Heart Surgeon vs Harley mechanic

[Oakie]

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage.

“Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its’ heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic…..

“Try doing it with the engine running.”

[JimO]

do you have any older jokes?

[Oakie]

do you have any older jokes? Well I did lift it off a site for the over 50s so I'm sure I can find older.

For now though ... if you want old ...

Horse walks into a bar. Barman says "Why the long face?"

A young American Indian asks his father, the Chief, how he named his 3 children. Chief says "Well my son, I named yopu all for the first wonder of nature I saw when I walked from the teepee after each of you was born. Your sister, I looked up and saw the saw the wind blowing the clouds across the sun. I called your elder sister 'Passing Cloud'. For your younger sister I looked out and saw the waters of the creek that tumbles past our home. I called her 'Laughing Water'. Now why do you ask me this Two Dogs Fucking?

[seattle smitty]

Recycle old jokes? Sure!!

Two guys strolling through a neighborhood spot a very large German Shepherd lying on its side in the middle of a yard, slowly and intently licking its private parts with audible lushing sounds. One guy says, "Gosh, I wish I could do that!!" His buddy responds, "Uh, maybe you should find out if he's friendly . . ."

A big-shot business executive in downtown Seattle leaves the office at noon every day and walks a block to his favorite lunch locale, a small Chinese restaurant. And each time, his order is taken by the same waiter, Chong, who always ends by asking, "Sah, you wa' flied lice??" And every time, the snotty exec expostulates in a loud voice, "Chong, you've been here for years, when are you going to learn English?? It's FRIED RICE, FRIED RICE, dammit!!" Chong never responds.
The big-shot exec goes out of town for a few weeks. Having returned, he takes his usual lunchtime walk to the Chinese restaurant, where he places his order, with Chong. Chong finishes taking the order by asking, "Sah, you wa' fried rice??" At this, the businessman loudly and triumphantly exclaims, "Well, Chong, so you've finally learned English!!" To which Chong immediately and emphatically snaps, "That light, you plick!!!!"

[Sam Gallagher]

Two guys strolling through a neighborhood spot a very large German Shepherd lying on its side in the middle of a yard, slowly and intently licking its private parts with audible lushing sounds. One guy says, "Gosh, I wish I could do that (https://777spinslot.com/deck-the-halls)!!" His buddy responds, "Uh, maybe you should find out if he's friendly . . ."

Thanks for the laugh! The very best medicine.

[GazzaH]

A man walks into a bar.

"Ouch!" he says.

It was an iron bar.

[Tommy Cooper]