I need a wife.

[madbikeboy]

I need a wife. They cook and clean (allegedly). It would be nice to have cooked food without asking a waitress. But, one question. If you get a wife, do they mind sharing with girlfriends?


*In case anyone thinks I'm serious, I'm not. Wouldn't you get sick of just one furry triangle? :lol:

[mossy1200]

Took a Honda for a test ride and now your a bit confused?

[5150]

He is just discovering his sexuality....

[Hitcher]

You don't need a wife. You need a mother.

[Akzle]

try some asian flavour. Those bitches love cock, cook a mean curry, generally fairly tidy. You just have to get used to the hello kitty stuffed toys EVERYWHERE.

[mashman]

Get one off of the internet as they look to come with so many different flavours of submission that there's something there for everyone.

[Maha]

try some asian flavour. Those bitches love cock, cook a mean curry, generally fairly tidy. You just have to get used to the hello kitty stuffed toys EVERYWHERE.

Or he could simply move to the country and fuck goats.

[5150]

Or he could simply move to the country and fuck goats.

50 shades of goats?

[Swoop]

I need a wife.
As the saying goes: "if it floats, fucks or flies, it's cheaper to lease than buy".

[MisterD]

It would be nice to have cooked food without asking a waitress.

Buy a book by Delia Smith and learn to do it yerself :bleh:

[Murray]

I need a wife. They cook and clean (allegedly). It would be nice to have cooked food without asking a waitress. But, one question. If you get a wife, do they mind sharing with girlfriends?


You can have mine but she doesn't do any of the above!

[Moi]

Get off your chuff and learn to look after yourself...

[Edbear]

You don't need a wife. You need a mother.

What Hitcher said! :lol:

[sidecar bob]

Wouldn't you get sick of just one furry triangle? :lol:

Its a bit like having one bike for a long time, You get fuckin good at riding it, providing its a good bike & all.

[Maha]

50 shades of goats?

Not really a real concern on what shade they are, he is not that fussy.

[mashman]

Or he could simply move to the country and fuck goats.

Have you just moved to the country?

[Maha]

Have you just moved to the country?

No we live in a central North Island town.

[Stirts]

I tried doing a search for you madbikeboy. I got this...

310038

[mashman]

No we live in a central North Island town.

Surrounded by goats?

[awayatc]

Its a bit like having one bike for a long time, You get fuckin good at riding it, providing its a good bike & all.

Don't get one with a pillion seat....

or a kick start.....

Also a lot of classics leak,

and spare parts for imports are expensive and hard to get..

Think about saddlebags and topboxes or fairings..

make sure there is no money owing on it,

and be carefull with low interest financing...

but whatever you do, make sure you trade in your old model.....

[caspernz]

I tried doing a search for you madbikeboy. I got this...

I'm sure Thailand can export a few ladybois so the boredom won't set in...:wacko:

The most obedient wife/girlfriend is one you can inflate to 35 psi, or so I've heard...:shutup:

[awa355]

Cant have mine, she wants me to keep on riding bikes as long as I can. :first:

[Madness]

Surrounded by goats?

Inbred Maori actually.

[mashman]

Inbred Maori actually.

Maori don't like goats?

[sidecar bob]

Maori don't like goats?

I think they probably found it a bit tough after developing a taste for human flesh.

[yokel]

Maori don't like goats?

Hey, is it true what they say about maori girls, that they're always wet?

[ducatilover]

Hey, is it true what they say about maori girls, that they're always wet?

You mean stealing, not wet.
Easy mistake to make

[mashman]

I think they probably found it a bit tough after developing a taste for human flesh.

How do you know what the consistency of human flesh is, let alone tastes like?


Hey, is it true what they say about maori girls, that they're always wet?

I would hope so... coz some of them Maori boys are really hot and make me drip on a regular basis.

[98tls]

Its a bit like having one bike for a long time, You get fuckin good at riding it, providing its a good bike & all.

True that but sadly you cant mod the wife like your old bike,can only imagine the answer if i suggested updating the mrs front end for a later model one.:nono:What about some aftermarket rims love?....

[Moi]

True that but sadly you cant mod the wife like your old bike,can only imagine the answer if i suggested updating the mrs front end for a later model one.:nono:What about some aftermarket rims love?....

Her answer:

http://www.whetstonewoodenware.com/images/rolling-pin-heavy.jpg

[mashman]

True that but sadly you cant mod the wife like your old bike,can only imagine the answer if i suggested updating the mrs front end for a later model one.:nono:What about some aftermarket rims love?....

You best she doesn't take rims as shorthand for rimming... else you're in the shit once you're back from the market.

[sidecar bob]

True that but sadly you cant mod the wife like your old bike,can only imagine the answer if i suggested updating the mrs front end for a later model one.:nono:What about some aftermarket rims love?....

Ive always been quite surprised how much you can wring out of a small well serviced stock '73 model though.

[TheDemonLord]

How do you know what the consistency of human flesh is, let alone tastes like?

Wild pig/Long pig

*source - Armin Wies/cannibal tribes

[sidecar bob]

How do you know what the consistency of human flesh is, let alone tastes like?



I netheir described the tast or consistency, but I have eaten goat & it wouldnt take much to improve on that.
Maoris found human quite delicious by all accounts, so it may well be as best I can tell from that.

[jasonu]

try some asian flavour. Those bitches love cock, cook a mean curry, generally fairly tidy. You just have to get used to the hello kitty stuffed toys EVERYWHERE.

Yeah except they blow up like fucking balloons when they get the taste for cheese, full milk and pies.

[mashman]

Wild pig/Long pig

*source - Armin Wies/cannibal tribes

I like pig.


I netheir described the tast or consistency, but I have eaten goat & it wouldnt take much to improve on that.
Maoris found human quite delicious by all accounts, so it may well be as best I can tell from that.

Good to know, don't eat goat.
I guess the taste of white flesh didn't agree with them and they gave it up.

[ellipsis]

...baby goats, still on the tit, taste unbelievably nice...and you can fit two in a decent sized roasting dish...or six three week old pigs fit the same dish...yum...

[FJRider]

...I guess the taste of white flesh didn't agree with them and they gave it up.

It DID agree with them. As did brown flesh.


However ... both the Brown and White flesh concerned ... objected to the prospect of being eaten. And did their best to avoid it.

[Oakie]

try some asian flavour. Those bitches love cock, cook a mean curry, generally fairly tidy. You just have to get used to the hello kitty stuffed toys EVERYWHERE.

Stuffing kitty with toys? Sounds fine to me.

[Oakie]

*In case anyone thinks I'm serious, I'm not. Wouldn't you get sick of just one furry triangle? :lol:

Dunno. You ever get sick of your hand? :)

[mashman]

It DID agree with them. As did brown flesh.


However ... both the Brown and White flesh concerned ... objected to the prospect of being eaten. And did their best to avoid it.

Musta been how the measles started.

It still occurs... just slightly differently :shifty:.

[Akzle]

aww, this thread is so much rbjiafp.
I'm sure Thailand can export a few ladybois so the boredom won't set in...:wacko:

The most obedient wife/girlfriend is one you can inflate to 35 psi, or so I've heard...:shutup:
i prefer to drop the psi a bit... for more traction you understand.

You mean stealing, not wet.
Easy mistake to make
rbjiafp

True that but sadly you cant mod the wife like your old bike,can only imagine the answer if i suggested updating the mrs front end for a later model one.:nono:What about some aftermarket rims love?....
rbjiafp

Ive always been quite surprised how much you can wring out of a small well serviced stock '73 model though.
rbjiafp. but isn't '73 considered a 'classic' nowadays?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOV5WXISM24

Yeah except they blow up like fucking balloons when they get the taste for cheese, full milk and pies.
yeah but you're a fat americunt, so noone gives a fuck about your continent, we just wish you'd ALL stay on it.

[Akzle]

Stuffing kitty with toys? Sounds fine to me.

i knew a girl called Kitty once. well, her name was actually Constance, but she was working so she could fund her way through college...

mate, she could serve a ping pong ball that even a chinese guy couldn't hit.

rbjiafp.

[yokel]

try some asian flavour. Those bitches love cock, cook a mean curry, generally fairly tidy. You just have to get used to the hello kitty stuffed toys EVERYWHERE.

I'm going for Asian flavor, specifically Cambodian.
As soon as Immigration give the ok I'll be going back over to get her.

[Akzle]

I'm going for Asian flavor, specifically Cambodian.
As soon as Immigration give the ok I'll be going back over to get her.

sorry cuz. she's faking it.

there used to be a doctor on this site.... scissorhands. he'd tell you all about her eyebrows.

[sidecar bob]

but isn't '73 considered a 'classic' nowadays?


I'd consider it quite modern being a '66 myself.

[Akzle]

I'd consider it quite modern being a '66 myself.

i don't even think you have to pay rego on those anymore... they leak quite a bit though...:bleh:

[yokel]

sorry cuz. she's faking it.

there used to be a doctor on this site.... scissorhands. he'd tell you all about her eyebrows.

she's a women, it's what they do.

[madbikeboy]

Or he could simply move to the country and fuck goats.

Mmm. Goat curry.

[madbikeboy]

I tried doing a search for you madbikeboy. I got this...

310038

My mommy used to take me for long drives into the country. I always found my way back home. (Rodney Dangerfield).

[madbikeboy]

Okay, so some explanation is probably required. I visited a mate yesterday evening, turns out it was right around dinner time for him and his Mrs. Dinner time for me is anytime prior to the local takeouts that deliver closing. Dinner time for my mate is waaay better. He was sitting on his ass, and his wife bought him a gourmet burger. And then she went and grabbed him a Corona.

Now, this is something of a normal occurrence for me, women bring me food and Corona's - they have a technical term of "waitress". But, my mate, alleges, and I can't guarantee it's true because it's obviously heresay - but apparently this delivery of food and beer is ongoing, meaning every night, and he even gets his lunch made by said wife.

It's like discovering that unicorns are real.

I understand some people find an attraction to settling down with one woman, and I haven't really understood that - it's like eating the same ice cream all the time, sooner or later, you get fucking sick of eating ice cream. But, your own personal waitress who cooks really good smelling food and brings Corona's? Someone should market this shit.

And to answer some of the comments above:
1. My mommy didn't love me.
2. If I move to the country, the goats will all have paper targets stapled to their sides - goat curry rocks.
3. I don't get Asian girls - I've spent too much time in Asia watching Asian girls strip (assets from their stupid boyfriends).
4. When you're single, their is an endless supply of furry triangles (depending on your tolerance for stupid conversation and how fat your wallet is).
5. If it flys, fucks, or floats - rent it. That's excellent advice, right up there with some of the quotes from Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Camus, and the dude who wrote "pull tab to open".

[Gremlin]

It's like discovering that unicorns are real.

I understand some people find an attraction to settling down with one woman, and I haven't really understood that - it's like eating the same ice cream all the time, sooner or later, you get fucking sick of eating ice cream. But, your own personal waitress who cooks really good smelling food and brings Corona's? Someone should market this shit.
It's called pros and cons. Like owning a Suzuki because it's cheaper to own, rather than owning a BMW which has all the fancy stuff, but more expensive to own.

You choose one, enjoy the pros and live with the cons.

You have endless furry triangles, but no unicorn. :sunny:

[madbikeboy]

It's called pros and cons. Like owning a Suzuki because it's faster than anything, rather than owning a BMW which means you are well heeled.


I think I might have mis-quoted you.

[mossy1200]

The most obedient wife/girlfriend is one you can inflate to 35 psi, or so I've heard...:shutup:

I run mine around 18-20 psi. They get harder if you ride fast.

[mossy1200]

I'd consider it quite modern being a '66 myself.

Mines a 66 also. I gave mine a rebore and it rides well now. Its a bit noisier than I would like and has issues with a bit much feedback though.

[awayatc]

Mines a 66 also. I gave mine a rebore and it rides well now. Its a bit noisier than I would like and has issues with a bit much feedback though.

Throttle takes care of feedback.....

[F5 Dave]

Okay, so some explanation is probably required. I visited a mate yesterday evening, turns out it was right around dinner time for him and his Mrs. Dinner time for me is anytime prior to the local takeouts that deliver closing. Dinner time for my mate is waaay better. He was sitting on his ass, and his wife bought him a gourmet burger. And then she went and grabbed him a Corona.

Now, this is something of a normal occurrence for me, women bring me food and Corona's - they have a technical term of "waitress". But, my mate, alleges, and I can't guarantee it's true because it's obviously heresay - but apparently this delivery of food and beer is ongoing, meaning every night, and he even gets his lunch made by said wife.
.
And if that's all he does every night this service will disappear when she realises he's a lazy cunt.



And to answer some of the comments above:
1. My mommy didn't love me.
2. If I move to the country, the goats will all have paper targets stapled to their sides - goat curry rocks.
3. I don't get Asian girls - I've spent too much time in Asia watching Asian girls strip (assets from their stupid boyfriends).
4. When you're single, their is an endless supply of furry triangles (depending on your tolerance for stupid conversation and how fat your wallet is).
5. If it flys, fucks, or floats - rent it. That's excellent advice, right up there with some of the quotes from Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Camus, and the dude who wrote "pull tab to open".

I don't remember the endless supply bit when I was single.:confused:

But despite being a bit misguided there is one fundamental truth that I think we'll all have to agree about when considering human nature, and the 7 needs. That goat curry does rock.

[F5 Dave]

Actually I went out for lunch with the crew from work to celebrate international happiness day (its today apparently & seemed a good excuse).

Well looky here! Goat curry. Hot. $10.50 & it was nice.


Maybe that's what you really need is a local Malaysian place.

[jasonu]

yeah but you're a fat americunt, so noone gives a fuck about your continent, we just wish you'd ALL stay on it.

How does get fucked sound?

[TheDemonLord]

Okay, so some explanation is probably required. I visited a mate yesterday evening, turns out it was right around dinner time for him and his Mrs. Dinner time for me is anytime prior to the local takeouts that deliver closing. Dinner time for my mate is waaay better. He was sitting on his ass, and his wife bought him a gourmet burger. And then she went and grabbed him a Corona.

Now, this is something of a normal occurrence for me, women bring me food and Corona's - they have a technical term of "waitress". But, my mate, alleges, and I can't guarantee it's true because it's obviously heresay - but apparently this delivery of food and beer is ongoing, meaning every night, and he even gets his lunch made by said wife.

It's like discovering that unicorns are real.

I understand some people find an attraction to settling down with one woman, and I haven't really understood that - it's like eating the same ice cream all the time, sooner or later, you get fucking sick of eating ice cream. But, your own personal waitress who cooks really good smelling food and brings Corona's? Someone should market this shit.

And to answer some of the comments above:
1. My mommy didn't love me.
2. If I move to the country, the goats will all have paper targets stapled to their sides - goat curry rocks.
3. I don't get Asian girls - I've spent too much time in Asia watching Asian girls strip (assets from their stupid boyfriends).
4. When you're single, their is an endless supply of furry triangles (depending on your tolerance for stupid conversation and how fat your wallet is).
5. If it flys, fucks, or floats - rent it. That's excellent advice, right up there with some of the quotes from Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Camus, and the dude who wrote "pull tab to open".

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/001/384/Atrapitis.gif

[madbikeboy]

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/001/384/Atrapitis.gif

I'm sitting here, laughing my ass off.

[madbikeboy]

Actually I went out for lunch with the crew from work to celebrate international happiness day (its today apparently & seemed a good excuse).

Well looky here! Goat curry. Hot. $10.50 & it was nice.


Maybe that's what you really need is a local Malaysian place.

I have a Turkish, Indian, Malaysian, burgers, pizza, Mexican - all within 7 minutes of here. Happy International Happiness day.

[madbikeboy]

How does get fucked sound?

Are you and Azkle married? You sound like you might be.

At first, couples fuck everywhere, in the car, at the beach, in every room of the house. Then comes marriage. And sex resorts to bedrooms, and occasional shag on the couch. Then it becomes hallway sex. That's where the couple walk past each other in the hallway and tell each other to get fucked.

[Akzle]

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

The Test: Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's the happiest to see you.

[F5 Dave]

Pick up truck? Trunk?
I thought you said you didn't care about that continent yet you're quoting thus.

[madbikeboy]

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:


9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
.

I got asked this once - and apparently the answer isn't "fuck yes!". Who'dvethought.

[mashman]

I got asked this once - and apparently the answer isn't "fuck yes!". Who'dvethought.

Sounds like a selfish bitch.

[sidecar bob]

I got asked this once - and apparently the answer isn't "fuck yes!". Who'dvethought.

My mrs is resigned to the fact that I will. According to her they will be clamouring at the door before her body is cold. Nice to know she thinks I'm that popular if nothing else.

[madbikeboy]

Sounds like a selfish bitch.

She really was. LOL.

[PrincessBandit]

You don't need a wife. You need a mother.


What Hitcher said! :lol:


Wouldn't you get sick of just one furry triangle? :lol:

Last quote nullifies the first two I'd have thought...:scratch: (I'm guessing that the preference is for multiple "waitresses" who also provide furry triangles - Pussy Galore anyone??)310156

[mstriumph]

........
Maoris found human quite delicious by all accounts, ...........

so do Celts
I'm a Celt :shifty:

[mstriumph]

I'm going for Asian flavor, specifically Cambodian.
As soon as Immigration give the ok I'll be going back over to get her.

All the best
Get a pre-nup (that'd be my advice no matter what the flavour)

[Edbear]

I'm glad I got married before all this modern day complexity. We fell in love, got married, brought up three kids and it's our 38th anniversary this October.

[TheDemonLord]

I'm glad I got married before all this modern day complexity. We fell in love, got married, brought up three kids and it's our 38th anniversary this October.

Apparently you are doing it wrong ;)

[sidecar bob]

All the best
Get a pre-nup (that'd be my advice no matter what the flavour)

Or a family trust.

[Paul in NZ]

I'm glad I got married before all this modern day complexity. We fell in love, got married, brought up three kids and it's our 38th anniversary this October.

Same here - love at first sight and its never changed... Oh we have had our moments but never for long... Yes we all age but lust finds a way and there is nothing better than having your adult kids thinking you are both disgusting perverts.... In a nice way of course...

Then again there are those here more worried about getting a knee down than a leg over so.... :innocent:

[jasonu]

All the best
Get a pre-nup (that'd be my advice no matter what the flavour)

Assuming he has anything worth taking when things go pear shaped....

[Big Dog]

Same here - love at first sight and its never changed... Oh we have had our moments but never for long... Yes we all age but lust finds a way and there is nothing better than having your adult kids thinking you are both disgusting perverts.... In a nice way of course...

Then again there are those here more worried about getting a knee down than a leg over so.... :innocent:

Or down on one knee.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[awa355]

I'm glad I got married before all this modern day complexity. We fell in love, got married, brought up three kids and it's our 38th anniversary this October.

Just had our 40th, I think we are closer to each other now than ever before. We got a piece of advice years ago, 'Do what's right for your other half and everything will work out'

[yokel]

All the best
Get a pre-nup (that'd be my advice no matter what the flavour)

But she keeps saying 'you SO big, love you long time' so no need haha.


Or a family trust.

yeah, I don't actually own anything or failing that, Ill buy her a parting gift.

http://www.flemingtonprecast.com/concrete_shoe_pix_files/100_0244.jpg

[Big Dog]

Cos bitches love shoes.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[mossy1200]

I need a wife.

Need is a strong word. You need oxygen.
Maybe you just want a wife.
You need your head read.
See the difference?

[sidecar bob]

Need is a strong word. You need oxygen.
Maybe you just want a wife.
You need head.
See the difference?

..........

[mossy1200]

..........

Theres always got to be someone with A higher IQ prepared to correct you when your 99% correct already.

[Edbear]

Just had our 40th, I think we are closer to each other now than ever before. We got a piece of advice years ago, 'Do what's right for your other half and everything will work out'

Congratulations and that piece of advice is right on the money!

[Ntoxcated]

This thread may be pertinent :innocent:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/21997-10-commandments-of-marriage

[madbikeboy]

Last quote nullifies the first two I'd have thought...:scratch: (I'm guessing that the preference is for multiple "waitresses" who also provide furry triangles - Pussy Galore anyone??)310156

Pussy Galore has to be the best Bond girl name ever.

If I could find a woman who understood monogamy wasn't a form of hard wood, I'd consider settling down with said furry triangle. But, since I realise that Santa, Superman, and a good woman are all myth, I happily hang with the multiple available furry triangles on offer.

[Gremlin]

who understood monogamy wasn't a form of hard wood,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahogany

;)

[Akzle]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahogany

;)

:facepalm:

[Swoop]

Pussy Galore has to be the best Bond girl name ever.
Ivana Humpalot has to be the best parody of a Bond girl name as well.

Oh Behave!

[jasonu]

Ivana Humpalot has to be the best parody of a Bond girl name as well.

Oh Behave!

Alotta Fagina.

[madbikeboy]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/mahogany

;)

lmfao. 123456

[yokel]

lmfao. 123456

This could be helpful?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hKWmFWRVLlU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[madbikeboy]

This could be helpful?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hKWmFWRVLlU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Awesome. 1234

[mstriumph]

Just had our 40th, I think we are closer to each other now than ever before. We got a piece of advice years ago, 'Do what's right for your other half and everything will work out' but ... but... what if I don't WANT to shoot myself?:confused:

[mstriumph]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahogany

;):facepalm:

[huff3r]

Getting a wife is a brilliant idea.. Two words. Stag do.

[Edbear]

Getting a wife is the easy part. Keeping her is the tricky bit. :yes:

[madbikeboy]

Getting a wife is the easy part. Keeping her is the tricky bit. :yes:

Apparently, it's easy to get a wife. You can order them off the inter web. Like toasters.

[Maha]

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

[madbikeboy]

:facepalm:

That sound you heard was that joke flying past his head so fast, there was a sonic boom as the air rushed to fill the vacuum. Or maybe, it was a double fake sarcasm play. :facepalm: Now my head hurts thinking about the possibilities. How come no one has volunteered a wife yet?

[madbikeboy]

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

Funny story - I kept telling a woman I was playing hide the sausage with to turn off her toaster if she was going to fish toast out of it with a fork. She rolled her eyes at me the first few times, and then one day she learned her lesson in a pretty visual and painful way. It turns out women don't like being told what to do, and they hate the guy being right even more.

[madbikeboy]

They come with a Warning: Don't stick a fork in them once you've turn them on.

How's life going south of the border anyhow? Have you started cow tipping for fun yet?

[Edbear]

Funny story - I kept telling a woman I was playing hide the sausage with to turn off her toaster if she was going to fish toast out of it with a fork. She rolled her eyes at me the first few times, and then one day she learned her lesson in a pretty visual and painful way. It turns out women don't like being told what to do, and they hate the guy being right even more.

Yup! Especially the part about the guy being right. Also, if anything goes wrong, it doesn't matter who's fault it is, it is always the guys fault.

[madbikeboy]

Yup! Especially the part about the guy being right. Also, if anything goes wrong, it doesn't matter who's fault it is, it is always the guys fault.

What's with that? I had an ex that blamed me for everything and I dumped her because I started thinking she might be right.

[Big Dog]

Getting a wife is the easy part. Keeping her is the tricky bit. :yes:

Just don't try the Fritzel method. Sure handcuffs found fun now...


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[Big Dog]

What's with that? I had an ex that blamed me for everything and I dumped her because I started thinking she might be right.

Yup, you know you're whipped when you accept the blame for her being unfaithful.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[mstriumph]

Funny story -...... It turns out women don't like being told what to do,

pot
kettle
black

:killingme


and they hate the guy being right even more.

nooooooo - what they hate is witnessing this once in a millennium event and not having a camera ;)

[Maha]

How's life going south of the border anyhow? Have you started cow tipping for fun yet?

Still on holiday Mike, third week + now. Off to Taupo today to see a couple of people about some work, don't need a lot, just a continual top up would be suffice.

[madbikeboy]

Still on holiday Mike, third week + now. Off to Taupo today to see a couple of people about some work, don't need a lot, just a continual top up would be suffice.

I'm astonished at how expensive it is here… You enjoying yourself? Is Mom back to 100% happiness after the funeral?

[madbikeboy]

pot
kettle
black



You know, that's incredibly accurate. I have no comeback.

Hmm. Ladeedadee da da. Dum de da da. Ahem.

Still nothing. The lady wins.

[madbikeboy]

Yup, you know you're whipped when you accept the blame for her being unfaithful.


Yep. But I have have significant training and practice at removing the nice guy who used to be. I'm a total cunt now. Ironically, I get more respect from furry triangles as a result. Who'dve thunk it.

[Banditbandit]

Funny story - I kept telling a woman I was playing hide the sausage with to turn off her toaster if she was going to fish toast out of it with a fork. She rolled her eyes at me the first few times, and then one day she learned her lesson in a pretty visual and painful way. It turns out women don't like being told what to do, and they hate the guy being right even more.

http://weknowmemes.com/generator/uploads/generated/g1374850329291937162.jpg

[awayatc]

Remember that No matter how good she looks.....

somebody got sick of her shit....

[yokel]

Yep. But I have have significant training and practice at removing the nice guy who used to be. I'm a total cunt now. Ironically, I get more respect from furry triangles as a result. Who'dve thunk it.

http://manhood101.com/ebook.html download and read this ebook to take your cuntyness to next level.



http://weknowmemes.com/generator/uploads/generated/g1374850329291937162.jpg

never argue with a woman silly, and don't just agree with em to shut them up ether.

[PrincessBandit]

That sound you heard was that joke flying past his head so fast, there was a sonic boom as the air rushed to fill the vacuum. Or maybe, it was a double fake sarcasm play. :facepalm: Now my head hurts thinking about the possibilities. How come no one has volunteered a wife yet?

:rofl:

My theories on the lack of volunteers are (1) a bloke with a hot wife won't want to let you share; (2) the guys who loiter on this site like you too much to punish you with someone who didn't last in the relationship game with them (for whatever reason); (3) the foxes here are onto you and refuse to be "volunteered"; (4) the rest of us are enjoying being entertained by your efforts (once you catch your unsuspecting prize we will have to turn to lesser fare in the entertainment stakes such as, oh I don't know, all the titting and tatting going on elsewhere).

How'm I doing?

[Laava]

Some good humour in here but can't help thinking we could probably use another thread " i need to get rid of a wife/husband"

[mashman]

Some good humour in here but can't help thinking we could probably use another thread " i need to get rid of a wife/husband"

I would prefer an auction site to a thread.

[PrincessBandit]

I would prefer an auction site to a thread.

Or a trade perhaps?

310419

[mashman]

Or a trade perhaps?


Gonna get me a boat

heh heh heh...

[madbikeboy]

:rofl:

My theories on the lack of volunteers are (1) a bloke with a hot wife won't want to let you share; (2) the guys who loiter on this site like you too much to punish you with someone who didn't last in the relationship game with them (for whatever reason); (3) the foxes here are onto you and refuse to be "volunteered"; (4) the rest of us are enjoying being entertained by your efforts (once you catch your unsuspecting prize we will have to turn to lesser fare in the entertainment stakes such as, oh I don't know, all the titting and tatting going on elsewhere).

How'm I doing?

Yeah, I'm having fun entertaining y'all. It's a fun thread in a sea of not much fun threads.

[madbikeboy]

I would prefer an auction site to a thread.

You can't sell people on auction sites in NZ. But we're talking about auctioning a woman, which isn't like a real person…*


*This sentence is purely for the shits and giggles and for stirring the pot some. If this sentence offends anyone, I apologise. LOL.

[98tls]

I would prefer an auction site to a thread.

No need all the secondhand stuff ends up on display in New Plymouth,tis like a large brothel with all you can eat for...well nothing.

[mashman]

You can't sell people on auction sites in NZ. But we're talking about auctioning a woman, which isn't like a real person…*


*This sentence is purely for the shits and giggles and for stirring the pot some. If this sentence offends anyone, I apologise. LOL.

How disgustingly demeaning! However the wife does make an awesome hat stand. You can sell hat stands yeah ;).

[mashman]

No need all the secondhand stuff ends up on display in New Plymouth,tis like a large brothel with all you can eat for...well nothing.

What about the 80thhand or 90thhand stuff :shifty:

[Big Dog]

What about the 80thhand or 90thhand stuff :shifty:

That is still there.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.