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View Full Version : Harley Lovers - Need not look here!! (Anti-Harley Jokes)



Qkchk
24th August 2005, 17:07
Q: How is a Harley Davidson like a Porcupine?
A: Both have pricks on their back.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: If you leave them alone long enough, they'll both mark their territory.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Q: Why do Harley owners have tassels on their handlebars and clothing?
A: To be able to tell if they're moving or not !


Slow Down or Stop? The police officer had just pulled over a yuppie on a new Harley for running a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please..." the officer asked.

"What's the problem, officer?" the yuppie replied.

"You just ran a stop sign." the officer said.

"Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a single car anywhere in sight."

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and only then proceed with caution."

"You've got to be kidding me!" the yuppie said.

"It's no joke sir." the officer said flatly, pulling out his citation book and preparing to write a ticket.

"Look I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one, and proceeded with caution."

The officer sighed and slowly shook his head. "That's beside the point sir, you are supposed to come to a complete stop and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..." the officer began.

"You sure do have a lot of time on your hands pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed this early?" the yuppie asked sneering.

"SIR!" The officer sighed. "I'll over look that last comment now let me see your license and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop." the yuppie said, folding his arms across his chest.

A smile appeared on the officer's face. "Sir, I can do better than that." The police officer quickly jerked the rude yuppie off his Harley, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. "Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"


Top 10 Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave at Other Motorcyclists.

10) They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
9) They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
8) Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
7) The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.
6) Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!
5) They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
4) They're too busy figuring out how to pay for the next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).
3) If we really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
2) They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
1) They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.

****DISCLAIMER Hey they are just jokes and lets keep it that way........*** :Punk:

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 17:14
Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT




Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE


mmm.. harley.. lol

Beemer
24th August 2005, 17:24
LOL :rofl: - I like the pickup one!

I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 17:34
LOL :rofl: - I like the pickup one!

I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!

leather smells so nice though, might be my childhood memories kicking in. wait no i'm still a child *sigh*

p.s if i ever get a bike and its a harley i'll make sure i wave LOL

scumdog
24th August 2005, 17:44
LOL :rofl: - I like the pickup one!

I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!


Who says they take off the fringed leather? :wait: :woohoo:

What a waste of time!! :rolleyes:

C.B likes the tickle of leather fringes :msn-wink:

thehollowmen
24th August 2005, 19:04
Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT

Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE

mmm.. harley.. lol

I'll second that opinion

Waylander
24th August 2005, 21:12
Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT




Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE


mmm.. harley.. lol
Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?

scumdog
24th August 2005, 21:15
Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?

Only to blind chicks!! which in your case could be an advantage!! :rofl: :rofl:

No offence meant dude, but I couldn't resist it!!

Waylander
24th August 2005, 21:20
Only to blind chicks!! which in your case could be an advantage!! :rofl: :rofl:

No offence meant dude, but I couldn't resist it!!
Har har har .....

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 21:20
Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?

I had an older bloke from the city go on about his honda sounding like a harley. sadly its just not the same. least you haven't earnt a bottle round the head though :)

Waylander
24th August 2005, 21:23
I had an older bloke from the city go on about his honda sounding like a harley. sadly its just not the same. least you haven't earnt a bottle round the head though :)
Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.:devil2:

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 21:28
Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.:devil2:

I've been brought up around harleys and I ain't never seen them fall to bits lol

scumdog
24th August 2005, 21:31
Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.:devil2:

Nah, the cylinder angle, firing system etc means it would NEVER sound like an H-D (not that it would sound bad mind you, just different)

And I can scrape my pegs at an angle you wouldn't believe - my 14 yr old could scrape the road with his hands as we went around corners! :shit:

Waylander
24th August 2005, 21:31
I've been brought up around harleys and I ain't never seen them fall to bits lol
It's the older ones that had the problems. They've fixed them now but the rest of us never let them forget it.


Nah, the cylinder angle, firing system etc means it would NEVER sound like an H-D (not that it would sound bad mind you, just different)

And I can scrape my pegs at an angle you wouldn't believe - my 14 yr old could scrape the road with his hands as we went around corners! :shit:

So could most of my passengers. Sportsters sit higher up than most other harleys so you sould be able to lean hard. If I were ever to get a harley it would probably be a sportster despite what White Trash calls them.

scumdog
24th August 2005, 21:33
It's the older ones that had the problems. They've fixed them now but the rest of us never let them forget it.

The rest of 'us' never had a bike back then -or that old!!

Skyryder
24th August 2005, 22:45
Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE


mmm.. harley.. lol



So if I buy a Harley is that a YES :love: :love:

Skyryder

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 23:00
So if I buy a Harley is that a YES :love: :love:

Skyryder

Would be a no cause sadly I'm too ugly haha

scumdog
24th August 2005, 23:14
Would be a no cause sadly I'm too ugly haha

Harely + male + female = :whistle: :D :niceone:

O.K. it don't matter what your gender is, a H-D is like 500kg of Viagra!!

There ain't no such thing as 'too ugly' when it comes to sex and Harleys!

NotaGoth
24th August 2005, 23:22
Harely + male + female = :whistle: :D :niceone:

O.K. it don't matter what your gender is, a H-D is like 500kg of Viagra!!

There ain't no such thing as 'too ugly' when it comes to sex and Harleys!

ok i need me a harley too then.. lol

Virago
24th August 2005, 23:25
....it don't matter what your gender is, a H-D is like 500kg of Viagra!.......
Yes, after a half-hour ride, you're stiff as hell! :rofl:

My name says it all.......... :devil2:

scumdog
24th August 2005, 23:57
Yes, after a half-hour ride, you're stiff as hell! :rofl:

My name says it all.......... :devil2:

Hmm, Viragos came about AFTER Viagra, and AFTER H-D bikes were on this earth!!

Never needed Viagra (what is it anyway?) since I got my first H-D, "Milwaukie Vibrators" is what the girls call them.
I wonder why they call them THAT??

(Off to mop the seat on my Sporty)

inlinefour
25th August 2005, 02:50
On the seventh day God created the harley and on the eight day he traded it for something lighter and faster.

If riding a sports bike means I'm not attractive to women, so be it. More cash for more bikes :devil2:

Waylander
25th August 2005, 09:08
Yes, after a half-hour ride, you're stiff as hell! :rofl:

My name says it all.......... :devil2:
Hahaha Couldn't have said it better myself!!

Lou Girardin
25th August 2005, 13:04
Who says they take off the fringed leather? :wait: :woohoo:

What a waste of time!! :rolleyes:

C.B likes the tickle of leather fringes :msn-wink:

Try shaving.

Lou Girardin
25th August 2005, 13:06
, "Milwaukie Vibrators" is what the girls call them.
I wonder why they call them THAT??

(Off to mop the seat on my Sporty)

Because their riders are lousy shags. :rofl:

scumdog
25th August 2005, 19:53
Because their riders are lousy shags. :rofl:

No, but a good ride gets 'em, a kind of, ah, sort of hmmm 'wet'? :whistle: