Alcohol, the cause, and answer to all problems

[tri boy]

:apint:
Post your best memory.
Mine was having my XR500 hidden from me, cause I was too smashed to ride down the Kuranda range after a hill climb.
Bars open, so spill muthaf**ka.

[haydes55]

Back yard of a friends place down in Christchurch, everyone having a few drinks. They set up a make shift speedway track. Got out their 2 scooter sidecars, a 70cc and a 50cc scooter..... 50cc had pole position for the start, 4 lap races, contact encouraged, no swingers.

The 50cc usually won pole and the 70cc wasn't quite fast enough to get the over takes without fair bit of barging. If you weren't leaning forward as far as possible, the rear wheel would get drive and you would wheelie into the garden (because no one used anything less than full throttle). Good times.

Same house same day, got towed on a mountain bike behind a 70cc mx bike to try clear a table top. Needless to say, I didn't clear it.

[skippa1]

:apint:
Post your best memory.
Mine was having my XR500 hidden from me, cause I was too smashed to ride down the Kuranda range after a hill climb.
Bars open, so spill muthaf**ka.
Went away hunting and a mate got really pissed, he got out of the tent for a piss( large 6 man tent) and whilst he was having a piss we turned his sleeping bag around 180 degrees. He spent about 20 minutes trying to get in the closed foot end. Funny as fuck.

[tri boy]

Oh, another springs to mind.
Trying to kickstart a semifriends TT after an afternoon on the piss, losing my balance, and pile driving the handlebar end through the stereo on the ground. (most expensive kickstart ever, cost me 800 aussie in the eighties).

[tri boy]

Oh another, losing the fr end on the GS1100 at the turn off from the fordell hotel, down the okoia hill climb after the annual sprints.
(the red Lion bit also, but time for others to spill)
Cmon spyda.....................

[Motu]

There was a fight out in the road, so I went out the back of this house to use the shithouse, because we didn't have one at camp. Sitting on the long drop there was a lot of beer to get rid of, and was pissing really hard on the front board, to get that sound y'know.....when I stood up I discovered there was no front board, and I'd been pissing on my jeans.

[tri boy]

and I'd been pissing on my jeans.

:clap:..........................

[tri boy]

Are all new riders born to be mild?
I know aunties with more entertaining recalls.
Is the gen y/z/whatever a bunch of pussies or what?
(keep ya drug stories, it ended when acid died out) or not.....

[Motu]

Driving my 1957 International AS110 one night, I came up to a corner and the brake pedal went to the floor...pumped it a few times, but there was nothing there. I couldn't make the turn, went down a short bank and ended up in some park...I drove around making a mess of the grass until I could make out the road again, and powered up the bank onto the road again. I pumped the brake pedal again to see if my brakes were ok, and then discovered what was wrong - I'd been pumping the clutch pedal!

[Mental Trousers]

Weekend long party. Mates sister went to sleep in the tent. The owner of the tent was leaving so needed it taken down. She wouldn't wake up, kept telling us to fuck off. So we waited a few minutes and took the tent down anyway, leaving her fast asleep in the middle of the lawn. She stayed there for an hour and a half. The photos were hilarious.

[Woodman]

Out at a pissup in the backblocks of the Westcoast late one night, and saw my mate was leaving with a load of people in his HQ without me. Ran and jumped up the boot and spread eagled on the roof, but he was too pissed to notice so kept on driving down a long gravel road with me hanging on. I stuck my head in his open drivers window and said "Hello Geoffrey" which scared the shit out of him to such a degree that he drove off the road and into a ditch which made me slide off the roof, crash onto the bonnet and then land in the scrub in front of the car.

Funny thing was that my mate got out and was hurling abuse at me while a couple of girls in the car were freaking out as they thought he had run me down. Took a wee while to calm them down.

Good times.

[Mental Trousers]

Different party. We'd sunk quite a few then used the empties to mark out an MX track in the back yard (huge backyard) and pull out the RD50 and do laps. One of them I came around the final corner, lost the back end, pulled the clutch in and ended up riding backwards. Missed the garden, the bbq, made it between the fold up chairs and shot down the gap between the house and fence, all backwards. Fuck knows how I managed it but it was harder getting out of there than it was getting in there.

[tri boy]

Only old feckers are replying,
Comon youfth, lets hear hows RTDs make you strong n clever.
Or are you all full of piss n wind.<_<

[Mental Trousers]

The night before my 21st we closed up the office at lunch time and got hammered. Young Geoffrey, all 6'4 and 150kgs of him got the munchies (no prizes for guessing why) so he wandered down to the Wendy's, only he didn't quite make it. He stopped outside, looked in at the food and promptly power chucked all down front window of the restaurant, right on dinner time.

[Mental Trousers]

I should leave this thread now, the wife might read a read a few she doesn't know about.

[SMOKEU]

Waking up in the morning after a night out with a chicken running around in the back yard. The chicken wasn't there before...

[Motu]

Us old guys were lucky that it was legal to drive and ride drunk, young guys have it tough.

We used to go to the pub for lunch...and the foreman would be there too. On night shift the storeman would have a shot of bourbon for you when you got parts...so we got a lot of parts...or the wrong ones. Sometimes he'd have a joint too. It got confusing at times trying to put something together that you pulled apart earlier in the day - I seem to be reliving those times these days....

[unstuck]

Rode an ag 100 around the isles in pricechopper supermarket in Browns Bay after a big bottle of southern comfert. Tried to jump 4 cars on my XL185 super farmer, only made 2 and a half, too pissed. Rode three up on an xs 400 from the shore to ranui and back, no helmets, none of us could stand properly, well and truley pissed. Plus many more escapades that could get me in trouble, so I will keep those to myself.:msn-wink:

[Mental Trousers]

Waking up in the morning after a night out with a chicken running around in the back yard. The chicken wasn't there before...

Did it have tape stuck to it's feathers?

[ellipsis]

...stories of pissed derring do's and craziness are generally a retro look at how imbecilic and stupid we were, tinged with about 0.001% real humour...like the time we took a heifer from a paddock and marched her a k or so to a dance in a hall...poor beast got on the slippery dance floor and went crazy, not sure if it was the lights or the music, but there was more shit in the hall than out in the paddock. Cringe worthy now, are most of these tales...

[SMOKEU]

Did it have tape stuck to it's feathers?

It didn't actually! It was just running around the yard randomly. Then I went to Pak'n Save to buy a 10kg bag of chicken feed which I carried home on the fuel tank of my CBR250.

[R650R]

Only old feckers are replying,
Comon youfth, lets hear hows RTDs make you strong n clever.
Or are you all full of piss n wind.<_<

Not really an RTD drinker but made a giant RTD once that helped end a mates relationship with his abusive control freak SWF type nutbar partner that he was too scared to breakup with.
She pissed me off when she said I wasn't allowed(seriously) to mix my (own) vodka with mountain dew WTF!!! So I poured half bottle of dew into 1/4 bottle of Smirnoff and rocked on..
A few rounds of vomiting later my mate refused to follow her orders to throw me into street as I was in a bad state.
About then she realised she wasn't number one in his life, the lads and bikes were. Sometime later she managed to remove the front door from its hinges with her violent outbursts I kid you not.
After he broke free non of us were allowed to divulge his new address to her.
Now he's with another one same and no bikes, must be a sucker for the S&M aspect...

Not my drunkness for this one but one guy worked with in UK was totally wiped out in Pub.
After noticing him missing we found him in toilets, a sorry site of vomit and the shits and unable to move really. We had to get him out before the bouncers saw how trashed the place was.
Lucky our sober driver had a landrover so the military style wounded soldier extraction out the back of pub was on.
The Landrover driver was a right perve and used to collect the Page 3 newspapers, his boot was stacked full of them seriously!!! I had to fight with him to sacrifice his papers so his own wagon didn't get covered in filth, like a scene from a tarantino film.
We got the fella home and couple guys stayed to make sure he didn't die in sleep.
Couple of real good ads for not to abuse alcohol!!!

So whose up for a drink lol.... yep booze you really don't need it.

[Woodman]

...stories of pissed derring do's and craziness are generally a retro look at how imbecilic and stupid we were, tinged with about 0.001% real humour...like the time we took a heifer from a paddock and marched her a k or so to a dance in a hall...poor beast got on the slippery dance floor and went crazy, not sure if it was the lights or the music, but there was more shit in the hall than out in the paddock. Cringe worthy now, are most of these tales...

Bloody hilarious at the time and great to reminisce with old mates. Just as many visits to A&E through drunken hi-jinx than there were from rugby and motorcycles. Mind you all three were closely related. Mrs Woodman can't believe we all survived (relatively) unscathed.

Again , Good times

[MIXONE]

Arriving home after a few only to forget to put my foot down.Splat,one CBX parked on top of me.:rolleyes:

[Big Dog]

Only old feckers are replying,
Comon youfth, lets hear hows RTDs make you strong n clever.
Or are you all full of piss n wind.<_<

Statues of limitations may not apply yet. Lol.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[avgas]

Hmmmm so many dumb things.
Probably the simplest one was I parked bike at back of garage so was out of way for party. Had a few with mates, and after they all left I moved the car back into garage......misjudged distance and pinned bike into wall.
Bike was quite durable (GB400) so not a big problem. But I also had to then fix the garage wall as the peg, side stand, handle bar all went straight through the gib board. Also the Mrs was pissed that I crunched the bumper a bit in her Corona.

Another time I had a few and thought it was burnout time on the RZ. Burnout went well enough until I got traction for some unknown reason and put the bike through a stop sign. The irony stuck with me for sometime.

The thing that used to always get me on the TS was when I was too pissed, I would sit on the bike and kick the fucking thing 100 times. Adjust the choke, inspect the fuel lines, turn the key off and on.......pull my fucking hair out and then realize the switch was set to off instead of run. It was actually a good sober test. Unfortunately now I remember it.

[BuzzardNZ]

Was walking home from a party with a few mates pissed as fuck, fell down a step bank and fell asleep in the middle of a gorse bush ( arsehole mates were so pissed they didn't know where I'd gone and fucked off ). Had about 1000 prickles all over my face and body.

[scumdog]

MANY years ago I woke up sprawled across the front seat of me '56 Mainline with a wet arse and a view of large willow trees, was sure I'd crashed into the river while heading home from the pub., started to get the shits up "what if it slips further into the river" stuff.

After struggling to get vertical very carefully I discovered I was parked in my drive with the door open and got the wet arse from rain pouring on me while I was joed-out across the seat...and the trees had always been there, just I'd never seen them at that angle before...:rolleyes:

[blue rider]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroh

Stroh Rum

80%
t'was an interesting night, once i remembered :devil2:

[Big Dog]

Walking home from my 21st after the obligatory 21 shots, or should I say staggering, it suddenly became apparent I was not making any progress relative to the footbridge.
After a due consideration it became apparent that there should it be a foot bridge on the way home. So I stopped to investigate this turn of events.
After a little careful thought it seemed reasonable that I was off track. For those familiar with Taranaki somehow I had ended up on redcoat lane.
So that was the where but did not explain the why. It dawned on me that it was unusual the stars were to my left and the bridge to my right. Stood myself up and returned to the main road and proceeded on my way.

I may have got home with undergrowth in my hair and gravel in my jeans, but I still got laid for my birthday when I got there!



Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[Ocean1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroh

Stroh Rum

80%
t'was an interesting night, once i remembered :devil2:

That's 80% content, not proof.

Is that still legal there?

I first came across it on a Top Deck tour. The driver, the courier, me and 17 women. The girls all ordered one at the bar, but only half of them drank it. That's all I remember.

I was on the piste bright and early next day so it can't have been too bad for the body...

[tri boy]

Trying to get from the bonfire back to my tent,
Circa1982/3/4/5...............................
Bloody cold kiwis.

[SMOKEU]

SWIM made some green dragon by mixing 60%ABV neutral spirit with a large quantity of cannabis leaf. SWIM said after 3-4 shots, they got tipsy from the alcohol, and moderately body stoned. SWIM said it was quite entertaining to watch their mates become almost fully legless and just rinse out hard on a couch or the back seat of a car looking fully fucked!

[R650R]

Here's something to make you go stone cold sober... http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10118997/Drunk-man-consented-to-sex
Wonder if outcome would have been same had complainant been a woman...

[Big Dog]

Here's something to make you go stone cold sober... http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10118997/Drunk-man-consented-to-sex
Wonder if outcome would have been same had complainant been a woman...

What would be proper etiquette should you find your self so compromised? Take it on the chin? Or rather let him take it on the chin?
Close your eyes and think of someone hot?
Make a mental note not to drink so much next time?
Deliver the good news about your change of heart with a knuckle sandwich?
Politely excuse yourself?

Most have had at least one coyote, or been the coyote. Heads up, if you have had more than one night stand under the influence and you have not had one you have been one. Do the rules change just because you hooked up with a dude?

Are the rules different if it was a two girls?
Why?

Is it not a bigger issue that he was being unfaithful? If not why no if gay marriage is ok?

Would he have still changed his mind if the other dude was any good?
Would he have changed his mind ins dry spell?

Questions like these are just another reason I don't drink much. I'd hate to find myself in such a state without prior knowledge of the proper etiquette.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[R650R]

So another young life wasted by alcohol.

If we can jail passengers and drivers of boy racer cars when the other car racing it crashes, surely it's time to charge everyone else at a party with manslaughter when someone binges to an alcohol poisoning death....

[scumdog]

So another young life wasted by alcohol.

If we can jail passengers and drivers of boy racer cars when the other car racing it crashes, surely it's time to charge everyone else at a party with manslaughter when someone binges to an alcohol poisoning death....

Dropping the so-called 'drinking age' to 18 years was a cluster-fuck manipulated by the booze-barons.

Note that the kiddie-booze sugar-laced shit appeared about then (Codys, Mud-slides etc).

All to target the 'younger drinker'.

[Brian d marge]

oh dear , I may have one or two to tell....

RG Gamma , tapped out , on that big long straight , near little river ... round the corner bit of frame flex hehehehehe I though , do that again ......went back

pinned it ,,drifted the rear ,,,,,,


then the rear hit the wet grass ,,,,,,,, and over we went ,,,, at or about 100kph.......

one side of the bike looked ok , the other side was munted

luckily the owner was a nice guy , I bled like a stuck pig all night , till the akaroa nurse patched me up......

the miserable moo

Stephen

[Oscar]

Drunk enough that I thought I could ride a (brand new) YZ465 at 2am in the 'burbs.
Got a hundred yards, mostly on the back wheel, no helmet and shorts on - the only reason I'm still here is I forgot to turn the gas ON and the choke OFF.
Woke up the next morning with a torn calf muscle which I didn't feel at the time when i slipped on the first attempt to kick start (or maybe it kicked back, I don't recall) - bothers me to this day.

My mates had me and the bike inside and the light off before the cops arrived...

[scumdog]

Honda 750 4 in the '70s

In T-shirt, short and unlaced leather boots - might have even put a helmet on.

Tapped-out in first 4 gears in a 50kph area in town.

Only luck saved a lot of us. (And a lack of traffic)

[Brian d marge]

Confessions of an alcoholic

ahh fk it Ill just do a list it will be quicker
bike Status reason;

Suzuki A100 written off , pissed and looking at a birds tits , car in front stopped

Honda Xl motosport written off back from party 2am forgot to have headlight on ....6mnths in wheelchair

CB360 written off Partying all day then went to a uni gig ,,, old lady jumped lights , bike into side of car , me into a shop window

A couple of cars into trees and one on its end in a drainage ditch ,,,, ( the bloody Hilltop was closed , so I tried to do a u turn ,,,)

ten years as a London DR , often pissed , and or stoned , may bikes came and went ....

Some notable exceptions,

Fighting at a party , went through window , free b and B at her majesty’s pleasure

Working at Honda in London , borrowed test bike Honda Bros , went to pub ....went home ..next morning picked up from my house for another stay at her majesty’s pleasure ... something about failure to stop and resisting arrest ....( dumb fker could catch me thats all )


Mini bike race down some stairs in a house in Camden North London didnt end well ......crappy workmanship on the stair well I think was the cause .....

Then I moved to Japan ......

been a good boy since then ,,,,

bent me nose a bit on some dumb arsed American forehead ......6 months ago

Woke up in the Nick after me and this jap fella hit the whiskey ,,,That was an expensive night lost my shoe ,,,,,,

Yup , since Ive been married , ive been kinda a good boy ....though me boy was on me case for arriving home with a beer glass in me pocket


Stephen

[Brian d marge]

Drunk enough that I thought I could ride a (brand new) YZ465 at 2am in the 'burbs.
Got a hundred yards, mostly on the back wheel, no helmet and shorts on - the only reason I'm still here is I forgot to turn the gas ON and the choke OFF.
Woke up the next morning with a torn calf muscle which I didn't feel at the time when i slipped on the first attempt to kick start (or maybe it kicked back, I don't recall) - bothers me to this day.

My mates had me and the bike inside and the light off before the cops arrived...

Loved those things ... a bit peaky though

Stephen

[Tazz]

Are all new riders born to be mild?
I know aunties with more entertaining recalls.
Is the gen y/z/whatever a bunch of pussies or what?
(keep ya drug stories, it ended when acid died out) or not.....

Young dudes still have plenty of stories and get up to enough shit, they're just not so old they feel like looking back on it all yet :bleh:

Acid died out?

[FJRider]

:apint:
Post your best memory.


I have NO memory of such instances of drunken incidents of my misfortune ... :innocent:

Such are the benefit of consuming excess alcohol ... :yes:

AND ... if no pictures were taken (or produced/survived) ... it didn't happen .. :whistle:

[unstuck]

Acid died out?

Still alive and going strong, I highly recommend a strawberry.:Punk::Punk:


Oh yeah, FUCK ALCOHOL.:sick:

[Oakie]

...stories of pissed derring do's and craziness are generally a retro look at how imbecilic and stupid we were, tinged with about 0.001% real humour...like the time we took a heifer from a paddock and marched her a k or so to a dance in a hall...poor beast got on the slippery dance floor and went crazy, not sure if it was the lights or the music, but there was more shit in the hall than out in the paddock. Cringe worthy now, are most of these tales...

Local farmer in Twizel returning from somewhere had a ram in the back of his truck. Thought he'd stop at the pub for a bevvy on the way home and decided it would be fun to walk the ram in too. Unfortuntely once inside, the ram spied his reflection on a large window that went to ground level. The ram charged the window and mayhem ensued.

[ellipsis]

Take,
1x RX2
Me and three mates. (Two gone now)
Mid seventies
The Square, Christchurch
A couple of bottles of rum, lots of piss, an oz or two...all consumed prior to deciding that reversing, full tit through Chancery Lane would be the right thing to do...
...reversed into a mufti HQ full of Demons at the other end of Chancery Lane...they were not amused...asked everybody to vacate the jam jar...I didn't...I was in the back trying to stuff a bag of pot under the back seat but I couldn't...wouldn't fit...a demon comes back to tell me to hurry up and it's my arch enemy Dave, a recent uniform, but on his way up in the force...we had some big history and I had done a bit of waiting time in Addington prison because of this prick...I also had to buy him a new uniform at an earlier period, 'cos you were not allowed to drop a cop and take his shiny buttons and shit...Dave saw my face, beamed a big smile and went back to his senior and I heard him say...I know the bloke in there, he isn't pissed, I'll get him to drive them out of here...

...Thank you Dave... I drove us out of there...but not far enough...we went as far as the 'happy brick', a pub not too far out of the square...drunk more piss...went back to the square and decided that reversing around the footpath of the square would be the thing to do...got a fair way around before we were being chased by a uniform on foot...we slipped into a car park and when he apprehended us, we told him...'It wasn't us'...he called us 'fibbers' and we were arrested...when we got to central, they decided that only one person could be charged so the vehicle owner took that and we other three were released...with his car...that was just the start of a weekend of seventies debauched piss pot and acid...like most of them...I dont harp on about youth and boy racers and modern kids...I was worse than a whole heap of them put together...all fired up with rocket juice...they are soft though...

[avgas]

Here's something to make you go stone cold sober... http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10118997/Drunk-man-consented-to-sex
Wonder if outcome would have been same had complainant been a woman...
Crabs in ya mustache.