Top Reasons Why Santa Must Be A Woman

[Bikkie]

Top Reasons Why Santa
Must Be A Woman

Think about it...Christmas
is not only warm,fuzzy
and nurturing-but it
involes lots of planning
and organization-which
means a woman has to be
in charge of it! Here are
some other reasons why
Santa can't possibly be a
man:

7: Men can't pack a bag.

6: Men would rather be
dead than caught
wearing red vevet.

5: Men don't answer their
mail.

4: Men would refuse to
allow their belly to be
described as a "bowful
of jelly."

3: Men aren't interested in
stockings unless
somebody's wearing
them.

2: Having to do the "Ho
Ho Ho" thing would
seriously inhibit their
ability to pick
up women.

1: Being responsible for
Christmas would require
a commintment.

So thanks ladies for putting
the "Merry" in Christmas,
we guys actually do
appreciate it!!!!

[Bikkie]

7 signs the Santa at the mall is nuts

1: Every so often,snaps into a
Slim Jim and growls,"You've
been bad and now you're goin
down punk!"

2: Keeps going on about how
the New York Times should
publish his 35,000 word list of
who;s naughty and nice.

3: Despite massive
photographic evidence to the
contary,claims to have never
worn white gloves or shiny
black boots.

4: Right berfore souvenir photo
is snapped he whispers,"This
year,you aint gettin squat!"

5: When kids say,"My daddy
says you're not real Santa,"
he responds with,"He's not
really your daddy.

6: That snowy beard?
Nothin
but nose hair.

7: While it's admittdly a nifty
trick,blowing smoke rings out
of his tracheotomy hole is just
scaring the kiddies.

[Bikkie]

A cats rendition of 12 days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of
Christmas my human gave to
me:

Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter pounce treats,
Ten onaments hanging,
Nine wads of kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
and a hamste-e-er in a plastic
ball!!

[AllanB]

You'd get a lot more Dads to the mall if that had female Santas walking about ....

[Big Dog]

You'd get a lot more Dads to the mall if that had female Santas walking about ....Yes, indeed you wood.
https://i.etsystatic.com/8976138/r/il/5fc97c/1671749906/il_fullxfull.1671749906_4xtz.jpg

[Jase H]

Unfortunately, this is Santa these days.

[Big Dog]

http://36.media.tumblr.com/e932ed877e9c8e5c06b8709b87c123b6/tumblr_o3pnp4ojIi1t0j8ebo1_1280.jpg