a huge telling off. Unfortunately she couldn't hear it, so I had to resort to overtaking her and pointedly pulling back in front of her without indicating before filtering up to the lights and getting the hell out of Dodge. Childish, I know, but it was just such a horrendous move that I felt it was justified.

[ducatilover]

I was riding behind a mate's 328i the other day following him to his house and I pulled out and blitzed him as he nailed it out of town, this made me say "byyyyeeee" like Snake off the Simpsons :D

[nudemetalz]

Mine while riding the Guzzi is "hey, this isn't working now" or "hmm,...that's a new different noise..",..or "wonder if it will get me home today",....or "where's a shop window so I can check out how good I look "..... :cool:

[baffa]

I have the wierdest tunes that run through my head that I sometimes hum.
Stuff like the Alex the Kidd music, or Macgayver.

Other than that, the only other noises I make are manic laughter when I do something stupid, or explititives when someone does something stupid.

Unless blowing raspberries counts, its useful to warm up your face on a cold day Ive found =D

[haydes55]

I swear lots when I fuck things up.

And

I swear lots when I get it right.

But, I remember one of the first threads I read on KB, very similar to this one in fact. Someone posted that they poke their tongue out and try and reach the helemt. I been trying that again with my new helmet.

Haha i'm gonna try licking my helmet now. Just don't try it after sneezing in a helmet.

[Stirts]

Just don't try it after sneezing in a helmet.

Those loaded sneezes are the worst. Although... at least no-one will see you eating your own boogers.

[tbs]

Those loaded sneezes are the worst. Although... at least no-one will see you eating your own boogers.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QMWDPJymksI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[george formby]

I'm usually too busy trying to co-ordinate my limbs, digits, brain & senses to say much. I do burst into song on boring roads, though. Oh hang on, i often say "look at that eejit".

[Stirts]

tease :weep:

272436

I hate it when work gets in the way of fun stuff

[tbs]

tease :weep:

I hate it when work gets in the way of fun stuff

You'll have to watch it at home.

[dino3310]

Be one with the bike
I am Johnny Campbell, I am Johnny Campbell, I am Johnny Campbell,

WWWWWhhhhhooooaaahhhhh fuck that was close, slow down Dino your not Johnny Campbell:laugh:


most commenly the 'OH FAAAARK' is used when not singing the last song i heard on the radio

[turtleman]

Mmm. I had the poster of that song on my bedroom wall when I was much younger. Still got the album in the garage too.

Yup - got the CD, and vinyl. I still have the poster, too! :Punk:

[Slyran]

I was pretty happy the other day when I realised that since I'm not taking public transport anymore I can sing as much as I want.

[slofox]

For me, it is the little man in my head telling me to look for the next thing to pass. I just lurve ripping past stuff. (God alone knows why...). :wacko:

[Akzle]

lllleeggggsss!
(legs)

either good
http://nutritionresearchcenter.org/healthnews/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/410525_jeans_skirts.jpg
or bad
http://www.thighfatcenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/iStock_000016511531XSmall.jpg

[Akzle]

http://d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net/image_cache/129884687588624.jpeg
. .

[Oakie]

Haha i'm gonna try licking my helmet now. Just don't try it after sneezing in a helmet.

Or you could lick the outside of the visor to clean it like me... :bleh:

Did a big wet sneeze into my balaclava about a month ago. Yuk!. Had to discretely leaver it out to dry at work.

[GSF]

Those loaded sneezes are the worst. Although... at least no-one will see you eating your own boogers.

I did a 30 minute ride home on the motorway after I got stranded somewhere with a killer migraine. As soon as I got off at the Greenlane roundabout, I threw up in my helmet.

It was not very awesome to be perfectly frank. For sale: 1x Shoei XR1000, never sicked up in ever, honest.

[rastuscat]

Or the Muppet's theme song, never fails to put me in a great mood

10 Characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXvV2ALV0bg

[tail_end_charlie]

When riding in the pissing down rain:

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Just keep it smooth, smooth is key. Easy on the brakes, nice and gently now. Slow is smoo............................F******* S***! I said slow you f****** munter! Why the f*** did you F******* do that stupid s*** when I f****** told you to f******* be f******* smooth! You, useless F******* t***.

After that it usually just starts repeating, so I thought I would just paraphrase.

There are also a lot of "Don't pull out, just stay there. Don't do that, I have the right of way..................whew, thanks for obeying traffic laws." at intersections. Course sometimes the thankyou part doesn't happen..........those instances the ranting usaully stops when I run out of breath.

[Oakie]

Forgot one:

'Only a fool breaks the two second rule"

and for rainy days "Only a fool breaks the two second rule and today it is raining"

... of course I tend to say it faster than you should so it fits the distance I'm actually following by ... :brick:

[Mom]

This morning I got caught in traffic in a non splitting situation, so it was, I will not put my feet down, slower, slower, I will not put my feet down, slower, slower. By doing this I can travel at really stupidly slow speeds. Of course this afternoon it got counter balanced by, I can not believe that 2 plod have just joined the motorway before me :pinch:

[FJRider]

This morning I got caught in traffic in a non splitting situation ...

I got caught in traffic this arvo too ... the one in front refused to go faster than 105. and the one behind didn't want to pass either ... :crazy:

I haven't seen the traffic that bad around here ... for ages ... :calm:

[Mom]

I got caught in traffic this arvo too ... the one in front refused to go faster than 105. and the one behind didn't want to pass either ... :crazy:

I haven't seen the traffic that bad around here ... for ages ... :calm:

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere :crazy:

[Drew]

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere :crazy:

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?:buggerd:

[FJRider]

Yeah well I dont live in Bum Fuck Nowhere :crazy:

Down here in Bum Fuck Nowhere ... We have donuts ... AND ... sticky-buns ... :drool:


And on a good day Pancakes ... :lol:


Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ??? ;)

[FJRider]

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?:buggerd:

:scratch: suzuki riders ... eh ... !!! :pinch:

[Drew]

Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ??? ;)Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?:eek5::sweatdrop

[Madness]

Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?

They don't call it the deep south for nothin'

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[FJRider]

Maybe they heard about the bum fucking?:eek5::sweatdrop

1st I've heard of it ... :wacko: What does she know ... that I don't ... ???? :sweatdrop

[Mom]

Soooooo, you get your bum fucked in a major metropolis then?:buggerd:

I prefer to think of it as a lovely place to be if it is all the same to you , bum fucking by negotiation :eek5:

[Mom]

Down here in Bum Fuck Nowhere ... We have donuts ... AND ... sticky-buns ... :drool:


And on a good day Pancakes ... :lol:


Quite a few Northerners are moving down here to live too ... what do they know ... that you don't ... ??? ;)

I am off carbs at the moment :2thumbsup

[FJRider]

I am off carbs at the moment :2thumbsup

It's ok ... there's no calories in Paradise ...

Well there are ... but they don't work after 7pm ...

[Mom]

It's ok ... there's no calories in Paradise ...

Well there are ... but they don't work after 7pm ...

But that is when the wine flows :doh:

[sgtp]

When I used to commute from the rappa to wellytown, following the hutt river on SH2, I started singing the old man river song in the voice of the guy in this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh9WayN7R-s .....only knew three words to the song though :killingme

Also during my start of riding, I found my self singing this queen song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM8Ss28zjcE .....only knew 5 words to that one, lol:lol:

[FJRider]

But that is when the wine flows :doh:

It's ok then ... we have plenty of wine ... :banana:

[Conquiztador]

"They'r coming to take me away haha... they'r coming to take me away hoho hihi haha...to the funny farm...."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4

[_Shrek_]

"They'r coming to take me away haha... they'r coming to take me away hoho hihi haha...to the funny farm...."

:psst: so there is some one else that sings this, I sing this when I'm on a long haul on a nice day

[Jacobite]

Much like many others the perennial favorite of some variation of: "You f**king arsehole" is often uttered along with "come on, come on, come on, move you fat lazy git". Singing Gaslight Anthem's Handwritten when I feel really bored and whenever I see a scooter I can't help but growl "Get a real bike".

[Tigadee]

Sometimes I sing this song when cagers nearly take me out on the road...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8UVNT4wvIGY#t=92s

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

[arcane12]

Hmm, for me it would have to be "...What _are_ you doing?" or other mental wtf's.

No music in my head, but I will often mentally debate the route to take "hmm, this time of day I could just nip through there..."

And one for commuting through farmland - "ugh, I didn't notice that smell when I drove through here last". And on the smell side, I do notice those 'special' places where there is obviously some sort of sewer blockage (like Hamilton East side of bridge street bridge, from time to time).

[JafaSaffer]

:motu: :Police:

[007XX]

When I just started riding on the road,I'd give myself little pep talks, especially around scary tight corners.

On the open road, I'm not a hugely balsy rider. I much prefer the track, where I'm still not a devil may care, but I feel safer.

When I was dirt riding, I'd be berrating myself when I was being a wuss about a particularly big rut or annoying as hell deep soft sand.

Now on the open road, I just tend to sing really bad renditions of Adele or Whitney Houston. I'm sure the hounds in surrounding areas are still howling in unison.

[Tigadee]

I just tend to sing really bad renditions of Adele or Whitney Houston. I'm sure the hounds in surrounding areas are still howling in unison.

Ahhhhhhhhh! So that was you the other night... Was wondering what set off the dogs in our neighbourhood. Thought it was just the moon! :laugh:

[007XX]

Ahhhhhhhhh! So that was you the other night... Was wondering what set off the dogs in our neighbourhood. Thought it was just the moon! :laugh:



Are you sure it wasn't just you sprouting hair all over and going to deal to the sheep? :bleh:

[Tigadee]

Are you sure it wasn't just you sprouting hair all over and going to deal to the sheep?

That's baaa-aaaaaa-aaad!

[007XX]

That's baaa-aaaaaa-aaad!

Only if they're wearing gumboots apparently :eek:

[Retep5]

Going past bad cow smells. "Sweet and pungent cow"
When cages do something stupid. "Oooo Yep"
When tired "Snap out of it concentrate .... concentrate"
When Raining "Slow and easy"

Humming in my helmet.

That's about it for me otherwise I listen to the radio and sing along :).

[Tigadee]

Don't need to any more, but the first few times riding in rain, I sang to myself "Singing in the rain" to calm my nerves... :ride:

[Oakie]

This morning just after I'd decided to pass a truck where two lanes merged to one it was "Well if you're going to pull into my lane at least pass the truck. Oh you vagina. You fucking vagina." (Polite I am you see.)

[misterO]

What do I say to myself?

"I Am A Driving GOD!"

This phrase is often followed closely by, "Oh, Shit! Fuck-Fuck-Fuck..."

[007XX]

This morning just after I'd decided to pass a truck where two lanes merged to one it was "Well if you're going to pull into my lane at least pass the truck. Oh you vagina. You fucking vagina." (Polite I am you see.)

We need to talk about upgrading your swear words' list :msn-wink:

(Vagina? Really???)

[Drew]

We need to talk about upgrading your swear words' list :msn-wink:

(Vagina? Really???)
Some cunts just don't get it.

[007XX]

Some cunts just don't get it.

Who you calling a cunt, Johnson?

[Drew]

Who you calling a cunt, Johnson?

Who you calling a Johnson, front bum?

[Oakie]

We need to talk about upgrading your swear words' list :msn-wink:

(Vagina? Really???)

I do try but I guess my mum bought me up to well.

[007XX]

Who you calling a Johnson, front bum?

That's rich coming from such a pussy.


I do try but I guess my mum bought me up to well.

She bought you? :blink:

[Tigadee]

She bought you? :blink:

Well! That explains a lot, don't you think? :eek:

[steve_t]

I do try but I guess my mum bought me up to well.



She bought you? :blink:

The kids these days tell me that the past tense of bring is brung. Also, bought and brought are interchangeable. What ever happened to the suggestion of allowing txt speak in exams (yes, even English exams)?

[007XX]

Well! That explains a lot, don't you think? :eek:

:laugh: oh that's harsh!


The kids these days tell me that the past tense of bring is brung. Also, bought and brought are interchangeable. What ever happened to the suggestion of allowing txt speak in exams (yes, even English exams)?

Wash thy mouth with soap!

It is bad enough I have to put up with it from so many of my friends on a daily basis. My son gets a right roasting if he attempts that one with me.

[steve_t]

Wash thy mouth with soap!

It is bad enough I have to put up with it from so many of my friends on a daily basis. My son gets a right roasting if he attempts that one with me.

I agree. Friends call me a grammar nazi. I'm especially enjoying that people who spell 'definitely' as 'definately' are having their iPhones autocorrect the word to 'defiantly' which changes the meaning completely :Pokey::clap: And yet they still don't realise what happened :facepalm:

[Subike]

they pretty dang defiantly getting their own way, definitely a change to the how we use language

[007XX]

I agree. Friends call me a grammar nazi. I'm especially enjoying that people who spell 'definitely' as 'definately' are having their iPhones autocorrect the word to 'defiantly' which changes the meaning completely :Pokey::clap: And yet they still don't realise what happened :facepalm:

Haha... I struggle with people who can't understand the difference between there, their and they're.

Does my head in proper like, that does! But I guess you either have your wires set that way or not.

And grammar nazis unite I say. Have you come across the BDGOTNZA on here yet? You'd get on real well with Master Hitcher.

[FJRider]

She bought you? :blink:

:psst: Paid a fee to re-home him ... :whistle:

[Oakie]

Oh no. The shame. I am a BDOTGNZA member and I made a gaffe such as that! Don't tell Mr Hitcher. I'll take myself off for a bit of self-flagellation now.
(Imagine getting a 'please improve' for using 'vagina' instead of 'c@nt' and then getting a roasting for 'bought' instead of 'brought'. Harsh!)

[Drew]

There is a fuckin rage inside me, waiting to take to a hospital with an automatic weapon. Because my children have to learn to speak Maori, while the English language we say we already speak, gets a good old fashioned ass fucking!

The Maori want their language and history preserved, fair enough, it is after all the history of all of our country. How about preserving the most common language on the planet too though?

[FJRider]

There is a fuckin rage inside me, waiting to take to a hospital with an automatic weapon. Because my children have to learn to speak Maori, while the English language we say we already speak, gets a good old fashioned ass fucking!

The Maori want their language and history preserved, fair enough, it is after all the history of all of our country. How about preserving the most common language on the planet too though?

Text speak Maori is just not the same as it is in english ... if you can call text speak english.

[007XX]

:psst: Paid a fee to re-home him ... :whistle:

But was it a worthy investment? ;)

[FJRider]

But was it a worthy investment? ;)

Probably already signed him up for Medical school. Who cares if that is not what he wants ... a doctor in the family might come in handy. :lol:

Or just put him on Trademe ... :devil2:

[theseekerfinds]

bought and brought are NOT interchangeable.. bought is from the word buy, brought is from the word bring..

me, I just sing or narrate my ride, at times I try to use the force to control drivers who look like thy want to pull out in front of me or can't decide if they want to move over or not..

I have found that head-banging when I sing certain songs does not help much when it comes to controlling my bike..

I am on Drew's side re the whole English language/Maori language thing..

[007XX]

Oh no. The shame. I am a BDOTGNZA member and I made a gaffe such as that! Don't tell Mr Hitcher. I'll take myself off for a bit of self-flagellation now.
(Imagine getting a 'please improve' for using 'vagina' instead of 'c@nt' and then getting a roasting for 'bought' instead of 'brought'. Harsh!)

But, but... That wasn't a roasting! Was it? I'm so confused

Shall I start calling you Silas now? :shifty:

[cc rider]

Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee... no bunps,no bumps, no bumps... Bugga :o


Gotta fart, gotta fart, gotta fart... no bumps, no bumps, no bumps... Bugga :shit:

[Oakie]

But, but... That wasn't a roasting! Was it? I'm so confused

Shall I start calling you Silas now? :shifty:
Roasting? Nah, slight pulling of the leg would be a more accurate description for sure! Just merry banter.

[FJRider]

Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee... no bunps,no bumps, no bumps... Bugga :o


Gotta fart, gotta fart, gotta fart... no bumps, no bumps, no bumps... Bugga :shit:

To save time doing all that ... I use the short version.



Oooop's ......... :whistle:

[Ocean1]

Oh no. The shame. I am a BDOTGNZA member and I made a gaffe such as that! Don't tell Mr Hitcher. I'll take myself off for a bit of self-flagellation now.
(Imagine getting a 'please improve' for using 'vagina' instead of 'c@nt' and then getting a roasting for 'bought' instead of 'brought'. Harsh!)

Not to mention "to" instead of "too".



Ah, bit late, eh?

[cc rider]

Does this bike make my arse look big...?No... though your butt does makes your bike look small :whistle:


... 'What would Katman say?'

"I have resumed treatment." :done:


Someone posted that they poke their tongue out and try and reach the helemt. I been trying that again with my new helmet.
Haha i'm gonna try licking my helmet now.
Or you could lick the outside of the visor to clean it like me... :bleh: What would Katman say?

"I have resumed treatment."

[cc rider]

To save time doing all that ... I use the short version.



Oooop's ......... :whistle:I'm a lady... we don't Oooops

:killingme
Hard to keep a straight face

[FJRider]

I'm a lady... we don't Oooops

:killingme
Hard to keep a straight face

As far as Ooop's go ... the waterproofs are great ... they channel the wet (and runny one's) out if you stand up. :shifty:

The lumpy one's however ... :blank:

[007XX]

As far as Ooop's go ... the waterproofs are great ... they channel the wet (and runny one's) out if you stand up. :shifty:

The lumpy one's however ... :blank:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_diaper.

[FJRider]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_diaper.

Thank you ... :lol: :cool: :(


Apparently .... I must spread ... :weep:





ps. wanna borrow my waterproof's ... I've bought a new set ... and a jar of HTFU pills (I hope they work)

[tickleMEelmo]

"OP is a phaggot"

[Subike]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_diaper.

should be a permanent fixture for that fella

[pratik8890]

I normally have a debate to my self about how the hell some of wankers got their license on the first place:
For examples: 1.Turn first and then indicate?

2.Pull over in front of you when your doing 100 k's on a motorway so u have to immediately brake to slow down, swerve or choose death. ( especially cars drivers, they think motorbikes are invisible for some retarded reason )

3. Or just singing a song if the weather is sunny or on a long ride..

[Grizzo]

thought it would be funny to hear the things you say/shout to yourself in your helmet when your out riding!

heres a few from me

"fukfukfukfukfukfuuuuuuuuuuuk!! Woo! made it!"

"shit, coppers!"

"oooofffffffff!! oww, thats gonna hurt tomorrow"

In slow, out fast.

[Drew]

I found something I say a lot in my helmet.

"Deano, get out of the fucking way"!

"Whitetrash, get out of the fucking way"!

[actungbaby]

thought it would be funny to hear the things you say/shout to yourself in your helmet when your out riding!

dear lord that woman looks nice

concentrate you moron (to myself)

hmm wonder how much the tank still got in it

[unstuck]

FUCK, I,m way too wasted to be riding.:Punk:
Fuck, hope thats not a shit.:Punk:
Fuck, It,s 2am and I still have my shades on.:Punk:

[cc rider]

"... new helmet is good for something" (hit on forehead by magpie RIP)


Don't like new helmet :( 8 hrs of riding hell

[awa355]

In town " Fuckin Asians"

[r6rchris]

Usually........ Yeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! :bleh:

[TheTengTheory]

Hey! I'm an asian....

But good point nevertheless...some of those drivers...shocking.

SURPRISE MUTHAFKER! :banana:

[Maha]

Yesterday I was saying ''the prick pumz that prick pumz that prick pumz that prick pumz that prick pumz''..ended up with alot of spit on the inside of my visor for some reason? :(

[Drew]

Just followed/led a Honda Jade from Otaki to Wellington. Thinking inside my cage, "this guy's speedo is broken, or he's a fuckin retard".

[Joemac]

Just followed/led a Honda Jade from Otaki to Wellington. Thinking inside my cage, "this guy's speedo is broken, or he's a fuckin retard".

Probably trying to avoid 'road user charges'

[Teflon]

Fuck, I forgot my knife

Step out of your car cunt, I'm going to fucking stab you

Fuck she's hot

Yeah, i'd fuck her

Cunt, I'm going to chop your fucking head off

Fuck, need another cone to kick it off again

[hornetakl]

Ludacris' MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY!

[Angel_of_Metal]

Most common phrase "fuck you wanker" or "how the fuck did you get a licence?"

Commuting is stressful sometimes.


+1 for this :brick:

[Dogboy900]

I tend to be polite whilst talking to myself (or those driving around me). Things like;

"You sir are a wanker"
"That was somewhat ambitious now wasn't it" (As I hit the brakes to avoid a car pulling out)
"You are indeed a penis sir, a car driving penis"
"I would rate your driving skills as rather poor my good man" Often accompanied by a shake of my head as I go past

And as on the occasion I got hit by a truck swerving into my lane in the Mt Vic Tunnel "AHHHHHH FUUUU......."

[Maha]

Seems there are some angry bikers around...:rolleyes: I just carry on in the accurate knowledge that I am the better road user.

[tri boy]

I say gday to Scotty (aka Zukin) at the start of every ride.
Helps me to relax and focus at the task at hand.
Miss you bro.:scooter:

[MIXONE]

"For Fuck's Sake" seems to be my current favourite.

[Deano]

I found something I say a lot in my helmet.

"Deano, get out of the fucking way"!

"Whitetrash, get out of the fucking way"!

Haha - and I find myself saying, Fuck Drew you muppet, how the fuck did you crash there ?

[russd7]

after my recent rip to nelson and back i did happen to say to my baby "you do still love me don't you" she sulked with me for a while when i bought the wing home and parked in the shed beside her