Child support

[awa355]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/crime/news/article.cfm?c_id=30&objectid=10868210

Anyone here affected by this? I have a mate who is on an average wage, whos looses a big chunk of that in compulsary child support. This while trying to build a new family life. He cannot see himself as ever being able to get ahead, at least untill his children have left school.

His ex has their two children, lives with her partner. They both are in fulltime work earning far more than Andrew could ever hope to. He accepts he has a responsibility to provide for his own children but gets a lot of shit from the ex to provide more and more of the basic things for the children that she and her partner can easily afford to do so. She manipulates his love for the kids a lot.

No easy answer either way.

[nzspokes]

Yup, sounds like me. I pay heaps a week and she gives me shit all the time wanting more.

[Maha]

My split years ago was amicable enough.. we decide to keep the authorities out of it and came to an agreed figure of which I would pay each week...it has been 13 years now and the agreement is still in place, for another 18 months, then my youngest will be 18. :2thumbsup

[mashman]

My mum has worked for the CSA in the UK for longer than she cares to remember and yes people top themselves. Plenty have meltdowns and can't hold on to their jobs, plenty just can't afford to pay as they have to pay multiple rents and multiple utility bills etc... and at the end of it the kids still need to be looked after. A lot of relationships break down because of a lack of money in the household in the first place and it's adding insult to injury that the IRD keeps a book on them thar bad folk who are trying to make a living whilst also supporting their family(s). It's just another one of those wonderous things that money (aka the financial system) imposes on people's lives. It's disheartening to say the least and I feel for every honest fucker that's stuck fighting the system whilst trying to "get ahead".

Not sure if the same powers are granted here, but in the UK they can arrest wages from people's bank accounts... and not all of the money goes to the parents because there's the administration overhead to pay for too. It's FUBAR!

[Road kill]

So the basic idea is that once a woman remarries then the responsibility for her kids should pass on to the new man while daddy parties on.

Or for what ever reason,,,the father should not be held responsible for his own kids,,,because he's found a way to avoid them.

Somebody correct me here,,,,but is that attitude not the very reason these people are in this situation to begin with.

They simply run out on shit when the going gets hard,,,and their children are no different.

I know a number of people on both sides of this fence,,none of them are exactly living it up while the other pays.

I take it Mashman ect,there's some level you people don't belive a man should have to provide for his own children,,or if somehow the kids mother should remarry then the responsibility goes to the new man ?

Forget all the hippy shit about the evils of money.
This is about nothing more than basic responsibility for your own off spring.
People that don't like that simply shouldn't breed.
End of story.

Now wait for the fucking excuses,,,,not that we haven't heard it all before.

[Bikemad]

My split years ago was amicable enough.. we decide to keep the authorities out of it and came to an agreed figure of which I would pay each week...it has been 13 years now and the agreement is still in place, for another 18 months, then my youngest will be 18. :2thumbsup

heads up Maha............officially child support is expected till the childs 19th b/day

[mashman]

I take it Mashman ect,there's some level you people don't belive a man should have to provide for his own children,,or if somehow the kids mother should remarry then the responsibility goes to the new man ?

Forget all the hippy shit about the evils of money.
This is about nothing more than basic responsibility for your own off spring.
People that don't like that simply shouldn't breed.
End of story.

Now wait for the fucking excuses,,,,not that we haven't heard it all before.

bwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa... Who are my people? What I believe a man should be responsible for is irrelevant to the situation. It's the money that's the problem. Tis what the whole article is about. Money money money money. If the money wasn't an issue, then it'd be an article about parenting, which it isn't. There are plenty of people who simply can't afford to provide for their kids following a split, short of living in a tent and eating once a week.

Now you can either get the fuck over it, move the fuck on, or deal with the real fuckin issue. Til then, suck it up fag, coz nuffin will change.

Til then, folk will breed and be able to afford kids and then they'll split up and not be able to afford those kids. End of the real world story.

[MSTRS]

And for the record, the number of fathers who 'run out on their responsibilities' is not as many as you'd think compared to the number of fathers who are treated as a meal ticket.

[Flip]

Meal ticket, ha ha ha.

If that means feeding your children then I am all for it.

[Maha]

heads up Maha............officially child support is expected till the childs 19th b/day

Oh?....damn :rolleyes:

[blackdog]

So the basic idea is that once a woman remarries then the responsibility for her kids should pass on to the new man while daddy parties on.

Or for what ever reason,,,the father should not be held responsible for his own kids,,,because he's found a way to avoid them.

Somebody correct me here,,,,but is that attitude not the very reason these people are in this situation to begin with.

They simply run out on shit when the going gets hard,,,and their children are no different.

I know a number of people on both sides of this fence,,none of them are exactly living it up while the other pays.

I take it Mashman ect,there's some level you people don't belive a man should have to provide for his own children,,or if somehow the kids mother should remarry then the responsibility goes to the new man ?

Forget all the hippy shit about the evils of money.
This is about nothing more than basic responsibility for your own off spring.
People that don't like that simply shouldn't breed.
End of story.

Now wait for the fucking excuses,,,,not that we haven't heard it all before.

Please remove the fucking comma button from your keyboard.

[gunnyrob]

Once you're paying child support, you're basically fucked unless you can get custody of the kids, the kids turn 19, or your ex-wife of 10 years has "an accident". My son now lives with me and I can now afford to pay a mortgage.

Only sure fire way of avoiding child support is to "cover guns" when indulging in horizontal folk dancing and not have kids in the first place.

[Banditbandit]

There's a lot to be said for celibacy ....

[bluninja]

"Till death us do part" sorts all this out :)

[Banditbandit]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaqsd2B9ayw

[ducatilover]

The system is a heap of shit.
It's not a responsibility issue really, the amounts of money I've known people paying in child support is stupid. Yes, supporting your kids is reasonable. But one has to be able to live too.

I'm fairly certain the system is secretly run by the fat feminist fucks that I was working with in mental health.

[Banditbandit]

I'm fairly certain the system is secretly run by the fat feminist fucks that I was working with in mental health.

They didn't do you any good then ???

[ducatilover]

They didn't do you any good then ???

Horrible to work with, treated me like I was scum.
I'm a smart cookie though, told 'em I was ghey and they loved me. (easy to pull off when you're a young guy in a suit eh?)

Not going to work in that area again with people like that

[Swoop]

I have a mate ... Andrew...
He wouldn't be a declared bankrupt by any chance? Living in Auckland?


So the basic idea is that once a woman remarries then the responsibility for her kids should pass on to the new man while daddy parties on.

Or for what ever reason,,,the father should not be held responsible for his own kids,,,because he's found a way to avoid them.
Damn' right.
Fathers' need to accept the responsibility for their offspring. They chose to bring them into the world.

[awa355]

He wouldn't be a declared bankrupt by any chance? Living in Auckland.

Nah, he lives down this way.

Another slant on this subject, If you are/were the "Ex's new partner, how would you feel about supporting someone else's children, from her previous relationship? . Would you want the guy to be coughing up for them?

[Swoop]

Nah, he lives down this way.
Thank goodness. A more slimy, crafty, narcissistic, con-artist bastard you would not like to meet.

If you are/were the "Ex's new partner, how would you feel about supporting someone else's children, from her previous relationship? . Would you want the guy to be coughing up for them?
It would be sensible for the father to show responsibility to his children, now and for the future relationship with his children.
Having seen it all first-hand, the biological father walking away and ignoring his children is a devastating action. The "new man" is in a difficult situation from the offset but will be supporting the children no matter what.

[mashman]

Another slant on this subject, If you are/were the "Ex's new partner, how would you feel about supporting someone else's children, from her previous relationship? . Would you want the guy to be coughing up for them?

I never had a problem with it. If he coughed up some $ he coughed up some $, if he didn't, we still managed.

[slowpoke]

Working fly in/fly out jobs on various rosters for 16 odd years divorce and child support is one of the more common topics around the smoko table It's the big risk you take when you spend half your life (or more) away from home, and hardly a month goes by without another relationship falling apart.

Not one of the many many blokes I've sat across a table from has EVER denied their responsibility towards their children, it's the supporting a spouse who has no incentive to stand on her own two feet and the fact they have no control over the large percentage of their income they are forced to hand over that does their head in. Throw in the system's default setting of the mother having custody while the father is an after thought and it's a wonder more fathers don't top themselves or head for Brazil.

[The Lone Rider]

A lot of misinformation here.

I've posted about "what's what" before and got shot down.

For all the "you don't know what you're talking about TLR", I'll simply say that I no longer pay child support, and I get working for families tax and in work payments. And of course, I see my child plenty (-currently playing a mickey mouse game on my laptop)

[SMOKEU]

Moral of the story: Don't get a bitch knocked up, and if you do, give her a Maori abortion.

[Banditbandit]

Moral of the story: Don't get a bitch knocked up, and if you do, give her a Maori abortion.

And what would that be ??? Kill white arseholes nine months after they are born????

[Paul in NZ]

There is of course the opposite end of the spectrum...

Guys who father a child and pay fuck all (owns his own business and hides most of the income - certainly all the cash side of it), NEVER contacts the child (although his parents do) and hardly ever sends anything at birthday / xmas. (like once every 5 years)

He complains like a bitch when he does contact but is quite happy for me to raise his child. Frankly you don't want to know what I think of his 'support' efforts to date.

Its hardly unique either

[rickstv]

The thing that really pisses me off is the fact that I pay nearly one third of my income to the ex for one child.

Out of the rest I have to pay a mortgage and live. I cant save because there isn't anything left over to save.

To top it all off, she is forever asking for more for school camps and even after school care.:brick:

Meanwhile she is on 3 times my income and has a nice house and can afford to travell any time she likes, in fact she's in Oz right now while I look after my 11 yr old daughter.

Roll on the time when her income is take into account. Next year????:banana:

Rick.

[SMOKEU]

And what would that be ??? Kill white arseholes nine months after they are born????

No, just have a domestic and smack the bitch up a miscarriage ensues.

[Paul in NZ]

Roll on the time when her income is take into account. Next year????:banana:

Rick.

Yup - thats fair....

[Banditbandit]

No, just have a domestic and smack the bitch up a miscarriage ensues.

Jeez ... you white people have some really nasty ideas ...

[SMOKEU]

Jeez ... you white people have some really nasty ideas ...

It's not us cheeky whities who came up with the idea!

[mashman]

It's not us cheeky whities who came up with the idea!

bwaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa... my ex would disagree.