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Mom
26th February 2013, 19:48
I will start...

From a female friend of mine...


Yeah but looking hot at a party full of gay men is as much use as being a piece of prime scotch fillet in a restaurant full of vegetarians!


Feel free to lift them from where ever...

Bling for best

Disco Dan
26th February 2013, 19:52
Fairy godmother said I could either have a long memory or a long penis... but I can't remember which one I chose... I do have a sore back though....

Maha
26th February 2013, 20:32
''A person can be nice without being gay you know.'' :brick:

Edbear
26th February 2013, 20:47
I only know enough to know I don't know enough of what I need to know enough of... :crazy:

avgas
26th February 2013, 21:04
Fairy godmother said I could either have a long memory or a long penis... but I can't remember which one I chose... I do have a sore back though....
big boobs.......

Disco Dan
26th February 2013, 21:08
"Wheelies are neither big nor clever"

cc rider
26th February 2013, 23:29
"Fake it till you make it"

DMNTD
27th February 2013, 05:30
"Don't confuse my kindness for weakness"

nadroj
27th February 2013, 06:05
Too high off the ground to eat grass!

Drew
27th February 2013, 06:11
"Wheelies are neither big nor clever"

And boozers are losers.

Drew
27th February 2013, 06:13
It's made round to go round, and it's...
Too high off the ground to eat grass!

Maha
27th February 2013, 06:22
I only know enough to know I don't know enough of what I need to know enough of... :crazy:

Reminds me of a famous Bruce Beetham quote ''Well ya know ya never know ya know''.

Goblin
27th February 2013, 06:24
It's made round to go round, and it's...

No it's made flat to stack.

c4.
27th February 2013, 06:24
If you don't know where you're going, then you're going nowhere.

wysper
27th February 2013, 06:29
Stupid hurts.

martybabe
27th February 2013, 07:22
Beauty fades, stupid is forever.

All seagulls are twats (old lady on Beach)

_Shrek_
27th February 2013, 07:45
If you don't know where you're going, then you're going nowhere.

"then you're on the road to nowhere"

bluninja
27th February 2013, 08:08
No matter where you go, there you are.

Edbear
27th February 2013, 09:39
Are we there yet..?

superjackal
27th February 2013, 09:45
"Good luck, Mr Gorsky!"

cc rider
27th February 2013, 09:47
From former receptionist at work

"Aren't computers amazing, they are so smart" :blink:

bluninja
27th February 2013, 09:53
“You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’”
(George Bernard Shaw)

Swoop
27th February 2013, 11:32
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. Simon Cameron (1799 - 1889)

Scuba_Steve
27th February 2013, 11:37
"I have lost many things in my life, but of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

Maha
27th February 2013, 13:12
Guess who don't sue....

''you're a cock. and trust me, coming from me, that really means something''

MIXONE
27th February 2013, 13:55
I taught him everything I know and still he knows nothing.

Road kill
27th February 2013, 17:17
Fuck you you fucking fuck.

The nice old lady I cut off while driving my truck through Waiuku this afternoon.

I just love people that try to close the gap,,,,look the other way everytime:lol:

Big Dave
27th February 2013, 17:25
"I don't say that any more. Now I say 'In 15 minutes everyone will be famous.'" - Warhol, A.

Genestho
27th February 2013, 17:28
As a relentless quote junkie - I share a couple of my latest favourites

Find your bliss and your joy, know that you are a white light disco ball with no ceilings and no limitations. :clap:
— Kris Carr

And,

“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (either Dr Suess or Bernard Baruch)

FJRider
27th February 2013, 17:29
Experience is something you don't get ... until right after you need it ...

MD
27th February 2013, 17:43
Tame Iti on tonights TV News wins the most stupid prize when replying about whether he will use firearms again after his release from prison
"of course I will continue to use firearms. They're part of our culture" Can't wait to see that on a Tui bill board.

Big Dave
27th February 2013, 17:45
As a relentless quote junkie

'I wish I'd said that.'
'Don't worry Oscar, you will.'
- Python, M.

'A witty saying proves nothing.' - Voltaire.

'Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.' - Marx, G.


'I don't get no respect' - Dangerfield, R.


Great. You've started the Robin Williams part of my brain.

Genestho
27th February 2013, 18:40
Great. You've started the Robin Williams part of my brain.
OOO!! Tick tick tick whirrrrrr, kathunk

:D :banana: You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

OO and two special for you, BD!

"Music is a moral law.
It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, and life to everything."
— Plato

"Buy the ticket, take the ride" :blip:
― Hunter S. Thompson

Maha
27th February 2013, 19:05
On TV last night....

'' this how they are dealing with the death of thier tragic son''....:Oops:

Ocean1
27th February 2013, 19:19
“May you live all the days of your life.” — Jonathan Swift

KiWiP
27th February 2013, 19:55
"He's a really neat dude..."

"Yes but there always comes a time when you just want to tell him to just fuck off"

Overheard one kid at school telling his mate about another and the response.

I was giggling too much to reprimand him.

Woodman
27th February 2013, 20:48
Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue.

Big Dave
27th February 2013, 22:20
'All tip - no iceberg.' - Keating, P.

Daffyd
27th February 2013, 22:30
The worst thing about misplacing your glasses is that you can't start looking for them until you find them.

cc rider
28th February 2013, 00:37
Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue & some days you just feel like shitSort-ted :Punk:

FJRider
28th February 2013, 06:14
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=279156&d=1361956810

Genestho
28th February 2013, 07:49
Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue.

Statue, Bro?:killingme hehehee

Sorrrry, had to! :D

haydes55
28th February 2013, 11:23
Me "where is the manhole to the roof?"
5 year old son "why is it called a manhole? Why isn't it called a woman hole?"
:whistle:

slofox
28th February 2013, 11:55
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened."
Winston Churchill

Big Dave
28th February 2013, 16:06
There are two I retain on call from the hundreds of unattributed desktop calendar quotes I've ingested.

'The man in the world who is richest is the one with the most money.'

'Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.'


My favourite quote as applicable to my business is:

'Designers seldom make good advertising men. They get so caught up in the beauty of the picture they forget that goods must be sold.' - Ogilvy, D.

I also like 'Make your thinking funny. The best ideas come from comedy'. - Ogilvy, D.

I always say comma and full stop in the spoken quote too. It's good to have traits.

MisterD
28th February 2013, 16:57
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo DaVinci

Mention the Lord of the Rings just once more, and I'll more than likely kill you - Half Man Half Biscuit

mashman
28th February 2013, 17:19
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

_Shrek_
28th February 2013, 19:06
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

C. S. Lewis

oldrider
1st March 2013, 09:26
I always tried to keep an open mind ... until my brain fell out! :eek5:

Disco Dan
1st March 2013, 14:09
"I'll pay you back" - Skidmark.

Mom
1st March 2013, 19:34
Call me ... I will come up and lick you clean! *annon* :love:

mashman
1st March 2013, 19:39
Call me ... I will come up and lick you clean! *annon* :love:

You sure that was meant as a compliment? :shifty:

Mom
1st March 2013, 19:42
You sure that was meant as a compliment? :shifty:

Certainly was :clap:

mashman
1st March 2013, 19:52
Certainly was :clap:

In which case, can I come and lick you dirty :drool:

FJRider
1st March 2013, 20:36
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=279150&d=1361956798

Laava
1st March 2013, 21:32
There is no "u" in team

Drew
2nd March 2013, 08:00
There are 'u r' in, 'a fuckin wanker'.

_Shrek_
2nd March 2013, 08:49
There is no "u" in team

but there is a "m & e" :corn:

sugilite
2nd March 2013, 09:56
"Success is a matter of luck, just ask any loser"

Maha
5th March 2013, 14:48
Always loved this one from Finn....

''Im going to report your post as abusive you pimpled faced arse-fuck''.

curly
6th March 2013, 20:32
One fresh from today


Why do you bother to put just yes when you dont even have a answer worth anyone's time.
Jesus, i was thinking this was a helpful community.

Swoop
8th March 2013, 13:18
Quote of the day for Friday:


The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.
John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)

caspernz
9th March 2013, 20:26
Some days you get it, and some days you get got.

When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Always drink upstream from your cattle.

(Toby Keith - Get Got)

Ocean1
9th March 2013, 21:08
Son, never buy anything with a handle on it.


Not saying.

St_Gabriel
13th March 2013, 20:30
The problem with quotes from the internet is that their veracity is always neigh impossible to determine.

Abraham Lincoln

Tigadee
14th March 2013, 08:06
He who hesitates has lost the parking space...

Rubba-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Amen.

HenryDorsetCase
14th March 2013, 08:46
It's not the side effects of the cocaine
I'm thinking that it must be love.

- D Bowie. (8 January 1947 - )

mashman
14th March 2013, 21:06
It's not drugs that are the problem, it's alcohol that's the problem. (Cop of TV working in Alaska)

Erelyes
15th March 2013, 10:11
Rubba-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Amen.

2, 4, 6, 8, Grub's up, don't wait.
9, 10, Dig In.

I love Churchill ones...

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I shall not put.

Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”

Scuba_Steve
15th March 2013, 10:20
Science is but an organized system of ignorance - Theodore Gottleib (AKA Brother Theodore)

swtfa
15th March 2013, 12:02
"Never regret something that once made you smile" Amber Deckers.

Smifffy
15th March 2013, 12:15
If it's got tits or tyres, it will eventually give you trouble.

My latest fave is this one:

279996

Dean
15th March 2013, 12:41
'You got alota teeth for a smart cunt.

slofox
20th March 2013, 17:29
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart


"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
-- Robin Williams


"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
-- Roseanne