What's the most enraging thing a computer illiterate person has said to you?

[SMOKEU]

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jguhj/whats_the_most_enraging_thing_a_computer/

This is one of my favourites from the list:



Working as an intern many years ago in tech support, I was tasked with building my boss's new laptop. Once I was done, I handed it off to him and he was gracious enough to give me his old one to use in return. I got back to my desk, cabled it up and turned it on. Being in an office where everyone had static IPs and I had configured his new system exactly the same as his old one, I received the Windows 95 popup that someone had the IP I was trying to use and I couldn't have it. My boss, meanwhile, got a popup that said someone was trying to use his IP address, but it would not be permitted. No big deal -- I switched the IP address on my side and dropped by the boss's office to tell him to click "OK" and just ignore the mistake.

Three days pass. I am called into my boss's office. He asks me to take a seat and just stares for what seemed like a full minute. I finally spoke up.

"Is something th--"

"I know what you've been doing."

"Excuse me?"

"If you confess, I won't fire you."

"What?"

"I know you've been stealing my email."

"I...what? I haven't been--"

"You took my address and you've been stealing my email! Your ass is fired for this."

I got him to calm down long enough to explain that, no, the IP conflict would not permit me to steal his email, password required, mail identity and client, etc, etc. Being the dumb intern I was, I figured the technical explanation would suffice and the misunderstanding would be happily resolved and life at the office would continue. My boss stood up, knocked over a mug of pencils, and screamed at the top of his lungs, "You're a goddamn liar! I'm an important person, dammit, and I haven't gotten an email from the outside world in three days because you have been stealing them."

So, I did what I thought made perfect sense and sent him an email from my personal email account that resided outside the office. It showed up in his inbox a minute later.

"You rigged it to do that on purpose! You made it let your email through while you are still stealing all my important messages!"

That ended up being a really long day. And, yeah, he just hadn't had anyone send him email from outside the company in a few days.

[unstuck]

Whats illiterate mean?

[James Deuce]

"I'm from South Africa".

[jellywrestler]

Whats illiterate mean?

having babies when you're not married

[unstuck]

"I'm from South Africa".

Oh, we just say fucked in the head down here.:Punk::Punk:

[unstuck]

having babies when you're not married

I thought that was uneligable. Should of stayed awake at school. Drugs are bad kids.:yes:

[avgas]

This guy was not supposed to be computer illiterate. He is actually a project manager:

"I was going through the emails setup on the server through Outlook. I noticed there was a support one that no one was using - so I deleted it. Needed to free up some space on the server.
Turns out that is the support email that gets all the automatic emails from sites. Can Zack set it up again and recover all those emails for me?"

Me - "He can reset-up the account, but looks like you have wiped the whole history"

"It asked me something about the file was too big for the recycling bin. But I need those emails back"

Me - "Usually when I need something, I tend not to delete it permanently without asking someone else first" :angry2:

[SMOKEU]

Whats illiterate mean?

Shit, my bad :facepalm:

[Zippo]

Colleagues thought that the teaching room laptops weren't working. Me: :facepalm: *plug power cable in*

This has happened on numerous occasions...You'd think they would have learned by now.

[nosebleed]

"I'm from South Africa".

"Apple sucks"

[Gremlin]

Enraging? Don't think I've had that from illiterate people... but I did have to argue with a stupid tech once.

As for... mishaps... oh, so many I've forgotten most (and keep telling myself to remember them). Client complained the laptop kept "dying" on him/her, so I turned off all power saving features and warned them it would run completely flat etc. A few weeks later I get called out as the "dud" laptop is now completely dead, I should have known it was a dud etc. Plugged the power cord actually into the power board and away it went (plus charging the very flat battery). Plenty of times I've had to reset a device or power cycle it or suchlike fixing easy problems.

Thing is, you never know the extent of the problem until you've asked a few questions, maybe had a look etc, so I never judge. That said, when you've asked a very pointed and specific question and been given the wrong answer... :facepalm:

Oh, currently enraging is being rung at 2 or 4am about a problem, they've waited 20min and it still isn't working. You're just getting up (last time was a week or two ago), throwing on some warm clothes as it's bloody cold, then get rung again to hear: "oh, don't worry, it's working now". Likely they didn't wait 20min :oi-grr: but I'll spend more than that trying to get back to sleep after the brain has already kicked into gear. :angry:

[SMOKEU]

I'm actually not joking with this next one. I wish I was.

Client: I need help setting up my new laptop that I just bought.
Me: What part are you stuck on, what does the screen say?
Client: I don't know where to start.
Me: Have you powered it on, and where exactly are you stuck? Is there any error message?
Client: I haven't even opened the cardboard box that the laptop came in.
Me: Start by opening the box, and then have a read of the user manual. That should say how to put the battery in and get it started.
Client: I don't know how.
Me: Open the box and remove the laptop to start off with. Call me if you get stuck.

Turns out she got some "IT Guy" in to help her in the end. :facepalm:

[onearmedbandit]

Linux FTW!!!!!

[unstuck]

I'm actually not joking with this next one. I wish I was.

Client: I need help setting up my new laptop that I just bought.
Me: What part are you stuck on, what does the screen say?
Client: I don't know where to start.
Me: Have you powered it on, and where exactly are you stuck? Is there any error message?
Client: I haven't even opened the cardboard box that the laptop came in.
Me: Start by opening the box, and then have a read of the user manual. That should say how to put the battery in and get it started.
Client: I don't know how.
Me: Open the box and remove the laptop to start off with. Call me if you get stuck.

Turns out she got some "IT Guy" in to help her in the end. :facepalm:

You dumb african twat, why didnt you go around and set it up and get the coin for yourself :weird: up here for thinking.;)

[SMOKEU]

You dumb african twat, why didnt you go around and set it up and get the coin for yourself :weird: up here for thinking.;)

Because that would have been a big mistake. One of the reasons I don't like fixing/upgrading other peoples computers is because in 6 months from now when they've managed to get it infested with malware they ring me up and say "That thingy you did 6 months ago has now broken my computer, I want it fixed". She's the kind of person who would expect me to be her 24/7 tech support guy asking how to send an email or how to copy and paste every time she has a problem.

It's not much different from taking your car to a mechanic to get a gearbox service, and then complaining to the mechanic next time the vehicle fails a WOF for leaky shocks and chassis rust and expecting them to fix it for free.

[unstuck]

Fool, she may of been a bored randy housewife with an itch.:wacko:

[avgas]

Fool, she may of been a bored randy housewife with an itch.:wacko:
And 6 folds of skin covering it

[Akzle]

I thought that was uneligable. Should of stayed awake at school. Drugs are bad kids.:yes:
psssssssht.
there's no school in the south island.

This guy was not supposed to be computer illiterate. He is actually a project manager:

"I was going through the emails setup on the server through Outlook. I noticed there was a support one that no one was using - so I deleted it. Needed to free up some space on the server.
Turns out that is the support email that gets all the automatic emails from sites. Can Zack set it up again and recover all those emails for me?"

Me - "He can reset-up the account, but looks like you have wiped the whole history"

"It asked me something about the file was too big for the recycling bin. But I need those emails back"

Me - "Usually when I need something, I tend not to delete it permanently without asking someone else first" :angry2:
y'know... windows sucks so much ass, you could probably have recovered them.
1) the undelete
2) a low level read/write to restore the file headers. (linux. f the f-ing win)

[neels]

I have given up on working on other people's computers, too much time for no reward. Almost as bad as trying to explain to a 70 year old how to use his freeview box.

I can't even get my staff to understand using automated buttons on their timesheets to do stuff in a sensible fashion instead of typing gibberish in the fields, and they're fucking technicians. The rest of the world I just don't have the time to bash my head against the wall.

[mashman]

When discussing a recruitment website with workflows forms etc...

CEO: It shouldn't take you long as it's only a textbox on a web page. :facepalm:

-----------------------

After a discussion on what it would take to get an application up and running to meet the business needs.

General Manager: It shouldn't take that long and I've overseen 6 large website projects before.

The boss: fixes me a stare and waves his palms at me as I lean forwards with a smile on my face ready to constructively de-rage.

----------------------

A 3rd party "professional" having performed due diligence on the data that we have been capturing.

3rd Party: We have no data pertaining to clients in this given business area.
Me: Yes we do.
3rd Party: No we don't.
Me: I have an application containing 10,000+ records being used by 47 of our remote office staff that says otherwise.
3rd Party: Argues that the data isn't valid because it never showed in their analysis.
Me: Ok, you're the expert.

---------------------

Me: You realise that the reporting system you've written is calculating the Euro - GBP calculation the wrong way around.
CIO: Go and check it again, you must be wrong. (went bust 9 months later)

---------------------

Me: Your EBITDA report is missing 3 categories.
CFO: I don't believe you. (I was pulled off of the project not long after)

---------------------

Aye, cream of the crop that lot. Some people just don't like hearing bad news, especially when it's their fuckup.

[pete376403]

Aye, cream of the crop that lot. Some people just don't like hearing bad news, especially when it's their fuckup.

AKA Novopay

[avgas]

y'know... windows sucks so much ass, you could probably have recovered them.
1) the undelete
2) a low level read/write to restore the file headers. (linux. f the f-ing win)
Knowing this particular person - he would simply log in and sudo killall because the computer was too hot.
He knows enough to do dumb stuff, and not enough to do useful stuff.

Also there is no undelete or restore file headers if you remove similar to the way he del'd from windows. Best I could hope for is a bit level recovery through a shadow image on the raid. To make matters worse the moron told us about it this 2 weeks after he'd done it. So simple backup was gone.

However even if I could recover things these days I decide not to. If I do it once, its like telling them they have a safety net......so they then climb to next floor. Trust me. I have been asked if I could retrieve lost data from the network when the server was down.........the fucking network??!!!!
Yeah sure - I will just grab all the FIFO buffers from the cisco switches and then rearrange the data to suit you.
Much easier to say - no the data is gone now. Go get some more.

[YellowDog]

I had a customer let her son run up a >$5k phone bill downloading porn whilst on holiday in Spain. AND then she insisted that it was all my fault and my firm, or my firm's insurance company, should pay the bill.

When I explained that when she told me she would be holidaying in Spain, I did advise her to get a local ISP connection for Spain and that an international modem connection would only be OK for sending and receiving the odd email; she agreed that I had said that but told me I should still pay up, as I didn't state that internet downloads and website browsing might be costly. I only mentioned long email connections

Apparently is was also very slow and that was also my fault as I should have sold her a faster computer

[Jantar]

At work we have a very important application that runs on a remote PC, and to keep track that all is OK we have a slave display in the control room. One night we lost contact with the remote PC. I was unable to ping it, and data stopped being received. I logged an urgent help desk request describing the PC, its location, the nature of the problem and the consequences if the required data couldn't be received, and saying that I was unable to connect to it.

I received an email from the IT person looking into the issue asking me to get some information from the computer that I couldn't connect to or even ping. The instructions to get this information started with ' On the affected PC click start, the open a command window...':facepalm:

[Akzle]

At work we have a very important application that runs on a remote PC, and to keep track that all is OK we have a slave display in the control room. One night we lost contact with the remote PC. I was unable to ping it, and data stopped being received. I logged an urgent help desk request describing the PC, its location, the nature of the problem and the consequences if the required data couldn't be received, and saying that I was unable to connect to it.

I received an email from the IT person looking into the issue asking me to get some information from the computer that I couldn't connect to or even ping. The instructions to get this information started with ' On the affected PC click start, the open a command window...':facepalm:

M$ tech support at its finest!

[pzkpfw]

Worst I personally had was: "we didn't change anything."

Problem: my tracking software at the district council no longer recorded the water level in the Waituna West rural water supply.

Cause: they didn't like OS/2 Warp (which had proper multi tasking) so had installed Windows 3.11 on the PC.

Apparently changing the entire OS doesn't count as "doing anything".

[YellowDog]

Worst I personally had was: "we didn't change anything."

Problem: my tracking software at the district council no longer recorded the water level in the Waituna West rural water supply.

Cause: they didn't like OS/2 Warp (which had proper multi tasking) so had installed Windows 3.11 on the PC.

Apparently changing the entire OS doesn't count as "doing anything".

Most of my Windows 3.1 Business users ran it using OS2 as a hypervisor.

It ran faster and was more reliable :crazy:

[c4.]

Was trying to organise a DVD presentation at a Motorcycle Club.
Me
"Ok, can you tell me what kind of DVD player and monitor you have?
Is it Standard def, HD, blueray?"

Answer
" it's just a normal one"

Me
"Right, I'll bring all 3 then. "

[pzkpfw]

(

Most of my Windows 3.1 Business users ran it using OS2 as a hypervisor.

It ran faster and was more reliable :crazy:

Of course, perversely that kind of thing stopped much software being written to target OS/2 Warp - it was so good at running Windows software. So that actually helped kill OS/2.

I wonder if that kind of thing might affect "Metro". The Windows RT tablets only do "modern U.I." (it's so locked down I personally hate the heck out of it). But a "full" Windows 8 machine will run "normal" desktop software. And manufacturers seem to be making more cheapish Win 8 tablets by using Atom processors, rather than by using Windows RT. So will Metro ever really take off? (Other than by MS forcing it on us, like how even the server installs use a metro style interface.)
)

[SMOKEU]

So will Metro ever really take off? (Other than by MS forcing it on us, like how even the server installs use a metro style interface.)
)

ClassicShell works well on Server 2012. It hasn't given me any problems so far, and I never have to look at that Metro interface again or that start screen.

[avgas]

At work we have a very important application that runs on a remote PC, and to keep track that all is OK we have a slave display in the control room. One night we lost contact with the remote PC. I was unable to ping it, and data stopped being received. I logged an urgent help desk request describing the PC, its location, the nature of the problem and the consequences if the required data couldn't be received, and saying that I was unable to connect to it.

I received an email from the IT person looking into the issue asking me to get some information from the computer that I couldn't connect to or even ping. The instructions to get this information started with ' On the affected PC click start, the open a command window...':facepalm:
GE? Wonderware? or Schneider/Citect?
I once had an interesting discussion with a "control engineer who had 30 years experience" about how telemetry is different from control (I used to do both). He was telling me that they were exactly the same and that I was "over-engineering" my design.
Politely explained to him that I would record that down, and when a REMOTE telemetry site went down and lost control - they could call him to drive the 40km journey to see what was wrong.
While I can't say much for most graduates......it scares me what comes out of ECNZ's finest every now and then. Turns out whatever generation I deal with - there are people whom understand stuff, and morons.
Usually the latter stop learning when they get "qualified".

[avgas]

I wonder if that kind of thing might affect "Metro". The Windows RT tablets only do "modern U.I." (it's so locked down I personally hate the heck out of it). But a "full" Windows 8 machine will run "normal" desktop software. And manufacturers seem to be making more cheapish Win 8 tablets by using Atom processors, rather than by using Windows RT. So will Metro ever really take off? (Other than by MS forcing it on us, like how even the server installs use a metro style interface.)
)
Development for metro is about 10 times that for 8-desktop. Purely because if you develop something for metro not only will it work on RT - can be ported easily to win8 mobile.
It's also setup perfectly for .net so all the .net devs can develop for metro with very little learning.
The other side of this is that there a market for metro apps......but not for desktop apps.

So it's likely to take hold whether we like it or not.
It's Microsofts strike back at Apple/Google and it seems to be working (slowly).

The other side to this which I am unsure about is Ubuntu.........being the same on phone, pc and server

[Smifffy]

I was working with a guy who was complaining about his laptop crapping out all the time. He needed his laptop for our project, so I offered to take a look. Turns out he had at least 3 viruses in there, none of which were particularly nasty, just bothersome. Some googling showed that they were relatively easy to remove, and so I removed them for him.

I got that call six months later at dinner time, long after the project was completed and we had gone our separate ways. "What did you do to my computer? I can't geet my emails."

Me:"Are you telling me that you've gone for the last 6 months without getting any emails?"

Him:"No, it worked really well after you fixed it, and it lasted until yesterday, and now I can't get the internet or my email"

[Mental Trousers]

Because that would have been a big mistake. One of the reasons I don't like fixing/upgrading other peoples computers is because in 6 months from now when they've managed to get it infested with malware they ring me up and say "That thingy you did 6 months ago has now broken my computer, I want it fixed". She's the kind of person who would expect me to be her 24/7 tech support guy asking how to send an email or how to copy and paste every time she has a problem.

It's not much different from taking your car to a mechanic to get a gearbox service, and then complaining to the mechanic next time the vehicle fails a WOF for leaky shocks and chassis rust and expecting them to fix it for free.

Get some business cards printed with the wrong phone number on them. People you don't want to see again you tell them your contact details have changed and here's the new details.

[Mom]

My name is Mom and I am computer illiterate...

I have 3 screens on my desktop, I need them. For some reason one of them drops off from time to time. I arrive at work and only 2 have a display. I send a Skype to the IT guy and he comes and fixes it for me. Last time it happened, he suggested I crawl (literally crawl between my desk and the wall, then contort myself so I can see behind my desk mind) around the back of my desk and fiddle with some of the connections before I contact him. That enraged me! I am a woman of a certain age, that wears really nice clothes to work. I will not crawl anywhere at work thank you. How about he simply tightens the connections on the plugs so they don't fall out :wacko:

[Drew]

I am a complete retard when it comes to computers.

I once spent half an hour on the phone with a guy who is proper in the know, to discover why I had no internet. I had the router unplugged from the phone line somehow.

[Akzle]

I am a complete retard when it comes to computers.

I once spent half an hour on the phone with a guy who is proper in the know, to discover why I had no internet. I had the router unplugged from the phone line somehow.

huh. 'is your shit plugged in?' is normally question number 1...
Followed by 'reset it'
if its more fucked than that, then you done bad. :spanking:

[Smifffy]

Just to prove that karma is a bitch, I did it to my own self today lol.

Wireless mouse working fine one minute then totally locked up the next. A bit of fiddling, a bit of try another mouse. No way could it be flat batteries - those bitches are fairly new lithiums at $11 the pair, cos I was sick of always having the batteries run out. A bit more internet surfing for troubleshooting tips. Hmmm M$ wireless mice of this model have given plenty of ppl trouble in the past. Hunt through boxes for old mice, can't get them to go either - gah curses.

Try new batteries anyway. Whaddayaknow? Works like a charm.....

:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

[Gremlin]

I am a complete retard when it comes to computers.

I once spent half an hour on the phone with a guy who is proper in the know, to discover why I had no internet. I had the router unplugged from the phone line somehow.
Been guilty of that before. You spend a few days eyeball deep in complex issues, then get a client who sounds like he knows what he's doing, and something isn't working. You dig around, try to get remote access, not working... hold on, can you access ANYTHING?

Your computer isn't plugged into the network, check your network cables :facepalm:

[imac]

My name is Mom and I am computer illiterate...

I have 3 screens on my desktop, I need them. For some reason one of them drops off from time to time. I arrive at work and only 2 have a display. I send a Skype to the IT guy and he comes and fixes it for me. Last time it happened, he suggested I crawl (literally crawl between my desk and the wall, then contort myself so I can see behind my desk mind) around the back of my desk and fiddle with some of the connections before I contact him. That enraged me! I am a woman of a certain age, that wears really nice clothes to work. I will not crawl anywhere at work thank you. How about he simply tightens the connections on the plugs so they don't fall out :wacko:

Yeah um... as whipper snapper PFY I asked a caller to crawl under her desk to check something. It took a while and I heard a lot of grunting and sighing. When I asked if everything was okay she told me she was 7 months pregnant!

[oneofsix]

My name is Mom and I am computer illiterate...

I have 3 screens on my desktop, I need them. For some reason one of them drops off from time to time. I arrive at work and only 2 have a display. I send a Skype to the IT guy and he comes and fixes it for me. Last time it happened, he suggested I crawl (literally crawl between my desk and the wall, then contort myself so I can see behind my desk mind) around the back of my desk and fiddle with some of the connections before I contact him. That enraged me! I am a woman of a certain age, that wears really nice clothes to work. I will not crawl anywhere at work thank you. How about he simply tightens the connections on the plugs so they don't fall out :wacko:

FFS Mom you never tighten those connections, someday you might want to remove the plugs (say for a hardware upgrade). :corn:

I usually give the screws a turn or two, so they stay in place but are still easy to remove. Its beastly when some prick has done the screws up really tight and you need a screw driver to get them undone, do they think they are bolting up the axle bolt or tightening the head?

[Mom]

Yeah um... as whipper snapper PFY I asked a caller to crawl under her desk to check something. It took a while and I heard a lot of grunting and sighing. When I asked if everything was okay she told me she was 7 months pregnant!


FFS Mom you never tighten those connections, someday you might want to remove the plugs (say for a hardware upgrade). :corn:

I usually give the screws a turn or two, so they stay in place but are still easy to remove. Its beastly when some prick has done the screws up really tight and you need a screw driver to get them undone, do they think they are bolting up the axle bolt or tightening the head?

I probably should have said I have once, crawled, bent, reached, exposed my underwear as I bent, crawled etc.

I fuxed the screens :woohoo: They did not stay fuxed. I wont do it again. Even half a turn MUST keep the fuckers there, Shirley?

[Gremlin]

Even half a turn MUST keep the fuckers there, Shirley?
Actually no. I give em a good screw to the end (but not as tight as can be). With the plug still loose it can come part way off the contacts, and especially for DVI, that little bit of looseness in the plug can be enough to create issues.

[Brian d marge]

Linux FTW!!!!!
hahahaa I was just going to type
windoze 6,7,8,9 10 ,,,,,,,,,,

Stephen

[GDOBSSOR]

psssssssht.
there's no school in the south island.

y'know... windows sucks so much ass, you could probably have recovered them.
1) the undelete
2) a low level read/write to restore the file headers. (linux. f the f-ing win)

Like the time I meant to delete two computer programmes I didn't need anymore, and ended up deleting everything on the computer EXCEPT those two programmes... Dad's friend used undelete to restore most stuff.

[Akzle]

Like the time I meant to delete two computer programmes I didn't need anymore, and ended up deleting everything on the computer EXCEPT those two programmes... Dad's friend used undelete to restore most stuff.

youre fuken special you are...

[SMOKEU]

Like the time I meant to delete two computer programmes I didn't need anymore, and ended up deleting everything on the computer EXCEPT those two programmes... Dad's friend used undelete to restore most stuff.

OMG!!1!1!11!! U R TEH 1337 HaXXor!!!1!1! PWN4G3!

[Brian d marge]

GE? Wonderware? or Schneider/Citect?
I once had an interesting discussion with a "control engineer who had 30 years experience" about how telemetry is different from control (I used to do both). He was telling me that they were exactly the same and that I was "over-engineering" my design.
Politely explained to him that I would record that down, and when a REMOTE telemetry site went down and lost control - they could call him to drive the 40km journey to see what was wrong.
While I can't say much for most graduates......it scares me what comes out of ECNZ's finest every now and then. Turns out whatever generation I deal with - there are people whom understand stuff, and morons.
Usually the latter stop learning when they get "qualified".

trust me they are everywhere ,,,,,, even on this site I have seen compression on a bit of string ( so to speak )

where a few min with a pen and paper or a drawing board ( costs nothing ) and irons out a lot of "problems "

anyway , just smile ,,,,,,,,,and make sure your name isnt attached when it goes pear shaped !

Stephen

[mashman]

You're fired... (http://nz.finance.yahoo.com/news/man-dozes-off-on-keyboard--transfers-millions-040232826.html)... oops

[FROSTY]

Im not the most literate person when it comes to computers. However I do know what I see staring me in the face or not.
Currently I'm dealing with smart ass "help desk" personel who are with vehicle advertising sites I deal with.
In one case stock is showing multiple times on my screen.
Being told that without question NO thats not possible really tears my shorts. -Ohh yea Im gonna get through your computer voice answering service,then to some idiot in "customer support" to then wait to be put through to you for the fun of it?
To demand a screen shot to proove Im not lying had me looking for other options.

Why can't these people actually say -"yes we have a problem"??

[Brian d marge]

Im sorry , but I cant understand why people pay money for windoze

that has to be the dumbest thing ever

Sometimes I use windose and EVERY time i do I am reminded why I dont


IF , it produced a revolutionary , or even an incentive to use it , i would gladly pay the money .....but why ..

other systems are free ... and just as good if not better in some area

oh I forgot , I cant play warcraft on ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


Life , one must get .......


Stephen

[Mental Trousers]

Im sorry , but I cant understand why people pay money for windoze

MS seem to be doing their best to discourage people from using Windows. Win8 is a fucken abortion unless you install a 3rd party Start button and then after that it's just painful.