Rugby Quotes - No Brains Required

[YellowDog]

"Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - (Jono Gibbs - Chiefs)

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - (Rodney So'ialo - Hurricanes) on University

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - (Colin Cooper - Hurricanes head coach)

Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt : "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito

Kevin Senio (Auckland), on Night Rugby vs Day Games "It's basically the same, just darker."

David Nucifora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don't know and I don't care.'

David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first."

"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago"(Murray Mexted)

"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Ma'a Nonu)

"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." ( Murray Mexted)

"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Phil Waugh-Waratahs)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Jerry Collins)

"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Tony Brown)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Tana Umaga)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." (Doc Mayhew)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Anton Oliver)

"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." ( Murray Mexted)

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ewan McKenzie)

Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Tana Umaga: "On what?"

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."( Murray Mexted)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."(Murray Mexted)

[ellipsis]

...classic one liners...ya couldn't get better than that shit...

[Mental Trousers]

Mexted came out with some gold over the years :laugh:

[frogfeaturesFZR]

I remember a Mex quote
Mehrtens loves it when another player comes inside him ( should have added 'on the cut' )

[Hitcher]

Unfortunately none of the people named made any of those quotes. This is an American meme that was New Zealandised about a decade or so ago.

http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=101;t=000270;p=0

Notwithstanding its erroneous provenance, it's still good for a laugh.

[MIXONE]

My favourite Mex quote was when he was talking about the new grass on the pitch and described it as "well rooted".

[Laava]

Unfortunately none of the people named made any of those quotes. This is an American meme that was New Zealandised about a decade or so ago.

http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=101;t=000270;p=0

Notwithstanding its erroneous provenance, it's still good for a laugh.

Now stop that!
Give us back our fun!

[Maha]

''Andrew Mertens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside him'' (Mexted)
''We don't like seeing the big guys go down on hookers like that'' (Mexted)

[jim.cox]

Rugby is a game played by gentlemen with oddly shaped balls

[Hitcher]

Here's the definitive list of Murray Mextedisms:

"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago"

"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play."

"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better."

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

"There's a couple of Hores on display tonight" (the brothers Charlie Hore (Highlanders) and Andrew Hore (Hurricanes) playing on opposing teams)

"As you know, I've been pumping Marty Leslie for a couple of years now."

"You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."

"This game is a white wash, but the All Blacks are black, these no white teams!"

"I haven't had a knee operation on any other part of my body."

"He's looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline."

"Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'"

"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."

"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him"

"Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."

"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"

"Its all tied up at 14-13"

"Trapped like a shag on the rocks" (RWC07 Georgia vs Argentina)

"He ran like a bat" (RWC07 Georgia vs Argentina)

“There’s lots of hooters over here Nisbo.”

"He who hesitates......is lost."

"Both sides are here to play rugby."

A Sky TV producer was conducting a sound test before the last Springbok test at Carisbrook...

"Murray can you hear me?....Murray can you hear me?" Murray: "No."

"The turf here (Newlands) never took properly and it isn't very well rooted...in fact you could say it is rooted.....did I just say that?". (N.B. rooted means something similar to screwed, a root in New Zealand/Australian slang means sex)

"Paul Tito looked like a blind man in a brothel, just left groping."

"The lineouts of course are a great artform, I've always fantisized about lineouts, even in my sleep sometimes..."

"Well it was a great kick. We know Matthew Cooper's got tremendous rhythm now, he's smooth, smooth as a baby's bum... By Joves, that didn't slip out did it?"

"It's very easy to be exposed as an open side (flanker) if you don't have your mate up your backside"

"Well it still does it for me, the tingle up the spine, the tingle in the loins"

"Isn't that an interesting scene, the two coaches, Nick Mallett and John Hart. By Joves times have changed haven't they. In the old days they'd be punching each other in that position." - (The two former coaches of the respective South African and New Zealand rugby teams were shown seated together in a grandstand).

After a 2005 British & Irish Lions series match, talking about referee Stuart Dickinson, Tony Johnson states "Stuart Dickinson had far too much to say in this match", then Murray replies "Stuart Dickinson's a bit of a dick, I think"

"And he kicks it with his left-handed foot"

Eleven minutes into the Wellington versus Canterbury game 2009 Murray announced "There's a lot to happen in this game yet"