Life in general

[nudemetalz]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

[bugjuice]

well said, and my sentiments exactly. Ride/live for now, cos tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Same with telling people stuff too. Don't put it off, just get it done. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I couldn't imagine being in your situation. I never want to know, but the envitable happens regardless of what we want. And just remember your friends are there too
love, live, laugh, ride 4eva.

[Sniper]

Chris mate,

I know exactly how you feel. Lifes hard sometimes and when we lose the people who we used to be able to turn to, it makes life worse. But you know whats great? All the friends you make (either online or off) that you can turn to.

My philosophy in life is to do what makes me happy at any point in time. Try not to tread on too many toes and look our for your fellow man. Enjoy your riding, it obviously makes you happy. Jump on your bike and dedicate that hour or so to your dad.

Take care mate, there are many people here who care

Stu

[nudemetalz]

Great replies guys.

Bikes have been giving me a buzz for the last 23 years and still will. It's in the blood and will never leave.

Remember: we're here for a good time, not a long time.

[WRT]

Take a leaf from the other thread and go for a ride with your pegs down for your old man . . .

[nudemetalz]

Good call. I think the wife and I will go for a ride on the bikes this weekend and leave all four pillion pegs down. This way if he gets too scared of my riding he can swap to her bike for a sedate cruise !!

[Blackbird]

You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

Excellent sentiments Chris.

I’m pleased that you had quality time with your dad and you’ll remember that. When I was growing up, my Dad was a rather remote figure because his work took him away a lot and he wasn’t able to discuss it. I always felt that I’d missed out badly compared with my friends. Dad passed away in 2003 and my wife and I went back to the UK to take care of his personal affairs. The 3 weeks over there clearing his house was a real voyage of discovery and I learned heaps about him that I didn’t know when I was younger. Really helped with closure. Even found a signed copy of the Official Secrets Act tucked away in one of his cupboards which put a lot of things in place!

My best friend was killed in a motoring accident some 15 years ago and I had to break the news to his wife and young family. You don’t want to do that more than once in a lifetime. It completely changed the way that our family live life. We live it a lot more fully than we previously did and it really helped in dealing with the loss of my father. If you deal with it properly, a loss can make you stronger in the best possible sense.

Time is so precious and it really has to be treasured – go for it!

Geoff

[Phurrball]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

I'm with you Chris,

It's not morbid - loosing a parent prematurely is something you never quite get over, even though you think you have.

I find that are always photos, or certain activities that remind me of the fact that my departed Dad was seriously shortchanged when it came to time on this earth.

I am ever thankful that he fitted so much in to the time he had, but I rue that I never got to know him as an adult; that he never saw me graduate; that he never met my fiancée...

You get on with it, but there is always a hint of a void that should be filled by something...

I'm happy to be riding a bike now - my dad had a bike in his younger days, so did my grandad (Great stories of him roaring off with my grandmother-to-be on the back - to disapproving gazes of course! :devil2:)

Those that went before us play a large part in who we are - I second your suggestion that we should spend time with those that matter to us, and get out there enjoying what we have...

Cheers,

Ross.

[Phurrball]

Good call. I think the wife and I will go for a ride on the bikes this weekend and leave all four pillion pegs down. This way if he gets too scared of my riding he can swap to her bike for a sedate cruise !!

I like that idea...the pegs go down on the next proper ride! (commuting doesn't count - Dad doesn't need to see how bad Auckland's traffic is...)

[nudemetalz]

It's comforting to know that I am not the only person who has these feelings (cheers Ross and Geoff) and know what it is like.

I was just a couple of weeks off 21 years old and had to (with my Mum and Sis) turn the life-support off to my Dad who was only 41. Just didn't seem fair. I kept asking myself what did I do to deserve this?

But then I got on with my life and made sure that I could make him proud of me. Getting married recently to my wonderful wife who loves bikes like me was another big milestone. He was there I'm sure of it.

Whenever I'm talking bikes to my friends he's probably taking the mickey by saying “In my day we had 58hp in a powerband of 2000rpm and square tires. Real men we were…”


Chris.

[bungbung]

Hi Chris,

I know what you mean, my dad died 6 months before I turned 21. I wish I could share so much from my life since then with him (11 years this year).

You do have your memories of when he was alive. Keep them fresh, talk to the rest of your family members about him. They'll remember things you have forgotten about.

[Phurrball]

It's comforting to know that I am not the only person who has these feelings (cheers Ross and Geoff) and know what it is like.

I was just a couple of weeks off 21 years old and had to (with my Mum and Sis) turn the life-support off to my Dad who was only 41. Just didn't seem fair. I kept asking myself what did I do to deserve this?

But then I got on with my life and made sure that I could make him proud of me. Getting married recently to my wonderful wife who loves bikes like me was another big milestone. He was there I'm sure of it.

Whenever I'm talking bikes to my friends he's probably taking the mickey by saying “In my day we had 58hp in a powerband of 2000rpm and square tires. Real men we were…”


Chris.

Right with you again - I was 19, Dad was 43 when the life support went off...

Being on the cusp of adulthood is not an easy time with something like that. Dad will never get old though...he had a damned good innings in those 43 years. :yes:

You're right on being looked out for too...

[skelstar]

Thats rough mate. I havent been in a situation like yours so Im sorry cant really share with you as much as some others. I would like to know what the 'pegs down' theory is about (if its ok) as I have heard about it in a couple of posts. This is a 'missing man' type gesture? Seems like a nice imagine to me.

[nudemetalz]

Yes it is. It's like their memory is going for a pillion ride with you.
Great concept !!!
I'm going to do one this weekend.

This forum is filled with very caring and generous people. I'm glad I joined.

Cheers
Chris

[Motu]

Eeeeee,a coming to grips thread.One of the best things ever said in this world is John Lennon's lyric - ''Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans'' My life exactly.

I lost my father when I was 13,so went through some pretty important times of my life without a father,but like...what you don't know you never miss....It wasn't until I was in my 30s that it occoured to me that I was brought up by a Solo Mum,it just wasn't like that at the time.

As life went on and I was ''grown up'' with kids and stuff,actualy just a few years ago - we put together my fathers family history,well,some of it,had a reunion,all that stuff.But some stuff my mother was saying was a bit conflicting,somethings she said changed,some didn't match events,so we were asking for some better history of her life.But she wouldn't tell us,it was her life and memories she said,she didn't want to share with us - but she said she would write it down and we could read about it after she had gone.

She died last year from cancer.....and one of the first things we found was a journal where she had written the years of her early life.Oh my God,what a childhood of hardship and mistreatment,although it was the 1930s and 40s,it read like a century before,child slave labour in poverty,love was completly missing from her life.It was more anger she felt when as a 17 year old she was taken to Auckland and abandoned to her fate...and saw how real children were brought up.Fate led her to my fathers family who took her in as one of their own,their own life of hardship making them a strong matriacal (sp?) whanau,her sisters in law were her real sisters,and one was holding her hand when she died.

A scant 20 yrs of happiness and my father died,she went to work full time,spending the next 30 yrs working in production engineering shops,doing a mans job and bringing up two boys - she lost the end of a little finger,had her hand completely crushed in a capstian lathe and broke her forearm on a tapping machine,not the normal sort of working accidents for a woman.

I didn't lose a mother,I lost a friend - she only ever treated me as an equal,one of the reasons I never left home until I was 23,we had no child/parent conflicts.I was not upset at all when she died,her illness gave us time to sort things out....but it has been very hard to write this,I've had to walk away several times.....

[vifferman]

I know what you mean, my dad died 6 months before I turned 21.

I was just a couple of weeks off 21 years old and had to (with my Mum and Sis) turn the life-support off to my Dad who was only 41.
Crikey!
That makes three of us then.:eek5:

My father died when I was 4 months off 21.
None of this, "oh how I do miss him" stuff though. There have been lots of times I've been through (graduating, getting married, the boys being born, etc.) where it would have been nice to have had him around, but...
In a sense I didn't really have a Dad. There was only one occasion in 20-odd years where we actually talked, rather than him lecturing me or whatever. Even though he was there most of the time, he was an absentee father, not really relating to us. I miss him in a way, but most of the time since he died has been dealing with feeling cheated, and also coming to understand the way he was, wondering who he really was (only had one conversation along those sort of lines), and resenting/appreciating the facets of his personality that I recognise in me.
I just hope I'm a better father to my boys than he was to me, and I think I have been. At least I've spent time with them, and let them know I love them.

[vifferman]

I was not upset at all when she died,her illness gave us time to sort things out....but it has been very hard to write this,I've had to walk away several times.....
I can understand that.
Props to you, Motu. :niceone:

By the way - where do you buy Loctite?

[Paul in NZ]

Wowsers...

A quiet little thread here with some great stuff...

Us baby boomers (I'm a late boomer) parents lived in a very different world and WW1, the depression and WW2 coloured everything. In the period between WW1 and WW2 some people went through very very tough times and while the religious right like to go on about the break down of the family blah blah blah, in a lot of cases we would not want to go back to those times... Funnily most parents that lived through it were reluctant to talk about it because they believed that somehow we had built a better world. I think largely, they were right (but lets not disappoint them eh)

My Mum lived through it all. Her Dad was gasses in WW1 and never regained any decent quality of life and her mum had to be the bread winner. They lived in public work camps in the bush during the depression... Hard stuff...

Yet, she came out of it a tough, loving person.

I remember her helping me refit the barrels on my speed twin when I had an arm in a sling from falling off my BSA... Never went on about it, just lent a hand and spent some time while dad was at work.

She died a few years back in her early 70's. Heart attack on the 5th Green at the Hagley Golf course playing in the final of the club champs on the second set of 18 holes, 2 shots down but gaining on her opponent who was 20 years younger.

Gritty stuff and while we all still miss her terribly I don't begrudge her death. Outside, surrounded by your mates, nice day, top of your game, full throttle... You Rock Rosie!

Vickster and i are off to visit her folks and my dad in 2 weeks... Can't wait!

Cheers

[Brian d marge]

I can point out how quickly things can change ,,,we Had a local wino ..Uma chan ..mad as a march hare ..walked around the comunity picking up cans and keeping the sidewalk clean ,,his job...harmless enough ,,,though you didnt really want him talking to you ,,,
Woke up last sunday morning to see flames from the top of his house ....25 min later the house was gone and so was he ...
From start to finish ,,,max 3o min ,..
So ( note to me ) what ever you want to do in life ,,,do it now ,,,( another note to me ..stop sitting in front of computer replying to KB ,,,do some work !!)
Anyway it was pretty surreal ,,,still hasnt really dawned on me ... but untill you see a house fire ,,,in full flight ,,those pictures on the news dont do enough ,,
So guess who has checked the smoke alarms ,,,and has an escape route

On the subject of parents I have 2 ,,, Ones Irish and the other is impossible ( English you know !!)

Me mother ,,the Irish one , is completly irish ,,,no cure ,,,daft as a brush ....The English one ,,me dad ...still hasnt come to terms with the fact that I am a mechanic ...and am happy cleaning bike wheels ...never mind ....
Still we went to Wanganui cemetery circuit and secretly I think he was very happy ... he was like a kid in a candy store ... I am not sure what he liked best the Motards or the triumph sidecar...or the fact he could eat junk food without the voice in his ear ......

Right I have to clean the bike after Sunday ...and get things organised for this weekend ...practice for an Enduro ........

Nice thread lots of good thinking ...

Stephen

[nudemetalz]

Wow !!! I never knew I would get this much response. Motu, your piece was truly something else, I'll shout you a beer when I meet you (I said "when").

Motorcyclists are like one big family. We have what non-motorcyclists will never understand. It's like a bond, an addiction, a drug maybe. We can get that adrenaline fix just by going for a wee ride around the block.
Do you see car owners waving to each other on the open road? Not likely.

Sharing my experience here has been difficult. I had to have a few goes at it myself as I found myself getting emotional as January 17th 1991 came back to me (incidentally the same day as the first Gulf War started) like it was yesterday.
Just listening to my Mother crying in the shower day after day afterwards for about 6 months and knowing I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
I could have gone and smacked over the guy who pulled out in front of him and hit him, but would have that brought my Father back? No.,it would have made me out to be the criminal,..and why put extra emotional stress on a family already there.

This is the first time I have ever done something like this thread and I'm glad I did as there are others out there have experienced far worse.

Thanks for hearing me out.

[Blackbird]

Motorcyclists are like one big family. We have what non-motorcyclists will never understand. It's like a bond, an addiction, a drug maybe. We can get that adrenaline fix just by going for a wee ride around the block.
Do you see car owners waving to each other on the open road? Not likely.


You're dead right about bikers supporting each other, but even more than that, Kiwi bikers are very special indeed, the best of the best. As an ex-Pom, I think I can say that without being too one-eyed. :done:

[SPman]

Wow !!! I never knew I would get this much response. Motu, your piece was truly something else, I'll shout you a beer when I meet you (I said "when").
We all have people we love, who are no longer here, for one reason or another. Your thread tapped into some.
As long as they are in our hearts and minds, though, they are never truly gone....

Live your days in the best way you are able, to commemorate those who no longer can.

[Jackrat]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

That's not morbid Chris,that's good memories an such.
Something to treasure, an he's with you every time you think of him.
I still feel the same way about my youngest brother who we lost in 1987,the best of a bunch of ratbags for sure.
1987 might of been a while ago,but it's still like yesterday to me.
Respect mate.

[Macktheknife]

Thanks for starting this thread mate, I also lost my Dad, and my brother too. I miss them every day, but not in a sad way if you know what I mean. I feel a little ripped off that they are not here to share their views and experience with me, and share in the joys of my life, I know my dad would be proud of me and what I have managed to achieve. There have been many times when I really wished I could just talk to him again.
I want to just say though, as wonderful as that would be for me, or anyone else, he did a great job of preparing me for life and I am inspired by his example. Although I will probably never be a dad myself, if I was to be so lucky I would want to make as good a job of it as he did.
I propose a toast to all fathers, present and not, what they did was their best, let us thank them and drink to their health.
My heartfelt thanks to everyone who had the courage to share their experiences.

[inlinefour]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

Agree completely about the bikes. I've got a father somewhere but he is a drop kick that I have nothing to do with. Not sure which is worse. :mellow:

[Rhino]

After posting the thread recently with my Father’s Mach111 pics, got me thinking.
It stirred up a lot of emotions that I thought I had dealt with. It’s not until you lose someone who was so close to you that you realise how fragile life is and once they’ve gone, they ain’t coming back.
I get so jealous of people saying they’re going to spend the weekend with their father.
You know, I would sell all of my possessions (bikes included) just to have 15 more minutes with my father.

People on the forum get hung up so much on how this bike is better than that bike, or “why did you buy that??” It’s not about better machinery, it’s about enjoying the riding and what makes us feel alive.

I’m sorry if this thread has sounded morbid. It’s not meant to. It’s more like, don’t take life for granted. Go and do the things you keep putting off and more importantly, spend that time with your families that you keep putting off !!!

Cheers
Chris

Hi Chris,

I know what you feel. It doesn't get easier, even if your parent has past the "three score years and ten." My father collapsed on the bowling green and was dead before he hit the ground. It still hurt like hell, and as an only child, dealing with a very distraught spouse (they had been married 53 years) was not easy.

This happened in January 2001, but sometimes the pain returns.

As has been suggested, go out and do a "pegs down" ride. I'm sure your Dad would enjoy it too. :niceone:

[nudemetalz]

Thanks, Rhino,.

The last bike he rode was in 1990 when he took my VF500F out for a ride with Mum on the back one sunny Sunday afternoon.
He hadn't ridden for a few years and came back with a huge smile on his face, saying what a lovely bike to ride (it was !!). I could see that glint returning. I will never forget that.

[Zed]

My Dad is still alive and kicking, he is in his mid-60's and I am in my mid-30's. We get along better now than we ever did before (same as with my Mum, they divorced when I was 12 btw). He currently lives in Wellsford and I rode up to visit him on my beloved motorsickle the other week. Well to cut a long story short, he had to go down the road to the shops and ended up reversing his car into my bike and knocking it over causing scratching to the fairing and a dent in the LH muffler...but I was more concerned with how rotten he felt about doing it than how much damaged was caused.

You were right about bikes & such possessions nudemetalz, they should never become more important than loved ones!