Ever stayed calm while crapping yourself?

[superjackal]

Ok, so I turn off of the road from Mt Vic tunnel in Wellington and head up the hill towards Newtown. Just before the roundabout I hear something in my helmet. I look down at my visor.... WASP!!! IN! MY! HELMET! As a child, a friend and I were each stung 10 times by an angry wasp, so my atavistic fear is in overdrive. Note, when you're riding a motorcycle and a wasp is in your helmet, it's important not to panic.

I pulled onto the footpath - added complication, I'm on a steep gradient, so have to sort the bike out first. About 100 things went through my head, I sorted the bike, undid the helmet clip and took my helmet off so fast I threw it about 10 feet.

Unstung. Result!!!!

The whole episode was about 20 seconds long but felt like 10 minutes. A couple of Chinese kids thought it was very funny.

What are the odds of a wasp flying into a baby-pea-sized-hole in your helmet???? Not as high as you'd think....

[clonak]

I disturbed a wasp nest doing some gardening in the front garden, I swear there was 10 - 15 of the suckers chasing me up the road as I was running arms flinging about screaming like a girl. My flatmates were on the deck pissing them selfs laughing.

Keeping calm in a situation like that though, takes alot of self controll. I once saw a girl jump out of a moving car because there was a spider. :facepalm: The driver stopped the car in the midle of the road and jumped out too.

[Asher]

One of my mates grew up in ozzy, his dad had a large spider drop onto his lap from his sun visor while driving, he went off the road and through a fence.
Apparently it happens quite often.

[slofox]

Ok, so I turn off of the road from Mt Vic tunnel in Wellington and head up the hill towards Newtown. Just before the roundabout I hear something in my helmet. I look down at my visor.... WASP!!! IN! MY! HELMET! As a child, a friend and I were each stung 10 times by an angry wasp, so my atavistic fear is in overdrive. Note, when you're riding a motorcycle and a wasp is in your helmet, it's important not to panic.

I pulled onto the footpath - added complication, I'm on a steep gradient, so have to sort the bike out first. About 100 things went through my head, I sorted the bike, undid the helmet clip and took my helmet off so fast I threw it about 10 feet.

Unstung. Result!!!!

The whole episode was about 20 seconds long but felt like 10 minutes. A couple of Chinese kids thought it was very funny.

What are the odds of a wasp flying into a baby-pea-sized-hole in your helmet???? Not as high as you'd think....


Back in the days of open face helmets, I got a wasp stuck between my forehead and the helmet.

Fastest stop and removal of helmet ever - up until your episode anyway.

No stings either.

[george formby]

When summit like this happens, bees in your bonnet. Do Not Open Your Mouth!
Crossing you eyes to focus on the bug & opening your mouth to inhale sharply makes things far worse... I know this to be true.

[clonak]

One of my mates grew up in ozzy, his dad had a large spider drop onto his lap from his sun visor while driving, he went off the road and through a fence.
Apparently it happens quite often.

That reminds me of the time I was following my brother in his van, traveling along nicely, then all of a sudden his van starts swerving all over the place, like a maniac. I thought "What the hell is going on, is he alright" then he pulls over to the side of the road, and leaps out of his van, before I even have a chance to stop, screaming "a fucking mouse just dropped out of my roof". we spent the next 15-20 minutes pulling his van apart on the side of the road trying to find the sucker, Never did. Moral of the story, never leave your van full of rubbish for 3 weeks, take it to the tip straight away.

[Maha]

Not a wasp situation but, a front wheel wash going downhill with a pillion onboard...yikes!
Relax is the key to a situation of which you speak, or any 'holy crap' situation you may find yourself in on the road.

[superjackal]

I disturbed a wasp nest doing some gardening in the front garden, I swear there was 10 - 15 of the suckers chasing me up the road as I was running arms flinging about screaming like a girl. My flatmates were on the deck pissing them selfs laughing.

Keeping calm in a situation like that though, takes alot of self controll. I once saw a girl jump out of a moving car because there was a spider. :facepalm: The driver stopped the car in the midle of the road and jumped out too.

Heh heh. That reminds me of my time in Venezuela. I took a piss one morning, quite happy, then watched as a scorpion climbed out of the floor drain and headed straight for my left foot.

Ever taken a piss standing on one leg while a scorpion makes "a move"?

Come to think of it I have a lot of creepy crawly stories from time in Australia and South America....

[sinfull]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

[bluninja]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !
OR di it real quick with a panicked expression ...still works :)

[Deano]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

Noice ! The only time I had a wasp in my helmet, the visor was already up. I jammed my left hand into the inside of the helmet and squashed the fucker before he stung me.

Wish I'd thought of doing your trick though !

[Karl08]

How's the helmet, after it's wee journey?

[george formby]

Not a wasp situation but, a front wheel wash going downhill with a pillion onboard...yikes!
Relax is the key to a situation of which you speak, or any 'holy crap' situation you may find yourself in on the road.

Amazing how quick the brain goes from yikes to anti falling off mode.

[McFatty1000]

I always figure, if you're calm when everything turns to crap, if its gonna hurt, it'll hurt less when you're not tensed up.

Having said that, easier said than done...

[dinosaur]

doing the Coro loop, just had lunch in Coromandel town and headed over the hill, on the way down the wicked windies, feeling the chicken strips, bing a bee pops into my helmet - fuck!

Visor got opened immediately, the wind that came in the helmet from opening the visor just pressed the damn bee against the corner of my helmet and temple, sting sting sting - little shit, two more hard out corners before I could stop
Helmet off - offending bug tortured and murdered. Helmet on and switch into catch up mode so I don't get too far behind and seem like a soft cock

[bluninja]

Helmet on and switch into catch up mode so I don't get too far behind and seem like a soft cock

Only a soft cock would have done what you did :eek: A real biker would have been so zoned in on riding he wouldn't have even noticed the bee or the stinging until the ride was over :bleh:

[superjackal]

Even at 50 k , you can calmly open your visor and turn ya head 90 degrees and it will get sucked out !

That reminds me of Pierce “Quiff” Brosnan, pouting, calmly dispatching 50 bad guys with a bazooka, drinking a Martini, snogging 3 birds, while surfing a tsunami, in a tuxedo.

I can say from experience, of the 100 things that popped into my brain, opening the visor was not one of them. I didn’t want to disturb the little f**ker one bit. I was only doing about 30kms. Going uphill. With a wasp in my helmet. All the time remembering how bloody painful wasp stings are to the face and my last “off” on the bike.

[sinfull]

That reminds me of Pierce “Quiff” Brosnan, pouting, calmly dispatching 50 bad guys with a bazooka, drinking a Martini, snogging 3 birds, while surfing a tsunami, in a tuxedo.

I can say from experience, of the 100 things that popped into my brain, opening the visor was not one of them. I didn’t want to disturb the little f**ker one bit. I was only doing about 30kms. Going uphill. With a wasp in my helmet. All the time remembering how bloody painful wasp stings are to the face and my last “off” on the bike.

It's like most situations you don't really want to be in ! You give the ONE who's most likely gonna hurt ya an out and they'll 90% of the time, take it anyway !

[GTRMAN]

Riding up the wainui hill, wasp flies in my open visor. Does an appreciable impression of a sewing machine across my face. Managed to get to the top and pull over before having a little freak out.

[superjackal]

How's the helmet, after it's wee journey?

It landed on a bush, got a few scratches, but otherwise didn't take much of a hit. Still wearing it...

[iranana]

Was happily hooning down the road the other day when some big ass bug smashed right into my eye and it might have stung my bottom eyelid - hurt like hell and I very hastily (and haphazardly) jammed on my brakes and frantically went about trying get bits of bug out of my eye. Rode to my destination with one eye (not good for the depth perception) and by the time I got there my bung eye had puffed up quite impressively. Don't know what it was, but the goop it left on my face smelt like lemons.

[Grashopper]

Argh, I know how you feel. Last Sunday, just coming from HD I was coming down the Waikato Expressway at about 100k, suddenly there is a wasp or bee inside my visor. Was trying hard not to panic. Problem there is that it is not exactly a safe road to stop (might even be illegal, but what do I know, we don't have big roads in Taupo :)) So I had to wait for the next exit while trying hard not to go cross-eyed too much as (thankfully) the stupid critter clings to the inside of my visor directly in front of my eyes and stays there. A bit distracting but we made it to a stop safely. Well safe for me, the critter might not have been that lucky.

[Ender EnZed]

Opening the visor is all I've needed to do to get rid of all the various insects that can find their way inside a helmet.

[nerrrd]

Same thing happened to me on the way back from Taranaki, freaked me out initially but the visor thing worked for me too, once I managed to get them both open. Just glad I was on a straight stretch of road at the time. Was too big to be a stingy insect though - maybe a blowfly?

[hellokitty]

I have had wasps/bees in my helmet more times that I can remember. Normally flipping the visor up will suck them out.


Only a soft cock would have done what you did :eek: A real biker would have been so zoned in on riding he wouldn't have even noticed the bee or the stinging until the ride was over :bleh:

I got stung on SH16 on my arm, and it was 5 minutes before I could safely pull over to remove the sting. By this time, my arm was going numb, with sharp stabbing pains as well! Took 2 weeks for the bruise that covered my forearm to go. I still have the scar from where the stinger was embedded in my arm. I don't know how a bee got up my sleeve through the tiny gap.

[bluninja]

I got stung on SH16 on my arm, and it was 5 minutes before I could safely pull over to remove the sting. By this time, my arm was going numb, with sharp stabbing pains as well! Took 2 weeks for the bruise that covered my forearm to go. I still have the scar from where the stinger was embedded in my arm. I don't know how a bee got up my sleeve through the tiny gap.

You're lucky it didn't crawl any further then .

[fyrgem]

Ok, so I turn off of the road from Mt Vic tunnel in Wellington and head up the hill towards Newtown. Just before the roundabout I hear something in my helmet. I look down at my visor.... WASP!!! IN! MY! HELMET! As a child, a friend and I were each stung 10 times by an angry wasp, so my atavistic fear is in overdrive. Note, when you're riding a motorcycle and a wasp is in your helmet, it's important not to panic.

I pulled onto the footpath - added complication, I'm on a steep gradient, so have to sort the bike out first. About 100 things went through my head, I sorted the bike, undid the helmet clip and took my helmet off so fast I threw it about 10 feet

Hahaha been there, done that. I'm shiz scared of wasps.
Lil bugger got in my helmet, felt all the blood drain from my face.
The bus driver wasnt as impressed about my emergency stop near the bus stop. :p

[superjackal]

Hahaha been there, done that. I'm shiz scared of wasps.
Lil bugger got in my helmet, felt all the blood drain from my face.
The bus driver wasnt as impressed about my emergency stop near the bus stop. :p

I'm not certain but pretty sure "angry insects in your helmet" isn't in any of the glossy brochures...

[fyrgem]

I'm not certain but pretty sure "angry insects in your helmet" isn't in any of the glossy brochures...

I think most could name a few things they left out of the brochure, like tank slap, wet paint and those in cages not even looking for us. But hey, the pros outweigh the cons, in the overall picture :niceone: otherwise we wouldn't be doing it :)

[Paul in NZ]

Staying calm while crapping yourself? Its called shock!

Our mailbox is a very nice wooden affair made from leftover bits of the house so its all matchy matchy. Every spring the local birds all think - "sweet - nesting box!" and all the mail gets covered in bits of potential nest... Its a real PIA and leaves a bit of detrius laying about... Later - the local Weta population all seem to think - "Sweet - LOVE SHACK" and move in...

If one is in the habit of heading off to the gym and collecting the mail on the way out the drive - one can get quite a nasty surprise when the stack of flyers from The Warehouse and Mitre 10 plus bills etc also contain copulating Wetas... (at least thats what I think they are doing). Especially when you are wearing a singlet and shorts and it drops in your lap and you have a seat belt on....

Fucking things seem to have a sense of humour at any rate