My Mum has advanced bone cancer

[Waihou Thumper]

I found out today...I guess I am venting my emotions here, rather than ranting...
Never have I had to deal with something like this. Family members have passed in the UK and I hear third hand, but this is different.
Mum doesn't want any help, treatment other than drugs I guess to make her comfortable..
She comes home tomorrow and Dad is upbeat, said that the kids shouldn't give a hard time. I respect this...
The thing is, she knows, has known and we carry on, be a family etc...

One thing Mum wants to do is meet others in similar situations. There is a group etc and the local hospital board will send out someone regularly to help deal with symptoms, good or bad over time.
If it gets bad Mum could lose the ability to walk, it is advanced enough and there is this possibility...

Years of working with animals, vet nurse. Mum and all of us have witnessed animals in distress. She wants to come home, live life and carry on. I respect this...It is hard though.
Never have I had to deal with this, I am having trouble, what to do? I am the eldest...
I cannot be selfish, that I know...

[Akzle]

Never have I had to deal with this, I am having trouble, what to do? I am the eldest...

do about what?


get your own head right.

we all die some time. (or, we never really die), death's what allows us to recognise life.

life, to be enjoyed while we have it.

[Waihou Thumper]

do about what?

get your own head right.



Yes, thank you...I guess..

[jim.cox]

Geez, it doesn't half rain but it pours - sorry for your troubles :(

[Stirts]

There is nothing you can do but respect her wishes and be there for her.

Enjoy the time you have left with her...great memories are what will help you and your family deal with the loss once she is gone.

[Oakie]

Would help to know roughly how old you are. A 25 year old and a 60 year old facing this are two completely different things.

I'm going through a similar thing with my mum. She finds out if she qualifies for a particular operation in a couple of weeks. If she can have the op, we'll have her for years. If she can't have the op, we've only got her for a few months. We're taking our cues from her. She wants to live but she's prepared to die.

[Katiepie]

We all deal with Cancer and illness in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to handle each day as it comes - but that may be one way you choose to step through things... One day at a time. A lot going on for your mum, and your whole family right now. She is going to handle it differently from you also as she will be facing her own fears within herself, questions running around in her head. If she chooses to come home and carry on life as normal, then full respect to her. It does not mean that is the best thing for you. Focus on your own thoughts, while being mindful of hers. My father shut down and didn't want to talk about it at all, kept working and got really angry when I would try to mention I wanted to get some photos with him or video him playing music as he did so beutifully on any instrument he picked up. That was his way, and I had to respect that. I spoke to my mum in private to be able to talk about things like I need to for me, and that was my way.

Thoughts are with you all at this time. Too many families have to face these situations and challenges, but together will be the best thing for your mum, every step of the way. Wishing you all the best on her return home

[Waihou Thumper]

Would help to know roughly how old you are. A 25 year old and a 60 year old facing this are two completely different things.

I'm going through a similar thing with my mum. She finds out if she qualifies for a particular operation in a couple of weeks. If she can have the op, we'll have her for years. If she can't have the op, we've only got her for a few months. We're taking our cues from her. She wants to live but she's prepared to die.

Hi, Just turned 51....Mum is young 66...(she was young, they got married, been together 51 years!)
I am amazed how many of us here have had to deal with these things, not that I am a unique case...
I see there are a few posts and I guess everyone here is upbeat, deal with it, respect and consider both sides of the fence....
It all makes sense...
Mum doesn't want anything, no radiation, chemo....NADA!
When the doctor gave the news and further diagnosis, Mum said first up, DNR please....
She is a strong lass, opinionated, but also has a fifth sense...

[Waihou Thumper]

We all deal with Cancer and illness in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to handle each day as it comes - but that may be one way you choose to step through things... One day at a time. A lot going on for your mum, and your whole family right now. She is going to handle it differently from you also as she will be facing her own fears within herself, questions running around in her head. If she chooses to come home and carry on life as normal, then full respect to her. It does not mean that is the best thing for you. Focus on your own thoughts, while being mindful of hers. My father shut down and didn't want to talk about it at all, kept working and got really angry when I would try to mention I wanted to get some photos with him or video him playing music as he did so beutifully on any instrument he picked up. That was his way, and I had to respect that. I spoke to my mum in private to be able to talk about things like I need to for me, and that was my way.

Thoughts are with you all at this time. Too many families have to face these situations and challenges, but together will be the best thing for your mum, every step of the way. Wishing you all the best on her return home

Thank you, that is valuable and much appreciated...
Differently, on both sides is what I see hear and have to respect this, like you did..

[Stirts]

Hi, Just turned 51....Mum is young 66...(she was young, they got married, been together 51 years!)
I am amazed how many of us here have had to deal with these things, not that I am a unique case...
I see there are a few posts and I guess everyone here is upbeat, deal with it, respect and consider both sides of the fence....
It all makes sense...
Mum doesn't want anything, no radiation, chemo....NADA!
When the doctor gave the news and further diagnosis, Mum said first up, DNR please....
She is a strong lass, opinionated, but also has a fifth sense...


Yes that DNR is a hard pill to swallow. That was my Dads wishes at a young 51yrs. ..I struggled to sign that off. But that is what he wanted. Support her. Love her.

[Waihou Thumper]

Yes that DNR is a hard pill to swallow. That was my Dads wishes at a young 51yrs. ..I struggled to sign that off. But that is what he wanted. Support her. Love her.

Respect...Thanks. Dad said the exact same thing to me on the phone not an hour ago..

[Akzle]

I guess everyone here is upbeat, deal with it, respect and consider both sides of the fence....
It all makes sense...

you dont have to be upbeat, you can be a depressive cunt if you want.
But. Get your head right. Youre no use or help to anyone else if youre not 'right' within yourself.

You are the one who has to live your life. Regret nothing.

I recommend some buddhist zen ommmmm shit, but that may not be right for you.

[Waihou Thumper]

you dont have to be upbeat, you can be a depressive cunt if you want.
But. Get your head right. Youre no use or help to anyone else if youre not 'right' within yourself.

You are the one who has to live your life. Regret nothing.


You know, you do actually make sense here...Both in the first sentence and the absolute last...Thank you.
Well, almost the last....

[Madness]

As males we're hard-wire programmed to "fix things". It's what we do. Sometimes though, such as in the situation you find yourself in now, it can't be "fixed" and we struggle to come to terms. What you're experiencing right now, the emotions, feelings and incredible confusion is all natural. You'll be right mate.

[amberzfire]

I'm really sorry to hear .. I can't offer any words of support that haven't already been said, it takes real courage to open up and talk about the stuff that hurts. One day at a time eh.

[Laava]

I can understand her not wanting to do the chemo and radio. That shit is very hard on the body. Is she open to trying a dietary thing tho? Such as loads of fresh vege juices etc and maybe the vitamin C overload treatment? It is cheap and the benefits can be quite positive with an extremely low chance of any side effects.
More importantly, it can be therapeutic which I believe can only be good.
You have my sympathies too, and sounds like you are dealing with it in a healthy way, ie, venting etc. good luck.

[Waihou Thumper]

I can understand her not wanting to do the chemo and radio. That shit is very hard on the body. Is she open to trying a dietary thing tho? Such as loads of fresh vege juices etc and maybe the vitamin C overload treatment? It is cheap and the benefits can be quite positive with an extremely low chance of any side effects.
More importantly, it can be therapeutic which I believe can only be good.
You have my sympathies too, and sounds like you are dealing with it in a healthy way, ie, venting etc. good luck.

Thanks...I will mention this. I am sure Mum is also well versed in alternatives, holistic, reiki, and homeopathy. I guess this the main reason for her personal beliefs as well.

[Mom]

I am sorry to hear of the challenge ahead for you and yours. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with this sort of thing. Only advice I can offer is respect your Moms wishes and love her, lots! Look after yourself and go with the flow. Take care eh.

[caseye]

2006 was a shit year fro me and mine. Like you my mum found out she had non operable nasties.
Like your mum, she said no, came home and lived her last months and days the way she wanted.
Hard out for us all, 2 sons and a daughter she wanted for nothing and gave us her all, as she always had.
Love her and respect her choice, do all you can and always, always remind her you love her, she's the one leaving and in greatest need of assurance that you are all going to be OK.
my kids and my wife kept me sane, my brother, sister and I kept our dad sane and mum, well she fretted about us all to the last.
Be there for her, hold her hand and she will want for nothing more.
Aroha mate, theres an ear and or a shoulder here and practically everywhere else you might look here.

[mashman]

Bagga. Take a week off and laugh and cry with her and ask her all of those questions you've never asked before. Remember to grieve and take as long as you need to as there is no time limit on grief.

All the best.

[Kiwi Graham]

Going through a similar thing with my Dad WT,

Concluded just being there and making every day count as a family important, helping him tick off on his bucket list.
Dont get me wrong not treating him with kid gloves or anything, still have awesome arguments but getting on with getting on if you know what I mean.

A little bit of denial sits in there still, since he has had a few chemo sessions he feels better but the clock still ticks.
To sit down at the end of the day having had a good day is whats important for us at the moent anyway.

[R650R]

Sorry to hear this Waihou. Lost my Father at 57 to Acute Leukemia about 4 years ago after a year of hospital treatment.

One thing you can be sure of is the backup and support services from various agencies are top notch.
I understand you Mums decision, did a lot of research myself when Dad became ill and after watching what he went through with chemo and other relates stuff I don't think I'd want to spend my final days the same way.
Your Mum at her age has probably seen other friends and family go through it I'd say and probably a factor in her decision.
She is still entitled to help from the hospital with blood transfusions, platelets etc even if not doing full chemo thing.

Its one thing I try to say to people I know without pushing it is you need to think about what you would do. As when it happens you don't really have time to think.
Dad had prob had various symptons (about 20 different indicators, all nothing on their own) in the preceding several years. Then one day during a trip to Doctor in work lunch break Mum made him tell the doctor all the symptons.
He was taken straight to hospital, stayed overnight then medevac flight flown to palmy hospital (they are experts there in bone cancer stuff) next day, about 2 hours after I found out.
To top it off local hospital had superbug outbreak so he was quarantined in palmy, couldn't even leave his room for about 3 days before the treatment started several days later...

The leukemia creates lots of defunct white blood cells and along with the chemo crushes the immune system so during this time even the common cold can just about kill the patient.
Dad got Pnuemonia and rotovirus on separate occasions while in hospital, seeing the inside of ICU sure made me ride a little slower.

In the end he died of a brain anuerysim which the doctors had warned us of about a month earlier of being in the risk zone for that as the chemo drugs weaken the blood vessels.

For now you just need to be there for her and make sure everyones coordinated timewise so she's always got someone to talk to etc. Get into practise of good hygiene for the household and maybe look at access issues later.

Feel free to PM with any questions, prob all a bit much to take in this early of just finding out.

[5150]

Sorry to hear that Mark. Stay positive, and I know it is easier to say then do. But I think if she sees you depressed and stressed, it will make her battle even harder cause she will see you suffering as well. I don't think she would want to remember you like that, especially if there is only a short time remaining. Best you can do is be there for her, and enjoy the time you have with her with positive things, I am sure that is how you want to remember her, all the positives, not the negatives. Enjoy the time and be there for your mum. That is all that matters now.


Give us a yell if you in the Tron and want to catch up or go for a ride mate. We here for ya. :)

[Eddieb]

Sorry to hear that Mark.

I've been having kinda similiar issues with my mum. She was given 2 years about 18 months ago and was a pivotal reason for me moving back up from Wellington. She has COPD(emphysemia) from smoking and a year ago was diagnosed with kidney cancer, some days she can barely walk because it's so hard for her to breath and she has very little energy.

Fortunately the cancer was solely in one kidney so a standard kidney removal removed that and she seems to be clear but she still has the COPD. If she stops smoking for a month the COPD pretty much dissappears and she can brethe and has lots of energy, but she won't. She continues to smoke even though it's making her life hell and killing her.

She 63, and she's fucked.

[Paul in NZ]

Look – I’m really really sorry to hear this, It’s pretty devastating stuff.

You have had some superb advice here from unexpected quarters so I think you are pretty well covered. But I will just add my perspective.

We lost our mother VERY unexpectedly – she dropped stone dead on the golf course playing in the final of the ladies club championships. The event was well attended by medical types and many many of her friends but she was dead before she hit the ground. The shock to us all was profound.

Dad passed away from dementia many years later – it was a slow way to go but mercifully he was well cared for and knew little of it as it progress. It was awfully had to watch the man who had given me everything and my love for getting out the spanners, go in this fashion.

Two very different passing's and each was very difficult.

There is no easy way to go. But to do what your mother is doing does require courage – immense courage. Don’t think for a second that she isn’t bricking it though. I would be… I still remember when the man in the white coat gave me my diagnosis and even though it was fixable – that didn’t register like the ‘C’ word did. Shocked does not even come into it.

If you think about how this has made you feel – I’d say it’s a thousand time more intense for your mother. BUT it’s her decision. Yeah she is your mum, always will be and mums are special but before that she is a person in her own right and she has just had to make the shitest (and bravest) decision of her life. So all I can say is that you just need to be there and support her as much as you can – don’t put off those conversations where you tell her you love her and thank her for everything she has done because you won’t get an opportunity later – and you will be unhappy you missed out if you don’t.

Oh – an feel free to vent your heart out here – dunno why but it helps sometimes…

[Ulsterkiwi]

hi, I wanted to add my expression of support.
this is a tough time, plain and simple, being confronted with the mortality of a loved one is a big ask.
there has been a lot of wisdom expressed in the other replies you have have had, listen to it all, use what resonates with you.

Like Akzle says you have to get your head right first, then you can be some use to your mum and the rest of your family. Some of the stuff I have done has meant training for emergencies or rescues or dealing with the unexpected, one thing is always core, you have to be safe before you can help anyone else.

Deciding what to do with treatments and things like that is hard, but healing can take many forms and there is more to us than our physical bodies. Many would argue healing of the mind and soul are more important and more lasting. You are open and reflective, that's a huge thing, don't lose it, keep talking and don't for one second think you always have to be on top of things or always know the answers

If you want information about what support is available the Cancer Society freephone service is really good (0800 CANCER). Its not about pushing hardcore treatments, they have a pretty holistic approach to support and information and it helps you avoid the inevitable sellers of snake oil who abound out there.

I don't work for the Cancer Society but my job means I know about this stuff, feel free to PM me with any questions.

[Akzle]

In the end he died of a brain anuerysim which the doctors had warned us of about a month earlier of being in the risk zone for that as the chemo drugs weaken the blood vessels.

any one, any time.
aneurysms are god's lightswtich on you. no history or illness required, you drop dead.

which i guess is my way of saying... fuck it all, blow your savings on whores and coke.

[Waihou Thumper]

I am sorry to hear of the challenge ahead for you and yours. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with this sort of thing. Only advice I can offer is respect your Moms wishes and love her, lots! Look after yourself and go with the flow. Take care eh.

Thank you, yes...


2006 was a shit year fro me and mine. Like you my mum found out she had non operable nasties.
Like your mum, she said no, came home and lived her last months and days the way she wanted.
Hard out for us all, 2 sons and a daughter she wanted for nothing and gave us her all, as she always had.
Love her and respect her choice, do all you can and always, always remind her you love her, she's the one leaving and in greatest need of assurance that you are all going to be OK.
my kids and my wife kept me sane, my brother, sister and I kept our dad sane and mum, well she fretted about us all to the last.
Be there for her, hold her hand and she will want for nothing more.
Aroha mate, theres an ear and or a shoulder here and practically everywhere else you might look here.

Awesome, appreciated. I have support here, that really counts in this environment.


Sorry to hear this Waihou. Lost my Father at 57 to Acute Leukemia about 4 years ago after a year of hospital treatment.

One thing you can be sure of is the backup and support services from various agencies are top notch.
I understand you Mums decision, did a lot of research myself when Dad became ill and after watching what he went through with chemo and other relates stuff I don't think I'd want to spend my final days the same way.
Your Mum at her age has probably seen other friends and family go through it I'd say and probably a factor in her decision.
She is still entitled to help from the hospital with blood transfusions, platelets etc even if not doing full chemo thing.

Its one thing I try to say to people I know without pushing it is you need to think about what you would do. As when it happens you don't really have time to think.
Dad had prob had various symptons (about 20 different indicators, all nothing on their own) in the preceding several years. Then one day during a trip to Doctor in work lunch break Mum made him tell the doctor all the symptons.
He was taken straight to hospital, stayed overnight then medevac flight flown to palmy hospital (they are experts there in bone cancer stuff) next day, about 2 hours after I found out.
To top it off local hospital had superbug outbreak so he was quarantined in palmy, couldn't even leave his room for about 3 days before the treatment started several days later...

The leukemia creates lots of defunct white blood cells and along with the chemo crushes the immune system so during this time even the common cold can just about kill the patient.
Dad got Pnuemonia and rotovirus on separate occasions while in hospital, seeing the inside of ICU sure made me ride a little slower.

In the end he died of a brain anuerysim which the doctors had warned us of about a month earlier of being in the risk zone for that as the chemo drugs weaken the blood vessels.

For now you just need to be there for her and make sure everyones coordinated timewise so she's always got someone to talk to etc. Get into practise of good hygiene for the household and maybe look at access issues later.

Feel free to PM with any questions, prob all a bit much to take in this early of just finding out.

Thanks .....I didn't realise just how much this affects all of us...A motorcycle forum and we have all had similar events happen.


Going through a similar thing with my Dad WT,

Concluded just being there and making every day count as a family important, helping him tick off on his bucket list.
Dont get me wrong not treating him with kid gloves or anything, still have awesome arguments but getting on with getting on if you know what I mean.

A little bit of denial sits in there still, since he has had a few chemo sessions he feels better but the clock still ticks.
To sit down at the end of the day having had a good day is whats important for us at the moent anyway.

What is important is everything you guys are mentioning here....


Sorry to hear that Mark. Stay positive, and I know it is easier to say then do. But I think if she sees you depressed and stressed, it will make her battle even harder cause she will see you suffering as well. I don't think she would want to remember you like that, especially if there is only a short time remaining. Best you can do is be there for her, and enjoy the time you have with her with positive things, I am sure that is how you want to remember her, all the positives, not the negatives. Enjoy the time and be there for your mum. That is all that matters now.
Give us a yell if you in the Tron and want to catch up or go for a ride mate. We here for ya. :)

Thanks a bunch....Fuck it, I will buy another bike...Life is short!


Sorry to hear that Mark.

I've been having kinda similiar issues with my mum. She was given 2 years about 18 months ago and was a pivotal reason for me moving back up from Wellington. She has COPD(emphysemia) from smoking and a year ago was diagnosed with kidney cancer, some days she can barely walk because it's so hard for her to breath and she has very little energy.

Fortunately the cancer was solely in one kidney so a standard kidney removal removed that and she seems to be clear but she still has the COPD. If she stops smoking for a month the COPD pretty much dissappears and she can brethe and has lots of energy, but she won't. She continues to smoke even though it's making her life hell and killing her.

She 63, and she's fucked.

63!, shit that is young.....I guess she knows and wants to carry on, so what can you do aye? Decision rests on the person right? Just like in my case too..


Look – I’m really really sorry to hear this, It’s pretty devastating stuff.

You have had some superb advice here from unexpected quarters so I think you are pretty well covered. But I will just add my perspective.

We lost our mother VERY unexpectedly – she dropped stone dead on the golf course playing in the final of the ladies club championships. The event was well attended by medical types and many many of her friends but she was dead before she hit the ground. The shock to us all was profound.

Dad passed away from dementia many years later – it was a slow way to go but mercifully he was well cared for and knew little of it as it progress. It was awfully had to watch the man who had given me everything and my love for getting out the spanners, go in this fashion.

Two very different passing's and each was very difficult.

There is no easy way to go. But to do what your mother is doing does require courage – immense courage. Don’t think for a second that she isn’t bricking it though. I would be… I still remember when the man in the white coat gave me my diagnosis and even though it was fixable – that didn’t register like the ‘C’ word did. Shocked does not even come into it.

If you think about how this has made you feel – I’d say it’s a thousand time more intense for your mother. BUT it’s her decision. Yeah she is your mum, always will be and mums are special but before that she is a person in her own right and she has just had to make the shitest (and bravest) decision of her life. So all I can say is that you just need to be there and support her as much as you can – don’t put off those conversations where you tell her you love her and thank her for everything she has done because you won’t get an opportunity later – and you will be unhappy you missed out if you don’t.

Oh – an feel free to vent your heart out here – dunno why but it helps sometimes…

It is helping and sorry for your loss mate...


hi, I wanted to add my expression of support.
this is a tough time, plain and simple, being confronted with the mortality of a loved one is a big ask.
there has been a lot of wisdom expressed in the other replies you have have had, listen to it all, use what resonates with you.

Like Akzle says you have to get your head right first, then you can be some use to your mum and the rest of your family. Some of the stuff I have done has meant training for emergencies or rescues or dealing with the unexpected, one thing is always core, you have to be safe before you can help anyone else.

Deciding what to do with treatments and things like that is hard, but healing can take many forms and there is more to us than our physical bodies. Many would argue healing of the mind and soul are more important and more lasting. You are open and reflective, that's a huge thing, don't lose it, keep talking and don't for one second think you always have to be on top of things or always know the answers

If you want information about what support is available the Cancer Society freephone service is really good (0800 CANCER). Its not about pushing hardcore treatments, they have a pretty holistic approach to support and information and it helps you avoid the inevitable sellers of snake oil who abound out there.

I don't work for the Cancer Society but my job means I know about this stuff, feel free to PM me with any questions.

Thank you. I am not there at the moment but just want to offer support to Mum as everyone states...I don't want to know about anything really. I want Mum to be happy and especially Dad too...They have been best friends for 51 years...I am worried about him too...I guess time will tell. Christmas is going to be fun, I don't do these things well.

[240]

Shit that's terrible news .Your Mums your Mum and she allways will be .All the best for you and your family mate.

[Waihou Thumper]

Mum is home and I have had a good long chat. I gave support and we had a laugh. It turns out she has hid this from the kids for 10 years...
But she knew and put on a brave face, didn't want anyone to worry, other than my Dad, who also knew...
Wow, a bit of a shock there...:eek5:

[Waihou Thumper]

Shit that's terrible news .Your Mums your Mum and she allways will be .All the best for you and your family mate.

Thanks and much appreciated...

[Mushu]

Like many on here I went through something similar with my mother, she had multiple sclerosis so based on my experience with that my advice/opinion is:

Your mum asking for a DNR is a good thing (my mum had to endure far too long and things probably would have been better if a DNR was put in place earlier).

Also, try and figure out what you want to know about her life and your own life as a child and ask the questions while you can, unfortunately MS effects the memory so by the time I realized I had things I wanted to ask she was unable to answer them and asking the questions upset her because she knew she should know the answers.

The most important thing is that you spend time with her and help her when you can because no matter how much you do for her, when you look back after she has gone, it won't seem like enough.

[R650R]

Mum is home and I have had a good long chat. I gave support and we had a laugh. It turns out she has hid this from the kids for 10 years...
But she knew and put on a brave face, didn't want anyone to worry, other than my Dad, who also knew...
Wow, a bit of a shock there...:eek5:

And there's a lot more people out there like that. Cancer is epidemic in modern society and increasing exponentially.
Govt never really tells us how bad it is as it would dilute all the other propaganda and there's so much stuff we're exposed to even with the best work practises.

One thing for sure is the prevention is better than anything close to a cure.

Eat proper good food, not processed junk with no vitamins etc.
Get plenty of good vigourus exercise to drive oxygen into your blood, cancers don't like oxygen rich bodies.
If you wouldn't eat it don't expose your skin to it eg cleaning chemicals, petrol etc
Rest properly when you can, its all very well to tough out the long hours but the body says no in the long run.

If your mums being doing ok for this long I rate her chances as good even if it has advanced. Even if it was an early diagnosis being alive anywhere more than 5 years later is good going.

[Mushu]

And there's a lot more people out there like that. Cancer is epidemic in modern society and increasing exponentially.

Cancer isn't getting more common, people are living longer, increasing the risk of cancer because we can cure most of the things that would have killed us before the cancer could. Go back far enough and even the common cold held a reasonable risk of death. We are also far better at diagnosing it now too which I would assume would also increase the amount of cases of cancer.

However someone dies, it's always upsetting to those that love them and watching an illness take someone is painful but death will happen to all of us and everyone each of us knows. The shorter the list is of things that can't be cured the higher the incidence of those illnesses will be.

[Waihou Thumper]

I have just received a call and Mum passed peacefully today.
She fell asleep and never regained consciousness. I would like to offer my thanks to Arohanui Hospice for all of their support to Dad.
I am at a loss, never thought it would happen to me or Mum....
I will not be here anymore, so thanks all. Take care and happy trails.

Mark signing off.....

[Paul in NZ]

Sorry for your loss Mark.. Been there - never easy. Take it easy on yourself, the big hole will eventually heal but life goes on so look after yourself and your family.

[Banditbandit]

My sympathies. Take it easy and look after yourself and whanau.

[Madness]

Condolences Mark, to both you & your family.

[Edbear]

Sorry to hear mate. Condolences and best wishes.

[caseye]

I hope you do buy another bike and to see you back in these forums.
Sad for your loss mate, but now it's time to go be with your dad for a bit and make sure he's on track. You have coped and your mum got what she needed from you and yours until she didn't need it anymore. Live life, you never know when it's your turn.
Meanwhile, take a big breath, get some rest, and remember it's OK to shed a tear or more when remembering your! mum.