Christmas injuries (the funnier the better)

[Oakie]

So I was sitting at my PC half an hour ago doing KB stuff with my shirt off as it's been hot today. I had prepared one of the remaining festive fruit mince pie things (microwave 17 seconds) and took the first bite of the piping hot delicacy which promptly broke in half and released it's contents on my belly. The hot sticky sugary mess instantly stuck fast and started burning my pink belly which saw me running like a crazy man for the kitchen to splash cold water on my smouldering flabdominals.

Got me wondering if any of my two wheeled brethren had managed to injure themselves in an interesting or amusing manner while celebrating the festive season in this or previous years?

[Laava]

always blow on the pie. Safer communities working together.

[Moi]

Oakie, I'll let you know when I stop laughing - the mental imagery just gets worse and worse...

[frogfeaturesFZR]

Thank God you were wearing pants :laugh:

[SMOKEU]

I burnt my finger toking hard on the roach of a skunky ass J laced with hash.

[Gremlin]

Popped over to Rotorua on 29th Dec for some mountain biking with friends. Headed over to the Redwoods in the afternoon, last trail of the day, Roadside Challenge, I go over a big jump, over a small jump, but too quickly, and land into the 2nd small jump. Bad landing, off the back of the bike, but holding the bars. Used the brakes to stop, however, I landed on the seat with my ribs, right in the centre of the cage, bending the seat rails and somehow putting a massive bruise on my inner thigh as well (that only showed up a few days later - but I did wonder why it hurt).

Badly winded I limped/walked off to the side to get my breath back, but knew what was going on as I'd winded myself before. Mate came back wondering where I'd go to. Next two days of mountain biking (and everything else) hurt and was tricky.

Still can't do everything, and being tall, I can't touch the ground by simply leaning over. Pain in the arse. Been trying for the last few days to take it easy so the ribs get better faster. Haven't bothered with A&E as it's not exactly like they can do anything about it.

Oh, so the next day I had to drop by a bike shop and buy another seat, although the sales guy pointed out it was probably a good thing the seat rails bent. On the 3rd day, I then scraped up the back of the seat trying a wheelie and went over backwards... Rotorua is hard on seats :lol:

[Akzle]

it wasnt fuken funny, but i attempted some self mutilation with a timms trap.
Also managed to bite my tongue and lip in the same day. Coughing on the mean skunky bongs.

[Akzle]

Haven't bothered with A&E as it's not exactly like they can do anything about it.

get the scripts for some clofenac and codeine. Sell them to school kids down at the bus stop to get some coin yo.

[SMOKEU]

get the scripts for some clofenac and codeine. Sell them to school kids down at the bus stop to get some coin yo.

Fuck that, swallow the codeine! I find a dose of around 180-210mg to be the sweet spot for me when I have no tolerance. Codeine buzzes are awesome.

[Akzle]

see gremz, ya got a customer already...

[nzspokes]

Popped over to Rotorua on 29th Dec for some mountain biking with friends. Headed over to the Redwoods in the afternoon, last trail of the day, Roadside Challenge, I go over a big jump, over a small jump, but too quickly, and land into the 2nd small jump. Bad landing, off the back of the bike, but holding the bars. Used the brakes to stop, however, I landed on the seat with my ribs, right in the centre of the cage, bending the seat rails and somehow putting a massive bruise on my inner thigh as well (that only showed up a few days later - but I did wonder why it hurt).

Badly winded I limped/walked off to the side to get my breath back, but knew what was going on as I'd winded myself before. Mate came back wondering where I'd go to. Next two days of mountain biking (and everything else) hurt and was tricky.

Still can't do everything, and being tall, I can't touch the ground by simply leaning over. Pain in the arse. Been trying for the last few days to take it easy so the ribs get better faster. Haven't bothered with A&E as it's not exactly like they can do anything about it.

Oh, so the next day I had to drop by a bike shop and buy another seat, although the sales guy pointed out it was probably a good thing the seat rails bent. On the 3rd day, I then scraped up the back of the seat trying a wheelie and went over backwards... Rotorua is hard on seats :lol:

A&E would only confirm broken ribs and check you have not punctured a lung or any other organs that are vital for life. And they would put them back into place so they don't give you a lifetimes worth of pain. So no need really.....

Yes ive been there....

[Blackbird]

Been trying for the last few days to take it easy so the ribs get better faster. Haven't bothered with A&E as it's not exactly like they can do anything about it.

Same with me Alan :weep: On Christmas eve, tripped over the mat just inside our ranchslider and in trying to avoid squishing the grandkids scattered on the floor, landed awkwardly on the edge of the settee and felt a couple of ribs crack. Done it before falling off a mountain bike so knew I just had to avoid coughing and sneezing for a few days! Can still feel them, but not painful now :clap:

[Tazz]

Carpet burn on my face from some stupid game where you pick a box up off the floor without using your hands and then rip a piece off to make it smaller for the next person. Thought I could quickly grab it then front flip with it in my mouth. I doubt I could do that sober but it seemed like a piece of piss at the time haha

Last year I landed on my face trying to do a handstand into the caterpillar dance move thing and got cut in the same place.

Wonder if I can manage a trifecta next NYE :wacko:

[BigAl]

Burnt finger cooking the barbie at the Xmas work do, didn't hurt at the time maybe due to liberal application of medicinal ales.

Anyhoo index finger swelled up and got infected and painful when touched so bike riding was on hold until it healed, possibly due to constant application of said ales.:beer:

[Robbo]

[QUOTE=Oakie;1130657679]So I was sitting at my PC half an hour ago doing KB stuff with my shirt off as it's been hot today. I had prepared one of the remaining festive fruit mince pie things (microwave 17 seconds) and took the first bite of the piping hot delicacy which promptly broke in half and released it's contents on my belly. The hot sticky sugary mess instantly stuck fast and started burning my pink belly which saw me running like a crazy man for the kitchen to splash cold water on my smouldering flabdominals.



Geeze Oakie, you were lucky you had those "flabdominals" to catch the said burning substance otherwise you could have ended up with smouldering "unmentionables" which could have put paid to you sex life for the rest of your holidays. :whistle:

[Gremlin]

A&E would only confirm broken ribs and check you have not punctured a lung or any other organs that are vital for life. And they would put them back into place so they don't give you a lifetimes worth of pain. So no need really.....

Yes ive been there....
I figured if I had a punctured lung or the like, I wouldn't be standing and wheezing then walking off to the side right after. I have learnt they seem to heal better if you don't keep mountain biking or the like, and just take it easy. Been a semi boring few days, then you do something and it hurts again (was hauling everything back to Auckland today, so loading and unloading a quarter ton BMW - feeling the effects of that)... Haven't told the boss yet, but I'm back at work Monday. Won't be jumping under desks to fix problems, more like a very slow careful motion... :rolleyes:

Biggest problem I need to be careful of, I have a reasonably high tolerance to pain... so by the time I do visit A&E it's usually uh... bad :rolleyes:

[Oakie]

Surprised there have been no stories of tennis balls in the bollocks playing back-yard cricket.

[Banditbandit]

Not me .. but hey ..

Man shoots Santa Claus

http://news.yahoo.com/man-santa-claus-suit-shot-dc-pellet-gun-180636803.html

[MisterD]

Does injuring your back when being crash-tackled by a 3 1/2 year old count?

[GingerMidget]

I decided to make fudge, seeing as I'd been invited to miters family christmas lunch. All was going swimmingly until I gave it a stir as the furry wrecking ball decided to hug my leg. Splattered two fingers with boiling fudge and liberal applications of running tap and medicinal ale did zilch to fix it. One healed fine, the other is infected and making braking slightly interesting due to the pain in the joint.

There was also the time when I attempted to sit on a set of stairs at a christmas party, missed and hit the ground. Very large and purple bruise that stuck round for around 3 weeks. Not so fun. Though the application of free champagne certainly took the indignation away!

:rolleyes:

[nadroj]

Does injuring your back when being crash-tackled by a 3 1/2 year old cunt?

Fixed it for ya

[Skiwi]

Damn near amputated my big toe by dropping a full 9kg gas bottle on it :facepalm: And who's idea was it to put a nice sharp ring of steel around the bottom of the damn things?

I also intend to sue the makers of my safety jandles, they did bugger all to protect me:confused:

[Geeen]

I also intend to sue the makers of my safety jandles, they did bugger all to protect me:confused:

Were they the blue one's?? I know sparkies that swear by them......:lol::lol:

[cc rider]

My plane was hit by lightning

[T.W.R]

Were they the blue one's?? I know sparkies that swear by them......:lol::lol:

........... :shutup:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=292064&d=1389089357

[Gremlin]

How the hell are women supposed to wear that thong?! :scratch:

[Stirts]

How the hell are women supposed to wear that thong?! :scratch:

With the steel cap at the business end? :shifty:

http://i.imgur.com/qa48jfp.jpg