the whys of men...sorry more male bashing!

[feistyredhead]

1 . WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

And my personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and

laughter in your heart......Then you are just an old sour fart. :killingme

[Lou Girardin]

Why do men die before women?







Because they want to.

[feistyredhead]

Why do men die before women?







Because they want to.

ahh too true!

[Gremlin]

Why do men die before women?

Because they want to.
Yay, what a comeback from the men. Go Lou!! :devil2:

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb??

One man that is suddenly their best friend

[TerminalAddict]

how does a blonde change a lightbulb.



She holds it in the air, and the world revolves around her.

[ManDownUnder]

Why do women live longer than men

They don't have wives...

yeah - I know just a variation on a theme - it's late... forgive me

[The_Dover]

Why do women get periods???

Because they fucken deserve them!!!

[texmo]

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common."
said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?"

"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract' ... " was
the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."

[Macktheknife]

In the spirit of a little man-bashing (I am a secure fella)
Why is a man like a floor tile???


Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for life!
And then the response... sorry ladies.


Why is a woman like a box of KFC???



Once you are done with the thighs and the breasts
all you have left is a greasy box to stick your bone in!

[curious george]

Once you are done with the thighs and the breasts
all you have left is a greasy box to stick your bone in!
Soooooo wrong, but I had to laugh..
Take that FRH!

[Sniper]

Why is a woman like a box of KFC???



Once you are done with the thighs and the breasts
all you have left is a greasy box to stick your bone in!

Shit thats good!!! :laugh:

[Cibby]

In the spirit of a little man-bashing (I am a secure fella)
Why is a man like a floor tile???


Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for life!



haha nice..

Note to self.. work on laying technique.

[Sniper]

haha nice..

Note to self.. work on laying technique.

Bug and MDU said they would help

[Cibby]

Bug and MDU said they would help


hahahahahhhaha

Geeze sniper.. I'm a taken women with a rep to look after.. Stop hijacking threads and turning them down to the gutter for your own evil purposes.

[Sniper]

hahahahahhhaha

Geeze sniper.. I'm a taken women with a rep to look after.. Stop hijacking threads and turning them down to the gutter for your own evil purposes.

:whistle: :whistle:

[Wolf]

hahahahahhhaha

Geeze sniper.. I'm a taken women with a rep to look after.. Stop hijacking threads and turning them down to the gutter for your own evil purposes.
Yeah, Sniper, that's Buggy's job FFS!

[ManDownUnder]

Yeah, Sniper, that's Buggy's job FFS!

...and he does it all too well.. he's my persperation inspiration

[ManDownUnder]

hahahahahhhaha

Geeze sniper.. I'm a taken women with a rep to look after.. Stop hijacking threads and turning them down to the gutter for your own evil purposes.

:whistle:
Yeah sniper - stop ..*snigger*.. being ...he he... filth ..PAWAHAHAHAHAHAH... filthy.... :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[bugjuice]

lol.. I haven't even posted in here, and yet my reputation preceeds me..

[Wolf]

lol.. I haven't even posted in here, and yet my reputation preceeds me..
didn't you refer to it as "ego" in another thread?

[Sniper]

I don't need to post, I think me presence preceeds me. Now where are my presents???

MDU, thats a rather evil laugh, so please put both hands where I can see them

[bugjuice]

didn't you refer to it as "ego" in another thread?
well, that too, but one is ever so slightly larger than the other..

[ManDownUnder]

I don't need to post, I think me presence preceeds me. Now where are my presents???

MDU, thats a rather evil laugh, so please put both hands where I can see them

You don't need presents - you need toys... and all the toys I need are in my pants...

... and no - you can't see my hands, not since the day I cut the bottom out of my pockets...

[ManDownUnder]

well, that too, but one is ever so slightly larger than the other..

I have that problem too... makes me walk in circles if I'm not careful

[Cibby]

You don't need presents - you need toys... and all the toys I need are in my pants...

... and no - you can't see my hands, not since the day I cut the bottom out of my pockets...

what is up with the 4 of us following each other around threads. haha

well my two cents worth..

MDU are you offering sniper the use of your "toys"

[Cibby]

lol.. I haven't even posted in here, and yet my reputation preceeds me..

ofcourse it does.

I think sniper has some kind of obsession...... :shutup:

[Sniper]

I think sniper has some kind of obsession...... :shutup:

I take offence to that, what obsession would that be

[Cibby]

I take offence to that, what obsession would that be

cant be confirmed..

:psst:

[Storm]

Maybe its a franchise- Shifty Deviants Inc? :bleh:

[Lou Girardin]

haha nice..

Note to self.. work on laying technique.

Rule No:1 Don't use mortar as lubricant.

[bugjuice]

Rule No:1 Don't use mortar as lubricant.
be careful where you place the brick (I said brick, not penis..)

[Sniper]

(I said brick, not penis..)

You meant penis.

[bugjuice]

You meant penis.
but I said brick

[Lou Girardin]

Shit a brick!

[Wolf]

but I said brick
So, you said brick but meant penis. Hmmm, sounds like something Freudian is happening...

[bugjuice]

don't bring Mr Freudian into this, Sniper is getting excited enough as it is..

[Sniper]

Am not, Im sitting at my desk perving at the hot chick we have here on work experience.

[WRT]

You may have said brick, but I read prick . . . only 'cause I know how you think. I just assumed you had hit b instead of p . . .

[ZorsT]

Am not, Im sitting at my desk perving at the hot chick we have here on work experience.
GET HER NUMBER

[WRT]

Am not, Im sitting at my desk perving at the hot chick we have here on work experience.

Photo please? ;)

[bugjuice]

well a rep point (except for Postie) to who can say what I knicked the line from in brackets..

And snipe, I have a few chicks around here to. does my head in (or I wish). Got a camera? for HR purposes of course..

[Sniper]

I'll see if I can snap her on my camera phone. I have managed to be invited to her 21st though. Not that Im keen on going as its dress up. So I have a free invite for anyone.

[Sniper]

And snipe, I have a few chicks around here to. does my head in (or I wish). Got a camera? for HR purposes of course..

Anytime I mention head I get odd stares so now I just mention cranium.

[ManDownUnder]

MDU are you offering sniper the use of your "toys"

you yes - him - good GOD no...

[bugjuice]

I'll see if I can snap her on my camera phone. I have managed to be invited to her 21st though. Not that Im keen on going as its dress up. So I have a free invite for anyone.
what type of fancy dress party? We can help you come up with something worthy..

[Sniper]

what type of fancy dress party? We can help you come up with something worthy..

A C&D. I have no fucken idea what that means but apparently she is going as a nurse with an eyepatch (WTF :weird:)

[bugjuice]

A C&D. I have no fucken idea what that means but apparently she is going as a nurse with an eyepatch (WTF :weird:)
C&D? a nurse with an eye patch? lamo.. :rofl:

[WRT]

A C&D. I have no fucken idea what that means but apparently she is going as a nurse with an eyepatch (WTF :weird:)

Anything to do with Kill Bill?

[Sniper]

Anything to do with Kill Bill?

Possible, but at the risk of someone poking my eye out with ANYTHING, Im not going.

[ManDownUnder]

Possible, but at the risk of someone poking my eye out with ANYTHING, Im not going.

I hear ya... only possible exception is (wome's) nipples... I mean if you're going to see nothing ever again... what better last view?

[WRT]

Possible, but at the risk of someone poking my eye out with ANYTHING, Im not going.

You reckon you are safer round here? :Pokey:

So, C&D . . . Cut and Dissect? Or Cut and Dried? Crass and Drunken?

Come and Destroy? Chips and Dip? Curry and Drinks?

[ManDownUnder]

Chips and Dip? Curry and Drinks?

Yes please - don't put too much "oomff" in the curry though. It's ok going down but coming out in a hurry ain't nice...

[bugjuice]

Come and Destroy?
only when I've not had it for a while

[Sniper]

You reckon you are safer round here? :Pokey:


I am safer round here. I don't need my sanity.

[Sniper]

I hear ya... only possible exception is (wome's) nipples... I mean if you're going to see nothing ever again... what better last view?

Point taken (Pun intended)

[WRT]

I've heard of an eye for an eye, and tit for tat, but what's MDU on about? Tit for an eye, or an eye for a tat?

[WRT]

only when I've not had it for a while

Then its more like Cum and Deluge . . .

[Sniper]

Cum and desert?

[Phurrball]

There seem to be a cluster of KB deviants, roaming hither and yon in our corner of cyberspace hijacking threads...everything they touch with their keystrokes turns to filth!:devil2:

(deviants deviating diatribes dilligently with their deviance no less!)

Good work! I need something to keep me amused...

I am the only male at my work...This is generally OK except for discussions about childbirth...