Motherfucken cuisine. And shit.

[Akzle]

well, kb is sucking goat balls.
And i like all kinds of food.
So ill throw it out there to all wannabe chefs,
mainly whore d'oerves, simple dishes that are fucking awesome.
And i dont mean missionary-in-the-dark-because-its-thursday-anyway-fucking awesome. I mean her-on-all-fours-in-the-lounge-begging-for-an-ass-fucking awesome.

1) Avocado, halved, filled with cottage cheese and drizzled with worchestshire sauce and chloroform.

2) kamokamo, halved, scooped, stuffed with con-carne style mince and ground rohypnol, grilled with cheese

3) butter fried spinnach with chilli feta filo rolls in a panel van.

4) scallops with magic/shiitake mushrooms in white sauce

5) sushi and sake

No fondue..
Go.

[AllanB]

I just made a beaut bacon and egg pie. Hmmmm it was good.

[fridayflash]

sunday night burger king drive thru ftw!

[Akzle]

heart attacks:
boeri, cut to 6", sliced, filled with herbd puree kumara and cheese, wrapped in honey bacon with chilly flakes. Grilled.

[ellipsis]

...rock'n'roll followed by as much pussy as you can eat...

[AllanB]

...rock'n'roll followed by as much pussy as you can eat...

Best served with a side plate of chips and tomato sauce I reckon.

[mashman]

Blowjob, choc ice and chips. Why over complicate things.

[AllanB]

Blowjob, choc ice and chips. Why over complicate things.

One hopes you are the receiver not the giver ...........

[mashman]

One hopes you are the receiver not the giver ...........

:rofl: that makes two of us.

[The Reibz]

Kingfish straight off the bone, or smoked, or fried...
Scallops marinaded in chili.
Just about anything from the sea...

[nallac]

Kingfish straight off the bone, or smoked, or fried...
Scallops marinaded in chili.
Just about anything from the sea...

H'mmm sounds good....

I made a wicked seafood chowder a lil while ago...Fuck it was nice better than any I've bought...and thats a lot...
Wanna make it again but it's the $60 worth of Seafood that went in.....

Last nights Tea was 6 Hour slow cooked Pork Shoulder roast, marinated for two days with Garlic, lemon juice and Paprika with xtra Garlic..
It was sooooooooo tender, fell apart getting it out of the roasting dish, simply melt in your mouth.......

[98tls]

H'mmm sounds good....

I made a wicked seafood chowder a lil while ago...Fuck it was nice better than any I've bought...and thats a lot...
Wanna make it again but it's the $60 worth of Seafood that went in.....

Last nights Tea was 6 Hour slow cooked Pork Shoulder roast, marinated for two days with Garlic, lemon juice and Paprika with xtra Garlic..
It was sooooooooo tender, fell apart getting it out of the roasting dish, simply melt in your mouth.......

mmm chowder,what went in?Gimme the recipe mate,start to finish,cheers.

[caspernz]

Keep it simple. Steak, eggs and chips. Funnily enough I'm the trucker in the house and this is the wifeys favourite dinner...go figure :drinkup:

[ellipsis]

...fish'n'chips from the little chippy on the corner of Springs Rd and Halswell Rd...

[Flip]

Thinly sliced venison back steaks and rice.

[98tls]

Bugger this thread its made me wish i had taken some whitebait outta the freezer.

[Madness]

Beef Rendang and a fistful of Roti from KK's Malaysian Cuisine, Manukau Rd Epsom, washed down with a couple of Coronas and a quality indoor sinsemilla.

[ellipsis]

...sweetened condensed milk and a teaspoon...

[nallac]

mmm chowder,what went in?Gimme the recipe mate,start to finish,cheers.


I would mate but i can't remember which one I used.. Was a random one off the net, took ages to search thru and find the one i wanted to try. I Will have to search it up again..It's overdue for me to make one again.

I know i put in a couple dozen Scallops, 500grms Squid, 500grms Shrimps, 300grms or so Surimi and about 30 fresh mussels.

I kinda added about 5 times the amount of cream, plus a few more things to suit my tastes...


Fuck i want some now....... I even put in Celery cause the recipe said so....


EDIT, think it was THIS (http://www.bestrecipes.com.au/recipe/seafood-chowder-L8630.html) I added 500Ml of chicken stock as well

[98tls]

I would mate but i can't remember which one I used.. Was a random one off the net, took ages to search thru and find the one i wanted to try. I Will have to search it up again..It's overdue for me to make one again.

I know i put in a couple dozen Scallops, 500grms Squid, 500grms Shrimps, 300grms or so Surimi and about 30 fresh mussels.

I kinda added about 5 times the amount of cream, plus a few more things to suit my tastes...


Fuck i want some now....... I even put in Celery cause the recipe said so....

Damn,sounds a good un.Yep celery works fine in a chowder.Will have a search on the net myself and see what i come up with.

[ellipsis]

...and if you are in the right spot...finely filleted fresh gurnard soaked in grapefruit juice for twenty minutes...while yer waitin' finely chop a heap of garlic to put on the marmite and avocado that goes on the toast that just popped up...fuck the merricus cup...

[kevfromcoro]

one of m favourites is scnapper,, wrapped in banana leaf, and BBQ it..
then lemon pepper on it.. tender as ...
unfortunately.. iam stuck in the desert in ozz.. the seafood out here taistes like shit

[Madness]

unfortunately.. iam stuck in the desert in ozz.. the seafood out here taistes like shit

Only the seafood?

[kevfromcoro]

I will eat just about anything.
tried kangaroo.. it isn't that nice..
also yabbies, they are a bit taistless too
got hold of a massive crab... me and my maori mate cooked it up. it was ok.. but a bit hollow.. but tasty.
did someone say whitebait????? I walk across broken glass for it....

[HenryDorsetCase]

Best served with a side plate of chips and tomato sauce I reckon.

I think I met that girl.

[nallac]

I will eat just about anything.
got hold of a massive crab... me and my maori mate cooked it up. it was ok.. but a bit hollow.. but tasty.
.

You better stay away from em abo's now....

[Brian d marge]

Blowjob, choc ice and chips. Why over complicate things.
thought you love the sausage

Me I love red snapper

and the Asian beaver

Stephen

[Grubber]

H'mmm sounds good....

I made a wicked seafood chowder a lil while ago...Fuck it was nice better than any I've bought...and thats a lot...
Wanna make it again but it's the $60 worth of Seafood that went in.....

Last nights Tea was 6 Hour slow cooked Pork Shoulder roast, marinated for two days with Garlic, lemon juice and Paprika with xtra Garlic..
It was sooooooooo tender, fell apart getting it out of the roasting dish, simply melt in your mouth.......

I'm available for meals out most nights of the week, if it's of any interest. Just sayin!:cool:

[unstuck]

Been eating the gurnard and whitebait that I got up the coast a couple of weeks ago, just about all gone:shit: Starting on the chamois and venison tonight, just not sure how I will do them yet. I want stew, but she who must be obeyed wants something different, but she aint the one cooking it now is she. Do I go against her wishes and do what I want, or do I put my testicles in my pocket and do what she wants.:kick:

[Banditbandit]

Blowjob, choc ice and chips. Why over complicate things.


One hopes you are the receiver not the giver ...........

I have this visual image .. which just leaves one question ..

How do you keep it up when it is covered with Choc ICE ???

[kevfromcoro]

thought you love the sausage

Me I love red snapper

and the Asian beaver

Stephen
nothing wrong with a bit of sidevalve
and there small hands make ya dick look bigger

[Banditbandit]

Been eating the gurnard and whitebait that I got up the coast a couple of weeks ago, just about all gone:shit: Starting on the chamois and venison tonight, just not sure how I will do them yet. I want stew, but she who must be obeyed wants something different, but she aint the one cooking it now is she. Do I go against her wishes and do what I want, or do I put my testicles in my pocket and do what she wants.:kick:

Oooo ... chamois ... best meat I ever killed and cooked ... do it gently and it's just wonderful

Me and my missus have a good deal - I eat what she cooks without argument and she eats what I cook without argument .. That's a hassle for me - I did not marry her for her cooking (no-one could !!!) Some of her shit is inedible ..

My favourite meals are wild food - did flounder on Saturday night. Caught a few days before in my net .. Simple - coat flounder in flour, place in hotr fry pan ... turn after 3 or 4 minutes ... serve with chips and lemon jiuce (I also like a soft fried egg with mine ... yoke runs all over the flounder ...) ... we also have a garden full of puha so it's going to be a boil up soon.

[Akzle]

do I put my testicles in my pocket and do what she wants.:kick:

youd have to get them out of her purse first...

[ellipsis]

....hapuka cheeks, salmon cheeks... in fact any fish cheeks...

[Banditbandit]

....hapuka cheeks, salmon cheeks... in fact any fish cheeks...

Whitebait cheeks ???

[SMOKEU]

Pancakes with vanilla essence and plenty of cocoa/drinking chocolate and hash butter. Grease the pan with more hash butter.

Green dragon; get some strong ass neutral spirit, and leave your skunky leaves in there for a few weeks.

Poppy seed tea; add poppy seeds to a pot, add a little citric acid and cover with hot (not boiling!) water. Leave for an hour, stirring regularly. Strain, and drink.

Sketti and butter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KswWfq2drCM

[nallac]

I'm available for meals out most nights of the week, if it's of any interest. Just sayin!:cool:

Do you put out on the first date?...

[Grubber]

Do you put out on the first date?...

Whats for tea first?:sick: I do have standards ya know!

[Akzle]

Whats for tea first?:sick: I do have standards ya know!

chocolate sauce.
Á la mashy.
:lol:

[ellipsis]

Whitebait cheeks ???

...wouldn't go out of my way for them...but yeah, cheeks, guts, arsehole...all good protein...

[mashman]

thought you love the sausage

Fucksake you never listen do ya... I said I like smoked sausage, not smoking sausage.


I have this visual image .. which just leaves one question ..

How do you keep it up when it is covered with Choc ICE ???

It's hard... but it would seem that brain freeze acts similarly to rigamortis.


chocolate sauce.
Á la mashy.
:lol:

http://www.mensfitness.com/sites/mensfitness.com/files/imagecache/gallery_full_image/photo_gallery_picture_images/lush-dream-cream.jpg

[Grubber]

chocolate sauce.
Á la mashy.
:lol:

The intelect just astounds me, where do you come up with this stuff!
Ooooh i so wish i was you :sick:

[HenryDorsetCase]

Whitebait cheeks ???

there's a lot of prep, but they result is worth it........

actually one of my favourite cuts of beef is beef cheeks. nom nom

[unstuck]

I tried this recipe I got from FishnHunt- New Zealand yesterday, fucking awesome. Probably the best feed I have ever cooked, Chamois never tasted that good in a stew before.:drool:

Heres a traditional recipe for chams from the Swiss/Austrian Alps. Theve been cooking poxy old chamois for ages. (just joking)

Its bloody delicious, if yove got the time..

Chamois as cooked in the Alps..
(Chamois Rahm Geschnetlets)
For 4 persons

Ingredients
1 kg finely cut chamois meat (this means sliced about the thickness of thick bacon rashers and about 20mm x 40-50mm)
750ml heavy red wine
250ml red wine vinegar
250 ml cream
1 carrot sliced
½ leek sliced
¼ celery quartered
1 onion cut into four
10 black pepper corns
10 juniper berries (or a dash of gin)
3 halved garlic’s
1 bundle of parsley
1 teaspoon salt
100gram walnuts
100g dark bitter chocolate

10 black peppercorns
10 juniper berries (of a dash of gin)
3 cut garlic cloves
3 bay leaves
1 parsley
1 teaspoon salt

100 g Walnuts
100 g bitter chocolate
Cream


The meat is placed in a ceramic vessel. The wine and all the ingredients except the last three) are boiled and poured over the meat. Cover and place the lot in a cool place for 5– to 6 days.

Remove the meat from the marinade mix (do not throw that away!), Pat the meat dry with a paper towel. Divide the meat into two portions, quickly stir fry each portion with 1 tablespoon sunflower oil. Deglaze (add) to the hot meat in the pan, half of the marinade you’ve put aside. , then add the walnuts, and simmer very slowly depending on the animal's age 1 1 / 2 - 2 hours you might need to add little more of the marinade as it cooks. . Take off the heat.

Heat a little oil in another pan, add the flour, and brown off the flower. Remove the pan from the heat, pour in the rest of the marinade, simmer for five minutes, add the cream and the chocolate, heat again to just under the boiling point (but do not boil!). Remove the walnuts in the meat; pour the sauce over the meat. Serve with polenta or pasta, or over creamy mashed potatoes.

I’m not sure why they say dividing the meat into two portions to stir fry. Perhaps it works better because of the volume of meat..

[kevfromcoro]

there's a lot of prep, but they result is worth it........

actually one of my favourite cuts of beef is beef cheeks. nom nom

you serious??
I eat fish head.. and don't mind a pigs head either..
but I haven't tried a cows head. not sure about that.

[avgas]

Rabbit Poos and jelly beans in Chocolate.

Cadbury patented this years ago and called it black forest or something-a-rather

[Akzle]

fucken toast, mckenzie country style, with salmon (fillets or smoked slices), dry raosted/sundried tomatoes, creme fraiche and capers, and some kind of olive oil and vinagrette for dipping.

[The Reibz]

Got a feed of scallops yesterday. Cooked them in the shells on the barbie before cleaning them up and eating them with chili periperi sauce.
Dog didn't think they were to bad either

[george formby]

I tried this recipe I got from FishnHunt- New Zealand yesterday, fucking awesome. Probably the best feed I have ever cooked, Chamois never tasted that good in a stew before.:drool:

Heres a traditional recipe for chams from the Swiss/Austrian Alps. Theve been cooking poxy old chamois for ages. (just joking)

Its bloody delicious, if yove got the time..

Chamois as cooked in the Alps..
(Chamois Rahm Geschnetlets)
For 4 persons

Ingredients
1 kg finely cut chamois meat (this means sliced about the thickness of thick bacon rashers and about 20mm x 40-50mm)
750ml heavy red wine
250ml red wine vinegar
250 ml cream
1 carrot sliced
� leek sliced
� celery quartered
1 onion cut into four
10 black pepper corns
10 juniper berries (or a dash of gin)
3 halved garlic�s
1 bundle of parsley
1 teaspoon salt
100gram walnuts
100g dark bitter chocolate

10 black peppercorns
10 juniper berries (of a dash of gin)
3 cut garlic cloves
3 bay leaves
1 parsley
1 teaspoon salt

100 g Walnuts
100 g bitter chocolate
Cream


The meat is placed in a ceramic vessel. The wine and all the ingredients except the last three) are boiled and poured over the meat. Cover and place the lot in a cool place for 5� to 6 days.

Remove the meat from the marinade mix (do not throw that away!), Pat the meat dry with a paper towel. Divide the meat into two portions, quickly stir fry each portion with 1 tablespoon sunflower oil. Deglaze (add) to the hot meat in the pan, half of the marinade you�ve put aside. , then add the walnuts, and simmer very slowly depending on the animal's age 1 1 / 2 - 2 hours you might need to add little more of the marinade as it cooks. . Take off the heat.

Heat a little oil in another pan, add the flour, and brown off the flower. Remove the pan from the heat, pour in the rest of the marinade, simmer for five minutes, add the cream and the chocolate, heat again to just under the boiling point (but do not boil!). Remove the walnuts in the meat; pour the sauce over the meat. Serve with polenta or pasta, or over creamy mashed potatoes.

I�m not sure why they say dividing the meat into two portions to stir fry. Perhaps it works better because of the volume of meat..

You split the meat so that it browns rather than stews.

TBH that recipe could be used for donkey, badger, seagull, weasel, the neighbours cat & it would still taste the same. Marinade for 6 days? Leather shoes would taste great.

If you got game, hang it until it seems you can push a finger into the meat, not too dry & cool not freezing. Cook quickly until still, just, pink. Rest. Eat.

I cooked a lorra lorra game in Scotland, flying, running, burrowing, the lot. I even had the privilege of shoving a dozen snipe beaks up their own dates prior to roasting.
Speaking of which, if you get a game bird, Phwoooooar!, hang it until the feathers come away easy & it starts to get a slightly ripe scent. Pluck it, clean it & prepare for the oven. Soften some butter & beat with whisky, a touch of green manuka, blueberries or raspberries & honey. Pack your bird full of it, chocka, it should creak with the last fisting.
Wrap the bint, er, bird in smoked streaky bacon with a touch more green manuka underneath, don't be shy with the rashers & stick into your molten hot roasting pan / tray (amateur!) breast up, your oven should be de-forming with the heat at this point. Give it a few minutes, flip it over, tits down & back in the oven, turn the oven down 170c or so. Cook until the juices are almost clear, not bloody, more like a cyst. Baste frequently with that butter as it melts.
That principal is 500 years old at least but done with heather up over, the guts go into the butter, too traditionally but.... Tastes fookin great!

[unstuck]

Hmmm, the wood pigeons will be at the berries soon, not that I would ever kill and eat one.:shifty:

[george formby]

Hmmm, the wood pigeons will be at the berries soon, not that I would ever kill and eat one.:shifty:


:drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::psst:

Pest they are round here I tell ya! Always nibbling at me plums.

Now, pigeon is a dark meat, go for the younger birds, baseball cap back to front & baggy crotches.. You don't have to hang a young un for long before they squawk. An older fowl maybe 4 or 5 days, tops. Most birds show their youth with pin feathers at the base of the wing.
Never cooked a native but the ones in Trafalgar Square offer up a lovely plump breast, norra lot of leg, though. So avoid plucking & go straight for the butchering, off with their breasts! Use bacon again, baste to your fancy & serve pink.

Your recipe for chammy would work wonders with goat.

Got a great recipe for Royal Kashmiri goat roast, 48 hours in the marinade, 6 hours cooking, melting moments on the tongue.

[george formby]

Oh, forgot to mention that you will have pert Indian virgins at your door with just a wisp of mustache & beautiful eyes, scented sari's & petals at their feet, offering anything for a nibble.

[Brian d marge]

Just purchased a food Dehydrator, fella on youtube has been making a ton of dried dinners , ie just add water which I’m keen to try , plus beef jerky and fruit rolls etc

Stephen

[unstuck]

:drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::drool::psst:

Always nibbling at me plums.

.

Serves you right for sunbathing nude then.;)

[george formby]

Just purchased a food Dehydrator, fella on youtube has been making a ton of dried dinners , ie just add water which I’m keen to try , plus beef jerky and fruit rolls etc

Stephen

Them dried dinners sound about as appealing as cup a soup.

But I would love a dehydrator, put my plums in it for one thing, me tomatoes, chillis, aubergines and other stuff I grow. Great for apple & pear crisps after they have been dipped in stock syrup, dry all your fruit for your morning muesli, filter some smoke into it for those delicious smoke dried chillis, onions work well too, sliced ones, dried & smerked.
You lucky man.

[Brian d marge]

Them dried dinners sound about as appealing as cup a soup.

But I would love a dehydrator, put my plums in it for one thing, me tomatoes, chillis, aubergines and other stuff I grow. Great for apple & pear crisps after they have been dipped in stock syrup, dry all your fruit for your morning muesli, filter some smoke into it for those delicious smoke dried chillis, onions work well too, sliced ones, dried & smerked.
You lucky man.

the dinners looked ok ....but the proof is in the eatin... ( i want to make some for my bicycle touring trips )

Im going to try , ( in a few min ) , a fruit roll ( banana yogurt and jam) ... Dried chillies from me garden and all of these tomatoes we were given ... lets see what happens

it was cheap , the machine , only 14000 yen nesco 700 w fan on top model

Even does me socks !

Stephen

[T.W.R]

Hmmm, the wood pigeons will be at the berries soon, not that I would ever kill and eat one.:shifty:

Wait until the berries start going off then the pigeons basically get pissed on the half fermented berries :lol: you can knock them out of the trees :msn-wink:

[Banditbandit]

Wait until the berries start going off then the pigeons basically get pissed on the half fermented berries :lol: you can knock them out of the trees :msn-wink:

Hey - you white fullas had better not be stealing our kai ...

[unstuck]

Hey - you white fullas had better not be stealing our kai ...

I dont eat at KFC or Mcdonalds bro, so no chance of that. :innocent:

[T.W.R]

Hey - you white fullas had better not be stealing our kai ...

:laugh: don't worry you're welcome to them.
Got one that comes here each season for the cherry plums, was telling a work mate about it and his eyes lit up; he's an ol maori boy from Ruatahuna up in the Ureweras told me all about what they'd get up to with the wood pigeons and how easy they're to catch later in the season :laugh: tried it with the one here last year and ha could almost poke the bugger out of the tree once it'd had a good feed...like a bloody fat goose flying around when it took off though.

[Banditbandit]

I dont eat at KFC or Mcdonalds bro, so no chance of that. :innocent:

:killingme: ...

[Akzle]

ahh. Breakfast.
Garden fresh spinnach, fried in 'erb butter, with venision sausages, homemade chilli-mato saus. And bourbon cola

[unstuck]

Red or fallow?

[Tazz]

And bourbon cola

Hope that wasn't a premix!

[Akzle]

Hope that wasn't a premix!

regrettably yes.
Hows the blade bro?

[Akzle]

Red or fallow?

regretably not homemade. Probably farmed red. Ill ask ze butcherman nekk time im there.

[Tazz]

regrettably yes.
Hows the blade bro?

You bring shame and humiliation upon your family drinking that crap. You better not have been eating off the 'red plate' as well otherwise that's just salt in the wound.

Still waiting for the fawker to land (and I'm going to be south when it does :mad:) Should have taken you up on your offer!
I only said that there is a 'package' arriving one morning while I'm away so there is going to be some interesting conversation when I get home hah.

[Akzle]

You bring shame and humiliation upon your family drinking that crap. You better not have been eating off the 'red plate' as well otherwise that's just salt in the wound.

Still waiting for the fawker to land (and I'm going to be south when it does :mad:) Should have taken you up on your offer!
I only said that there is a 'package' arriving one morning while I'm away so there is going to be some interesting conversation when I get home hah.

i represent only myself.
It wuz cheap and 5.3%.

Normally dont drink it because the sugar/fizz gives me cramp and acid reflux. But it was a long, hard, hot, moist, pounding day yesterday. And i was thirsty. So i gently twisted the ends and sucked a few down.

I thought you were gona come up and ride home.
O well.

[Tazz]

i represent only myself.
It wuz cheap and 5.3%.

Normally dont drink it because the sugar/fizz gives me cramp and acid reflux. But it was a long, hard, hot, moist, pounding day yesterday. And i was thirsty. So i gently twisted the ends and sucked a few down.

I thought you were gona come up and ride home.
O well.

Same thing happens to me man. Farked the lining on my stomach somehow. Couldn't even eat tomatoes or bread for a while. Doctor gave me some sweet pills last year though that help and are cheap. They have side effects though as I've noticed the voices telling me to cover things in gas and set them on fire have settled down a bit :wacko:

I was but the old fella sprung me with some dates to pick him up at the airport and I didn't want to take the risk being late as it turns out I may have blocked his car in his garage with a caravan and stacked a heap of decking timber across the front door, or maybe it wasn't me, I'll see if I can move it before he gets back and decide then decide on who did it :sweatdrop

Anyway, back to food. Just cooked 2 minute noodles in a minute and a half. Master Chef in the making.

[Akzle]

small spiral pasta (i was just after that kind of mouthfeel) cooked in thyme-parsely water until just *just* al dente stirred through blue cheese mornay, heavy on cracked pepper. Fried crumbed meat balls with tamogoyaki and spinnach-red mustard as salad.

The other option would have been chilli grilled chicken/turkey breast...

[ellipsis]

...fukn hell, you dont 'arf talk some drivel, son...

[Akzle]

...fukn hell, you dont 'arf talk some drivel, son...

you cunt eat drivel.
Tits or gtfo.

[Akzle]

chicken bacon burger from leigh takeaways. -decent.

btw. aucklanders, you have ruined matakana, leigh, goat island, tomarata valley and every where else you go when you're not in auckland.
go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

[unstuck]

chicken bacon burger from leigh takeaways. -decent.

btw. aucklanders, you have ruined matakana, leigh, goat island, tomarata valley and every where else you go when you're not in auckland.
go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

Thats why We moved from Pakiri to Southland, too many fucking aucklanders.

[Akzle]

fuck knows:
http://www.everywhereist.com/cilantro-vs-coriander-and-the-verbal-bloodbath-that-ensued/

[unstuck]

Had wild pork and mustard sammies, while sitting on top of a mountain for lunch. Does that count?:2thumbsup

[ellipsis]

...a girl up one of our valleys knocked over a swag of hares...I thought I was eating venison off the bbq but it was the hare back steaks...nice...

[Akzle]

Had wild pork and mustard sammies, while sitting on top of a mountain for lunch. Does that count?:2thumbsup
fuken oats. But im cutting carbs. Hope it was gluten free bred!

...a girl up one of our valleys knocked over a swag of hares...I thought I was eating venison off the bbq but it was the hare back steaks...nice...

fuken oats.
Bunny nuggets. Better than chicken. Panko and almond coating. Nomnomnom.
With plum saus.

[Smifffy]

Peri-peri eye fillet & peri-peri chicken on the bbq, followed by that thing in the lounge mentioned in the OP :rolleyes::devil2::no:

[unstuck]

You wouldn't of liked the hare I ran over on the dr today.:sick:

[Akzle]

You wouldn't of liked the hare I ran over on the dr today.:sick:

you ran over the doctor?

[george formby]

...a girl up one of our valleys knocked over a swag of hares...I thought I was eating venison off the bbq but it was the hare back steaks...nice...

Ooooooh Lawd!! Just had a twinge in me man bits. Hare is delicious. Back straps or cooked on the bone, legs confit'd in chicken, bacon or duck fat.
Used to make game terrines with Hare back straps wrapped in leek, tweeked with Dijon mustard & tarragon, down the middle of em. Put the heart, liver & kidneys in, too. No waste round here.
The fur off the ears makes a great fly for troot. Even better, hang the remnants of the carcass from a willow for a few days then trot a maggot down on a quill and #18 hook underneath it.
Bang for your buck I say.....

One thing I miss aboot Blighty, well, Scotland, is game. Used to have my pick of it. Roe, Fallow, Red, Sika, Goose's, Duckse's, Pigeons, Widgeons, Snipes, all the game birds, Slammin fresh from the river and the contents of my game dealers pocket for after work, usually from Morocco.

[ellipsis]

...any ideas for feeding a group on three spotties a courgette and five yams?...

[Waihou Thumper]

I saw a good programme where they pickled everything in white wine vinegar and it cooked in the acid.
It was like a stew but looked good.
Slice and dice roughly, use fennel, white whine and white vinegar, cook veges al dente.......cover for about 20 minutes, simmer, then try it.
Flesh of the fish should be cooked, should be sweet and taste great...

Don't quote me on this, I had a couple of beers and it looked good on TV with Mackerel..:)

[george formby]

I saw a good programme where they pickled everything in white wine vinegar and it cooked in the acid.
It was like a stew but looked good.
Slice and dice roughly, use fennel, white whine and white vinegar, cook veges al dente.......cover for about 20 minutes, simmer, then try it.
Flesh of the fish should be cooked, should be sweet and taste great...

Don't quote me on this, I had a couple of beers and it looked good on TV with Mackerel..:)


Sounds like sousing. Great for Herring & Mackerel.

Sugar & vinegar (acid) are fantastic palate stimulants. They make your taste buds go:banana:

Japanese & Chinese do the same thing. Crisp, pickled vegetables & sashimi is a meal made in heaven. Even better is home style sushi, cut nori sheets into triangles, sticky rice, seafood, veggies etc & just pile it up on your nori & roll it into a cone. Eat & dip. K'in great.

Kokoda, same principle but with lime juice then coconut cream.

I always finish my chilli or bolognese, dark sauces, with a bit of brown sugar & a cap or two of red wine vinegar.

Cooking fish like this do it low & slow. Liquor should not be boiling, 90c is more than hot enough. Slender fillets you can put them straight into the hot liquor & just let it all cool. Fish will be perfect.

[Waihou Thumper]

Forgot the sugar...:)
Was going to mention Sashimi....had my fill of it in Japan..
As well as all of the other delicacies to offer...;)

[Banditbandit]

http://cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/1310/eat-shit-its-ok-theres-cookbook-for-now-eat-shit-cookbook-demotivational-posters-1380771336.jpg

[Banditbandit]

...any ideas for feeding a group on three spotties a courgette and five yams?...

Matthew 14:13-21

[HenryDorsetCase]

Peri-peri eye fillet & peri-peri chicken on the bbq, followed by that thing in the lounge mentioned in the OP :rolleyes::devil2::no:

a blowjob?

[HenryDorsetCase]

I always finish my chilli or bolognese, dark sauces, with a bit of brown sugar & a cap or two of red wine vinegar.



interesting. I batch cook bolognese in the slow cooker and freeze it. I like pork and beef 50/50 and I've been using passata rather than canned tomatoes as its a bit smoother. When you say "finish" do you mean at the end, or before you let it bubble away for a few hours?

[Banditbandit]

I always finish my chilli or bolognese, dark sauces, with a bit of brown sugar & a cap or two of red wine vinegar.




When you say "finish" do you mean at the end, or before you let it bubble away for a few hours?

I let the vinegar bubble for a while - that really kills off any sour taste it might add - but not too long. And palm sugar rather than brown sugar can be better - depending on the meat.

[Akzle]

did t saus the other day. About 2 hrs on the boil. Garlic, ginger, capsicum and chilli. Start with 1 cup white vinegar, added a quarter about 10mins before bottling for bit extra tang. No sugar added.
Fuken oats.

Breakfast: homemade beef sausage with golden kumara, tasty cheeze, onion, chive and cinnamon in.

*fried in tomato-garlic bacon pan dripping.
Epic.

[Banditbandit]

did t saus the other day. About 2 hrs on the boil. Garlic, ginger, capsicum and chilli. Start with 1 cup white vinegar, added a quarter about 10mins before bottling for bit extra tang. No sugar added.
Fuken oats.

Breakfast: homemade beef sausage with golden kumara, tasty cheeze, onion, chive and cinnamon in.

*fried in tomato-garlic bacon pan dripping.
Epic.


Jeez mate .. how's your colestorol level ???

[Akzle]

Jeez mate .. how's your colestorol level ???

i turn that shit up to 11!

(fuken good, actually.
Doing this no-bread thing... The body is supposed to metabolise stored and dietary fat. I dont have any scales, so no measure, but my shit is greasier than a vietnamese whore on tuesdays, thats gotta be coming from somewhere (hopefully, my keg))

[Banditbandit]

Naaa .. that's the grease in your diet that is indigestable ... if you are eating well, your shit should be a nice brown and float in the toilet bowl ... if it sinks, too much fat, not enough fibre ...

The best diet every ???

Place food in a brown paper bag - if, after 5 minutes, you can see the food through the bag, under no circumstances put that food in your mouth !!!

[Akzle]

Naaa .. that's the grease in your diet that is indigestable ... if you are eating well, your shit should be a nice brown and float in the toilet bowl ... if it sinks, too much fat, not enough fibre ...

The best diet every ???

Place food in a brown paper bag - if, after 5 minutes, you can see the food through the bag, under no circumstances put that food in your mouth !!!

floaters? no way. THEY are indigestible fat.

also. i like bacon. hydrogenated bacon fat is the fucking coronary.


i did your test with a glass of water.. i guess i should strike that off the list?

[george formby]

I let the vinegar bubble for a while - that really kills off any sour taste it might add - but not too long. And palm sugar rather than brown sugar can be better - depending on the meat.

Yup, I tend to add my seasonings 20 mins or so before the end. Love palm sugar, too. It's well worth buying top quality vinegars. Much better flavour & you use less.

That sounds like a good spag bol. I like it 3 meats, with veal mince.

Traditionally a ragu, which a bolognese is, is a very long cook. The meat & veg is cooked almost to grit before any liquid is added. Which is why you should use pork mince with a decent bit of fat in it & some smoky belly bacon.

I've got tomatoes by the ton coming on & looking forward to making jars of sauce. Chillies, garlic & anchovies cooked in lots of olive oil till the anchovies crumble and the garlic & chillies are fryed, add tomatoes & cook very gently until it emulsifies, about 6 hours. Add maple syrup, Dijon mustard & Worcestershire sauce, simmer briefly, pass, bottle, wait one week then get into it.

[george formby]

Floaters? My turds wear life jackets, unsinkable. I've resorted to a stink blender more than once to get shot of them. Buoyant little shits.

[phill-k]

20mm thick homekill jersey scotch fillet hung 14 days dry aged in fridge for 5 days, cook rear, plated to stand for 5 mins with 10mm slice of canned Foie Gras on top. Don't even remember what we had to accompany this, other than roast potatoes.

[Banditbandit]

i did your test with a glass of water.. i guess i should strike that off the list?



Definitely. DO NOT drink water - fish fuck in it ...

[Akzle]

per cup of meat/veg

pan fry green curry paste : butter. 2 tbsp : 1.5
add meat and brown
add 1 sliced fresh chilli
add 1 packo curried chilli split lengthways.
Add 1 tbsp hot saus.
Add 3/4 can coconut cream.
Lower heat to simmer.
Add kumara (diced) and onions (i likem round)
and 1/2 jar of ax style t-saus (put 5 litres of tomatoes in a pot until youre left with 500ml jar worth. Add vinegar and spices, garlic, onions, about 1/2 hour before end store 1 month)
cover 20 min/till cooked.

Put that shit in your facehole.

[ellipsis]

...after doing a prawn curry last night, with a bag of tasteless, came from somewhere else prawns, I've had this vision of a big bag of banana prawns, a kilo or more,6 inches long and only cost me 16 bucks that I got at the market in Melbourne last year...it's been worse than the tune you keep whistling or humming incessantly, all day...

[SMOKEU]

SMOKEU's spicy potato wedges:

Cut baking potatoes into quarters to make wedges, and put them in a mixing bowl.

Add chilli powder, garlic, paprika, black pepper, salt to taste. Drizzle with cooking oil and mix well until wedges are evenly coated.

Place wedges in a single layer on baking dish with baking paper on it. Fan bake at 200°C until wedges are soft. Serve with sour cream.

[george formby]

...after doing a prawn curry last night, with a bag of tasteless, came from somewhere else prawns, I've had this vision of a big bag of banana prawns, a kilo or more,6 inches long and only cost me 16 bucks that I got at the market in Melbourne last year...it's been worse than the tune you keep whistling or humming incessantly, all day...

Not as prawny as some but more than others.. use fresh squid. Fresh, not them horrid bleached frozen calamari things. Make your curry sauce, set aside, sear your squid rings, chunks, bits for 30 seconds in a hot pan, smirkin hot & chuck your sauce over the top. Properly cooked ze fresh squid has a similar flavour & texture to cray fish. Jobs a carrot.
Squid eat crustaceans so taste like crustaceans.
7 / 10 on my yum scale. Maybe 8 with a good cold beer.

Wee's is having Navaho Green Chilli for tea.
Diced pork
Anaheim, Paprika & mystery chillies from the garden
Cummin, smoked Paprika, fennel seed, coriander seed, me own garlic & salt to marinade the meat

Sear ze marinaded pork, add chillies, chunky, diced onion, add tomato from ze garden, maple syrup, mustard & beer.

Simmer til tender.

Eat with rice, nachos or tortilla.

Recipe works great with possum, too.

Chuck in beans if you like to fart in appreciation.

[ellipsis]

...cool...had to eat possum as a necessity once...probably had a couple too many...like crays, cant eat them now, don't want to...

[Akzle]

...cool...had to eat possum as a necessity once...probably had a couple too many...like crays, cant eat them now, don't want to...

they make for good biltong

[Banditbandit]

Two quicky taste ones with shrimps - both take around 10 minutes max (unless you have to boil the pasta longer for the second one. )

Shrimp and Mushroom Soup

You will need -

1 plant of Asian cabbage (any kind)
Garlic
Ginger
Cooking oil
Salt and pepper
Sesame oil
Mushrooms (shitake are best)
Chicken Stock (I buy this in a cardboard box from the supermarket in about the right quantity).
Handful of cooked shrimps

Heat garlic and ginger (amount to taste - about a teaspoon each) in oil. When soft add mushrooms and let them cook. As they cook pour in about two cups of chicken stock and bring it back to the boil. Tear up the Asian cabbage and add, then add the shrimps. Add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer it for two minutes. Add a splash of Sesame oil in the serving bowls. Serves two with hot bread.

Shrimp and Capsicum pasta

You will need

Garlic
Ginger
One quarter of an onion (for two servings)
Red and green capsicums (I use half each to serve two people. I prefer red onions as they have a sweeter flavour)
Pasta (anything will do but I like it best with Fettuccine - and I prefer it with my own homemade pasta)
Shrimps (enough for two people)
Salt and Pepper

Heat garlic and ginger in oil in a wok or large pan. Add diced capsicums and onions. Put on water to boil for pasta. Cook the onions and capsicums while the water is boiling, until they are soft. When the water is boiling add the pasta and boil until al dente. Add the shrimps to the mix in the wok. When cooked, drain the pasta and stir it into the mix in the wok. Add salt and pepper and serve.

These are great fast recipies and you can add other things to enhance the flavours to your tastes.

[HenryDorsetCase]

new season apples are around so that generally means we OD on them but it also means quick cheap absolutely delish Tarte Tatin.

Simplest thing in the world.

get a bunch of apples and peel and core them and cut them in quarters.

get 125 grams of caster sugar and 150 grams of butter.

Get your dish. You can use a frypan (best are Lodge cast iron... I dont use nonstick). Because I am a flash prick I have a specialised Emile Henry dish but it really isnt necessary. You want something that can go from stovetop to oven though so no fucking plastic handles.

So, get your dish. Put the butter in the bottom and sprinkle the sugar over. Make a nice pattern of your apple quarters... go round the outside and then do the middle. Pack the fuckers in pretty tight.

Light a fire under that SOB. Not too high fairly gently. you want to form a caramel with your apples. Now turn your oven on so it is heated up for phase 2.... 180 C on bake

After about 20 mins yank the pan off the stovetop then plunk it into your oven. After 20 mins take the pan out and put a pastry top on that bad boy. Traditionally it is puff but you can use short. I buy the ready made ones because making pastry is a bit of an art, and a major faff, and if you buy the ones made with butter (delicous delicous butter) then you will get a good result. Put the pastry over and round your apples and if you can right up to the edge of the pan... that forms a lip to hold your caramel sauce.

after 20 or so more mins in the oven your Tarte Tatin is ready... the pastry is golden brown. Let it sit for a few then run a knife round the outside so it all comes out properly

To serve get a big plate, put it over the top and flip the whole thing upside down... so you have pastry base, caramelised apples and sauce. Serve with the best vanilla icecream you can afford. or whipped cream. Or custard. or all three. :)


you can do all sorts of variations to this basic recipe: Pears (or pears and apples) are really good. add other flavours (citrus... orange) and I have seen a recipe where it was flavoured with cardamom pods. ... though I havent tried that.

[Jay GTI]

...cool...had to eat possum as a necessity once...probably had a couple too many...like crays, cant eat them now, don't want to...

Ate a weka once. Well, I say ate, it was one bite and then fuck loads of spitting and washing out my mouth, eating other things with strong flavour to remove the taste, like soil.

Don't.

Ever.

[george formby]

Lamb Coughtas for tea, I make mine spicy. Last of the mince from the poor wee thing we knocked on the head last year.
Home made yoghurt bread & a fossick through the garden for accompaniments.

Yoghurt bread.

High grade flour
Olive Oil, the one squeezed by virgins
Natural yoghurt, the happier the better
salt

Dump a cup or so of flour onto the bench or into a bowl, add a couple of dessert spoons of yoghurt, a dash of olive oil & salt. Bring together to form a smooth dough. Amount of yoghurt is approximate, too wet? Add more flour. Too dry... you get the picture, it's a dough.
Roll out into side plate sized rounds, nice & thin, cook in a fairly hot skillet or on the BBQ hot plate. Bit like Naan in a hurry.
Oh, when it starts to puff up a bit flip it over & give it another minute. Wrap stuff in it or drizzle with oil & tear bits off for dunking.

[Akzle]

That reminds me of peach cobbler, hdc.
Move into the cuntry, eat a lotta peaches!

Which reminds me of:

fuken dutchy choc pud! (excellent tramping. use bread bags, shake to mix, easy to carry)

In 1 bag combine 2 cup flour, 1.5c sugar, 1/2tsp salt, 10tsp cocoa powder.

In 2nd bag combine 1cup sugar, 1c soft brown sugar, 1/2c cocoa.

Preheat dutch oven (spark up the dutchy, if youre that way inclined)
melt 6tbsp butter in, coat bottom and sides, add 1cup milk with 2tsp vanilla and 1.5 cups chopped nuts. Stir. Add bag 1. Stir. Sprinkle bag 2, tip in 1 cup water, bake long n low for 1/2 hr. Take off the heat, remove lid to cool for 10, then tip that shit on a big ass plate (or the oven lid)

enjoy it, knowing that youre going to get the best blowjobs ever afterwards (specially if youre 3 days in).

[george formby]

LOL. The way into a womans knickers is definitely through her mouth. Sounds terrible but YKWIM.

[Akzle]

LOL. The way into a womans knickers is definitely through her mouth. Sounds terrible but YKWIM.

physiologically correct...

[blue rider]

Apfelstrudel

with cream, vanilla sauce and ice cream on the side. And a nice cup of coffee. :drool:

[george formby]

Apfelstrudel

with cream, vanilla sauce and ice cream on the side. And a nice cup of coffee. :drool:

I'm a Black Belt at ze old Apfelstrudel but I draw the line at making mein own pastry. Bad enough buttering & spicing each layer.

I do like a nice bit of Stollen. And do make my own marzipan, alcoholic marzipan. Sorry can't find an umlaut.

[blue rider]

I'm a Black Belt at ze old Apfelstrudel but I draw the line at making mein own pastry. Bad enough buttering & spicing each layer.

I do like a nice bit of Stollen. And do make my own marzipan, alcoholic marzipan. Sorry can't find an umlaut.

you don't make your own pastry? Why?
but why the fear of the apfelstrudel Pastry (is more of an oil dough any ways...the stretching is a bit of a task, but not that tedious)

[george formby]

you don't make your own pastry? Why?
but why the fear of the apfelstrudel Pastry (is more of an oil dough any ways...the stretching is a bit of a task, but not that tedious)

Nail on the head. At work I would have to do enough for 40 portions, at home I have very limited space for chucking flour around & pinning dough.
Timos Filo sheets work admirably if not exactly authentic.
You could also say I'm to lazy:(

[blue rider]

Nail on the head. At work I would have to do enough for 40 portions, at home I have very limited space for chucking flour around & pinning dough.
Timos Filo sheets work admirably if not exactly authentic.
You could also say I'm to lazy:(

i would love to see you chucking flower...not sure why you would? :)

[george formby]

i would love to see you chucking flower...not sure why you would? :)

Good pastry or dough will always create collateral mess.

Shepherds pie tonight. Made from slow, rioja, braised shanks with parmesan & sage agria mash atop, studded with cherry tomatoes. Broad beans & honey baked puntkin.

[Akzle]

Good pastry or dough will always create collateral mess.

Shepherds pie tonight. Made from slow, rioja, braised shanks with parmesan & sage agria mash atop, studded with cherry tomatoes. Broad beans & honey baked puntkin.

needs m0ar spice!
Add some chilli saus!

[Laava]

fuken dutchy choc pud! (excellent tramping.

enjoy it, knowing that youre going to get the best blowjobs ever afterwards (specially if youre 3 days in).

Fuck you backcountry hicks are are close lot aren't ya?

[puddytat]

Ive invented a new way to drink real bean coffee seemingly.....:shit:

Well the coffee maker types seem to struggle with it & it does seem to fuck 'em up a bit.
Dunno why when its pretty fucken basic bro.

As basic as cold milk first ( with none of that fluffy frothy shite), expresso /plunger whatever method coffee equivalent to longblack & bingo....

Try it sometime. On your Barista.

Advantage is that especially with a takeaway you don't get that cup taste or all that fluffy air.
Disadvantage is that there's not a name for it.

My workmates call it a "Clintezza" but that sounds a tad naff for me
I'll split the lucrative TM rights with whoever

[Berries]

Are you on drugs?

[puddytat]

Yep...........

[mashman]

Ive invented a new way to drink real bean coffee seemingly.....:shit:

For a moment there I thought the above read as "Ive invented a new way to drink real bacon seemingly". Damn, I really need some drugs.

[puddytat]

I need more Shiraz .

Niederegger Marzipan'd be good too.

[Akzle]

Ive invented a new way to drink real bean coffee seemingly.....:shit:


try cold brewd coffee. 1cup ground stuf, 3 cup water. In jug, coverd with muslin or some shit, leave 12 hours. Filter. Then you can blend that shit like a motherfucker. 2 egg yolks, 1/4 cup coconut cream, 2tbsp raw sug and coffee to make up to tall glass, top with real vanillin icecream and get a straw into it.

[Akzle]

dredging the hell out of it.

shrooms (any variety you like :D ) with shredded prunes, in a homebrew lager reduction with carmelised onion, salmon, creme fraiche, and black olives on toasted ciabatta.
figjam.

[unstuck]

dredging the hell out of it.

shrooms (any variety you like :D ) with shredded prunes, in a homebrew lager reduction with carmelised onion, salmon, creme fraiche, and black olives on toasted ciabatta.
figjam.

Sounds like a disgusting meal, but a great laxative.

[Banditbandit]

figjam.



Fuck I'm Good - Just Ask Me .. (I do know that one ...)