My life is about to turn upside down.

[Oakie]

Mrs Oakie and I are about to join the ranks of 'grandparents bringing up grandchildren'. Well, one grandchild actually. We have invited Miss Eleven to come and live with us until the end of high school.

Why would we do this to ourselves? Well we both thought she'd benefit from being the focus of our attention for the next six years rather than having her three other siblings from their 'blended family' to compete with for attention and resources back at home. So she arrives on Friday and while we are guardedly looking forward to the experience, she is ecstatic about the whole scenario.

Wouldn't have done it if she was a ratbag but she's a really good kid who loves school (like cries because she can't go to school when she's sick). She has huge potential which may not have been realised in her crowded house so we're giving up our quiet life and if the the result is she carries what she's done already through to adulthood, we'll be happy with that.

Oh, and she loves riding on the back of my motorbike!

We know there will be speedbumps along the way but hey, we've already bought up two girls who turned out pretty well so how hard could it be? :killingme

Wish us luck.

[OddDuck]

Wow, good on you both, and good luck!

[george formby]

Young un's keep you young. :niceone:

Spotted a bloke outside of work yesterday morning stood beside a Yamaha trailie.. Oy oy thinks I, dodgy looking biker..:shifty: I see hime again that afternoon so think of wandering over to say hi and peruse the iron. As the thought forms, the school bus pulls up, young un bounces out and heads for the bloke and the bike, puts on some gear and a lid, jumps on and off they go. Put a big smile on my dial, far classier than an SUV!

[frogfeaturesFZR]

Good on you !

She’ll keep both of you on your toes.

[WALRUS]

Good onya Oakie, that's a really sound thing you're doing!

[oldrider]

Mrs Oakie and I are about to join the ranks of 'grandparents bringing up grandchildren'. Well, one grandchild actually. We have invited Miss Eleven to come and live with us until the end of high school.

Why would we do this to ourselves? Well we both thought she'd benefit from being the focus of our attention for the next six years rather than having her three other siblings from their 'blended family' to compete with for attention and resources back at home. So she arrives on Friday and while we are guardedly looking forward to the experience, she is ecstatic about the whole scenario.

Wouldn't have done it if she was a ratbag but she's a really good kid who loves school (like cries because she can't go to school when she's sick). She has huge potential which may not have been realised in her crowded house so we're giving up our quiet life and if the the result is she carries what she's done already through to adulthood, we'll be happy with that.

Oh, and she loves riding on the back of my motorbike!

We know there will be speedbumps along the way but hey, we've already bought up two girls who turned out pretty well so how hard could it be? :killingme

Wish us luck.

Wish us luck? - I thought you must have fallen off your bike! :shit: - - Do try to keep up and whatever go to bed early. :sleep:

[Oakie]

Wish us luck? - I thought you must have fallen off your bike! :shit: - - Do try to keep up and whatever go to bed early. :sleep:

Thanks John. Gotta go to bed early anyway as I'm up at 5am to go and ride the DX bike. Wondering how long it'll be before Miss Eleven asks if she can have a go on it.

[AllanB]

Fine effort that man and she sounds keen.

Best thing is if it goes to custard you can send her back :sweatdrop

[pete376403]

We have done the same - granddaughter from a relationship that failed, when son remarried and they had their own kids, she was always made to feel an outsider, resented by new wife, etc.
Since coming to live with use she has really opened up, seems far happier, and we like having her around.
Good on you.

[Virago]

Hi Oakie, I don't often surf into KB these days, but this thread caught my attention.

What an awesome arrangement. It sounds like you will be great for each other.

Grandparents are generally more laid-back in nurturing and caring, they've been there done that. They usually have one commodity that parents often struggle with - that's TIME.

Best wishes for the future.

[jasonu]

My neighbor does that. They have 3 grandkids (3,5,10) with them because their crack whore daughter is incapable of doing anything a normal adult would.

[carbonhed]

Admirable. Good luck!

[Paul in NZ]

Well done. Yes your life will be turned upside down but then again its an opportunity to do a good thing which you obviously recognise. Plus you will hopefully build a special bond so always look on the upside..

[riffer]

Wow. Admirable. I'm still struggling with bringing up ours (21, 19, 18, 13), so a wee way off grandchildren yet. It's a good thing you do.

[oldrider]

Mrs O/rider and I were discussing your "plight"? - :rolleyes:

Getting a grandchild to stay! :love:

All we ever seemed to get passed along was their unwanted cats dogs budgies pet rats and even a horse or two! - Where did we go wrong? :scratch:

[Moi]

:niceone::2thumbsup

Well done!


PS, you really have grasped this mid-life crisis by the throat... new job, another bike, and now a new "family"... Much respect.

[Daffyd]

I think you've made a great choice. We have a 10 y/o grand daughter living with us and she's a ray of light. Having a young girl around seems to keep you young. Plus a 13 y/o stepdaughter also gives me something to live for. She just adores me as I do her.

I had a trip to Scotland last week for 10 days and she cried herself to sleep at night because she was missing me so much. She was even crying at school.

[Oakie]

Mrs O/rider and I were discussing your "plight"? - :rolleyes:

Getting a grandchild to stay! :love:

All we ever seemed to get passed along was their unwanted cats dogs budgies pet rats and even a horse or two! - Where did we go wrong? :scratch:

Hey John. All you have to do is what we did. Ask.

[Oakie]

I think you've made a great choice. We have a 10 y/o grand daughter living with us and she's a ray of light. Having a young girl around seems to keep you young. Plus a 13 y/o stepdaughter also gives me something to live for. She just adores me as I do her.

I had a trip to Scotland last week for 10 days and she cried herself to sleep at night because she was missing me so much. She was even crying at school.

Nice. Sounds like our girl. She's just a nice kid and a delight to have around. Also quite sporty so that'll be fun. We'll teach her lifeskills and she'll show me how to use my smart phone properly!

[Daffyd]

Nice. Sounds like our girl. She's just a nice kid and a delight to have around. Also quite sporty so that'll be fun. We'll teach her lifeskills and she'll show me how to use my smart phone properly!

Yes, that's an added bonus. She just came to me and asked me if she doesn't feel well tomorrow is it ok if she takes the day off. She hasn't had a day off in nearly three years at this school.

[Berries]

Can you take two more?

[Oakie]

Can you take two more?

Ask me in six years when this one is done.

[FJRider]

Ask me in six years when this one is done.

Well done young fella ... but your lives will really be turned upside down when they leave.

You can expect many highs ... and many lows. But I would say that you'll never regret doing it. Maybe ...even regard it as the best thing the two of you have ever done together.

We look forward to hearing the stories ... issues ... and good times you'll have.

[Oakie]

We look forward to hearing the stories ... issues ... and good times you'll have.

Thought about doing a blog about the experience but that sounds like a bit of a commitment. (like looking after her for 6 years isn't?!)

We'll see.

[FJRider]

Thought about doing a blog about the experience but that sounds like a bit of a commitment. (like looking after her for 6 years isn't?!)

We'll see.

You've made quite a commitment already ... and if somebody else can learn from it ... :niceone:

[Oakie]

You've made quite a commitment already ... and if somebody else can learn from it ... :niceone:

Stop making sense.

[oldrider]

Hey John. All you have to do is what we did. Ask.

OK - can I come and stay with you too? :eek:

[pritch]

. They have 3 grandkids (3,5,10) with them because their crack whore daughter is incapable of doing anything a normal adult would.

That's the more common reason. Not crack specifically, but the recreational chemical of choice whatever that may be.

[pete376403]

Are todays parents more selfish than the previous generation? We gave up a lot for our kids, because (at the time) that is what you did. This generation (inc some of my own) seem to put their own wants ahead of their kids needs.

[Oakie]

OK - can I come and stay with you too? :eek:

Arghhh, you made me laugh into my coffee!

[AllanB]

Are todays parents more selfish than the previous generation? We gave up a lot for our kids, because (at the time) that is what you did. This generation (inc some of my own) seem to put their own wants ahead of their kids needs.

This is interesting. I have neighbors across from me with two young ones. Both parents are career driven and appear to work 6 days a week. They employ a young nanny all week to look after the kids. Which makes me wonder why bother having them if you don't spend time with them. Other than the obvious being you can't give them back once popping them out ya girls bits.

[Oakie]

This is interesting. I have neighbors across from me with two young ones. Both parents are career driven and appear to work 6 days a week. They employ a young nanny all week to look after the kids. Which makes me wonder why bother having them if you don't spend time with them. Other than the obvious being you can't give them back once popping them out ya girls bits.

Dunno. Having kids ticks a box i suppose. Perhaps they both have to work to afford then kids. More expensive to run that my bike, that's for sure.

[Oakie]

Mrs Oakie and I had a planned 'meeting' with Miss Eleven this afternoon to work out the rules and behaviour standards for the house with her. Consultation! Told her we'll always discuss things with her and listen to what she has to say even though we may not make the decision she wants. We now have a three page (for want of a better term) 'Room mate Agreement' which covers everything from our behaviour to each other and onto homework, bed times and internet time amongst many other things. At the end I asked her if she had any behaviour expectations of us and she said "you and Nan need to maintain a positive attitude to each other and provide a happy environment in the house." That blew me away a bit!

[AllanB]

At the end I asked her if she had any behaviour expectations of us and she said "you and Nan need to maintain a positive attitude to each other and provide a happy environment in the house." That blew me away a bit!

We desperately need her at my work. When can she start?

[Oakie]

We desperately need her at my work. When can she start?

Ha ha. Six years.

[tigertim20]

Mrs Oakie and I had a planned 'meeting' with Miss Eleven this afternoon to work out the rules and behaviour standards for the house with her. Consultation! Told her we'll always discuss things with her and listen to what she has to say even though we may not make the decision she wants. We now have a three page (for want of a better term) 'Room mate Agreement' which covers everything from our behaviour to each other and onto homework, bed times and internet time amongst many other things. At the end I asked her if she had any behaviour expectations of us and she said "you and Nan need to maintain a positive attitude to each other and provide a happy environment in the house." That blew me away a bit!
fuckinhell.

you might learn more from her than she does from you!.

Sounds like its gunna be an interesting ride

[GazzaH]

Would love to hear her rules for KB ....

[Oakie]

fuckinhell.

you might learn more from her than she does from you!.

Yep. We're open to anything she can teach us about the scary modern world.


Would love to hear her rules for KB .... Oh Jeez. We'd all be on the naughty stair.

[avgas]

Well ain't this a bloody reunion of kb lurkers......

Great news Oakie - Grandparents make better parents imho because they have done this shit before and know the short cuts.
My second boy was born a few months back, my oldest is now 7 and all I can think is geez I gotta remember what works on the oldest so I can use it on the youngest when they get there......and I am living with the in-law so it should be easy for me :shutup:

[Daffyd]

I realise it could be personal in places, but it would be great if you could post the 'less personal' aspects of the agreement I'm sure it would be a great help to others. BTW, we have a new grandson in the house now, and I'm sure, knowing the mental attitude of the mother, 22 and single, that we will end up raising the wee boy.

[Oakie]

I realise it could be personal in places, but it would be great if you could post the 'less personal' aspects of the agreement I'm sure it would be a great help to others. BTW, we have a new grandson in the house now, and I'm sure, knowing the mental attitude of the mother, 22 and single, that we will end up raising the wee boy.

Well I guess I could if it could help you and others. With us having worked under it for two weeks, we're going to go over it again sometime in the weekend and fine tune a couple of bits. I'll post it up after that.

[jafagsx250]

With the blog it's a good idea to be cautious about keeping who you are fairly hard to gauge.

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk

[Oakie]

With the blog it's a good idea to be cautious about keeping who you are fairly hard to gauge.

Still pondering on that one. Made some mental notes though in case I go there. Oh, two weeks in and it has been great.

[jafagsx250]

Still pondering on that one. Made some mental notes though in case I go there. Oh, two weeks in and it has been great.I was just saying for her sake.

Good on you though. Always nice to hear it's going well.

Sent from my TA-1024 using Tapatalk

[riffer]

... my oldest is now 7 and all I can think is geez I gotta remember what works on the oldest so I can use it on the youngest when they get there...

Huh. Raised three of the buggers then the last one comes along and he's nothing like the others. Has "the autism" this one, and nothing that worked for the other three worked for this one. We struggled for a while, and he used to do my head in, and one day the occupational therapist at Hutt Hospital tells me the reason that he does my head in is because he's exactly like me. So yeah, as a result I found out a lot about me too, and things have never been better in that respect.

So yeah, don't except the same thing works on all of them. Which is a real hassle when you have four of the buggers...

[cold comfort]

Haven't looked at this site for ages as hardly ride these days. This caught my attention. We have care of my wife's 6 yr old step grand-daughter ( as Mum is back in Psych care). She is thriving when with us but regresses with mother. Never expected this but thrilled to provide a child with an opportunity for a stable environment. Very bright kid so huge potential.

[oldrider]

Haven't looked at this site for ages as hardly ride these days. This caught my attention. We have care of my wife's 6 yr old step grand-daughter ( as Mum is back in Psych care). She is thriving when with us but regresses with mother. Never expected this but thrilled to provide a child with an opportunity for a stable environment. Very bright kid so huge potential.

Many happy returns M. :jerry:

[Oakie]

I was just saying for her sake. Yeah, that makes good sense thanks.

[Oakie]

Haven't looked at this site for ages as hardly ride these days. This caught my attention. We have care of my wife's 6 yr old step grand-daughter ( as Mum is back in Psych care). She is thriving when with us but regresses with mother. Never expected this but thrilled to provide a child with an opportunity for a stable environment. Very bright kid so huge potential.

Yep. Sounds like we've got similar good kids to work with.

[cold comfort]

Yep. Sounds like we've got similar good kids to work with.

For sure Oakie. All the best.


Many happy returns M. :jerry:

Hi J. Hope you are well. I retire next month. Own grandson last year. Sold my 690 to buy my daughter a vehicle. Pipe and slippers next. You better run faster, I'm catching up..

[pete376403]

Sold my 690 to buy my daughter a vehicle.

Whoo. Thats taking things a little bit far. Don't you have a kidney you could sell?

[GazzaH]

I retire next month. Own grandson last year. Sold my 690 to buy my daughter a vehicle. Pipe and slippers next. You better run faster, I'm catching up..

Hope your daughter likes the pipe and slippers!

[scumdog]

Just found this thread, well done Oakies, the girl will go far with you two leading her.

Recently we had a 15 year old niece (Aged 15, acted like 10 but thought she was 19) stay with us ("Just for 4 to 6 weeks" we were told - which became most of a year) because nobody (parents) could keep her in line, we knocked her into line with tough-love stuff but as soon as she went back to her parent the wheels fell of again:rolleyes:

It sounds like your girl is direct opposite:2thumbsup