Christmas-specific rants

[AllanB]

Bah Humbug and all that. Post up some Christmas specific rants.

Traffic - why does the driving skills of at least 50% of road users get worse at Christmas? Chill out, relax - you will still get there and if you are late to work, doctor or a anal bleaching appointment (must look ones best for Christmas) just blame the traffic.

Rebel Sports & Briscoes TV adverts - how many friggen sales can you have in the month before Xmas? Worst thing is that you just know the item(s) you purchased on sale pre-Xmas will be further discounted on boxing day.

Christmas Day and Family obligations - arrrrrrr juggling the day between two families (or more). Every year I state - NO MORE we are going away on holiday next year (and we never do). 7.00 pm on the 25th will find me nackered, probably annoyed and ranting on KB .......

[haydes55]

Too lazy to buy presents, no idea what to buy, hard to ship presents on the back of my bike.....

Problem solved, Donating money to charity instead of buying presents, friends and family are getting good karma for Xmas.

[caspernz]

Oh yeah, the retail sectors' enthusiasm for Christmas makes me wonder whether anyone still knows the meaning of Christmas :weep:

The traffic is annoying and amusing, the open road must be sooooo terrifying to some city slickers who never venture beyond the city limits for the rest of the year :killingme

And the amusement continues on petrol station forecourts. When I'm dropping a load of fuel into the servo tanks, it never ceases to amaze me the number of folks who pull up with the filler cap on the wrong side...then curse at the pump hose being too short. Nothing to do with them parking too far forward and far away from the pump island :scratch::lol::clap: never mind on the wrong side to start with. Never gets old :devil2:

Long given up doing Xmas prezzies. Now we just buy what we want, usually at the Boxing Day sales. Helps only having a few family members in this country though.

The worst part for me is that this time of year I have to book a table at the pub across the road. Still within 200 steps though :banana:

[bogan]

My main annoyance with christ-so-called-mas is that only the fat guys get dressed up, and not even in slutty outfits. Compared to halloween this is just a lot of hullaballo about nothing.

[awa355]

Friggin 'family xmas movies' on tv, Infact, anything on tv. :weep::weep:

[AllanB]

Friggin 'family xmas movies' on tv, Infact, anything on tv. :weep::weep:

I drag out 'Love Actually' each year. Best Xmas movie ever - even some boob in it. It's my movie guilty pleasure.

[Edbear]

Xmas is one of the biggest con jobs ever foisted on the world. I boycott it on principle. I don't need to be dictated to by commerce and fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.

[Akzle]

im offended that society has come so far from the reason for the season.



christmas is a pagan shrooming festival.

[SVboy]

Shorai are one of the biggest con jobs ever foisted on the world. I boycott it on principle. I don't need to be dictated to by commerce and fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[neels]

I despair at the amount of xmas crap that adorns the retail parts of the world, which usually I actively avoid but at this time of the year I am seemingly obliged to share with the shopping zombie creatures.

Saddens me greatly the amount of the earths resources consumed to create stuff that's destined for the skip on boxing day, to be replaced with boxing day sale crap that is destined for the skip bin shortly after as well.

[mossy1200]

Half my motorbike has been built on xmas present ordering for myself from my wife sometimes without her knowledge. Bless her heart. Ill get her a card instead of making one this year.

[Virago]

Like most, the pre-Christmas hype annoys me - although we do the last minute present shopping and have to suffer the crowds. The TV ads are intolerable, and the inescapable Christmas jingle-jangle music really irritates.

Come Christmas day, the grumpiness is over, and it's all about family. We usually host an extended family (and also anyone else we know who might otherwise be alone) - we can have over 20 people for dinner sometimes - for a full traditional Christmas feast. We have large trestle tables butted together, that way we get everyone around a large makeshift table. Yes, we do the present thing, but mainly it's about all being together.

Christmas this year is especially important for us, with our youngest girl heading for England for two years minimum (probably longer) in three weeks time. We will be savouring this last family Christmas together.

[nodrog]

Cheer up you sad cunts, when else can you swap items from The $2 shop for new clothes and alcohol.

[Edbear]

Shorai are one of the biggest con jobs ever foisted on the world. I boycott it on principle. I don't need to be dictated to by commerce and fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.

Sorry, couldn't resist.[/QUOTE]

Lol! The upside is that sales are booming!

[Gremlin]

Re traffic, it's all the idiots getting out doing things when the rest of us are trying to go about our regular business like any other time of the year... except for random car parks of cars on roads that are never that back logged.

Then it's the fact that Christmas (and Boxing Day) is the very best time of year if you want to shut down something critical and move it. No-one should be working... So being in IT, work will probably conclude Christmas Eve some time... then I'll work through Christmas Day and Boxing Day getting back end IT stuff done... *sigh*

[ruaphu]

Everytime ya pop into town its chocka full of feckers is runnin around around like headless chickens thinkin it's the end of the world buying everything and anything in bulk cos the shops are closed for a day!

Worse still, wankers that can't park seem to be everywhere this time of year and take up every other parking space.

Fecking parkin wardens are invisible to everything else goin on except what i do......... Bah humbug


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[Voltaire]

Xmas is one of the biggest con jobs ever foisted on the world. I boycott it on principle. I don't need to be dictated to by commerce and fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.

Cor what would the Three Wise Men and Jesus think of that:innocent:

Mary" Can I re gift the Frankensence as we already have some?"

Jo " WTF do I do with mirr?"

[haydes55]

Cor what would the Three Wise Men and Jesus think of that:innocent:



Mary" Can I re gift the Frankensence as we already have some?"



Jo " WTF do I do with mirr?"


The 3 wise men were actually 3 travelling salesmen... Most likely selling snake oil, ointments or sexual supplements.

[Edbear]

Cor what would the Three Wise Men and Jesus think of that:innocent:

Mary" Can I re gift the Frankensence as we already have some?"

Jo " WTF do I do with mirr?"

The so called three wise men were a guess and an assumption. They were astrologers and the account doesn't say how many but because there were three types of gifts it was assumed there were three men. Herod sent them to find Jesus as he wanted to kill him, but after seeing the baby they didn't go back. Obviously Herod was miffed.

[Akzle]

The so called three wise men were a guess and an assumption. They were astrologers and the account doesn't say how many but because there were three types of gifts it was assumed there were three men. Herod sent them to find Jesus as he wanted to kill him, but after seeing the baby they didn't go back. Obviously Herod was miffed.

and, actually, none of that happened.

[nodrog]

and, actually, none of that happened.

Of course it did.

So did the Hobbit.

[blue rider]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10441044_10154914281340113_6764892903633060734_n.p ng?oh=9cdbfcc471b84cb99bcb4498eca85a92&oe=54FC1F06&__gda__=1429519120_52e8b149cb49d654b5e1db36857fb37 a



a. turn of the tv
b. buy your stuff locally made
c. take a vacation

must say i was having a good run this year. But then, I don't buy pressies, I don't watch tv, and all i will do on boxing day is eating and drinking in my back yard. If peeps want to see me they know where to find me.

[unstuck]

I don't need to be dictated to by fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.

:killingme:killingme:killingme:killingme:whistle:

[Voltaire]

and, actually, none of that happened.

Are you saying that none of it happened and the only written records were done 70 years later based on hearsay?

What next...Coca Cola inventing Santa.:msn-wink:

[Edbear]

:killingme:killingme:killingme:killingme:whistle:

Yeah, unlike some... :innocent:

[Madness]

Obviously Herod was miffed.

Is that when he teamed up with Ford?

Merry Christmas Ed.

[mashman]

There's never enough of this around at christmas.

http://elffancydress.org.uk/images/santas-little-helper-costumes.jpg

[AllanB]

Websites who say something will be delivered by 18 December.

I figure I have one point five days left of reliable courier deliveries in which Mrs B's main Xmas pressie will be delivered. Ditto for some of Daughter B's gifts.

Given they were ordered a month back I feel I had ordered in advance. The website tells me they packages are with the courier awaiting delivery ........



On a brighter note I ordered 90% of the gifts I am giving off the internet - great shopping and apart from the above going well so far.


As a side note I added a new helmet for myself to the list ....... that too is in NZ, titillating close to delivery - will it arrive in time for a boxing day ride? This is more exciting than waiting for Santa.

[FJRider]

Xmas is one of the biggest con jobs ever foisted on the world. I boycott it on principle. I don't need to be dictated to by commerce and fairy stories to have fun with friends and family.


The atheists of our nation celebrating the birth of the son of God.

Commercial reality at it's worst ... but the Boxing Day specials make it easier on the mind (and WALLET) ...

[Oakie]

I drag out 'Love Actually' each year. Best Xmas movie ever - even some boob in it. It's my movie guilty pleasure.

Boob? Damn. Must pay more attention next time!

[FJRider]

must say i was having a good run this year. But then, I don't buy pressies, I don't watch tv, and all i will do on boxing day is eating and drinking in my back yard. If peeps want to see me they know where to find me.

The Spirit of Christmas is still alive and well ... but nowdays ... finding three wise men IS a big ask ... :blank:

[Edbear]

The atheists of our nation celebrating the birth of the son of God.

Commercial reality at it's worst ... but the Boxing Day specials make it easier on the mind (and WALLET) ...

What's even funnier is that Athiest nations are celebrating it. Mind you, since it's almost entirely a Pagan Festival that's ironic to the extreme!

[Virago]

The Spirit of Christmas is still alive and well ... but nowdays ... finding three wise men IS a big ask ... :blank:

...Or a virgin...

[AllanB]

...Or a virgin...

How gullible was that Joseph dude?

If you come home from work and your wife tells you she is pregnant and the father is god ...................

[Voltaire]

How gullible was that Joseph dude?

If you come home from work and your wife tells you she is pregnant and the father is god ...................

Yeah, no one else bought into those stories.....

[mossy1200]

This weeks pay wont arrive until tomorrow so ill need go grocery shopping on Xmas Eve. Wish me luck.

[neels]

This weeks pay wont arrive until tomorrow so ill need go grocery shopping on Xmas Eve. Wish me luck.
You'll need it, if last night's trip to pick up a couple of non xmas related things is any indication, the shelves will be completely empty by then.

It did make me wonder if there's some sort of impeding apocalypse I'm blissfully unaware of.

[mossy1200]

You'll need it, if last night's trip to pick up a couple of non xmas related things is any indication, the shelves will be completely empty by then.

It did make me wonder if there's some sort of impeding apocalypse I'm blissfully unaware of.

If they are out of potatoes ill be upset.

[neels]

If they are out of potatoes ill be upset.

Oh dear.....

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/food-wine/food-news/63714710/Potato-shortage-ripples-through-North-Island

[mossy1200]

Oh dear.....

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/food-wine/food-news/63714710/Potato-shortage-ripples-through-North-Island

Ahh fork me.
Ill be serving 7 people yams with the roast.
WTF is wrong with this world.

Im going spud shopping with my visa. BBS.

[Ripperjon]

Are you saying that none of it happened and the only written records were done 70 years later based on hearsay?

What next...Coca Cola inventing Santa.:msn-wink:


They didn't invent the guy just changed his smoking jacket from green to red.

I always get sucked into the whole swapping pressies thing but its a load of old capitalist bollocks with a side-order of religious propaganda really.

Have a good one though. :laugh:

[AllanB]

Now I'm packing it - two courier packets arrived today - both mine ......... Mrs B and Daughter B's deliveries are cutting it fine!

[Woodman]

Ahh fork me.
Ill be serving 7 people yams with the roast.
WTF is wrong with this world.

Im going spud shopping with my visa. BBS.

I'd go yams over potatoes anyday.

[FJRider]

...Or a virgin...

I don't live in Dunedin ..... :rolleyes:

[ellipsis]

...next week, after the bullshit the only thing left is some cunt dribbling in your ear or worse, in you...if you choose to be there, and then a couple of days after that other fuckwits make your life a drain, then just after that it's winter...yay...:banana::banana::banana::banana::ba nana::banana::banana::banana:

[mossy1200]

I'd go yams over potatoes anyday.

They had potatoes.:rolleyes:

They didn't have yams.:no:

I bought a swede. I don't know what to do with it.

[unstuck]

I bought a swede. I don't know what to do with it.

My kids used to like em raw, we just cook em and mash. $1 each down here, if you dont know the best place to jump the fence and grab one.:msn-wink:

[Grumph]

...next week, after the bullshit the only thing left is some cunt dribbling in your ear or worse, in you...if you choose to be there, and then a couple of days after that other fuckwits make your life a drain, then just after that it's winter...yay...:banana::banana::banana::banana::ba nana::banana::banana::banana:

i thought it was some fuckwit's fucked up my drain, then it's winter and oh joy we're flooded again...

Come out and see me and get pissed and tell stories....

[mossy1200]

My kids used to like em raw, we just cook em and mash. $1 each down here, if you dont know the best place to jump the fence and grab one.:msn-wink:

I used to eat them raw on the way to work when I lived in Pukerau.
I was wondering if they can be roasted but maybe on the side as mash could be a better idea with grated cheese and spring onion.

[Maha]

Pavlova, I love Pavlova, Anne will bake a Pavalova, I can eat lots of Pavlova.

[mossy1200]

Pavlova, I love Pavlova, Anne will bake a Pavalova, I can eat lots of Pavlova.

Nice. I have Brandy Baskets, Meringue Nests and a wife that cant cook so no Home made Pavlova for me.

In fact my wife who cant cook invited 7 guests.

Don't panic guys. I have a double width oven and 2 size 26 chickens. Does that make a little Honda?

[awa355]

:rolleyes:



I bought a swede. I don't know what to do with it.

Does it look like this swede????

http://i1074.photobucket.com/albums/w420/awa355/Untitledpicture2-10.png

[AllanB]

I'd stick something in that Swedish oven .........

[unstuck]

when I lived in Pukerau.


How the hell do you type so well with 8 fingers per hand?:eek:

[Fastmark]

I drag out 'Love Actually' each year. Best Xmas movie ever - even some boob in it. It's my movie guilty pleasure.

Same here, watched it last night and no doubt will watch it again very soon.

And result, for the first time we are NOT being forced to sit around with distant family for a day just because its Christmas. This year just us and the kids at our place before hitting the beach....bliss

[Fastmark]

They had potatoes.:rolleyes:

They didn't have yams.:no:

I bought a swede. I don't know what to do with it.

Mix with carrots and butter then mash, goes down a storm:niceone:

[Maha]

I drag out 'Love Actually' each year. Best Xmas movie ever - even some boob in it. It's my movie guilty pleasure.

Hugh Grant is in a few movies.

[willytheekid]

Pavlova, I love Pavlova, Anne will bake a Pavalova, I can eat lots of Pavlova.

FUCK YEAH!!:D..YOU HAD ME AT PAVLOVA!:love: (you sweet talker you)

[Maha]

FUCK YEAH!!:D..YOU HAD ME AT PAVLOVA!:love: (you sweet talker you)

Anne has a fail safe recipe (big/crunchy and soft in the middle, a bit like Caseye) which includes the instruction 'beat the shit' so not from the Edmonds cook book.

[Flip]

For the first time in years I don't have to work on the stat days.:banana:

Not sure what to do, I haven't had to play nicely with family for years, no actually decades.

I think I will do some work on my the mast for my antenna, thats if the weather is not too hot. I don't fancy going for a ride as the roads around here are full of 20 year old wankers in their mothers "not rod" Toyota corollas going to the rythum and vines pig sty.

[Akzle]

I think I will do some work on my the mast for my antenna, .

go on..... giz the deets

[caseye]

Anne has a fail safe recipe (big/crunchy and soft in the middle, a bit like Caseye) which includes the instruction 'beat the shit' so not from the Edmonds cook book.

We have a 2 year veteran skycity trainee chef (youngest,of our 3 girls) cooking Chrissy dinner today! Theres Pav in da oven, an it' ain't a bit like me! lol. Cheers for the laugh Maha.
Tron tomorrow arvo, Cemetery Circuit Friday wiv MURRAY and members of the LOR, looking forward to this Boxing day.

[FLUB]

We have a 2 year veteran skycity trainee chef (youngest,of our 3 girls) cooking Chrissy dinner today! Theres Pav in da oven, an it' ain't a bit like me! lol. Cheers for the laugh Maha.
Tron tomorrow arvo, Cemetery Circuit Friday wiv MURRAY and members of the LOR, looking forward to this Boxing day.
So my mate Martin is her boss then?

[caseye]

So my mate Martin is her boss then?

He sure is mate, and now that she knows that she's worried.
Merry Christmas.

[Maha]

FUCK YEAH!!:D..YOU HAD ME AT PAVLOVA!:love: (you sweet talker you)

Most of this will be eaten by meeeeeeeee!!

[unstuck]

Most of this one will be eaten by me, after a nice chrissy smoke.:Punk::Punk:

[willytheekid]

Most of this will be eaten by meeeeeeeee!!

:laugh:

Ive already had TWO!!:eek:...sleepy now...had...too...muc..everythi...:zzzz:

[husaberg]

Most of this will be eaten by meeeeeeeee!!

What kind of Pagan festivities are going on at yours, with no Kiwifruit on the Pav.........

unstucks looks like it has Rudolf reindeer droppings on it too. (not including some fodder)

[Maha]

Most of this one will be eaten by me, after a nice chrissy smoke.:Punk::Punk:

Pomegranates...nice touch.

[unstuck]

Pomegranates...nice touch.

I loves me pomegranates. :yes::yes:

Strawberries and eggs from my back yard too. And the mint.:yes:

[awa355]

Most of this will be eaten by meeeeeeeee!!

You realise you can have too much of a good thing??? I have, feeling bloated and still have to go to work tonight. :eek::eek: Not good.

[awa355]

I loves me pomegranates. :yes::yes:

Strawberries and eggs from my back yard too. And the mint.:yes:

'Mint' grown under lights?????
:facepalm:

[unstuck]

'Mint' grown under lights?????
:facepalm:

Nah, none of that indoor shit round here. All natural.:shifty:

[husaberg]

I loves me pomegranates. :yes::yes:

Strawberries and eggs from my back yard too. And the mint.:yes:

pomegranates.....never seen them what kind of roman Caligula stuff is going on in gore.......

[unstuck]

pomegranates.....never seen them what kind of roman Caligula stuff is going on in gore.......

Heathen.:shit:

Used to eat heaps of them when I was a kid, we would each get a toothpick and a pomegranate, you open them up and eat the seeds.:love:



http://www.treesthatfeed.org/files/whole-and-cut-pomegranate.jpg

[husaberg]

Heathen.:shit:

Used to eat heaps of them when I was a kid, we would each get a toothpick and a pomegranate, you open them up and eat the seeds.:love:


Massive pic

We got gooseberries and quinces and crab-apples, always figured you were a toff......:innocent:

[unstuck]

We got gooseberries and quinces and crab-apples, always figured you were a toff......:innocent:

If by toff you mean " good taste" by golly you are right.:Punk::Punk:

[husaberg]

If by toff you mean " good taste" by golly you are right.:Punk::Punk:

No by toff I mean going to a all boys school eating pomegranates with the correct forks and getting "tutored" by the "HEADBOY" Stabastian something doublebarrelled.........;)

[unstuck]

No by toff I mean going to a all boys school eating pomegranates with the correct forks and getting "tutored" by the "HEADBOY" Stabastian something doublebarrelled.........;)

School, wtf is that? :wacko:
No boys getting head here either.:oi-grr:

[husaberg]

School, wtf is that? :wacko:
No boys getting head here either.:oi-grr:

ya got to admit the pomegranates are a bit...........

[unstuck]

ya got to admit the pomegranates are a bit...........

Delicious???? yes they are, bit of an acquired sort of taste though. $3 each though.:gob:

[husaberg]

Delicious???? yes they are, bit of an acquired sort of taste though. $3 each though.:gob:

when In rome/gore

[unstuck]

when In rome/gore

Chrissy feed number 3 on the table, play nice now, ya hear.:headbang::headbang:

[husaberg]

Chrissy feed number 3 on the table, play nice now, ya hear.:headbang::headbang:

Axel mentioned something about stuffing the turkey............

[unstuck]

Axel mentioned something about stuffing the turkey............

Can't see you bending over for him somehow.:innocent:

[husaberg]

Can't see you bending over for him somehow.:innocent:

Lets just say It's unlikely to be on youtube...... He mentioned baiting as well he said you were a master at it:yes:
Ps stop flirting and fix the guys clutch would ya.......

[98tls]

Anyone watch that cooking programme on TV today about lunchtime ish,bloke had a recipe from 1700 and whatever for xmas pudding...fruit/spices meat whatever etc though by all accounts wasnt bad.:confused:

[unstuck]

Lets just say It's unlikely to be on youtube...... He mentioned baiting as well he said you were a master at it:yes:
Ps stop flirting and fix the guys clutch would ya.......

Nah, must have been someone else. Im just an average wanker at best.:bleh:


@98tls.........please dont mention food.:sick:

[unstuck]

Who else ate way too much food? It feels like I have doubled in size overnight.:eek:

[awa355]

Who else ate way too much food? It feels like I have doubled in size overnight.:eek:

Here's the cure.
http://i1074.photobucket.com/albums/w420/awa355/Untitledpicture-44.png