Act my age?

[Biff]

I had to collect little Biff early from his school yesterday, apparently it had to close down due to the 'alledged' bad weather (bloody poofdas. call that snow!!). Slight snow mush on the road's surface made the going a little slippery - but nothing to be overly concerned about.

I pulled into the road on which we live and then proceeded to pull off the most impressive handbrake turn I think I've ever done - sliding sideways for a second then countering the slide with a little opposite lock and a wee bit of acceleration - stopping the car perfectly into my slot on our driveway - up a bit of a hill. Nice. Perfect in fact. Wish someone had filmed that.

"Dad!!", yelled young Biff, "What are you doing?"
"That son", said I smuggly," ..is what is known as a perfect handbrake turn."
"Grow up", he said.

I was gutted.

In the words of our Slipstream, "Has the time come for me to grow up?" (or words to that effect).

I am joking - I don't really care if you think I should grow up. It keeps me young. :nya:

[Uncle B]

Acting young keeps you young I say.

[Beemer]

Pompous little prick deserves a damned good thrashing for that comment! Grow up? NEVER! I used to get told to act my age and not my shoe size by my mother - well, I'm now older than my (UK) shoe size of 37, so yay, I will continue to act my shoe size!

Give him a few years and he'll be begging you to teach him how to do handbrake turns! And they DO impress the chicks, a few years ago I was going out with a young guy (12 years younger than me!) who was really good at handbrake turns. We went to a party, street full of cars and one space - and he parked with inches to spare! I thought he was pretty cool - until I took up rallying!

[Virago]

Hitcher was bothered by the horrible ass, yeah yeah yeah yeah. [REM]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SPORK]

Far out man, he obviously doesn't appreciate the finer arts.

Get him a Subaru Justy (possibly the most hilarious car ever)

[Big Dave]

Adopt the precocious little shit out. That'll show him who's *grown up*.

[Indiana_Jones]

act your age.....you say ACT your age........



TECHNICAL ERROR
we apologize for any inconvenience

..........Indy now runs about the run trying to hold it in, but he can't, I'm gonna I have to!


ACT IS BACK!!!!!!!!!

ACT IS BACK!!!!!!!!!

ACT IS BACK!!!!!!!!!

Done.

-Indy

P.S. Don't worry Biff, you're sweet :)

[Waylander]

Old enough to know better, too damn young to care.:nya:

[Storm]

In a few years time it'll be all you can do to stop worrying about what he is doing in your car.
PS Nice work :apint:

[Sniper]

Please tell me you didn't do that in the big Cresida :lol:
Bloody good going Biff mate, especially with the mush and stuff on the road making life interesting.

[Sparky Bills]

Bit more training i say and little Biff will be getting to those standards :apint:
Dont let up on him!

[Keystone19]

"Grow up", he said.


Secretly thinking: "Fuck my Dad is cool but I don't want him to know that..."

[jrandom]

pompous little prat!

keystone19's probably right though...

and never, ever stop doing handbrake turns. the day you stop doing handbrake turns will be the day Missus Biff starts making little hints about going to the doctor for those persistent erectile problems.

[Sniper]

pompous little prat!

keystone19's probably right though...

and never, ever stop doing handbrake turns. the day you stop doing handbrake turns will be the day Missus Biff starts making little hints about going to the doctor for those persistent erectile problems.

Im surprised you know about those? I didn't.

[jrandom]

Im surprised you know about those? I didn't.

biff being the studly handbrakeying studmuffin that he undoubtedly is I am making the asumption that he has none at present, but that any development of such limpnoodleness will likely be corelated with a reduction in handbrake use.

[bugjuice]

tell him to grow down! dagnamit.. I love doin that stuff (not boi racer shit tho) which is great fun.. I ain't gonna stop.

just remember (as said a thousands times) - growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional

[Sniper]

Point taken.

[Sniper]

.

just remember (as said a thousands times) - growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional

Hey, I said that first :lol: :2thumbsup

[zadok]

...ahh...out of the mouth of Babes. Had a chuckle at that one. :motu:

[Biff]

biff being the studly handbrakeying studmuffin that he undoubtedly is

Have we met? :cool:

[yungatart]

Never met a man yet who was all grown up-tis not the nature of the beast.(something to do with a "y" chromosome I think). I'd go so far as to say if it ever happened it would be a frek of nature, an aberration, no less.

[strayjuliet]

Grow up he says: Grow up? You're fkn kidding me, if my kids er children ever told me to grow up I'd er um I'd... Well I dunno what I'd do, but I'd do something. Grow up? Hell no! I wont do it damnit!!! ( :angry2: rant rave temper tantrum) (:done: Now i feel better.)

[jrandom]

Have we met? :cool:

fortunately not. I am sure that I would be unable to withstand certain temptations of the flesh should such an event transpire.

it's your 'bird that does it. I'm a sucker for a man with a Honda.

overt masculinity has always been a turn-off for me, you see.

[Sniper]

fortunately not. I am sure that I would be unable to withstand certain temptations of the flesh should such an event transpire.

it's your 'bird that does it. I'm a sucker for a man with a Honda.

overt masculinity has always been a turn-off for me, you see.

I thought a lady of your standards would be dubious of those who use possesions to attract you.

[jrandom]

I thought a lady of your standards would be dubious of those who use possesions to attract you...

an opinion commonly formed by those not in a position to attract quality such as mine by means of possessions.

every woman has her price.

anyway, it's not biff's bird that I want. It's what ownership of it signifies about the chap himself; tender, caring, in touch with his feminine side, probably sniffles with the itchy-pain when he shaves his monthly chest fluff, and always ready with good advice on haircare products.

[Sniper]

anyway, it's not biff's bird that I want. It's what ownership of it signifies about the chap himself; tender, caring, in touch with his feminine side, probably sniffles with the itchy-pain when he shaves his monthly chest fluff, and always ready with good advice on haircare products.

Fortunatly Biff is not gay. Although I do believe he has the desire to become a lesbian.

[scumdog]

As a responsible and rational upstanding member of society it behooves me to condemn such irresponsible and rash behaviour, what the hell were you thinking?
Goodness me, it is NOT the kind of behaviour I wish to be associated with and shudder to think how young Biff may have been emotionally scarred for life by you larrikin behaviour.

PS Until now I thought the term "pulling the hand-brake on" meant getting your missus to go on top when involved in a bit of rumpy-pumpy.....

[Big Dave]

I thought a lady of your standards would be dubious of those who use possesions to attract you.


NEVER underestimate the power of the Carat.

[jrandom]

Unfortunatly...

for you, maybe.

[Sniper]

for you, maybe.

Nice call, I edited my post on account of me not proof reading my statements.

[Ixion]

an opinion commonly formed by those not in a position to attract quality such as mine by means of possessions.

every woman has her price.

anyway, it's not biff's bird that I want. It's what ownership of it signifies about the chap himself; tender, caring, in touch with his feminine side, probably sniffles with the itchy-pain when he shaves his monthly chest fluff, and always ready with good advice on haircare products.

So, then you're saying that people who ride Blackbirds are "tender, caring, in touch with his feminine side, probably sniffles with the itchy-pain when he shaves his monthly chest fluff, and always ready with good advice on haircare products" : nancy boys, indeed.

Hmm. How many Blackbird riders on here.

*pulls up comfortable chair. Waits for fireworks* This should be good!

[Biff]

I do not shave my chest hair once a month thank you.


I use Immac.

[Lou Girardin]

fortunately not. I am sure that I would be unable to withstand certain temptations of the flesh should such an event transpire.

it's your 'bird that does it. I'm a sucker for a man with a Honda.

overt masculinity has always been a turn-off for me, you see.

Meee - bloody - yeow. :laugh:

[mstriumph]

So, then you're saying that people who ride Blackbirds are "tender, caring, in touch with his feminine side, ................................ and always ready with good advice on haircare products" ...........................

hmmm - according to that standard, the guy i went out with that had two blackbirds [one here, one in france ..... long story, preferred the one in france personally... it was blue - but i digress] should have been TWICE as acceptable? Hmmmm - I'm probably not discerning enough :msn-wink: - the haircare products bizzo was accurate though :ride:

[SlowHand]

the young bikling :baby: was coaxing you on? As in are you still doing handbrakes, cant you do anything more "grown up"? Has he been watching WRC? Should you be? :nya:

That's actually one of my small goals, get pretty impressive with my driving - do some rallying, and then keep it a hush hush till my kid buys a boyracer car, strap him in the seat, and do a little creative driving. :wari:

[froggyfrenchman]

Never need to grow up, do need to grow old though. Congrats on the perfect handbrake turn though!

[oldrider]

Give him a few years and he'll be begging you to teach him how to do handbrake turns!
Too late he already learned all that this time. Kids mimic their Moms and Dads every move. It will emerge when he thinks the time is right to demonstrate how well the lesson was learned.
Unfortunately their timing sometimes doesn't quite fit the plan and suddenly they are branded modern delinquents.
Oh the trials of youth and innocence. :spudgrr:
Good luck to you and little Biff. Cheers John. (Well done by the way).

[Skyryder]

Biff there will come a day when they give up. You'll just be "weird." like the rest of us.

Skyryder

[Biff]

Biff there will come a day when they give up. You'll just be "weird." like the rest of us.

Skyryder

I can't wait for the day that he brings his first girlfriend home, I put on some Old Skool Hip Hop, don my track suit and begin break dancing in the middle of the living room. I'll then roll up a phat joint and start telling her about the time I caught him playing with his penis when he was a baby, then began to urinate - covering his face.

Hehehehehe.
Revenge tastes better when it matures with time and age.

[Macktheknife]

They say "you're only as old as ya feel".....
How old is your feel?
Life is for living man, teach lil biff how! Good for you.

[Biff]

How old is your feel?

She's 21.
But don't tell the missis.

[Big Dave]

Hehehehehe.
Revenge tastes better when it matures with time and age.


My big lump walked in with a genuine '10' and I couldn't do it to him.
I just took him aside and said.....'good boy'.

[ZorsT]

My big lump walked in with a genuine '10' and I couldn't do it to him.
I just took him aside and said.....'good boy'.
I wish you were my dad.

My dad would rather invite his parents around (call me into the lounge) and then tell them how hot she was....

[Big Dave]

I wish you were my dad.

My dad would rather invite his parents around (call me into the lounge) and then tell them how hot she was....

You probably don't, I'm not fantastic at the gig.
Best i can do is point out to both of you that 'respect is a two way street'.

[Pixie]

If that's the atitude that this PC bullshit is engendering,When do they fit everyone for the grey suits?

[Sniper]

I can't wait for the day that he brings his first girlfriend home, I put on some Old Skool Hip Hop, don my track suit and begin break dancing in the middle of the living room. I'll then roll up a phat joint and start telling her about the time I caught him playing with his penis when he was a baby, then began to urinate - covering his face.

Hehehehehe.
Revenge tastes better when it matures with time and age.

Hahahahaha, shit now can I please come and see that :2thumbsup :rockon: :lol:

[Waylander]

If that's the atitude that this PC bullshit is engendering,When do they fit everyone for the grey suits?
Probably right before they burn numbers into our foreheads.

[Biff]

Hahahahaha, shit now can I please come and see that :2thumbsup :rockon: :lol:

Well - my lads a bit older now, and tends to piss in the toilet. But give him a lolly and he might do it again for you again.

[Sniper]

Well - my lads a bit older now, and tends to piss in the toilet. But give him a lolly and he might do it again for you again.

Ummm, not that. I was meaning when you dress up and dance. :bleh:

[Skyryder]

I can't wait for the day that he brings his first girlfriend home, I put on some Old Skool Hip Hop, don my track suit and begin break dancing in the middle of the living room. I'll then roll up a phat joint and start telling her about the time I caught him playing with his penis when he was a baby, then began to urinate - covering his face.

Hehehehehe.
Revenge tastes better when it matures with time and age.


Whoaa ol' son. Don't over do it. To much of that sort of thing and she might just fancy you more than the lad.


Skyryder

[Ixion]

I can't wait for the day that he brings his first girlfriend home, I put on some Old Skool Hip Hop, don my track suit and begin break dancing in the middle of the living room. I'll then roll up a phat joint and start telling her about the time I caught him playing with his penis when he was a baby, then began to urinate - covering his face.

Hehehehehe.
Revenge tastes better when it matures with time and age.

What if he brings his first boyfriend home ?

[Sniper]

What if he brings his first boyfriend home ?

I saw a baseball bat on the wall

[myvice]

PS Until now I thought the term "pulling the hand-brake on" meant getting your missus to go on top when involved in a bit of rumpy-pumpy.....
Hand-brakes turn?

[scumdog]

Hand-brakes turn?


VERY subtle!! Over the heads of most KBers. :Pokey: