The end of civilisation as we know it

[F5 Dave]

Well, 'proper' civilisation at any rate.

As I sit on the crapper, I am bemoaning that the last few rolls of Quilton bog roll will soon be finished and we'll have to go back to shity shit roll.

Why, oh why oh why did they have to close the factory?

Right, I'll have to go select a stick from outside as a better alternative :angry:

[Dadpole]

Did you not stock up? Oh what a foolish Grasshopper you are.

[TheDemonLord]

Well....

That's a bit Shit....

[pete376403]

Be thankful you're not having to use that greaseproof brown Jeyes cut sheet stuff that all the schools used to get issued with

[george formby]

Be thankful you're not having to use that greaseproof brown Jeyes cut sheet stuff that all the schools used to get issued with

Izal:oi-grr: That's what it was called in the UK. Every public toilet had it, perfect for smearing, useless at removing.

I'm gonna miss the Quilton triple ply, was like an angel licking my fundament.

Apparently high production costs wiped the profit so they flushed the NZ plant.











Sorry.

[pritch]

Izal:oi-grr: That's what it was called in the UK. Every public toilet had it, perfect for smearing, useless at removing.


Much loved by the Brit army apparently. They actually used soft toilet paper as an inducement for postings to Northern Ireland during the Troubles. Postings in the rest of Britain got the hard stuff.

[Oakie]

Right, I'll have to go select a stick from outside as a better alternative :angry:

I can recommend dock leaves.

I cannot recommend stinging nettles.

[HenryDorsetCase]

Get a poop knife.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/

You're welcome.

[F5 Dave]

Jesus. If I didn't turd for a day I'd be scared.

[pete376403]

Jesus. If I didn't turd for a day I'd be scared.

Speights Old Dark will take care of that

[F5 Dave]

So no danger there.

After a night on it I'll often do 3 by midday till I feel better. Used to be a 3am kebab in the mix somewhere. Not so common up these parts and wife unlikely to be awake that late to make me one.

[MD]

Be thankful you're not having to use that greaseproof brown Jeyes cut sheet stuff that all the schools used to get issued with

Well thanks for nothing Pete. 40 years of intensive counselling and medications to get over the childhood trauma of that bloody horrible loo paper and it's all coming back like a bad smell. What idiot thought greaseproof non-absorbent loo paper would work?

[Laava]

Well thanks for nothing Pete. 40 years of intensive counselling and medications to get over the childhood trauma of that bloody horrible loo paper and it's all coming back like a bad smell. What idiot thought greaseproof non-absorbent loo paper would work?
The same people that brought you this...

[MD]

The same people that brought you this...

Aaargh!!!%$#@. Claytons gave me the shits that sent me to the loo and that f%$# useless Jeyes loo paper.

[F5 Dave]

My decision making process in that state is. Hmm, I haven't had a vodka in a while. Why haven't I had vodka in so long? You know? I think I'll have a vodka or two. .

[jellywrestler]

Be thankful you're not having to use that greaseproof brown Jeyes cut sheet stuff that all the schools used to get issued with

John Wayne toilet paper, it don't take no shit from indians

[jellywrestler]

Speights Old Dark will take care of that

Bulimia in a bottle

[ellipsis]

...a leaf out of the parlez vous frog people's book...you only need a hole in the ground or floor, blokes and sheilas use the same hole and a bidet works fine...a hose would suffice though...

...and think of the time saved at the supermarket, lined up behind the wankers with two boxes of coca cola, forty bags of bluebird chips and two huge trees worth of shit-house paper...

[R650R]

Apparently high production costs wiped the profit so they flushed the NZ plant.

Sorry.

And you’ll see more of that as the international shipping cartels keep their prices jacked up in the “new normal”.

Anyone dealing in a low value commodity is in danger zone with the big rise in international shipping costs. It’s crazy that pulp was imported when we have several major pulp mills in NZ that export the stuff....
While trying to find accurate data it seems Quilton is quite woke, lots mention on website about sustainable , ethical blah blah.... go woke go broke.....

A 2010 article has another major player counting numbers too....

Won’t be long before the Greens ban it and we all have to use bidet instead

The whole worlds turned to .... ��

[Swoop]

Get youselves a bum gun.
No more bogroll needed.

[F5 Dave]

Well when I was down south on tour, a motel had good bog roll. Turns out it was Paseo. I'm early in the testing phase but it appears to be the next best thing.

[george formby]

Get youselves a bum gun.
No more bogroll needed.

It's on my Christmas list...


https://youtu.be/ekm9q2dvk6k

[Swoop]

It's on my Christmas list...
The Japanese love affair with toilets & gadgetry is a huge rabbit hole to go down...:yes:

[F5 Dave]

Well looky looky. There is stock somewhere. My local P&S yielded me this on Saturday.


Hmm, picture to go here when it behaves.

[F5 Dave]

Look, I'm pretty much at the end of testing phase and here is my result.

Paeso is the equal of Quilton. I think it is more expensive but I shielded that from my comparison to not cloud my judgement. But in score of , well let's not get too gross but it stays together and isn't like sandpaper and you can wet it. Impressed.

[george formby]

Look, I'm pretty much at the end of testing phase and here is my result.

Paeso is the equal of Quilton. I think it is more expensive but I shielded that from my comparison to not cloud my judgement. But in score of , well let's not get too gross but it stays together and isn't like sandpaper and you can wet it. Impressed.

You can wet it?

More fiber in the diet, perhaps.

Or you could be using kitchen roll. Were you wearing your reading glasses when you checked the label?

[F5 Dave]

About 3rd wipe, helps clean. Helps if your sink is next to bog. Clean hand turns on tap.

[Berries]

You filthy bastard.

Are you part French by any chance?

[pritch]

Are you part French by any chance?

Ah memories...

A long time ago in a galaxy far away I spent a week or so in a French fort in Paris. First kiwi in the morning would flush all the urinals and open the windows. The smell made your eyes water. First Frenchman in would shut the windows. To be fair it was bloody cold.

The shit houses were of the hole in the floor variety and we learned that you needed to be fully prepared to depart before you flushed. The contents would overflow on to the tiled floor necessitating a rapid exit as they chased you out of the stall.

Makes you appreciate modern plumbing.