The Meaning Of Life [Archive] - Kiwi Biker forums

Fatt Max

27th January 2015, 17:46

I'm going to fucking regret this, but here goes......

Mini Max, my ickle boy is starting to ask THAT question (no, not the one about why Steve Martin isnt funny anymore), more like the 'Where Do Babies Come From?'

So. its down to me to explain, anyone got any ideas how I go about this one?

AllanB

27th January 2015, 17:50

Subject him to a 24 hour porn watching exercise. That should cover all basis.

Things to be aware of if you do this:

He will think all girls are gagging for it.

He will wonder if white kids are produced in the front and coloured in the rear

He may become interested in a career as a photocopier repair man, pool guy or pizza delivery man.

jasonu

27th January 2015, 17:50

I'm going to fucking regret this, but here goes......

Mini Max, my ickle boy is starting to ask THAT question (no, not the one about why Steve Martin isnt funny anymore), more like the 'Where Do Babies Come From?'

So. its down to me to explain, anyone got any ideas how I go about this one?

Show him some of your porn (not the animal stuff but).

Laava

27th January 2015, 18:26

Keep it short and sweet and tell the truth. He will not want to talk about it for long I'm picking!

Oakie

27th January 2015, 18:27

Ya thicko. It's easy!

"Son, go ask your mother"

Oakie

27th January 2015, 18:29

Keep it short and sweet and tell the truth. He will not want to talk about it for long I'm picking! Actually, if you can hold off for a couple of years he'll probably be able to tell you all about it.

"Son, it's time to talk about sex and relationships"
"Sure Dad ... what would you like to know?"

jellywrestler

27th January 2015, 18:33

ther Stork, The Shag or the Lark story, but not the Swallow.

mashman

27th January 2015, 18:34

Keep it short and sweet and tell the truth. He will not want to talk about it for long I'm picking!

That. Did periods recently as I felt my daughter was undereducated :killingme, yup, didn't last long before she left in a hurry.

rustyrobot

27th January 2015, 18:46

I reckon definitely keep it short in the first instance, but the sooner the better I reckon. If you get him used to talking about that sort of stuff now when it's no big deal (or just silly) then if something comes up later on he wont be too ashamed to ask (or tell). Just don't go the old Anglo route of pretending it doesn't exist.

My parents gave me the book "Where did I come from?", which I thought was very good. I think it was just left lying around actually.Having said that I did used to walk to school with my dad who taught at the same school. One day he said "we should have the talk about sex" (making it sound way too heavy), and I caught the bus from pretty much that day onwards.

Oakie

27th January 2015, 18:51

My Dad died before the talk took place. I guess my Mum was never comfortable as she didn't bring up the subject.
In the end I got a book out of the library "What every teenage boy should know about sex" and taught myself. (Was actually the same way I learn't how to ride a motorbike five years later.)

caspernz

27th January 2015, 19:36

I'm sure someone (other than me) can point you to the correct Hentai title...cartoons have a magical way to enlighten us :shit::devil2:

oldrider

28th January 2015, 09:57

I'm going to fucking regret this, but here goes......

Mini Max, my ickle boy is starting to ask THAT question (no, not the one about why Steve Martin isnt funny anymore), more like the 'Where Do Babies Come From?'

So. its down to me to explain, anyone got any ideas how I go about this one?

So - OK maxi Max - where "do" babies come from? - :confused:

Swoop

28th January 2015, 10:36

So - OK maxi Max - where "do" babies come from? - :confused:

From women who have developed a "pie-belly"!

:msn-wink:

awa355

28th January 2015, 11:22

I could never, for the life of me, figure out what the 'birds and bees' ever had to do with people bonking:no::no:

Cant ever recall talking to my kid about sex education, guess he thought I wouldn't listen.

Scuba_Steve

28th January 2015, 11:53

I could never, for the life of me, figure out what the 'birds and bees' ever had to do with people bonking:no::no:

Oh, well let me explain... (it's an old concept so incl marriage in the mix)

The bird [bird] sees the bee [fella] - this is the attraction/flirt stage
The bird chases the bee - dating
The bird tries to eat the bee - marriage
The bee sings the bird - pregnancy
They both die - metaphorical for what happens to your "normal life"