It was one of those days...

[Edbear]

So I had a shave didn't I? I had just cleaned my shaver and it always shaves nice and quick after a cleaning. So far, so good.

Spotting a tube on the shelf I read, "Aloe Vera" so thought that was a great product to use as an aftershave. Put some on and started rubbing it in gently and my skin started to burn. Read the rest of the label... "Hand Sanitiser "! :argh:

It gets better! Quickly washing my face I looked again at the little shelf and saw a tube of Avon Skin-so-Soft. Fabulous, should help my now sensitive freshly shaved face. Put some on and started rubbing it in... Similar reaction! Frantically drenching the flannel I washed my face again! Read the small print- "Facial hair Remover"... :eek5:

Thoroughly defeated, I went out and found my own tube of actual moisturiser and glumly spread it liberally... :facepalm:

[Bikemad]

oh.......actual moisturiser...........my old eyes........i had to read that twice

[Banditbandit]

See .. men are not meant to fuck around with beauty products ...

A quick wash with Solvol, swipe the hair back with fingers and you're on your way .. pain and hassle free ..

http://www.oneforceaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/solvol-twin-soap-bar.jpg

[bluninja]

A good job you didn't need to moisturize any other sensitive skin :eek5:

My one of those days involves having a job second interview. Went so well the guy was talking about taking references and giving me a contract tomorrow. 90 minutes later a call saying it was a no go because they didn't think I'd stay long term as I was more interested in enterprise level IT stuff than 100-300 seats. So a bit like having that just shaved feeling and then having someone slap depilating cream on my scrotum. :crazy:

[BuzzardNZ]

So I had a shave didn't I? I had just cleaned my shaver and it always shaves nice and quick after a cleaning. So far, so good.

Spotting a tube on the shelf I read, "Aloe Vera" so thought that was a great product to use as an aftershave. Put some on and started rubbing it in gently and my skin started to burn. Read the rest of the label... "Hand Sanitiser "! :argh:

It gets better! Quickly washing my face I looked again at the little shelf and saw a tube of Avon Skin-so-Soft. Fabulous, should help my now sensitive freshly shaved face. Put some on and started rubbing it in... Similar reaction! Frantically drenching the flannel I washed my face again! Read the small print- "Facial hair Remover"... :eek5:

Thoroughly defeated, I went out and found my own tube of actual moisturiser and glumly spread it liberally... :facepalm:

try battery acid next time, I hear it works a treat.

[MisterD]

How many demerits on your Man Card is that?

[Edbear]

How many demerits on your Man Card is that?

I think I'm over quota... :bye:

[Akzle]

aftershave is bad for your skin.

If you need moisturiser after then your shave products are wrong.


'clean' your shaver??
Women clean.

A man would have said
'sharpened my razor.'

what a bitch.

[MD]

Real men have Swarfega in the bathroom.

I don't, what's that saying about me?

[Banditbandit]

Real men have Swarfega in the bathroom.

I don't, what's that saying about me?

You're a girl on a kwaka ???

(and you can't buy swarfega any more ...)

[haydes55]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him

[buggerit]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him

And stop wearing the wifes knickers:gob::sick:

[cs363]

(and you can't buy swarfega any more ...)

I beg to differ: http://www.mitre10.co.nz/shop/automotive_garage/car_accessories/swarfega_hand_cleaner_362503/

Also available from Bunnings: http://www.bunnings.co.nz/swarfega-gel-pot-hand-cleaner-500g-green_p00560993

It's still good shit.

[cs363]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him

Nah, then he'll be a hipster and have to build a cafe racer or a bobber. Or maybe even buy one of those BMW R Nine-T's and stay at hotels recommended by Trivago.

[TheDemonLord]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0kSuZFOwFE

[mashman]

Puff juice is for puffs.

[Banditbandit]

I beg to differ: http://www.mitre10.co.nz/shop/automotive_garage/car_accessories/swarfega_hand_cleaner_362503/

Also available from Bunnings: http://www.bunnings.co.nz/swarfega-gel-pot-hand-cleaner-500g-green_p00560993

It's still good shit.

O for Or-some !!!! It's back ... best hand cleaner ever ... thanks. I will go find some right now ..

(Seriously, I haven't looked for years because the people in a shop ages ago said "it's not made any more .." )

[MIXONE]

See .. men are not meant to fuck around with beauty products ...

A quick wash with Solvol, swipe the hair back with fingers and you're on your way .. pain and hassle free ..

http://www.oneforceaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/solvol-twin-soap-bar.jpg

I spray under my arms with Start Ya Bastard,wash my face with kero,untangle the mop with a wire brush and I'm good to go.

[BuzzardNZ]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EcUwDV171k&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_r2-2r-1-HM

[Edbear]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him

Hmmm... I think the Missus trumps God in this case. ;)


Nah, then he'll be a hipster and have to build a cafe racer or a bobber. Or maybe even buy one of those BMW R Nine-T's and stay at hotels recommended by Trivago.

Now, you're talking, a cafe racer! But not the R nineT. :pinch:


I spray under my arms with Start Ya Bastard,wash my face with kero,untangle the mop with a wire brush and I'm good to go.

Yeah, but you're a manly man, a rugged bushman from the back of beyond! :whistle:

[Katman]

it's a sign from God, grow a beard, as God intended man to do. he burnt your face twice trying to tell you to grow a beard, listen to him

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).

http://www.watchthetower.net/reasons.html

[Akzle]

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).

http://www.watchthetower.net/reasons.html

hush now!
Thats a conspiracy hat tin foil site!
It doesnt agree with 'irrefutable' shit liek ed has.

And his shit is irrefutable as, coz it didnt come from a source that disagrees. Shame on you.

[skippa1]

Real men have Swarfega in the bathroom.

I don't, what's that saying about me?
Swarfega is the most useless shit ever made for washing hands

[rustyrobot]

Swarfega is the most useless shit ever made for washing hands

Washing hands?! Damn - I've been using it to shave with

[mashman]

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).

http://www.watchthetower.net/reasons.html

I thought it was "wear" as in, no fake beards. Coz, I don't wear a beard, it grows on my face without my permission and then itches when it wants to be taken off. Never talks to me, but the fucker mimics my mouth movements in the mirror.

[Akzle]

edits. I might be a jw!
I could believe #20. And 80.

Although 47 explains why hes so fucking stupid. And 97: why mx5.

[Akzle]

Washing hands?! Damn - I've been using it to shave with

rbjiafp! .

[Akzle]

it grows on my face without my permission and then itches when it wants to be taken off. Never talks to me, but the fucker mimics my mouth movements in the mirror.

kill it. Kill it with fire!

[Edbear]

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).

http://www.watchthetower.net/reasons.html


hush now!
Thats a conspiracy hat tin foil site!
It doesnt agree with 'irrefutable' shit liek ed has.

And his shit is irrefutable as, coz it didnt come from a source that disagrees. Shame on you.


It's bollox of course. If you do have a moustache or a beard it is expected to be neat and tidy.

But then, when has Katman been right about anything when he's trying to diss me? Actually whenever has he been right about anything?

[Akzle]

Actually whenever has he been right about anything?

> you .

[FJRider]

Washing hands?! Damn - I've been using it to shave with

I hear Azzhole uses it as a lubricant ... :blank:

[mashman]

kill it. Kill it with fire!

I'm not going to be fooled a third time.

[Edbear]

That list is a Crack up. Typical of apostate sites. Anyone can find out the truth by simply asking me.

Katman's sole aim is to derail any thread I am involved with and attack me personally so everyone can simply ignore his stupidity recognising it for what it is.

[Edbear]

> you .

Considering your own standing on KB I'm happy for you to be Katman's fan club.

[Akzle]

Anyone can find out the truth by simply asking me.


... Said jesus.

[Maha]

Went to see our local GP today, I am sick of the several reoccurring Solar Keratosis on my head. I now intend to use that stuff that takes three weeks or so to clear it up. It's not pretty but with all the time we are taking off at the moment, now is a good time. The 8-9 burns I get annually are getting tiresome too.

[Akzle]

Considering your own standing on KB I'm happy for you to be Katman's fan club.

dont wet your panties just yet. Disagreeing with you aligns me with 99%.
Not that that in itself is a qualifier.
But...// fuck it. Youre an old dog, with no tricks, fuck away.

[BuzzardNZ]

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).

http://www.watchthetower.net/reasons.html


I think Ed failed #97.

#23 seems a little harsh! :wacko:

[FJRider]

... Said jesus.

no .. Ed just said that ... :rolleyes:

[FJRider]

... Youre an old dog, with no tricks, fuck away.

You're hardly one to talk ... :bleh:

[Edbear]

dont wet your panties just yet. Disagreeing with you aligns me with 99%.
Not that that in itself is a qualifier.
But...// fuck it. Youre an old dog, with no tricks, fuck away.

99% of those who disagree with me. :yes:

[mashman]

http://img.pandawhale.com/58236-sending-virtual-hug-gif-LOADIN-CfAL.gif

[Akzle]

99% of those who disagree with me. :yes:

rbjiafp!

that might be the most intelligent thing you've said yet!
(OR, the only coherent thing yet. but worth rep either way!)

[scumdog]

rbjiafp! .

Still can't give real rep eh???<_<

[scumdog]

You're hardly one to talk ... :bleh:

He ain't old, he's just silly...

[Akzle]

Still can't give real rep eh???<_<

murray took it deep, deep in the throat, and jentard is a whiney jevvagina bitch. 70 infracto-points in a day, would you believe!
has to be a site record. i cunt believe how fucking popular i am.

[Maha]

i cunt believe how fucking popular i am.

Keep on telling yourself that, you'll stay hard for weeks, the sheep will love you even more each day.

Enjoy your daily grind

[FJRider]

Still can't give real rep eh???<_<

"You must spread ... "

[FJRider]

... i cunt believe how fucking popular i am.

It may be a surprise to you how many believe you are a cunt ... or not ... :beer:

[Akzle]

It may be a surprise to you how many believe you are a cunt ... or not ... :beer:

theres no such thing as bad publicity...

[FJRider]

theres no such thing as bad publicity...

Publicity is hearing that assholes are full of shit ... :laugh:

Reading your posts ... CONFIRM it ... <_<

[swbarnett]

Real men have Swarfega in the bathroom.

I don't, what's that saying about me?
I don't use Swarfega anymore. Swapped it out for a spray bottle of De-Solv-It.

[swbarnett]

Women clean.
I always thought you were locked in the dark ages. This confirms it.

[Banditbandit]

Youre an old dog, with no tricks, fuck away.

he doesn't get to be an old dog without learning some tricks ...

[Oscar]

I always thought you were locked in the dark ages. This confirms it.

He's locked in a secure facility for the terminally deluded.
When Nurse Ratched finds out he’s been on the interweb, he’s gonna be in trouble..



http://cdn.lifeinthefastlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/nurse_ratched.jpg

[Akzle]

I always thought you were locked in the dark ages. This confirms it.

not 'locked'

i just have well-founded opinions that letting them out of the fucken kitchen only ever leads to shit.

[rustyrobot]

not 'locked'

i just have well-founded opinions that letting them out of the fucken kitchen only ever leads to shit.

Which is why you are single and have to pay for sex.

[Maha]

Which is why you are single and have to pay for sex.

He will only pay for it when he gets caught, he gives new meaning to the term Farm Hand.

[BuzzardNZ]

He will only pay for it when he gets caught, he gives new meaning to the term Farm Hand.

LOL, From Ed's shaving misadventure to bestiality.
Funny how this thread has 'evolved' :facepalm:

[rustyrobot]

Funny how this thread has 'evolved' :facepalm:

Ha! I saw a thread on KB once that was still on topic after 5 posts. I've looked for it since though and never been able to find it again.

[BuzzardNZ]

Ha! I saw a thread on KB once that was still on topic after 5 posts. I've looked for it since though and never been able to find it again.

Take a look at the Shorai thread, that one stayed on topic ( for the most part ) for over 3,400 posts! :shit:

[Akzle]

Which is why you are single and have to pay for sex.

you ALWAYS pay for sex.

especially if you're not single.

[pritch]

Number 69 on the list of '101 Things Jehovah's Witnesses Aren't Allowed To Do' is grow a beard.

(I think it might be ok for their women to though).



Love it! reminds me of a comment that I came cross in BIKE magazine, made me do a double take: "Bearded, Barbour clad, real ale drinking riders, and their husbands."

[MisterD]

"Bearded, Barbour clad, real ale drinking riders, and their husbands."

I don't think I've ever seen a Honda rider in a Barbour.

[mashman]

I don't think I've ever seen a Honda rider in a Barbour.

It happens

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/41/10/eb/4110ebcdcab2cbe1b266b44ba87b2f94.jpg

[Maha]

Ha! I saw a thread on KB once that was still on topic after 5 posts. I've looked for it since though and never been able to find it again.

Anne got infracted for taking a thread about Orgasms off topic :gob:

[Akzle]

Anne got infracted for taking a thread about Orgasms off topic :gob:

with you... she probably doesn't remember the topic...

[swbarnett]

letting them out of the fucken kitchen only ever leads to shit.
I totally agree - good shit.

Except for the fact that we males don't "let" women do anything. They do have minds of their own you know (although in your case you probably don't).

[Oakie]

(and you can't buy swarfega any more ...)[/SIZE]

Yep. Sure can. I just went and touched my tub of it to make sure. As others said ... haven't seen it for years but then found it again a few months ago ... in the 'original recipe'., Ah that smell ... brings back so many memories of washing up after fiddling with bikes in my yoof.

[Big Dog]

If your having one of those days you had better make sure which drawer your deep heat is in before choking the chicken.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[Edbear]

If your having one of those days you had better make sure which drawer your deep heat is in before choking the chicken.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

My chicken is well cared for...

[BuzzardNZ]

My chicken is well cared for...

More of a battery Hen I'd imagine :puke:

[Big Dog]

More of a battery Hen I'd imagine :puke:

Pullet maybe?


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[caseye]

Aw now ewe guys come on stop the banteming!