If God exists, he is developing a sense of Irony... [Archive]

Akzle

23rd April 2018, 13:28

ahem.

I've met god. She's black.

but, probably more historically important (from the bottom of OP's link)

Should you keep gherkins in the fridge?
I do, once the jar is opened. otherwise they go soggy, and nobody likes a soggy pickle.

FlangMasterJ

23rd April 2018, 16:00

"I got tired of looking at this rubbish and I thought I'd quickly burn it before I go away. And things evolved from there."

AllanB

23rd April 2018, 18:00

So he saw the light?

sidecar bob

23rd April 2018, 18:14

God clearly thinks he's a cunt.

Honest Andy

23rd April 2018, 18:51

Fuck that's classic! :killingme
I'd like to tell god what a good joke that is but we aren't currently on speaking terms... :whistle:

Laava

23rd April 2018, 18:53

Holy fuck! Profit Tamaki got burned?

george formby

23rd April 2018, 19:09

ahem.

I've met god. She's black.

Since when did Alanis Morissette go black?

Any hoo, on the Life of Brian. I believe that Alanis stated in her book that those who sully her works will be smited by fire and brimstone.

Rock on.:Punk:

Voltaire

23rd April 2018, 19:10

Perhaps he was trying to get acclimatized.

Grumph

23rd April 2018, 19:36

Perhaps he was trying to get acclimatized.

According to the telly tonight, he now finds it difficult to go out in sunlight....But is off on holiday. One wonders where to ?

george formby

23rd April 2018, 19:40

According to the telly tonight, he now finds it difficult to go out in sunlight....But is off on holiday. One wonders where to ?

Here ya go.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KQRjhZyXJFg" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

TheDemonLord

23rd April 2018, 19:59

Also, If Brian Tamaki is certain the Homos will burn in Hell - maybe this is a hint from the man upstairs that Brian has been looking a little too lovingly at the Alter boy....

Swoop

23rd April 2018, 22:41

Shame the cult-leader didn't catch his hair product on fire as well.

The cunt.

HenryDorsetCase

23rd April 2018, 22:44

the only thing that will fix it is being rubbed with $100 notes by his poor brown congregation. That and the wifely juices of the delightful Hannah.

jasonu

24th April 2018, 02:36

Prolly burning his tax information

iYRe

24th April 2018, 14:19

If God was involved, it would have occurred in Hells Pizza.

AllanB

24th April 2018, 21:30

Hmmmm reading a quote from him last night I smell a rat. He was wanking on about how it felt like his face has had a chemical peel ...

Reckon the guy has had a face lift and work done and come up will a BS excuse. The 'fire' was at the end of last month apparently ....

HenryDorsetCase

24th April 2018, 21:54

Berries

24th April 2018, 23:44

Hmmmm reading a quote from him last night I smell a rat. He was wanking on about how it felt like his face has had a chemical peel ....
Is that Genesis or Corinthians?

AllanB

25th April 2018, 10:38

Is that Genesis or Corinthians?

Even worse - STUFF!

Moi

25th April 2018, 11:52

Is that Genesis or Corinthians?

Is Corinthians the power company in the Oamaru area?

Crasherfromwayback

25th April 2018, 12:29

I'd say there's no two way's about it. The cunt is a closet poo punchin panger from way back. I've had dealings with him and his brothers. They're all fucking fleas.

Laava

25th April 2018, 18:31

Brian "Homosexuals will burn in Hell" Tamaki...

Did wonder if he had tried to wash himself with holy water...

Banditbandit

30th April 2018, 16:55

Clearly he did not follow God's instructions for burnt offerings - and the alter to make them on ...

And you shall make the altar of acacia wood, five cubits long and five cubits wide; the altar shall be square, and its height shall be three cubits. And you shall make its horns on its four corners; its horns shall be of one piece with it, and you shall overlay it with bronze. And you shall make its pails for removing its ashes, and its shovels and its basins and its forks and its fire pans; you shall make all its utensils of bronze. And you shall make for it a grating of network of bronze; and on the net you shall make four bronze rings at its four corners. And you shall put it beneath, under the ledge of the altar, that the net may reach halfway up the altar. And you shall make poles for the altar, poles of acacia wood, and overlay them with bronze. And its poles shall be inserted into the rings, so that the poles shall be on the two sides of the altar when it is carried. You shall make it hollow with planks; as it was shown to you in the mountain, so they shall make it (Exodus. 27:1-8).

ellipsis

30th April 2018, 18:08

Clearly he did not follow God's instructions for burnt offerings - and the alter to make them on ...

...he made some other great instructions too...

...Go fast...Turn Left...Repeat...

[ God or was it Jay Springsteen. (doesn't matter) ]

sidecar bob

30th April 2018, 18:47

Clearly he did not follow God's instructions for burnt offerings - and the alter to make them on ...

Crickey, that's a bit more complex than chucking some shit on the barbie.
Was that god's instructions for making offerings to himself?

Grumph

30th April 2018, 19:43

Actually, if you followed the instructions it'd be a pretty flash barbie. Knock a George Forman grill out of the park...

I like the horns on the corners. Be a good project for the Bucket Foundry thread....

Akzle

30th April 2018, 19:51

Clearly he did not follow God's instructions for burnt offerings - and the alter to make them on ...

... then lobest thou thy holy hand grenade of antioch toward thy foe

Laava

30th April 2018, 22:21

MarkH

1st May 2018, 14:36

God clearly thinks he's a cunt.

God's not the only one . . .

F5 Dave

2nd May 2018, 20:44

Perhaps he was trying to get acclimatized.
:killingme
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Voltaire again.

cc rider

2nd May 2018, 20:50

Hi, I was looking for the bbq chicken thread. Am I in the right place? :confused:

eldog

2nd May 2018, 21:48

... then lobest thou thy holy hand grenade of antioch toward thy foe

Before then, thou shall count to 5,........
if one canst.

sidecar bob

3rd May 2018, 08:24

Pulp fiction quote.

Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

Akzle

3rd May 2018, 10:00

Before then, thou shall count to 5,........
if one canst.

uh, 3 sir. no more, no less. 3 shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. four shalt thou not count, noither count thou two, excepting that you then proceed to 3.

five is right out

TheDemonLord

3rd May 2018, 10:52

uh, 3 sir. no more, no less. 3 shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. four shalt thou not count, noither count thou two, excepting that you then proceed to 3.

five is right out

Once the number 3, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou Thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe.

Who, Being naughty in my sight, shall Snuff it.

Amen.

eldog

3rd May 2018, 20:42

Nah, the holy trinity number is PI
more than 3, not more than 4

PI a number I have never really got to the end of.:apint:

husaberg

3rd May 2018, 21:02

Hi, I was looking for the bbq chicken thread. Am I in the right place? :confused:

It was more about a bbq pig.

Akzle

4th May 2018, 06:15

Nah, the holy trinity number is PI
more than 3, not more than 4

PI a number I have never really got to the end of.:apint:

well now you're getting into some golden ratio shit, which can get quite esoteric, what with all the mandelbrot and fibbonachi shit, as they relate to spirals and nature and even animal behaviour

F5 Dave

4th May 2018, 16:03

I hope you are not going to say those goats deserved it. We've moved on from there as a society. Meehh means Meehh.

husaberg

4th May 2018, 16:14

I hope you are not going to say those goats deserved it. We've moved on from there as a society. Meehh means Meehh.
There is a reason they use Judas goats Dave.
They are sent in the lure out the the miscreants.

eldog

4th May 2018, 16:19

well now you're getting into some golden ratio shit, which can get quite esoteric, what with all the mandelbrot and fibbonachi shit, as they relate to spirals and nature and even animal behaviour

Goat pie golden ration

jasonu

4th May 2018, 17:01

Goat pie golden ration

Goat pie = coon food.

Akzle

4th May 2018, 17:12

Goat pie = coon food.

normally the injuns 'round ere what go for it.
i'm not opposed, quite tasty if cooked right. found an old khosa recipe done with yoghurt andspices, then smoked. (i think the recipe called for pan-fry or sashlik-kebab.
fokken beautiful maaaate.

F5 Dave

4th May 2018, 18:40

Most commonly eaten meat.

Makes the best curry. Thank you Indians.

Also must be the most healthy animal we eat.

ellipsis

5th May 2018, 10:52

Goat pie = coon food.

...I must be one of the whitest 'coons', around...liddle goats are very sweet and delicious, either curried or just roasted gently...I take great delight in shooting the big smelly ones, just to make their offspring orphans and mouth wateringly available...I only have to drive five minutes and walk a few meters to help rid my cocky mates hills of the things...not going to run out of them soon, despite the DOC wanks telling everyone that they are getting on top of them...maybe they are getting on top of them but forgetting to cut their throats when they have finished...

george formby

5th May 2018, 11:04

normally the injuns 'round ere what go for it.
i'm not opposed, quite tasty if cooked right. found an old khosa recipe done with yoghurt andspices, then smoked. (i think the recipe called for pan-fry or sashlik-kebab.
fokken beautiful maaaate.

Cheers. Tomorrows tea sorted.

Been ages since Kashmiri goat popped into my head. Take your leg, stab it vigorously and marinade in "yoghurt andspices" for 24 hours. Cook over wood for 6 hours. "fokken beautiful maaaate" indeed.

I just drooled on me lappie.

Akzle

5th May 2018, 18:11

Cheers. Tomorrows tea sorted.

Been ages since Kashmiri goat popped into my head. Take your leg, stab it vigorously and marinade in "yoghurt andspices" for 24 hours. Cook over wood for 6 hours. "fokken beautiful maaaate" indeed.

I just drooled on me lappie.

i'll pop over .