Pukeko vs Test Ride

[AllanB]

Out for a test ride on a new bike this morning. Christchurch turned on a pearler - sun, warm temps, dry roads - idea early spring test ride weather.

Bike pre-prepped and arranged with local dealer (cheers).

Off I head - significantly different from the Hornet 900 and takes some kms to get comfortable - just getting into the swing of it and looking forward to the return trip. Rural environment.

A Pukeko (pic below as an example - real one is DEAD) starts over the road ahead of me, shits itself and take flight straight into the front of the bike (doing say 80 kms per) WHACK, gone - F-me that was close.

Brake fluid starts spitting everywhere. Bird has broken off the plastic brake fluid holder where the rubber hose attaches. No front brakes. I pull into a house and ask for a bucket of soapy water and rag. Older gentleman is happy to help and we talk about bikes as he use to ride back in the day but stopped due to health. Tells me I should buy it as it sounded great coming down the road ......

Call shop to tell them I'll be late due to ......... slight panic.

S L O W ride back to dealer who looks very relieved it is only the brake reservoir damaged.


I'll need a return visit to this beast, sans bloody bird to determine if it is a keeper.


Any similar or interesting test ride stories? A mate ran out of petrol on one .................

[Swoop]

What brand of bike packs a sad after hitting a motorway-chicken?
Italian?

[AllanB]

What brand of bike packs a sad after hitting a motorway-chicken?
Italian?

Italian it was. To be fair it was a large fat bastard of a bird. If it had hit the brake lever with the same force .........

[Swoop]

Italian it was. To be fair it was a large fat bastard of a bird. If it had hit the brake lever with the same force .........

Wop?

No wonder it broke down!
Size of the chicken wouldn't matter, it would have still been stranded by the roadside!
;) :rofl:

[caspernz]

Mmmm, a broken bike on the test trip? That would be a sign not to buy it, or anything of its ilk surely?? :bleh::eek:

[AllanB]

Mmmm, a broken bike on the test trip? That would be a sign not to buy it, or anything of its ilk surely?? :bleh::eek:

Nah. Not like it broke down on it's own accord. Unless there was divine intervention by the big guy prodding the Pukeko to commit suicide to prevent me from going Italian.

[caspernz]

Nah. Not like it broke down on it's own accord. Unless there was divine intervention by the big guy prodding the Pukeko to commit suicide to prevent me from going Italian.

Your choices are all yours. The last time I went Italian was in the south of France, but nothing holy happened, in fact one could argue a confession was in order :innocent:

Italian bikes are an acquired taste, one could argue even a love-hate relationship ensues for some. Best of luck with your choice :devil2:

[neels]

Pukekos must be drawn to Italian bikes, another kber a while back had the front of a Guzzi demolished by a wayward pukeko.

You're a good bloke doing your best straight away to prevent any further damage to the bike, almost sounds like you're thinking you'd better look after it as it might be yours soon......

From personal experience I can say that a jap 4 is a very competent bike, but an Italian v-twin adds character to going for a ride.

[pritch]

Considering the traditional recipe for cooking pukeko you could count yourself lucky.

For the benefit of city dwellers:
Place the pukeko in a pot with water and a large rock.
Boil for several hours then throw away the pukeko and eat the rock.

[FJRider]

I hit a Hawk (bird not a Police radar unit) on a suzuki GS1000S. It took out a fairing mounted mirropr with no other damage to the fairing. The remnants of the Hawks internals (and feathers) stuck to the fairing ... were easily hosed off.

[ruaphu]

Yeap similar vein here too, copped a hawk to the head,, nearly binned the bike in a ditch. damaged ma neck, was on physio for ages. Knackered the helmet to say the least. Visor pooped, and the helmet took a good whack, i binned the helmet. Hawk was DOA by the time it hit the ground.

Work mate got struck by a bliggan type of parrot five or so years back on his three year old gsxer thou. Destroyed the screen, mirror, front end of the fairing and damaged the tank, nearly wrote the bike bike off. Made a right friggin mess, never did get the poo brown skid mark and smell out of his leathers, poor bastard.


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[Laava]

I hit a Hawk (bird not a Police radar unit) on a suzuki GS1000S. It took out a fairing mounted mirropr with no other damage to the fairing. The remnants of the Hawks internals (and feathers) stuck to the fairing ... were easily hosed off.

I have hit neither but have had a lot more close shaves with Hawks. Pukes usually tend to fly low to the ground as they screech away! You were unlucky Mr B but also lucky you didn't get hurt.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/67271-Nose-versus-pukeko?highlight=Pukeko+helmet

[Shadowjack]

Not a test ride, but collected a hen pheasant to the right shoulder at about 70 kmh, around the Mahia Peninsula a few years ago. Ached for days after that.

[Fastmark]

A few years ago back in the UK out for a blast on my ZXR750 with a buddy following, pulling about 130mph (Yea I know what a rebel) on a dual carriageway when BANG! smacked in the head by a crow...

Luckily it was a glancing blow but shit I was disoriented for a few seconds. Managed to wobble to a halt at the side of the road and get off the bike, buddy pulls up pissing herself laughing since it looked like the crow exploded on my crash hat.
Rode home bloody slowly after that and had neck and back ache for days.

[Berries]

A few years ago back in the UK out for a blast on my ZXR750 with a buddy following, pulling about 130mph (Yea I know what a rebel) on a dual carriageway when BANG! smacked in the head by a crow...
Talking of ZXR's, I was following a mate who was on his while I was on my GPX750 on a back road in the Highlands. Family of ducks were crossing the road and his big fat rear tyre threw one of the ducklings in to my face. Luckily I had my visor down.

[J.A.W.]

You guys.. sooking it big time over a bloody feather duster..

Just lucky the Maoris ate up all them moas eh..

Try playing dodgem with a big ol' bouncin' roo some time, if you really want a squirt of adrenaline as a buzz up..

[FJRider]

Try playing dodgem with a big ol' bouncin' roo some time, if you really want a squirt of adrenaline as a buzz up..

Leave your sex life out of it ..


aussies ... :facepalm:

[Oakie]

Don't have to be big animals to get your attention either. Got hit right in the middle of the visor by a bumblebee once. Made a hell of a racket. And once at night in town with the visor up I got a moth right in the eyeball. Took about an hour before it stopped streaming. And just to show what a softie I am ... I hit a monarch butterfly on my knee at about 90kph wearing jeans and that stung too!

[J.A.W.]

Butterflies dont sting.. but get a wasp in your helmet..

The seagulls at Phillip Is. seem pretty blase` - about real fast G.P. bikes too, but they lose.. really..

[Laava]

Leave your sex life out of it ..


aussies ... :facepalm:

No surprises there...

[Laava]

I always have my visor up in town unless big rain. But one time, in Tamworth NSW I copped an insect in the eye at 40kph that nearly blacked my eye!

[J.A.W.]

Keep tryin' - ya might cop a fat juicy blowfly smack in the teeth.. spraying maggots plentifully.. spitters are quitters..

[FJRider]

... I hit a monarch butterfly on my knee at about 90kph wearing jeans and that stung too!

I got hit by a stone chucked up by a passing car on the kneecap ... fuck it hurt.

[J.A.W.]

There are worse things..
I had an adult humanoid stupidly, blindly, - run out on the road in front of me.. & cause the worst biking injuries I've suffered yet..

[tri boy]

Alan could work for D.O.C. culling Puke's on Rangitoto.
Better than the bloody short sighted contractors they use at present.
(PS, Puke's are cool birds.
Remind me of safety inspectors nosying around work sites)

[J.A.W.]

Alan could work for D.O.C. culling Puke's on Rangitoto.
Better than the bloody short sighted contractors they use at present.
(PS, Puke's are cool birds.
Remind me of safety inspectors nosying around work sites)

Yeah? Swamp hens are "cool birds" ya reckon.. well - they are Aussie imports, ya know..

[Swoop]

... to prevent me from going Italian.
Remember, you meet the nicest people on a Honda!


...collected a hen pheasant to the right shoulder at about 70 kmh
Nice work! How did you cook it?

[tri boy]

Yeah? Swamp hens are "cool birds" ya reckon.. well - they are Aussie imports, ya know..

Cooler than you bro

[J.A.W.]

Cooler than you bro

& tougher than you, too.. eh, fella..

[oldrider]

When they say Italian steeds pull the birds - I think they mean something else - you need to work on that a bit I think! :lol:

[5ive]

Considering the traditional recipe for cooking pukeko you could count yourself lucky.

For the benefit of city dwellers:
Place the pukeko in a pot with water and a large rock.
Boil for sevearl hours then throw away the pukeko and eat the rock.

You can also keep the water, and add some soil and gravel to make a tasty sauce to go along with it.

[Gremlin]

None on test rides, but:

- stones to shoulders (the soft fleshy area before the shoulder armour) from oncoming vehicles and mates ahead of me
- stones to knees/thighs
- pukeko to front of bike, broke indicator and thumped into headlight, solid buggers but headlight took it (indicator still taped up several years later)
- bee somehow got down my collar, that stung (har har)
- rabbit to foot which bent my sunburnt foot under the peg (inside the boot obviously)... that friggen hurt, the little bastard (and I'd tried to avoid)
- some bird flew across in front of me, feathers of wing suddenly in the bottom of my helmet, then slid off to the side. Mate following said he saw bird fly in and then *poof* an explosion of feathers.
- duck waddled out into the road, when I was pillioning an injured mate on his own sportsbike. I was doing 30-40kph, I swore the duck would move... it didn't. I ran it over doing about 10kph, and my mate swore we were going to crash. We didn't, but there was a feather or two stuck between the rim and tyre
- hit countless rabbits one night in rural Otago, as they were all over the road, running in every direction. Oh, also hares. I'd started aiming for them (because I was hitting so many) but upon sighting the first hare promised I was trying to avoid them. Then I hit one (not sure what it was, happened too fast) while cornering on a left hander, which sent me into the oncoming from the bounce...

Ah... wildlife :eek:

[Shadowjack]

Nice work! How did you cook it?
On the basis that revenge is a dish best served with a white wine sauce, I went looking for it on the way back out from the beach, but it'd bounced into the undergrowth, never to be seen again.

[J.A.W.]

None on test rides, but: Ah... wildlife :eek:

Well, ah.. technically, they're ferals.. regarding which..

A ride with a few mates on a particularly nadgery bit of farm service road the other day..
a bloody stupid golden lab came out to play.. & pursued the rider in front of me..
.. I just missed.. putting my right boot fairly.. into his fat arse.. by mere cm, since he dodged out of the way at the last moment..
..he still went A-over-T into the ditch at a good clip though, that'll bloody teach the bitch.. to play silly buggers like that..

[AllanB]

When they say Italian steeds pull the birds - I think they mean something else - you need to work on that a bit I think! :lol:

Hmmmmm - it did have very long legs!

[Oakie]

Considering the traditional recipe for cooking pukeko you could count yourself lucky.

For the benefit of city dwellers:
Place the pukeko in a pot with water and a large rock.
Boil for sevearl hours then throw away the pukeko and eat the rock.

Actually ... Stewed Pukeko (I shit you not!)

Ingedients: bacon - thinly sliced, pukeko cut into pieces, chopped onion, thyme, salt and pepper, 2 cups of water, grated rind and juice of 1/2 a lemon.

Method Put bacon in casserole. Add pukeko, onion, thyme, salt and pepper and the water. Slowly cook for several hours. Take out the bird, thicken the gravy a little and add lemon rind and juice. Serve with mashed potatoes.

This recipe is from the Aunt Daisy Cookbook. For the benefit of yunguns (and immigrants) she lived from 1879 to 1963. Apart from her cookbook, she was famous for her welcome on her radio show "good morning, good morning, good morning" but particularly famous for one morning adding to her usual " good morning, good morning, good morning " - "what a wonderful morning it is this morning, the sun is shining right up my back passage".

[AllanB]

Bacon makes everything better. I shall carry a packet of Bacon on my next test ride - life will be better.

The rawness of the Italian one surprised me - after the sophistication of the IL4 Honda, it felt somewhat untamed waiting to be released (alas the Pukeko stopped that!). Now this is not a bad thing as I am looking for a change. Even the starting process turned over slower than the instant varoom I am used to. Good, Bad? just different from the past eight years utter instant fully guaranteed reliability.

[Oakie]

Bacon makes everything better. I shall carry a packet of Bacon on my next test ride - life will be better. True!


The rawness of the Italian one surprised me ... it felt somewhat untamed waiting to be released (alas the Pukeko stopped that!). . You sure the truth isn't that the bike attacked and killed the pukeko?

[J.A.W.]

The rawness of the Italian one surprised me - after the sophistication of the IL4 Honda, it felt somewhat untamed waiting to be released (alas the Pukeko stopped that!). Now this is not a bad thing as I am looking for a change. Even the starting process turned over slower than the instant varoom I am used to. Good, Bad? just different from the past eight years utter instant fully guaranteed reliability.

Hey.. you aint really writing "Ashley Maddison" - in code here - are ya fella? Nah, nah, course not, that'd never happen.. would it?

[AllanB]

True!

You sure the truth isn't that the bike attacked and killed the pukeko?

Good point. Chances are the Pukeko's family are on some NZ Bird forum this evening telling stories of horror of this beast attacking their loved one.

They do not appear to have any spacial awareness - they are common around here and roam the edges of the road - WTF there are paddocks only a few meters away. Birds - like their human namesakes cannot be understood!

[AllanB]

Hey.. you aint really writing "Ashley Maddison" - in code here - are ya fella? Nah, nah, course not, that'd never happen.. would it?

I'm looking for a new career as well as motorcycle - creative writing or advertising blurbs maybe?

[Oakie]

Good point. Chances are the Pukeko's family are on some NZ Bird forum this evening telling stories of horror of this beast attacking their loved one.

They do not appear to have any spacial awareness - they are common around here and roam the edges of the road - WTF there are paddocks only a few meters away. Birds - like their human namesakes cannot be understood! True. I'm always keeping an eye out on my commute (top part of ANZAC Drive) but they do seem to keep just of the road most of the time.

[SVboy]

Once chasing that man shrek through from Springs to Murchie, I got a wasp in the helmet. Now that was a panic stop!

[awa355]

I would almost bet that very few here have ever collected a Mynah (bird that is, not the car). They have the meanest sidestep of any bird.

[eldog]

awa raise ya 2 blackbirds and a kamakazie duck left for the locals to eat
and a cockroach appeared on my face during one ride LOL

only thing broke on the bike was the chrome got a little discoloured.