Fuckin funny shit, unless you're the victim!

[The_Dover]

Check out this story from the Herald!
Funny Shit (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10352071)

[Sniper]

Lol, farken hell.

[limbimtimwim]

Check out this story from the Herald!
Funny Shit (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&ObjectID=10352071)I've been a little scared of that sort of thing happening in a camping ground.

[bugjuice]

I ain't the victim, and it ain't really makin me larf.. cringe a little.. ouch..

[jrandom]

obvious lesson number one: don't pass out in the open after dark on a holiday weekend at the Kai Iwi campground.

that dude was obviously a first-time camper at the place.

[The_Dover]

I ain't the victim, and it ain't really makin me larf.. cringe a little.. ouch..

Maybe you had more therapy than me? I'm still a little sick :sick: ...only a little though. :shake:

[WRT]

Yeah, I'm inclinded to agree with buggy . . .

[The_Dover]

You poor sensitive soft cocks! I was pissing myself at my desk at the stupidity of both parties, fuck.

And here's me thinking you needed a sense of humour to ride a Kawasaki......

[Cibby]

You poor sensitive soft cocks! I was pissing myself at my desk at the stupidity of both parties, fuck.




yes but your an insensitive bastard....

that is very much cringe material.....

[The_Dover]

yes but your an insensitive bastard....

that is very much cringe material.....

Now you know that's not true. I'm very sensitive. In the right places :whistle:

[jrandom]

your a... bastard

oh I dunno, but then you'd need to find his mum if you wanted the answer to *that* question, wouldn't you.

[bugjuice]

You poor sensitive soft cocks! I was pissing myself at my desk at the stupidity of both parties, fuck.

And here's me thinking you needed a sense of humour to ride a Kawasaki......
lol.. k, that made me laugh..

So can I burn your face on my pipe, and we can laugh at that? JSG has a funny story to tell us about something like that last weekend..

[The_Dover]

lol.. k, that made me laugh..

So can I burn your face on my pipe, and we can laugh at that? JSG has a funny story to tell us about something like that last weekend..

You can try, but chances are I wont be sleeping anywhere that you are likely to wanna repark your bike when you're pissed!

I was not suggesting that the poor fuckers injuries were hilarious, merely the ridiculous circumstances in which they occured. Being parked on by a pissed guy in a camp ground???? Come on??

[WRT]

A guy in a ski-mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. "Open the
f*cking safe!", he yells at the girl behind the counter.

"But we're not a real bank" she replies, "We don't have any money. This is
a sperm bank". "Don't argue, open the f*cking safe or I'll blow your head off". She obliges and once she's opened the safe door, the guy says " Take
out one of the bottles and drink it". "But its full of sperm!" she replies
nervously. " Don't argue. Just drink it!" he says. She pulls the cap off
and gulps it down. "Take another bottle and drink it too", he demands. She
takes out another one and drinks it as well. Suddenly the guy pulls off the
ski-mask and to the girls amazement it's her boyfriend.

"Not that f*cking difficult is it?"

[Colapop]

oh I dunno, but then you'd need to find his mum if you wanted the answer to *that* question, wouldn't you.

Not the mum comment - he's sensitive there too.... :whistle:

Campground Stories;
Kinda makes ya think about all the times you were pissed and can't remember what happened....

[bugjuice]

You can try, but chances are I wont be sleeping anywhere that you are likely to wanna repark your bike when you're pissed!

I was not suggesting that the poor fuckers injuries were hilarious, merely the ridiculous circumstances in which they occured. Being parked on by a pissed guy in a camp ground???? Come on??
well, yeah, that is kinda funny.. ish.. kinda

[The_Dover]

You've just gotta think a little deeper than man burns face for gods sake!

Where exactly was he sleeping? How could he not wake up? How pissed was he? Were they mates? Are they still mates? oh the dimensions........

Next cunt to mention my mum and meet me in the flesh will lose teeth by the way.

[Storm]

WRT -:):):):D:D:D Thats the funniest thing I've heard in weeks- thanks for that

[jrandom]

Next cunt to mention my mum and meet me in the flesh will lose teeth by the way.

you lost her in a tragic pissed-and-passed-out-in-a-campground incident, eh? all this stuff getting on your nerves a bit? and that's the reason why you use humour as a defense mechanism to protect your emotional stability?

fark, mate, solid-gold psychoanalysis this is, I should charge for it.

[The_Dover]

you lost her in a tragic pissed-and-passed-out-in-a-campground incident, eh? all this stuff getting on your nerves a bit? and that's the reason why you use humour as a defense mechanism to protect your emotional stability?

fark, mate, solid-gold psychoanalysis this is, I should charge for it.

Yeah, you're pretty good. :niceone:

If only!

[jrandom]

Yeah, you're pretty good. :niceone:

I swing a mean stiletto heelstomp, too.

so I done mentioned your mum already, when do we meet for the teeth-knocking?

[The_Dover]

I swing a mean stiletto heelstomp, too.

so I done mentioned your mum already, when do we meet for the teeth-knocking?

Name a time and place.

[jrandom]

Name a time and place.

Galbraiths, this Friday, 6pm. Sarge is welcome to come along and clean you up in the men's room afterwards, if he likes.

[The_Dover]

See you there.

[jrandom]

See you there.

I'll look out for someone drinking warm beer and wearing a brightly-coloured one-piece with shiny knee sliders, then.

[The_Dover]

Yeah, that'll be me. And you? What am I looking out for?

[jrandom]

And you? What am I looking out for?

I'll the hottest chick in the place, of course. duh. I might be sitting with some other folks, depending on what's up that evening, so just walk up to me and say 'Hi, Fishy'.

[The_Dover]

Going on what we know about each other I think you'll find it easier to walk up to me.

[N4CR]

I'll the hottest chick in the place, of course. duh. I might be sitting with some other folks, depending on what's up that evening, so just walk up to me and say 'Hi, Fishy'.

Don't you mean the ugliest guy in the place AKA MR SKID?

WHOOPS MABEY NOT EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS ABOUT YOUR SLIPUP BEFORE.

Pretty obvious with the usual caustic skid-type remarks all the time, and then the only person to have met you being yourself aka skiddles.

[SuperDave]

Was the victim lying in black rubbish bags or something? How would the driver not have seen him, I mean a person is pretty big and I would assume that driving over a person has a characteristic feeling. Oh well, both are pretty stupid.

[jrandom]

oooh, oooh, I reckon I done caught Teh Feeshy out, etc, etc, heaven forbid I stop to think that even *that* 'slipup' could have been a pisstake...

sigh (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=389953&postcount=492)

you really need to keep up at the back there, old chap.

[Biff]

Imagine he wasn't face up, but face down, and his head was the other way around, down where his arse was, with the exhaust pipe resting on/in his arse, instead of his face. He may have been explomoded.

[SARGE]

Galbraiths, this Friday, 6pm. Sarge is welcome to come along and clean you up in the men's room afterwards, if he likes.



i dont like being in the men's room with Dover... he looks at me funny and it kinda creeps me out a bit..

[N4CR]

sigh (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=389953&postcount=492)

you really need to keep up at the back there, old chap.


BULLSHIT YOU ARE JUST PAYING PEOPLE OFF TO KEEP WITH THE JOKE. YOUR MANNERISM IS THE SAME AS SKID ANYWAY.

I DON'T LIKE YOU ON THE FORUMS BUT I HOPE YOU ARE NICER IN PERSON IF YOU ARE INDEED NOT MR SKID.

edit: And now you say it could be a pisstake. Great cover up...

I usually don't play the sceptic but in this case I have all right to do so.

[Patrick]

Poor bugger...didn't he have a tent??? :doh:

[SARGE]

Galbraiths, this Friday, 6pm. Sarge is welcome to come along and clean you up in the men's room afterwards, if he likes.


i got $20 on the Fish ( only cuz he's probably some 2 metre silverback gorilla in real life..)

[The_Dover]

You haven't even got $20 fat boy!

[SARGE]

You haven't even got $20 fat boy!


i will after Fish kicks your ass

[The_Dover]

i will after Fish kicks your ass

I tell you what Tubby, I'll give Fish 20 bucks for a good gum job after I've taught the bitch some manners and she can donate it to your Jenny Craig fund out of the kindness of her frozen heart?

How does that sound?

[SARGE]

I tell you what Tubby, I'll give Fish 20 bucks for a good gum job after I've taught the bitch some manners and she can donate it to your Jenny Craig fund out of the kindness of her frozen heart?

How does that sound?


im down to 101.6..


remind me what you weigh again?


Kharma baby... kharma


just so ya know ..Fish sent me a picture....

[The_Dover]

im down to 101.6..


remind me what you weigh again?


Kharma baby... kharma


just so ya know ..Fish sent me a picture....

Whadya do? Take a shit?

Me, I'm about 96kg at the moment but I've got a good three inches on you and it's all in the right place mate.

Plus, I can play 80 minutes with the bro's without having a heart attack. An energatic wank would probably kill you.

Lucky you don't get laid really eh?

[Bartman10]

A similar thing happend to me once.

I was sleeping away in a tent at a camping ground and a drunk bastard ran over my mate and I, in a HQ holden.

His wheel was on half on my chest and he sat there and reved his car while the tent filed with exhaust fumes.

I couldn't get out because the wheel was on my chest and sleeping bag. I yelled and hollered and eventually he moved forward. If he'd come back another 10 cm I would have been a statistic. I ran out to ask him what the fuck was going but he was a big gansta guy and was looking pretty threating and he was pissed, so I backed down. When he drove off he crashed into a picnic table and then into a house bus.

I was only about 16 and didn't have the sense to call the cops, which I should have done of course. The camp owner ended up paying for a new tent after a fair bit of harrassment. Every time I sleep in a tent now I still think about it. It was scary shit.

[Sniper]

Fucken hell. Seems like most threads are great for warring between Fish, Dover and Sarge....

[The_Dover]

Yeah, sorry guys. Maybe we should have a thread called "The Dover, Fish and Fat Man show..."

It's probably a bit tedious for some but it just goes to show that we clearly have too much time on our hands and should be fuckin working!!

[texmo]

Arent you up for evaluation soon dover?

[The_Dover]

I've got something you can evaluate Tex!

[texmo]

Yer, whats that???

[*sic]

not funny. seriously, burns = not the win

[texmo]

Sic wtf are you on about?

[**R1**]

sigh (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=389953&postcount=492)

you really need to keep up at the back there, old chap.hhhmmmmmm
duz sound fimiliar, old chap:whistle: