Arrrrrrgggggggh!

[Biff]

Ms Biff received a phone call from her mother last night, they haven’t spoken for a while as her mother has been in Hungary for the last few months. They gassed on the phone for over an hour before I heard Ms Biff say, “Must go mum, I’m busting for a pee.”

Ms Biff then left the dining room for a pee, and promptly let out an almighty scream. You see she’d forgotten that before her mother phoned she’d begun running a bath, so the bath had been running for the last hour.

$600 bucks it’s cost so far for the emergencyfloodfixertypeguy to drain my hallway and bedrooms of 200+ litres of water & install industrial sized fans and de-humidifiers.

Wimmin – Can’t live with them and can’t sell them for scientific experiments.

[John]

Gutted, I did the same thing when I was doing the dishes I got side tracked fitting my new exhaust when I took out the rubbish, came back and the kitchen was a small lake, nothing a bit of quick thinking couldnt solve at the time, pitty I couldnt think quick.

Hope it doesnt set you back a hell of alot more :(

[DemonWolf]

doh!... just wait for the power bill from the hotwater? =/

[Jonty]

Shite!! hope you don't have neighbours downstairs!!! I remember a few years ago in our flat the top story toilet system was leaking and slowly rotted the floor boards. One day when the resident went for a "quick stop" they ended up sending the dunny through into our laundry!! lucky they weren't still sitting on it :no:

[Motu]

When we were on tank water most houses had a pressure pump - no water in a power cut.Some friends of ours had a motel and lived in a house on site.One day a fuse must of been tripped....the 3 yr old daughter went into the bathroom to wash her hands....no water.So she told her mum,and they went up to clean the units and flip the fuse back on.They came back after cleaning all the units to find the bathroom tap full on and the 5000gal tank emptied through the house.At the time I was working in the hire centre and had a frantic call about the flooded house - I raced up with our industrial wet/dry vacuum and sucked up as much as I could,emptying it over the deck,lucky it was on posts.

When I got back a couple of hours later,but before the boss - he asked me why I hadn't answered the phone when he rang.When I told him what I had done (they were friends of his too) we had a silent staring match,I wasn't backing down on my helping those in need.

[Beemer]

I can sympathise! My better half used to live in a place that had a Zip water heater in the kitchen. I was filling it one day not long after we met and had the tap on quite hard. As it was nearly full, I turned the tap the wrong way and water shot out the top and went from the proverbial arsehole to breakfast time! I was screaming out for help, thinking I was about to be abused, but all he did was stand there and laugh - then he turned it off and gave me a big hug and said "it's only water!"

He overflowed the kitchen sink in our old place more than once - he'd start doing the dishes and then hear something interesting on tv and wander into the lounge and just 'forget'. Couldn't exactly yell at him after my experience!

[Ixion]

Gutted, I did the same thing when I was doing the dishes I got side tracked fitting my new exhaust when I took out the rubbish, ..(

As one does. :motu: :rofl:



When we were on tank water most houses had a pressure pump

Softy. Water pumps indeed. Dunno wot the cundries cummin too.

Last year we had our water turned off by some workmen digging up pipes. Whilst it was off Mrs Ixion wished to run the tap in the bathroom wash basin. Of course, nothing came out , so she wandered off (as women do) to do other things. Of course, she didn't notice that when the workmen turned the water back on; the basin soon overflowed, and water started its inexorable progress through the house.

By the time she noticed half the house was awash. So she phoned me at werk, her first words " I don't want you to worry , and there's really no need at all for you to come home , but... ". Never heard the end of the conversation, by then I was out the door putting my helmet on as I ran. Ah well, wasn't too bad. Just went round to the hire place, and hired a big industrial wet vac thing and spent the rest of the day sucking away . Some heaters liberally dispersed and all was well. Can't see any sign of it now. Secret is to vacuum it all up QUICKLY before it has a chance to stain. And not have MDF flooring. If you do you're poked.

You can claim this on your house insurance you know.

[Sniper]

Hell Biff, thats not good

Does that mean you dont have to do as you are told?

[bugjuice]

lol.. that sucks big time! yeah, just wait until the power bill and water bill comes thru..
dank ü

[Flyingpony]

Consider your house blessed by the water gods!

Each house I've been in, the washing machine has flooded it's territory exactly once. Each time the cause was a cloth or something in the basin blocking the drain. The washing machine will fill the basin to about half-full and then proceed to leak through some hose connection joint.

My current house has already been blessed by the water god.
Thank goodness we've got lino and not carpet.

Interesting, never have flooded via a sink, but have been close once.


Ah, Zip water heater in the kitchen ... Remember the old days of Boy Scouts when it got over filled as Beemer shared. The more funny days was when it was slightly overfilled and switched on to boil. But instead of whistling, it'll be spitting boiling hot water ...

Horse.

[placidfemme]

Wimmin – Can’t live with them and can’t sell them for scientific experiments.

Not entirley true... I know a guy who has a friend who's fathers girlfriends uncles brother can organise an appointment with a collegues friend's brothers cousin who would be willing to buy her to test the latest make up's... more accurate then using animals...

[WINJA]

ONE DAY YOULL THINK ITS $600 WELL SPENT, STUFF LIKE THAT MAKES LIFE INTERESTING, MY PARTNER HAS LOTS OF LITTLE WHAT WE CALL "OH OHS",
AND B4 I CAN SAY TO MUCH SHE REMINDS ME THAT IT WAS ME THAT PUT MY 2 WEEK OLD $23,000 BIKE INTO A DITCH

[Biff]

ONE DAY YOULL THINK ITS $600 WELL SPENT, STUFF LIKE THAT MAKES LIFE INTERESTING, MY PARTNER HAS LOTS OF LITTLE WHAT WE CALL "OH OHS",


So true - in all honesty Ms Biff was shitting herself when she saw me sprint down the hall way to turn the tops off and to pull the plug (while she stood there in a daze). All I heard was , "sorry, so sorry, sorry". When I turned around she saw me pissing myself laughing and then she relaxed.

Hey ho, lifes full of it eh.

Thanks all. Cash donations welcome. Or PF - I'll take $600 for Ms Biff, no less, oh and some samples from the cosmetics company, for my *cough* neighbour you understand.

[dangerous]

I'll take $600 for Ms Biff, no less
$600 and my bucket racer.... take it or leave it :spudflip:

[scumdog]

$600 and my bucket racer.... take it or leave it :spudflip:

$600 and my tassled jacket....

[dangerous]

$600 and my tassled jacket....
$600 and my bucket racer...... and my cop detector :motu:

[scumdog]

$600 and my bucket racer...... and my cop detector :motu:

Hmmmph, me phoning you before I front up does not constitute a 'cop detector!! :rofl:

[Motu]

People do dumb things eh? And as WINJA says,they are the bookmarks of your life....

We had an old kerosine heater,and it was a bit cantankerous...smokey on startup - so I would put it out in the front entrance way with the chimney off and the door closed until it settled down.One day I forgot about it and opened the door to a wall of flame! I totaly lost it,running around like the headless chook...I found an extingishure,but it was empty,raced out to the shed and forgot my keys raced back in,back out to the shed,back in with another empty extingisher....shit it must of looked funny - because my wife was laughing! Her young brother had put a handful of flour over the wick....then they stood back to watch me panic.....

[Rashika]

$600 and my bucket racer.... take it or leave it :spudflip:


oye... :oi-grr:

she aint that cheap.....no way you give away the bucket!
Unless you killed it again?? :Punk:

[Biff]

oye... :oi-grr:

she aint that cheap.....no way you give away the bucket!
Unless you killed it again?? :Punk:

Yeah - you tell him Rashika. She's worth much more than that.

I was once offered 30 camels for her by an Arabian guy. He had three slices of meat on his head and a vibrator up his arse. I think he said his name was Shake Morehamhead.

:chase:

[Indiana_Jones]

<img src="http://library.thinkquest.org/18626/media/Bathtub.gif" align=r"centre" vspace="10" hspace="10">

Before.....................After

"Opps, Somebaby left the water running....." :sherlock:

-Indy

[inlinefour]

I bet she does not do that again. If I ever own my own home again the kitchen and badroom will have their own drainage system incorperated in the floor upon renovation...

[Rashika]

Yeah - you tell him Rashika. She's worth much more than that.

I was once offered 30 camels for her by an Arabian guy. He had three slices of meat on his head and a vibrator up his arse. I think he said his name was Shake Morehamhead.

:chase:
phew thats a small fortune...I'm surprised he wasn't able to twist your arm on that one....maybe he thought she was extra-special with her magic ability to produce water at such a phenomenal rate :rofl:

[Sniper]

I can offer an old box of weetbix, a conker and half a packet of milk bottles?

[TonyB]

They say bad things come in threes. So far she has backed into a car and flooded the bathroom.... wonder whats next?

[pyrocam]

insurance claim?

[Biff]

insurance claim?

Yup, I gave in last night. With the final bill for drying the house out continuing to rise there's no way I can comfortably afford to pay for the damage. So it'll only cost me $150 now, which is my insurance excess. Phew!


They say bad things come in threes. So far she has backed into a car and flooded the bathroom.... wonder whats next?

She wants to get married in January. Oh shit!!

[crashe]

Biff - I think Mrs Biff should join KB and tell us the real story of what happened..... Cos in the past your stories have been ummm slightly stretched out of preportion :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Blackbird]

Wimmin – Can’t live with them and can’t sell them for scientific experiments.

That's tough luck Rhod..

Mrs Blackbird cooked my Omega watch in the oven a few years ago...... don't ask :oi-grr: . Your quote is right on the money. Still, we've been married for 33 years so I must have got used to it by now...

Geoff

[Biff]

Biff - I think Mrs Biff should join KB and tell us the real story of what happened..... Cos in the past your stories have been ummm slightly stretched out of preportion :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

There's what really happened, and what Ms Biff would like to make you think happened, either way Ms Biff is the guilty party. As wimmin always are. :chase:

[Rashika]

There's what really happened, and what Ms Biff would like to make you think happened, either way Ms Biff is the guilty party. As wimmin always are. :chase:

......oooooooo I'm sooooo tempted....hold me back
...how about this instead :motu:

[Biff]

...how about this instead :motu:

Is it lubricated?

[Sniper]

Oooo, that sounds dirty. Can I video tape?

[vifferman]

I must be lucky. In 21 years of house ownership, I've had no floods. But with this fookn house, I've had more than my fair share of leaks. :angry:

Just finished plastering and painting #3 son's bedroom ceiling. Two days later: "Dad... I think you'd better come downstairs...."
Water dripping from the ceiling.
Climbed up in the ceiling - broken t-joint in the pipes behind the kitchen. Knee through the ceiling, big soggy piece falls down. Hmmm....
Oh well - means easier access to fix the pipes.
So, I fixed that up, re-gibbed/plastered ceiling, but procrastinated finishing it off. Few weeks later, there's another leak, this time behind the dishwasher.
Pull soggy ceiling down, fix broken crox (or however you spell it), replace ceiling, re-replaster and re-repaint.

Short time later - newly laid tiles in toilet are all wet and grout is cracking. "Hey - don't you guys know how to use a toilet?!?"
More investigation - pipes behind laundry tub are leaking. Crap. Pull tub out, cut wall open, replace t-joint, replace wall, replace tub.

Short time later - #2 son's bed is wet. Can't have pissed himself in the night - it's by his feet. Hmmmm... ceiling isn't suposed to have water-cooling. Pull architraves and tongue'n'groove out - leaking t-joint.
Fix that up, replace, and a few months later, same thing. FArk!! The other t-joint is leaking; this time it's my fault - I re-used a t-joint. Oops....

I've also had to replace two showers (and the floor/walls adjacent to them) because of leaks, and had two leaks in the roof, the latest of which leaked out through the lounge wall minutes after I'd put the first coat of paint on after having the lounge replastered.

Hopefully, the other sundry bazillion plumbing joints around the house are OK, coz new carpet's going in on Monday.
Shit - I've just tempted the plumbing gods now, haven't I? :confused:

[Sniper]

Hell yea, good luck Viff

[MikeL]

Years ago I had an upstairs flat, with the landlady living below. She had gone to Europe for several weeks. I managed to flood the flat, was able to mop up most of it but a bit concerned that the sodden carpet wouldn't dry out properly, so got a 2-bar electric heater which I angled over the worst part of the carpet. Went away, got distracted, forgot about it and ended up burning a hole in the carpet. So not only did I later have to explain why her downstairs rooms were so damp, but the burnt patch in the upstairs carpet as well.
At least flooding the bathroom is not going to damage the fixtures in the same way as a kitchen flood. Once a babysitter forgot she was filling the sink, and several hundred litres of water ended up on the bench, in the drawers and the cupboards, all of which were made of particle-board...

[WRT]

While Dad was still living on the island (after I had left to go to uni in town) he forgot to turn off the weather. The house was in a beautiful little setting next to the stream, which flooded something fierce. Reckons when it burst the banks and came over the lawn, it got deep real quick. Wound up with the water being 4 feet up the french doors, with arc's of water jetting out from the gaps between the doors. Fortunately the force of the water held the doors in hard against the jams, so not too much came in, but by the time it had subsided there was a foot of water across the floor. Was really lucky that none of the trees getting swept down the stream came over the lawn and hit the glass on the doors, things could have got really messy.

Incidentally, it went through our shed as well, and Dad found my trail bike (yam Xt200) with just about an inch of one end of the handle bars sticking out of the silt - still inside the shed . . .

[Rashika]

Is it lubricated?


for you....no way!

in fact that has given even more ideas.... but no, cant let this degenerate like some of the other threads i have read
you shouldnt get me started y'know :shifty:

[Sniper]

Is it lubricated?

You know, saying that combined with the title of this thread sounds dirty. I like this new strange sense of humour I get from KB :devil2:

[Biff]

for you....no way!

Good. Just how I like it :devil2:


in fact that has given even more ideas.... but no, cant let this degenerate like some of the other threads i have read
you shouldnt get me started y'know :shifty:

Go on girl, let your inner self out.
I know - practice on D. He likes :motu: , but he told me he prefers to be fast asleep when you try it. Unlubricated of course. :devil2:

[Sniper]

Go on girl, let your inner self out.
I know - practice on D. He likes :motu: , but he told me he prefers to be fast asleep when you try it. Unlubricated of course. :devil2:

Biff, you havent been reading his diary again? :clap:

[Biff]

Biff, you havent been reading his diary again? :clap:

D is the king of pervs. He's one of the ones you have to watch out for, because he's quiet about it, while I vent my pervyness here, so I'm all perved out when I meet people and walk the streets. In fact D taught me everything I now.

[Sniper]

D is the king of pervs. He's one of the ones you have to watch out for, because he's quiet about it, while I vent my pervyness here, so I'm all perved out when I meet people and walk the streets. In fact D taught me everything I now.

I see, so thats why when I met him for the first time I was told not to turn my back on him. He did offer me lollies though, was it bad that I took them?

[dangerous]

I know - practice on D. He likes :motu: , but he told me he prefers to be fast asleep when you try it. Unlubricated of course. :devil2:

Biff, you havent been reading his diary again? :clap:
No he hasent Sniper...... I think I muttered it in my sleep and he heard it, or may be it was that time we were so pissed and........ you know were I'm going with this :wait:

[Biff]

I think I muttered it in my sleep and he heard it, or may be it was that time we were so pissed and........ you know were I'm going with this :wait:

You dreaming of me again?

[Sniper]

You dreaming of me again?

Well I dont know abot you two :nono: