Metal Bonding.

[Motu]

This is a story from when I worked in the main workshop of a major hire company,I was employed to take this mans place.

John was a mechanic,and had an accident of some sort,maybe just a stroke...but anyway he suffered a mental disability and was in a home for the mentaly handicapped,undergoing rehabilitation.The workshop manager was a great guy,he was into bikes so we got along - he went often to see John at the rehab,and was told he was a bit of a problem.For rehab they had them doing some woodwork,nailing together little projects like we did as 12 yr olds,just trying to give them some motor dexterity skills.But when John was taken into the workshop he became sullen,and violent if they tried to help him at tasks.Wilkie was there on one of his ''bad'' days,and when he went over to comfort John and saw the dispair in his eyes the answer came as a blow to his heart - he gave him a 6in Cresent from his pocket and John clutched it like a frightend child to a stuffed toy.

Wilkie raced back to work - we used to take stationary motors off pedestrian rollers,concrete cutters and the like and just toss them into our own jumbo bin,bolting on new motors.He got a likely looking motor,a few spanners and screwdrivers and next day took them into the rehab centre and put them in front of John.Wilkie damn near broke down and cried as John snatched the tools off him and began tearing into the 8hp Briggs & Stratton as if his life depended on it.From then on John was first at the workshop door,so he could pull his motor apart and put it back together again,with a few jealous spectators.

[ManDownUnder]

Yeah - good call. I had a Step Father - and Enginner all his life - cut down by bloody Alzheimers.

Give him nuts and bolts and machines to work on - he was a much happier chap...

For those of us with those inclinations, it's hard to beat a day with tools in hand (not being crude for a change)

MDU

[vifferman]

John was a mechanic,and had an accident of some sort,maybe just a stroke...but anyway he suffered a mental disability and was in a home for the mentaly handicapped,undergoing rehabilitation.
That makes me sad.
I worked with Dennis for 8 years, and one day (when he was about the age I am now) he had a stroke. Completely fucked him over in a few minutes. He went from having a good job, to being a completely different person, paralysed down his right side. His wife of less than two years dragged him down to Wellington (where her family was) because she couldn't cope, and felt his family wasn't supportive enough. Then she ditched him.

It's really scary what happens to a person when something like an illness, injury or stroke hits their brain, and they go from being a capable and active member of society to ... not.
And we (in general) don't know about people like this, because they're tucked away in special homes, or head trauma wards, or whatever. There's a lot more of them than you think too...

[ManDownUnder]

And we (in general) don't know about people like this, because they're tucked away in special homes, or head trauma wards, or whatever. There's a lot more of them than you think too...

yup and the people that look after them are awesome (excluding that bitch on the under cover thing recently...)

No end of respect them I'll tell ya!
MDU

[texmo]

Does quality of life for these people become so bad they should be able to end there lives? My grand mother had Alzheimers for about 3.5 years in the end she didnt eat for a few weeks, its not pretty and the damage wasnt just to her but to my whole family it desimated my grandfather and father both of whom were very cloes to her.

[Motu]

One of my best friends (and I don't have many) has had Parkinsons for about 4 years,after a life time of bikes,he's not able to ride his Mach III anymore,or help leaners with their licences,as he possibly helped some on this site.

Another friend of mine had a blood clot thing at high school,he talked like he was drunk - very hard to get respect from others if you are like that.....he was lost of the rocks fishing at Muriwai,but he was a good fisherman,kinda sad to think about it....he thought he was sterile,but left behind a son.

[Pixie]

Does quality of life for these people become so bad they should be able to end there lives? My grand mother had Alzheimers for about 3.5 years in the end she didnt eat for a few weeks, its not pretty and the damage wasnt just to her but to my whole family it desimated my grandfather and father both of whom were very cloes to her.
Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

[texmo]

STFU.........

[Riff Raff]

yup and the people that look after them are awesome (excluding that bitch on the under cover thing recently...)

No end of respect them I'll tell ya!
MDU
I meet many people like this in my job, and am constantly amazed at the sacrifices people make to look after their loved ones. Interestingly I see very few mentally handicapped people being cared for by their parents - they tend to be in homes, but couples tend to stick together when one of them becomes ill. There's one couple I've been to quite regularly - he had a stroke, can't talk and is bedridden, he's over 6ft while she is a tiny wee thing. But every day she gets him out of bed with the aid of a hoist, changes his nappies, feeds him etc. She's done this for about 8 years now on her own, and yet you can see she obviously still loves him and she has the sweetest nature. It's always a struggle to get him out when he has to go to hospital, but I love going there because it restores my faith in humanity.

[ManDownUnder]

Old timers disease...

I used to know that joke but no longer find it funny - and with respect - this really isn't the thread for it. The guys in here are speaking from real, personal experience and believe me - when you've been there it's not funny at all. It's devastating.

Imagine someone you know and love with their memory wiped, and the incredible daily frustrations they go through. Not sure if they remember you, or not, not sure who they are, not sure what they're doing.

Then in their lucid moments they realise the pain they are inflicting on those around them, and the fear of losing their minds. At this point it is incurable and untreatable so there's no remorse until you die. And that could be years away...

You know you're losing everything - literally everything you know and love, there is nothing you can do, there is no future and you know it. I don't know anywhere else you'll see the kind of incredibly deep fear that appears in an Alzheimer sufferer's eyes from time to time.

It's also a very strange feeling of sadness and relief for those that love them when death finally comes. How can you be glad when your lifelong partner dies, and yet you are. That's a second shock some are not prepared for.

It's not the stuff of jokes (or maybe I'm just too close to it).

As Riff Raff says, the only thing good about it are the incredible examples of human kindness that come to light (sometimes).

Gotta admit I find epileptic jokes of similar appeal.

MDU

[ManDownUnder]

Does quality of life for these people become so bad they should be able to end there lives? My grand mother had Alzheimers for about 3.5 years in the end she didnt eat for a few weeks, its not pretty and the damage wasnt just to her but to my whole family it desimated my grandfather and father both of whom were very cloes to her.

I hear ya. Another aspect is that the decision to end their life would need to be made by someone else - a family member... usually their partner.

I have personal power of attorney over my mother as a result of this incident, and she has given very specific, detailed and legally enforceable instructions on her health care in the event of life prolonging treatments being required - simply to ensure I don't have to chose, and live with the consequences either way.

MDU

[Keystone19]

I find one of the truly sad things is that those people who do care for family members who suffer in this way spend endless hours fighting health and/or welfare agencies for support - financial, physical or emotional. We should work a lot harder on supporting the carers.

[Lou Girardin]

Apparently Ecstacy relieves the symptoms of Parkinsons.
It probably relieves the symptoms of many other things too. I wonder if Pharmac will put it on the subsidy list?

[WRT]

Apparently Ecstacy relieves the symptoms of Parkinsons.
It probably relieves the symptoms of many other things too. I wonder if Pharmac will put it on the subsidy list?

Also known to relieve the symptoms of normality . . .

Wonder how many drugs out there (illicit or not) have affects on things they have never been treated for? Such as asprin treating economy class syndrome?

[kerryg]

I used to know that joke but no longer find it funny - and with respect - this really isn't the thread for it. The guys in here are speaking from real, personal experience and believe me - when you've been there it's not funny at all. It's devastating.

Imagine someone you know and love with their memory wiped, and the incredible daily frustrations they go through. Not sure if they remember you, or not, not sure who they are, not sure what they're doing.

Then in their lucid moments they realise the pain they are inflicting on those around them, and the fear of losing their minds. At this point it is incurable and untreatable so there's no remorse until you die. And that could be years away...

You know you're losing everything - literally everything you know and love, there is nothing you can do, there is no future and you know it. I don't know anywhere else you'll see the kind of incredibly deep fear that appears in an Alzheimer sufferer's eyes from time to time.

It's also a very strange feeling of sadness and relief for those that love them when death finally comes. How can you be glad when your lifelong partner dies, and yet you are. That's a second shock some are not prepared for.

It's not the stuff of jokes (or maybe I'm just too close to it).

As Riff Raff says, the only thing good about it are the incredible examples of human kindness that come to light (sometimes).

Gotta admit I find epileptic jokes of similar appeal.

MDU


Well said MDU. Someone close to me has Alzheimers, and it's not pretty. It was almost comical before we knew what was going on, when she was living a normal independent life. Once I called in to see her, wearing my heavy motorcycle gear, big boots, helmet under my arm. Had a cup of tea and a chat and she commented on how "fashionable" I looked. I was puzzled. Fashionable didn't seem quite the right word.When I left and walked out to my bike she was quite startled and said " did you come on a motorbike??". I thought, hello, there's something not quite right here :no: .The thing which I disturbed me most in its next stage, when she first went into care, was that she would have periods of clarity, during which (the doctor's said) she knew known, to some extent, what was happening to her, where she was, who we were, what she was losing. I reckon that we be worse than awful. The rest of the time she was just, kind of, absent. Now she's absent all the time so far I can tell. But then you don't really know.

There's a poem by Philip Larkin called "The Old Fools" which makes me think of it. Me next maybe??..."we shall find out".

[ManDownUnder]

Someone close to me has Alzheimers, and it's not pretty.

The one thing I'd suggest (it worked for my Step father) is a single list that stays on the fridge. It's always there, and it's always got the things "to do" on it.

It helps and restores a little dignity for a while...

Good luck with it...

[Flyingpony]

I've had close and distant family members come down with some of the illnesses mentioned in this thread, and some other illnesses too.

Each illness on their own or combined with others, places a huge financial, physical and emotional toll on family members and to a lesser degree friends.

It's very mixed emotions when they die. We're sad they're gone but we're also happy that they are. They're no longer suffering and family/friends have had some weight removed from their shoulders.

Don't take this the wrong way, once you've experienced something, you'll understand where I'm coming from.

[Motu]

When I lived on Waiheke Island,not far from our workshop was a home for metho's,and some would wander the area.One hung around the garge and we called him 2/6,because he'd flip into pounds shilling and pence mid sentence.He was a bit of a klepto,and once he stole a driveshaft,another time a complete exhaust system from cars I was working on out in the yard,he would come in and try to sell us old Milo tins for $2,sometimes he'd ask for empty BicFlics and want to give us $2 for them....or 2/6 some days.

What interested me about him was that he was obviously an engineer at some more coherant point in his life - he knew I rode bikes and sometimes he'd show me a worn hand drawn picture of a bike he'd designed yesterday...''It's 55mm by 55mm,125cc,27 deg rake and has a 4.00 x 18 on the rear Curtis Wright cyls were hard to get in the Pacific would you like this tin to keep your parts in you will find it very usefull'' His brain would just flip from one point in his life to the next without pause.Sometimes we'd hand him some part off the bench and you could see the parthways in his brain slip from track to track like an old rotary telephone exchange...tick,tick,tick - ''bevel hypoid pinion,9 teeth,most likely 3.57:1 ratio do you have a lighter I can refill them'' Sad,damaged by a disease,but secondary damage really because it was the meths that burnt his brain.

[Wolf]

Both my grandparents on my mother's side got Alzheimer's.

Grandad was an avid reader of anything, instilled in our entire family a love of books and "knowledge for knowledge's sake", taught mum (first born) to do carpentry (a great carpenter in his day, he even turned his hand to making violins), hunt, box (as in "fisticuffs"), fish and many other things. I remember him as a man with an avid interest in science and the world around him. A carpenter, award-winning gardener, bantam-weight boxer, avid motorcyclist, hunter and fisherman among other things. He lived through two World Wars and the Great Depression (and only had one week off work during that time which he took voluntarily in order to service his motorbike so he would have reliable transport for his next job), he saw Haley's Comet when the Earth passed through its tail and vowed to live to see it again (he did, and thought it was a dud).

I also remember him unable to remember anyone's names and getting confused as to who we were or what he was doing.

Grandma was a great singer (was even recorded, mum had the old 78rpm record), as devoutly Christian as Grandad was convinced of evolution, very supportive of her local church and the church choir. She travelled the country with Grandad with the entire family in tow as they moved to where there was work.

They had to be separated in later years as she became more senile - she started getting paranoid that Grandad had died and would wake him up constantly during the night, frightened by the silence when he slept.

There are many jokes about Alzheimer's and senile decay of various types - but it's not a lot of fun when it is your loved ones - especially when you remember how lively their minds once were and how talented they were.

Mum and Dad had it better - mum died of a heart attack before emphysema could claim her - still in possession of her mental faculties - and dad was teaching his trade (upholstery) to his students when his aorta burst. As my nephew put it: "that's the way to go: have breakfast, miss lunch and not be around for dinner." I can't say he's wrong about that. At least dad was able to function properly right up to the end.

[TonyB]

........Wilkie was there on one of his ''bad'' days,and when he went over to comfort John and saw the dispair in his eyes the answer came as a blow to his heart - he gave him a 6in Cresent from his pocket and John clutched it like a frightend child to a stuffed toy.

......Wilkie damn near broke down and cried as John snatched the tools off him and began tearing into the 8hp Briggs & Stratton as if his life depended on it.From then on John was first at the workshop door,so he could pull his motor apart and put it back together again,with a few jealous spectators.
Damit Motu! I've got a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat after reading that. I can't imagine what it must be like someone like John- trapped in a malfunctioning body. The mind is still fine, but the body refuses.... and you can't even talk about it... eveyone treats you like you're retarded but your concious self is fine. Hell on earth.

[Motu]

Yeah....my friend with Parkinsons knows he's going to have a good day if he can brush his teeth - he puts toothpaste on the brush,lifts it to his mouth....and stands in front of the mirror in dispare as he doesn't know how to make the next bit happen.I had a glimps of how it feels when I tore the ligament in my forearm in 2000,I could lift the brush to my mouth,but not brush....lift the kettle,but not pour into my coffee cup.

[Beemer]

My father's cancer spread to his brain and he died a not particularly pleasant death in 2001, after months of suffering. During his last year or two he had similar symptoms to Alzheimers - he would stare at us vacantly and not seem to be with us at all, and he also became very aggressive. Thankfully the aggression was not physical (although he did a great line in slamming doors!), but the abuse he could hurl would cut to the bone. He became very irrational and would cry at the slightest hint of emotion on tv. Towards the end he just drifted off and I really don't even know if he knew we were with him or not.

It was particularly hard for me to see him like this because he was the typical kiwi bloke - left school at 14 to become a shepherd on a sheep station near Gisborne, moved to Wellington and was a tram driver, then had a variety of jobs before moving into sales, where he worked for about 30 years. We (Mum and us four kids) moved around a bit and ended up in Whakatane for about 16 years. They bought a bookshop and had that for six years before returning to Wellington to retire.

Dad and I were the wordsmiths in the family - the only two who could spell and who knew the right word to use! He loved reading my articles and we used to see who could get the highest score on the Pays to Enrich Your Word Power tests in the Readers Digest. When he became ill, he stopped reading because he couldn't concentrate for long enough for it all to make sense.

The cruelest diseases are those that take away someone's mind - their spirit, really. I only hope when my turn comes, I go quickly and painlessly, and don't end up suffering and creating anguish for my family.

[texmo]

Bugger that, the worst part is the way society as a whole looks at them or treats them so they end up being couped inside all day getting depressed.

[Eurygnomes]

Okay...so now I'm tearing up too (that's teering, not tareing).

I'm very fortunate to not have had any experience with wasting disorders (either of the mind, or of the muscle). They all sound the most dreadful conditions, and are a reason I'm firmly entrenched in the "pro-euthanasia" side of that particular debate. I know what I'd want (she says, from her marvellously narrow and still indestructible 28yr old point of view).

My grandfather died of stomach cancer. Seeing him waste away from the hulk of a bloke he had been was hard - and we were seeing it from a great distance. Even harder to deal with was the knowledge that his wife and (other) children (than my father) decided to condemn him to his death by not TELLING him that he had the option of having surgery to remove the growth. The reason they didn't do it/tell him? Because there was a smalll chance he'd die on the table. However, the surgeons wanted to do it, and the family knew that Granddad would want to go ahead and take his chances, but his crazy (now senile, poor thing) wife didn't want to risk it.

Now THAT was sad. And is the stuff that siblings lose touch over also.

[pete376403]

Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day
This is not the right thread for that line.

[Dadpole]

Originally Posted by Pixie
Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

:yes: Liked it myself. Before the rocks start bouncing off my head; my mother had it and spent the last two years of her life in a "secure" home. Died just before last Xmas, and for her last six months did not know who I was. I would tell her and 30 seconds later she would ask me who I was.

Jokes (especially good ones) help to cope with that sort of thing

[ManDownUnder]

Originally Posted by Pixie
Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

:yes: Liked it myself. Before the rocks start bouncing off my head; my mother had it and spent the last two years of her life in a "secure" home. Died just before last Xmas, and for her last six months did not know who I was. I would tell her and 30 seconds later she would ask me who I was.

Jokes (especially good ones) help to cope with that sort of thing

Sounds like you made it through a lot better than most. Well done.

I think the joke posted made flies in the face of the tone and content of ther original and subsequent posts however.

No bad bling for it, but I think the incredible amount of pain that's out there is something to take into consideration before letting rip with one liners. It seems to have stepped on a number of toes - mine included.

MDU