Job to make life easier

[scumdog]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

And still get the same pay.

Oh that's right, I forgot, I just write out tickets for innocent motorists who NEVER speed etc...neh, silly old me!!

Rant over, I still love the job!!

[Ixion]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

And still get the same pay.

Oh that's right, I forgot, I just write out tickets for innocent motorists who NEVER speed etc...neh, silly old me!!

Rant over, I still love the job!!

Have you thought of becoming a librarian ?

[scumdog]

Have you thought of becoming a librarian ?

Did once but feared the excitement would kill me!!

BTW And a drunken idiot in out town was doing skids'n'donuts in a light truck, lost it and ploughed into out local library and moved a shit-load of wall,books and bricks this weekend. :doh:
Could not quite explain how it 'went wrong' when he sobered and I bailed him.

[zadok]

Join the Prisons over here!? Police catchum, we keepum; easy.

[Waylander]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

And still get the same pay.

Oh that's right, I forgot, I just write out tickets for innocent motorists who NEVER speed etc...neh, silly old me!!

Rant over, I still love the job!!
Could always be a Communications Surveyist.

[scumdog]

Could always be a Communications Surveyist.


The pay! The pay! Bass.. the pay! (from Fantasy Island, old folks will remember it)

Does a CS pay as good as the police?

And will I still get the same adrenaline buzz?? (and pain?)

[Waylander]

The pay! The pay! Bass.. the pay! (from Fantasy Island, old folks will remember it)

Does a CS pay as good as the police?

And will I still get the same adrenaline buzz?? (and pain?)
Fuck no. Shit be lucky if I can keep enough gas in the beast to even get to work, and about to burn it up in a prompto ride.

[scumdog]

Fuck no. Shit be lucky if I can keep enough gas in the beast to even get to work, and about to burn it up in a prompto ride.
Impromptu is the word I think you're looking for!!!

Hell, I can afford the gas - but it's only a mile to work so I walk it most of the time.

Not worth putting the leathers on 'cos I'd be at work walking in the same time!!

[RiderInBlack]

Bummer WE Dude.

Will try to remember that next time I get stopped and think the cop is have a bad hair day. He/she is most definitely has had worse things than bad hair to worry about, aye.

[placidfemme]

Bummer WE Dude.

Will try to remember that next time I get stopped and think the cop is have a bad hair day. He/she is most definitely has had worse things than bad hair to worry about, aye.

hell yeah some cops go through absolute shit... *does not envy your job*

[Jantar]

We have a vacancy at work right now. High paying and almost all the other things you're looking for, EXCEPT..... It is still shift work. :rofl:

[WRT]

My mates just doing the training at the moment, hes had the prob of going from a job in IT (good pay) to being a cadet (shite pay). In the run up I remember he was saving as hard as he could to pay off any debts so he wouldnt have them when he took the pay cut.

He's just done 60 hours work experience with his station and is now on holiday for a week before heading back down to Porirua to finish the training. From some of the stories he's been telling us, it sounds pretty full on. Dont envy him at all (or any of the cops - its not a job for me) but he's loving it so far. Dirty job, but someones got to do it . . .

So chin up mate, some of us realise you are doing a hard job without a huge amount of recognition!

[Riff Raff]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

Become an Ambo - then at least you have two less things to do: no writing tickets and no trying to find your gunsight in the dark (lying in the ditch is still a possibility tho). And we'll substitute picking up the pieces of drunken twats instead of chasing them. Sometimes it gets to you, eh!

[bugjuice]

it actually sounds like fun.. but then I'm distorted like that.. least you're not stuck in an office all the time

I heard about a friend of a friend who's been in the force for about 6 months now, and he's in undercover stuff which I can only describe as 'movie' style stories coming back.. I know it's far from Hollywood, but it's hardly the 'run of the mill' day jobs.. Not for the faint hearted, that's for sure!

[**R1**]

Drug dealer?? all the cotacts you have made on the job could fully help you out, all you need to do is keep ya uniform confiscate some P and make all the twats you have busted sell it for you, you get to kick back in the lazyboy and watch the $$$$$ roll in....I bet the money is heaps better than what your on now.


You could be a drug runner like in the movies but ya going to have to get something that actualy goes fast.:motu:

[scumdog]

Drug dealer?? all the cotacts you have made on the job could fully help you out, all you need to do is keep ya uniform confiscate some P and make all the twats you have busted sell it for you, you get to kick back in the lazyboy and watch the $$$$$ roll in....I bet the money is heaps better than what your on now.


You could be a drug runner like in the movies but ya going to have to get something that actualy goes fast.:motu:

Hmm, doing the first suggestion would probably end up a bit like my present job - except I would be lying in a ditch looking up at some other dudes gun-sight and hoping HE couldn't see it!

And I've got something that actually goes fast -just not subtle though!

[**R1**]

Hmm, doing the first suggestion would probably end up a bit like my present job - except I would be lying in a ditch looking up at some other dudes gun-sight and hoping HE couldn't see it!

And I've got something that actually goes fast -just not subtle though!aahhh yes the cages, keen for a blast in one of those, whats ya best 1/4 time and speed?

[scumdog]

aahhh yes the cages, keen for a blast in one of those, whats ya best 1/4 time and speed?

Best for the 'Lorry" is 13.9sec @ 106mph - not as fast as a lot of scoots but hey, would carry a lot more drugs eh?

And best official top speed 131mph (have got to higher speeds 'unofficialy')

[James Deuce]

My nephew wants to be a "poo-sucker man". i.e drive a septic tank waste extraction system truck. Can't worry about getting in the shit if you're already in it , can you? Supply and demand too. How many people really, really want to be a "poo sucker man"?

You could charge what you want and drive around the country in a truck no one wants to crash in to.

Got to be low stress and there's always a need to suck poo from septic tanks.

[Dadpole]

I thought my job(s) sucked, but after seeing the life of a "poo-sucker man" ....

"We don't know how lucky we are mate.."

Scumdog: You know you would miss it if you quit.

[Lou Girardin]

You bloody love it.
You just needed some attention, didn't you? Poor diddums.
You could earn 3 or 4 times as much selling photocopiers, but the customer is always right, unlike your job. :violin:

[scumdog]

You bloody love it.
You just needed some attention, didn't you? Poor diddums.
You could earn 3 or 4 times as much selling photocopiers, but the customer is always right, unlike your job. :violin:

Selling photocopiers? - hmmm would have to be even more polite to those customers, no thanks, :rofl:
And I'd have to live in 'Capitol City', no thanks.
And I'd have to find something else for exitement at work.
AND it would deprive you of somebody to have a 'go' at! :devil2: (don't tell me you have a 'go' at photocopier salesmen too???)



My rant was just me letting off steam, too bad y'all had to wear it though!

[Biff]

How about getting a job in a motorbike shop? Talk guff all day to punters, play around on the internet baiting cops.

Don't know what the pay is like, but at at least the most dangerous aspect of the job is the risk of getting a paper cut.

[Waylander]

How about getting a job in a motorbike shop? Talk guff all day to punters, play around on the internet baiting cops.

Don't know what the pay is like, but at at least the most dangerous aspect of the job is the risk of getting a paper cut.
OI oi!!! Bad enough I have to compete with Indy for that job, don't try getting Scumdog to go for it too.

[**R1**]

Best for the 'Lorry" is 13.9sec @ 106mph - not as fast as a lot of scoots but hey, would carry a lot more drugs eh?

And best official top speed 131mph (have got to higher speeds 'unofficialy')Not to shabby for a cage, the R1 has done 10.02 @ 137mph...if only i had wheelie bars i recon it would do 9's..


So when you bringing up? we can go play with the boy racers and there tin pot heaps of shit.

[scumdog]

Just been told my drink-drive runner got $1,500 fine and 2 years disqualification, ah well, thems the chances you take when you do a runner. :devil2:

[XTC]

You should get a job like mine.... Still shift work but I would hazard a guess that it pays more just for watching a machine make bottles for 12 hours a day. Gets hot but that's about it... Oh and we can stretch our 30min breaks out to 45mins..... and no one complains.

[scumdog]

You should get a job like mine.... Still shift work but I would hazard a guess that it pays more just for watching a machine make bottles for 12 hours a day. Gets hot but that's about it... Oh and we can stretch our 30min breaks out to 45mins..... and no one complains.

Have they got a factory at the bottom of the South Island??

[XTC]

Have they got a factory at the bottom of the South Island??
No the only glass bottle factory is in Auckland...... Would prefer if it was down your way tho.

[Phurrball]

My nephew wants to be a "poo-sucker man". i.e drive a septic tank waste extraction system truck. Can't worry about getting in the shit if you're already in it , can you? Supply and demand too. How many people really, really want to be a "poo sucker man"?

You could charge what you want and drive around the country in a truck no one wants to crash in to.

Got to be low stress and there's always a need to suck poo from septic tanks.

:Offtopic: I know...

but one of those poo sucker trucks exploded right in the middle of downtown Dunedin a few years back...spectacular picture in the ODdiTy. Occupational hazard when working with large volumes of poo-gas I guess.

I guess that in SD's line of work it is a different grade of scum that is dealt with: possibly a little less cultured on occasion...

[Lou Girardin]

(don't tell me you have a 'go' at photocopier salesmen too???)


No, but I've seen enough of them. A really different breed. But it's a laugh seeing salesmen compete to have the latest, greatest fuck-off supercar. (or trophy blonde)

[mikey]

should of forked out a few extra dollars an got ivory sights

[mstriumph]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

And still get the same pay.

Oh that's right, I forgot, I just write out tickets for innocent motorists who NEVER speed etc...neh, silly old me!!

Rant over, I still love the job!!

:grouphug: I think someone needs a hug :hug:

[jimbo600]

All you buggers do a bang up job mate. We only get to see the vitriol that's printed in the media.

Got your leave plan in yet? Won't get CSI without it.......!

[madboy]

Just been told my drink-drive runner got $1,500 fine and 2 years disqualification, ah well, thems the chances you take when you do a runner. :devil2:Shit, just as well I don't drink and do runners... that's expensive.

To be honest, were it not for the hypocrisy I'd be forced into spouting, I'd quite like to do something interesting like police work. Just can't afford the pay cut and future earning potential. Hell, $60k at 40 yrs of age I'd be struggling to fund the toys.

If you could stomach it, a corporate job is what you want. Unlimited high-speed internet (although we aren't allowed any p*rn on our computers, you might miss that), a nice desk, workmates you can't punch, clients you can't have fall over and headbutt your knee (repeatedly), subordinates to do your work for you and nice 10am to 4pm Mon-Fri working hours, except Wednesdays when you have to lose a game of golf to your boss.

[thehollowmen]

:Offtopic: I know...

but one of those poo sucker trucks exploded right in the middle of downtown Dunedin a few years back...spectacular picture in the ODdiTy. Occupational hazard when working with large volumes of poo-gas I guess.

I guess that in SD's line of work it is a different grade of scum that is dealt with: possibly a little less cultured on occasion...

I was driving in frount of it .. heard all the comotion.. gawd aweful racket. Was just outside the leviation on the one way heading north.

Scumdog - you've got huge amounts of respect from me for doing what you do.

[Lou Girardin]

9 injured including the mouth-breathers in the Pontiac. But who said it was drink-driving?

[Kickaha]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).



Harden up you soft bastard, I reckon people would pay good money to experience stuff like that, perhaps you turn it into a new tourist venture "Scumdog Adventure tours" :yes:

[vfrboy]

The guy involved in the CHCH crash that the cops were interested in died today so I guess one less idiot in the world. Having worked with the cops when I was in the Airforce doing drug recovery and hearing some stories I can say I don't envy your jobs at all, having to put up with the scum of life and all. Also did a stint as a prison officer when they were on strike and thats another job I wasn't keen on, especially when I was 19.

[stanko]

Do you like the authority bit? What about a fisheries officer, customs dude (contraband for africa , Tv appearence), parking nazi, the shit sucker sounds good but you want to own the suck truck not run it. Shit jobs is where the money is, tons of peeps make real good money in jobs that careers advisors have never heard of. My dream job would be in the line of drug testing. Id love to be a cop too - just for a couple of days though, then the security of my shit 4 days a week job would make me come to my senses.

[Jantar]

While researching the current Job Market to get an idea of what sort of ad we'll need to attract the right sort of applicant for our vacancy we came across what would be THE PERFECT JOB. The only trouble is our manager is scared that almost every guy in our team will apply for it.

The Job? Well its so good that instead of them paying me, I'd be prepared to pay them.

Its for a ....





Lingerie, Sales Consultant. :rofl: :rofl:

[Lou Girardin]

While researching the current Job Market to get an idea of what sort of ad we'll need to attract the right sort of applicant for our vacancy we came across what would be THE PERFECT JOB. The only trouble is our manager is scared that almost every guy in our team will apply for it.

The Job? Well its so good that instead of them paying me, I'd be prepared to pay them.

Its for a ....





Lingerie, Sales Consultant. :rofl: :rofl:


Are you free Mr Jantar?
There's an 18 stone heffalump who needs fitting for a bra.

[MSTRS]

A LETTER FROM A POLICEMAN
Dear Mr./Mrs. Citizen
Well, I guess you have figured me out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I'm stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I am the lousy cop.
Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true. I can never figure you out. From birth you teach your children that I am a person to beware of. Then, you are shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy....The criminal.
You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something wrong.You take an hour lunch, and several coffee breaks each day, then, point me out as a loafer if you see me have just one cup.
You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals at noon with your troubles.
You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but, let me catch you doing the same thing, and all of a sudden I am picking on you.
You know ALL the traffic laws, but, never got one single ticket you deserved.
You shout "Abuse of Authority" if you see me driving fast to an emergency call, but raise 9 kinds of hell if I take more than 30 seconds responding to yours.
You call it "Part of my job" if someone hits me, but yell "Police brutality" if I strike back.
You would never think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but, you are ALWAYS willing to give me pointers on how to be a police officer.
You talk to me in a manner, and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but, you expect me to stand there and take your verbal abuse without batting an eye.
You cry, "Something has to be done about crime", but you cant be bothered to get involved.
You have no use for me what so ever, but of course, it's OK for me to change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car enroute to the hospital, or, save your sons life with CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation, or even forsake time with MY family working long hours overtime trying to find your lost daughter.
So, dear citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but, never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, and maybe your life might someday depend on one thing......Me.
Respectfully,
A Lousy Cop

[scumdog]

I read a similar posting to the one above, it included the name of the trooper (cop) that penned it - also mentioned he was killed (shot I think) not long afterwards and was pretty young to kark it.