You know you're a biker on tour when...

[Big Dave]

.....you can smell your own B.O.

.....your socks are wet before you put them on.

..... ?

[Maha]

.....when you hear the words ''honey did you pack the conditioner''?

...I was sure the puncture repair kit was under the seat.

[haydes55]

... you have a smile on your face :clap:


Even though your arse hurts...

[Usarka]

...you have to force yourself to stop and look at the scenery.

[Flip]

......work is pissed off with you for not being contactable and you don't care.

[Maha]

...when after 637 kms the receptionist says ''sorry, you were booked in last weekend''.

[Crasherfromwayback]

...When you're on the wrong side of the road and you're meant to be.

[Laava]

...the cafe owner in ballarat says your missus sounds like she is straight out of the bush!

[Genestho]

Damp thermals (or undies) from the mornings "soak and then squeeze dry" mission, flapping from under a tie down off the back, aka the mini mobile clothesline!

The disposable raincoat is in shreds within half an hour....:pinch:

[Mental Trousers]

.... you're pulling receipts out of your wallet cos you left the bog roll at the last stop.

[Virago]

...you're actually bored with cafe food.

[Big Dave]

...you're actually bored with cafe food.

Time out.

I laugh much - at all of dis.

But I think I could subsist on Toasted ham and cheese for several years.

Time in.

[Laava]

....people ask you where you're from and you have trouble understanding one another, and you're still in NZ!

[flyingcrocodile46]

You can smell the odour of road kill on every road and the smell becomes stronger as you slow down then fades again as you take your helmet off.

[MD]

..words like timetable, schedule, plans and appointments no longer have any meaning to you.

[jim.cox]

...you turn straight round and re-ride that last bit of road 'cos the twisties were just SO good

[Oakie]

... you have a smile on your face ... even though your arse hurts...

(so touring can be like happily receiving bum-sex?)

[Usarka]

...the cafe owner in ballarat says your missus sounds like she is straight out of the bush!

....when your missus starts to smell like she's straight out of the bush...

[tri boy]

Lubing chains while yawning and scratching your balls is second nature.

[Swoop]

One of the few things of importance in life, is looking for a petrol station.:pinch:

[munster]

- when you never take a main road yet never a shortcut either

[Shadowjack]

...you realise that it possibly isn't just a passing shower.

[Bassmatt]

... you have a smile on your face :clap:


Even though your arse hurts...
When you get to your destination all you can do is lie on the bed......face down

[swbarnett]

... you have a smile on your face


Even though your arse hurts...
When you get to your destination all you can do is lie on the bed......face down
So, does the fact that I can do 1200km in a day and my arse feels fine mean I wasn't on tour?

Best bike seat I've ever had...

[Big Dave]

..... mean I wasn't on tour?.

No - it means you didn't understand the question.

[idb]

...you're wearing leather pants in public...

[MIXONE]

So, does the fact that I can do 1200km in a day and my arse feels fine mean I wasn't on tour?

Best bike seat I've ever had...

I so miss the seat on my old K75.After a couple of hundred k's on the duck I start asking myself "Are we there yet?".

[Banditbandit]

... you're eating petrol station pies for three meals a day ...

.. you're wondering whether your bladder will hold out to the next petrol stop ...

... even BP Connect coffee tastes good ...

[jim.cox]

... you're eating petrol station pies for three meals a day ...

.. you're wondering whether your bladder will hold out to the next petrol stop ...

... even BP Connect coffee tastes good ...

I reccon the BP pies aren't too bad

In fact their mince & cheese is pretty good

Nearly as good as a Jimmy's of Roxburgh

[Mooch]

you have no problem turning socks and undies inside out as the next washing stop isn't for another 4 days.

you stop turning socks and undies inside out as your beyond carring ........ it can wait another 4 days

checking tyres becomes an obsesson ..... 2000 km to the next bikeshop

the 1000 yard stare becomes the normal facial expression

you start to forget to put you feet down when coming to a stop

the end of day beer becomes on of lifes greatest pleasures and feels well deserved

[Oakie]

You keep singing loudly to the MP3 player plugged into your ears ... even though you are now in a town stopped at a pedestrian crossing and unaware why more people than usual look at you as they walk over the crossing.

[BMWST?]

... you're eating petrol station pies for three meals a day ...

.. you're wondering whether your bladder will hold out to the next petrol stop ...

... even BP Connect coffee tastes good ...

you doing it wrong.

[shafty]

........there's a pool of water at your feet in McDonalds, - and you squelch when you walk, but you're lovin it

[Macktheknife]

You know you are on tour when.....
Your first thought in the morning while doing the 3S' s routine is
"make sure you pack everything this time"
You can wash your entire wardrobe of clothes in a handsink in 15 mins, (except for the jacket, but who washes those?)
Your main concerns of the day involve gas-stations, moderately edible food and finding a cool route in the general direction you're heading today. (and making sure you packed everything)
you don't care about riding back over the 450km of yesterdays ride because you forgot to pack everything....
because you are ON TOUR!

Not that I have ever done this of course....

[Usarka]

you have no problem turning socks and undies inside out as the next washing stop isn't for another 4 days.


....you hang your socks out of a zipper so they can "air out"....

[caspernz]

You know you're on tour...
...when the soft throwover saddlebags remain stiff after being emptied...
...when your saddlebags smell worse than the 4 day old socks and undies...
...when you don't have to queue at Maccas, as nobody wants to stand near you...
...when roll-on deodorant beads off you, like water from a freshly polished paintjob...
...when your helmet leaves stains on the bench at the motel...

Well, at least that's the ones I've been guilty of personally :whistle:

[blackdog]

I so miss the seat on my old K75.After a couple of hundred k's on the duck I start asking myself "Are we there yet?".

Yup. Love that k75 seat.

[Tagger]

... you're suffering from a bad case of perma-buff

(the realisation that you havn't taken your buff scarf off for days (and nights: cold camping-nights) and would feel naked without it)



... you forget what a real bed looks like

[Wingnut]

........ your not posting on here

[Banditbandit]

you doing it wrong.

Huh ?? I travel light and travel fast ... don't carry much gear at all ... wallet, glasses (reading) and wet weather overs ... not much else ... maybe undies if I'm going more than three days.

[gijoe1313]

... someone asks if you've come far and you reply "just got started!" after doing 600km on the go ...

[Maha]

....when you GPS voice lady gets laryngitis.

[willytheekid]

...when your backpack catches on fire and starts throwing buring undies at other road users! :killingme
http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/8389538/Motorcyclist-leaves-fiery-trail-of-clothes
...friggin classic!

[gijoe1313]

... when you don't pack any clothes and just buy new ones along the way and throw away the old ones ...

[CRM]

...the Tomtom says "in 50 metres turn right" and the only thing on the right is Lake Te Anau :(
...you have to think for a couple of seconds whether you are in Te Rapa or Hornby :crazy:
...when it feels more natural to ride than to stop :cool:
...when you've already ridden six hours and think - hey its only another 500km, lets keep going :headbang:

[Mooch]

...when your backpack catches on fire and starts throwing buring undies at other road users! :killingme
http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/8389538/Motorcyclist-leaves-fiery-trail-of-clothes
...friggin classic!

Ask James Deuce about a certian magpie incident on his RC30 travelling down the west coast :lol:

[shafty]

......when listening to the female GPS voice, and you wonder what She's wearing....

[Maha]

...when you find it hard to keep up.

[_Shrek_]

you throw all ya plans out the window on the 1st day.....

[_Shrek_]

......when listening to the female GPS voice, and you wonder what She's wearing....

:facepalm: norfies (sick puppy)

[FJRider]

You find the rattle you kept hearing on and off ... for the last 500 km's ...

30 km's from the nearest town.

On a public holiday. (and no Cell phone coverage)

Just before it falls off.

And nothing in the tool kit you have ... can tighten it.

[FJRider]

you throw all ya plans out the window on the 1st day.....

Like a bridge/road gets washed out on your preferred route the day before you leave home.

[Mushu]

.... When you're running to every place in motueka looking for chain lube and wondering why your in motueka anyway

Sent from my XT535 using Tapatalk 2

[c4.]

When your reply to "how far are you going?" Is, "all the way"

[EJK]

... When you arrive at a backpackers.

[gijoe1313]

.... all your friends know all the words to all your touring stories ...

[Big Dave]

why motueka



Takaka Hill.

[Banditbandit]

Takaka Hill.

Is he, like, a relation of Graham Hill ???

[Maha]

....when you get off your bike and your arse goes pop pop in poetic motion.


Sent From Drews Shower.

[FJRider]

When your reply to "how far are you going?" Is, "all the way"

I use ...

Home ..... eventually ..



Sent from my back lawn using carrier pigeons ....

[Mushu]

..... When you base your choice of hotels on how well you can see your bike from the room.

Sent from my XT535 using Tapatalk 2

[Swoop]

When you intend to return to a certain town/city because of the water quality seeming to affect the quality of the female residents there...


Sent from the cupboard under the stairs.

[misterO]

You know you're a biker on tour when:

You walk to the motel laundry wearing only leather pants and sunglasses because everything else you own; shirts, socks, underwear- is in the wash.