texmo
27th October 2005, 10:15
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he
should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
Q. Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she
into the back seat.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to
blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A. Divorcee'
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says
"Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.
Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM,
SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering
wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!
Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A. 144 blondes.
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that
90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.
should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
Q. Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she
into the back seat.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to
blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A. Divorcee'
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says
"Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.
Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM,
SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering
wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A. Because she blows the horn!
Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A. 144 blondes.
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that
90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.