Abusing the elderly

[awa355]

Ahead of abusing animals and up there with abusing children, I think the treatment of elderly family members is one of the saddest indictments of how selfish and low many people in society have sunk to, and it happens at all levels of society. I have seen this behaviour in my own family.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11464389

It is tragic that so many see their elderly parents as an inconvenience to their own lifestyles. I dread the time when I am no longer able to stand up to others and decide my life choices for myself.

[frogfeaturesFZR]

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

[Ocean1]

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

Aye. Like many I worry about how some, (most?) will manage in a few years time, when the boomers finally retire. Even if the current govt's promise not to fuck with national super there's just no way the pension isn't going to be substantially less than it is now, the economy simply can't afford it. If that's right then we're about to see an epidemic of pensioners in trouble.

Nor do I like the current trend of retirement village businesses charging the old dears pretty much the market price of their existing houses for a one bedroom villa, and then mugging them by way of service charges and compulsory maintenance costs. On the other hand the less parasitic retirement villages do provide a damned good option for those who would otherwise have to be in a traditional rest home / care hospital.

[Akzle]

white guys, huh.

Yay society and money and shit! Its good!

[swarfie]

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me :angry2:

[frogfeaturesFZR]

About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me :angry2:

Respect !
That's the way it should be :niceone:
Treat others as you'd like to be treated when the time comes...

[Tazz]

Money, whether it's having it, wanting it or needing it changes people. Seen it in my family. Step sibling demanded half of his fathers business, because it was his 'entitlement' :laugh: He not so politely got told to get fucked, but I'm still surprised that there are people out there that actually think like that.

You can bet that if we ever need to care for, or pay for care, that person will be the last to front up with any form of help.


About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me :angry2:

I had a similar chat with my dad last year with the same advice. His money. Any money received in the end is no substitute for him being alive anyway, and that being said he's been fawking generous to us anyway.

[JimO]

im abusing my 91 year old mother in law at the moment, i provide a house for her rent free and last week i put a 3k heatpump in, im a bastard

[ellipsis]

...last time a young cunt called me 'an old cunt', I construed that as abuse and smacked the prick on the nose...

[awa355]

...last time a young cunt called me 'an old cunt', I construed that as abuse and smacked the prick on the nose...

I get called 'an old cunt' at work a lot. I just remind the buggars that growing old is a life skill they haven't learnt yet.

Throughout life I have seen many old people that were hard strong characters in their working lives that simply folded as they got older. One lady said to me once 'I don't know why I'm still alive. I am not wanted by anyone'.

[Moi]

If you still have parents or grandparents alive - LOVE THEM! - in the widest possible sense of the word love...

I've just retired and both of my parents had died before I was in my late twenties... when my father died a colleague said she had no idea what it was like for me because she still had both parents, all four grandparents and at least one great grandparent alive, but she did say she realised just how important it was to love them.


Unfortunately, too many today act on "their entitlement" in all aspects of their life... 'it's my right!' - you see it everywhere...

The next generation will get a share of whatever is left after I've gone... and if they are lucky there won't be too many bills for them to pay...

[James Deuce]

Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.

My folks sold up years ago and moved down country. Best thing they ever did. They're out of the rat race and now Dad's gone, Mum, who doesn't drive, can still walk to the local shops and so on. Despite being in her early 70s she works, doing carer support for those less fit and able in the local community. None of that is really an option in Auckland.

[BMWST?]

im abusing my 91 year old mother in law at the moment, i provide a house for her rent free and last week i put a 3k heatpump in, im a bastard
good for you !My mum is 92 and has just has a fall and broken her hip.She was rpretty independent before but this has set her back heaps.!

[Blackbird]

I'll be 70 in a couple of years but was fortunate to retire at 60. My wife and I did all the sensible thinking before retirement..... buy a single storey home on a flat bit of land close to a city for access to major shops, shows, public transport, medical care etc. So what did we do? Moved to a 2 storey home with a steeply sloping section on the edge of Coromandel Harbour, 50 km from the nearest hospital and 2 hours from Auckland, Tauranga and Hamilton. Know what? We've absolutely loved it and so pleased we didn't take the "sensible option"! We see the kids and grandkids on a regular basis but are just too far to be used as a convenient babysitting service :laugh: .

It's a hoot getting home from somewhere to find a message on the phone from one of the kids saying "Where are you?" .... like we have to account for our movements to them :rolleyes:

You're a long time dead so we're committed to having as much fun as possible while we can before the bodies really pack up.

[HenryDorsetCase]

Money, whether it's having it, wanting it or needing it changes people. Seen it in my family. Step sibling demanded half of his fathers business, because it was his 'entitlement' :laugh: He not so politely got told to get fucked, but I'm still surprised that there are people out there that actually think like that.

You can bet that if we ever need to care for, or pay for care, that person will be the last to front up with any form of help.



I had a similar chat with my dad last year with the same advice. His money. Any money received in the end is no substitute for him being alive anyway, and that being said he's been fawking generous to us anyway.

Yes. I dont see a lot of it but that sort of planning is part of the work we do.

Fascinating. People are awesome. People are bastards.

[HenryDorsetCase]

I'll be 70 in a couple of years but was fortunate to retire at 60. My wife and I did all the sensible thinking before retirement..... buy a single storey home on a flat bit of land close to a city for access to major shops, shows, public transport, medical care etc. So what did we do? Moved to a 2 storey home with a steeply sloping section on the edge of Coromandel Harbour, 50 km from the nearest hospital and 2 hours from Auckland, Tauranga and Hamilton. Know what? We've absolutely loved it and so pleased we didn't take the "sensible option"! We see the kids and grandkids on a regular basis but are just too far to be used as a convenient babysitting service :laugh: .

It's a hoot getting home from somewhere to find a message on the phone from one of the kids saying "Where are you?" .... like we have to account for our movements to them :rolleyes:

You're a long time dead so we're committed to having as much fun as possible while we can before the bodies really pack up.

This. this is how to do it.

The key point is looking after yourself - eating well and keeping fit, and to a certain extent luck re horrible diseases and stuff. Then get stuck into it. Good man.

[Blackbird]

This. this is how to do it.

The key point is looking after yourself - eating well and keeping fit, and to a certain extent luck re horrible diseases and stuff. Then get stuck into it. Good man.

Thanks :niceone: . We try to eat well and get a bit of exercise without getting too evangelical about it, hopefully helping to offset the odd beer and a glass of wine :msn-wink: . Managed to lose nearly 9 kg in the last 2 years. Moving to a light bike with a relatively low seat height in the shape of a Street Triple has been part of the overall plan as my knees are pretty stuffed and surgery may not be too far away. Manage to do a bit of voluntary work to keep mentally active and after that, it's just keeping our fingers crossed.

[Ocean1]

Despite being in her early 70s she works, doing carer support for those less fit an able in the local community. None of that is really an option in Auckland.

Aye, it's what keeps some of them alive, feeling they have a role of value.

I'm very disappointed that today's PC bullshit has seen the end of pink ladies in hospitals and "untrained" teacher's aids in local primary schools. Old ladies represent the largest source of giveafuck in the known universe, and ignoring that fact does them great harm.

[JimO]

good for you !My mum is 92 and has just has a fall and broken her hip.She was rpretty independent before but this has set her back heaps.!
she is 91 and up until a few weeks ago was driving...."badly", she had a fall, broke her nose and wrist and skinned the back of her hand on top of a few broken ribs from a previous fall, she spent a couple of weeks in hospital and whilst there she was diagnosed with slight dementia and will have to go into care sooner rather than later. I sold her car so she isnt a danger on the road and about 6 months ago redid the bathroom to make it easier to shower etc. Its a snapshot of the future for all of us as we will all end up like this if we live long enough, she has gone from a strong hardworking woman to someone who has to be pushed around the supermarket in a wheelchair

[jasonu]

What a depressing thread...

[Crasherfromwayback]

, I think the treatment of elderly people is one of the saddest indictments of how selfish and low many people in society have sunk to,

Shuddup you silly old cunt.

[Berries]

What a depressing thread...
Think cougars......

[awa355]

What a depressing thread...

It is a depressing thread, but unfortunately abuse of the elderly is for real. Luckily for me, I'm not growing old. at 74yrs I plan to get shot by somebody's husband, while running down the street and trying to pull my trousers up at 3 in the morning. :facepalm:

[JimO]

It is a depressing thread, but unfortunately abuse of the elderly is for real. Luckily for me, I'm not growing old. at 74yrs I plan to get shot by somebody's husband, while running down the street and trying to pull my trousers up at 3 in the morning. :facepalm:
do you think gay marriage will be in by then?

[FJRider]

It is a depressing thread, but unfortunately abuse of the elderly is for real. Luckily for me, I'm not growing old. at 74yrs I plan to get shot by somebody's husband, while running down the street and trying to pull my trousers up at 3 in the morning. :facepalm:

I'm only 57. So I can probably run faster ... :yes:

At 74 ... you are unlikely to be awake at 3 am in the morning ... and LESS likely of running (at ANY time of the day) ... ;)



Perhaps ... if your worries are real ... keep company with single women ... ;)

[FJRider]

do you think gay marriage will be in by then?

I think it is already .. :scratch:

[Berries]

At 74 ... you are unlikely to be awake at 3 am in the morning
That's about the time you shit the bed isn't it?



My late grandma used to have a regular bowel movement at 8am every day. Problem was that she didn't get up until half past.

[FJRider]

That's about the time you shit the bed isn't it?





Usually later ... :(

[Robbo]

Three rules of growing old.

[awa355]

Three rules of growing old.

Doesn't apply to just oldies, anyway, without us old farts where would you young bucks get all your words of wisdom from? :laugh:

[FJRider]

Doesn't apply to just oldies, anyway, without us old farts where would you young bucks get all your words of wisdom from? :laugh:

Wikipedia .. ??? :facepalm:

[Moi]

My folks sold up years ago and moved down country. Best thing they ever did. They're out of the rat race and now Dad's gone, Mum, who doesn't drive, can still walk to the local shops and so on. Despite being in her early 70s she works, doing carer support for those less fit and able in the local community. None of that is really an option in Auckland.

Depends on where you are... if you live in the old city or borough areas you are often within walking distance of most of what you want on a daily basis... and there's nothing stopping you from volunteering in whatever area you would like...

[James Deuce]

Depends on where you are... if you live in the old city or borough areas you are often within walking distance of most of what you want on a daily basis... and there's nothing stopping you from volunteering in whatever area you would like...

WTF? It's already done! Years ago! What pointless point are you trying to make? Honestly! WTF is WRONG with some people? Did I tread on your bias blind spot?

Auckland is a soulless sprawling shithole of desperation. No matter where you live. How would Mum afford the move back? WTF ARE you trying to say?

Jesus wept! Pointless fucking post OF THE FUCKING YEAR!

[Akzle]

Jesus wept! Pointless fucking post OF THE FUCKING YEAR!

i duno man, pretty big call.

[Katman]

i duno man, pretty big call.

He might not have read much Maha.

[Moi]

WTF? It's already done! Years ago! What pointless point are you trying to make? Honestly! WTF is WRONG with some people? Did I tread on your bias blind spot?

Auckland is a soulless sprawling shithole of desperation. No matter where you live. How would Mum afford the move back? WTF ARE you trying to say?

Jesus wept! Pointless fucking post OF THE FUCKING YEAR!

Are you feeling better now?

Perhaps you should read what you wrote and what I wrote - I was not suggesting your mother move back. I was pointing out that depending on where you live in Auckland you can walk to the local shops.

[Paul in NZ]

I'm old... I've tried and tried to get Vicki to abuse me... sigh.... maybe for my birthday right? never give up eh? Thats the job...

[Crasherfromwayback]

I'm old... I've tried and tried to get Vicki to abuse me... sigh.... maybe for my birthday right?

Sometimes, you've simply gotta take matters into your own hands.

[awa355]

Sometimes, you've simply gotta take matters into your own hands.

Remember that old saying? If you want something done properly, do it yourself? :weep:

[BMWST?]

Sometimes, you've simply gotta take matters into your own hands.
You are in the wrong thread iykwIm

[mada]

Mostly comes down to $$$ and greed usually. In my own family I've seen members who were already well off and have tried to the rip elder ones off and take all their savings.

Feel quite lucky that the missus and her family don't operate like that - in their culture the elderly live with the family with everyone helping one another. Would love to do the same for my olds (if they wanted it later on) but not realistic given they separated half a century ago and have other partners, live in different parts NZ. Would say that's fairly common for a lot of kiwis.

I think retirement villages are good for the social and community aspect and health care - only problem is the massive $$$$$$ costs and if anything goes wrong its the clients who lose all - Christchurch Earthquake is a classic example.

Seems like a reflection of society putting $$$, consumerism, keeping up with Jones and long hours of work to pay for it, above everything else.

[RDJ]

Auckland is a soulless sprawling shithole of desperation.

This is keeper, thank you James!

I had to go to uni there. 5 year course. Once I didn't have to live there anymore - yay, went anywhere else :-)

[Banditbandit]

i duno man, pretty big call.


What ?? You want the prize for that yourself ??