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The_Dover
28th October 2005, 14:30
What's the best thing for removing semen stains from leather? I had such a good time riding last night that I came in my leathers. I don't wear underwear under them, I just love the feeling, and now I have a sticky mess that I can't get out.

Any ideas folks? All you older bikers must have had a similar experience?

crashe
28th October 2005, 14:35
Sorry but that is just so gross to be posting that on this site...

Please try to remember that there are young kids (13 and 14 years old on this site.)

MOTOXXX
28th October 2005, 14:36
burn them and burn them now :done:

Phurrball
28th October 2005, 14:40
burn them and burn them now :done:

Eliminate your seed Dover...

SPORK
28th October 2005, 14:40
Sorry but that is just so gross to be posting that on this site...

Please try to remember that there are young kids (13 and 14 years old on this site.)
I'm 15.

Considering that we have the all important "omg puberty" lessons or whatever in FORM ONE, I'm sure that those wouldn't mind.

In fact, I'm sure they'd find it positivley (I can't spell!) hilarious, being 13-14 of course.

outlawtorn
28th October 2005, 14:41
What's the best thing for removing semen stains from leather? I had such a good time riding last night that I came in my leathers. I don't wear underwear under them, I just love the feeling, and now I have a sticky mess that I can't get out.

Any ideas folks? All you older bikers must have had a similar experience?
um, I think you're alone on this one....... :eek5:

Beemer
28th October 2005, 14:42
WAAAAAYYYYY too much information - have you thought about seeing a doctor who specialises in erectile disfunction as you obviously suffer from premature ejaculation. And what's with the not wearing undies? Were your leathers new when you got them? If not, did you ever consider the fact the previous owner may have gone commando too? Ugh!

jrandom
28th October 2005, 14:43
If not, did you ever consider the fact the previous owner may have gone commando too?

ah, but what if it was a girl?

Cibby
28th October 2005, 14:44
i head that tooth paste was good....

or... a drink at the pub.

however that might just lead to more stains..

Phurrball
28th October 2005, 14:45
ah, but what if it was a girl?

Fish! Stop that at once :nono:! Dover has enough of a problem already...

jrandom
28th October 2005, 14:46
or... a drink at the pub.

you're really into this 'drinking at the pub' concept, aren't you?

we'll have to do something about that...

**R1**
28th October 2005, 14:53
I heard Deep Heat was the best, I would use a whole tube of the stuff if i were u..

Cibby
28th October 2005, 14:56
you're really into this 'drinking at the pub' concept, aren't you?

we'll have to do something about that...

i'm working a theme here fish...


On that note.. to the pub!

jrandom
28th October 2005, 14:58
On that note.. to the pub!

what, you're leaving already?

head starts are cheating!

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 14:58
Can you people please stop hijacking my thread? Go talk about the pub some place else, like in the pub.

Sheeesh, I don't know some people are just plain rude.

M1CRO
28th October 2005, 14:58
Are you absolutely sure its semen?.. :wait:
You might have pissed yourself (or worse)... I recommend you see a doctor and dont hop on the back of anyones machine EVER!
:chase:

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:02
Can you people please stop hijacking my thread? Go talk about the pub some place else, like in the pub.

Sheeesh, I don't know some people are just plain rude.

you sound like you need a beer.. shall we go to the pub?

jrandom
28th October 2005, 15:03
you sound like you need a beer.. shall we go to the pub?

oooh, beer.

can I come?

(not in the Dover-in-leathers sense, of course)

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:04
Come on guys, this isn't fair. I'm gonna throw my toys soon, I might even stop using the internet all together and move to a cave in the Tora Bora. I hear they have a few vacancies these days.

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:05
what, you're leaving already?

head starts are cheating!

i wouldnt dream of it.. leaving work at 5 ish.. traffic.. there by 5:30.... all good.

jrandom
28th October 2005, 15:06
leaving work at 5 ish.. traffic..

traffic?

what is this 'traffic'?

have you not yet become one with the Tao of Filtering?

Beemer
28th October 2005, 15:08
Sheeesh, I don't know some people are just plain rude.

And how rude is coming in your own pants? Huh?

jrandom
28th October 2005, 15:08
And how rude is coming in your own pants? Huh?

well, it beats coming in someone else's, particularly uninvited.

Korea
28th October 2005, 15:08
burn them and burn them now :done:
..whilst still in them! :p

judgeshock
28th October 2005, 15:12
I guess you would have a good root that night? cumming once first :apumpin:

The stain will only start to smell after a good hot day in the saddle, just dont expect a bj from the missus at the end of your ride.

:lol: :banana: :woohoo:

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:30
traffic?

what is this 'traffic'?

have you not yet become one with the Tao of Filtering?


yeah.. up until a week ago i was not confident. however thanks to dover. that has changed and i can break wing mirrors with the best of them.

I was talking about the red traffic lights.. :whistle:

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:32
See, I'm not all bad. I teach bikers how to piss of cagers and fuck their cars.

ManDownUnder
28th October 2005, 15:41
What's the best thing for removing semen stains from leather? I had such a good time riding last night that I came in my leathers. I don't wear underwear under them, I just love the feeling, and now I have a sticky mess that I can't get out.

Any ideas folks? All you older bikers must have had a similar experience?

A good question Dover - and one I've had a few issues with myself.

Just the other night I was heading home from the Kaukop pub (following a lovely taillight waving seductively about in the wind) and I felt myself go all funny at the knees - next thing I know I was ... very nearly in that same situation you describe.

If you take it blow by blow (figuratively cibby - calm down now)... you can get through your ordeal and make a clean breast of it (unlike the infamous Mr Clinton debacle).

First - keep it wet. If it dries you have a salty patch that's a bugger to shift with anything short of dry cleaning. Keep it wet, hose it out, but give it time to thin out. You'll find it all congeals up to start with - don;t touch it at that point - it's just going to smear.

When it's nice and fluid - try to keep it in a "pool" in your leathers if you can - remove it with something like a sponge, rag or empty syrnge (for you druggies and diabetics out there in KB land).

With the little bit thats left, find a handy canine to lick it clean. You can do it yourself of course but you'd need previous snowballing experience to have the required knack and tastse (I have heard it is an acquired thing)

After that wash wash WASH the garment and hang out to dry.

Coat the crotch area with waterproofing so next time you have less "soakage" and you'll be fine.

Or do what I do and wear absorbant daks. They're cheap enough and come in really handy for those corners you don't think you'll survive (and promptly shit yourself).

Hope this helps
MDU

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:42
Fuck me. A true expert, a gentleman and a legend. :niceone:

ManDownUnder
28th October 2005, 15:43
And how rude is coming in your own pants? Huh?

Don't think of it as rude - more of a rite of passage...

Like the first time you kiss someone, or shit yourself after finding the fuse on your "home made device" was too short.

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:45
If you take it blow by blow (figuratively cibby - calm down now)... you can get through your ordeal and make a clean breast of it (unlike the infamous Mr Clinton debacle).


MDU

hahaha.. there is only so much time aye MDU...

Besides.. why are you involved me in this?? :devil2:

Phurrball
28th October 2005, 15:46
See, I'm not all bad. I teach bikers how to piss of cagers and fuck their cars.

You *will* be wearing clothing that is in a sanitary state to the pub, will you not Dover??

I value my current state of realtively good health and hygiene...:devil2:

jrandom
28th October 2005, 15:46
You *will* be wearing clothing that is in a sanitary state to the pub, will you not Dover??

I value my current state of realtively good health and hygiene...:devil2:

what, you're coming too?

w00t! more the merrier.

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:48
Shit, I might come in the nude cos I haven't done any washing this week. I've got to break the crust to get some of it in the machine.

ManDownUnder
28th October 2005, 15:48
Besides.. why are you involved me in this?? :devil2:

I heard a brother cry for help - it's a guy thing. Women can get off as often as they want (through a variety of means - just stay on the road during the crosseyed phase..)... and there may be some dampness to deal with, but it's generally not a full scale evacuation of a fluid store...

:whistle:

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:49
See, I'm not all bad. I teach bikers how to piss of cagers and fuck their cars.


thats true.. all i need now are my leathers with knee sliders to run along their car doors aye dover??

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:49
oooh, beer.

can I come?

(not in the Dover-in-leathers sense, of course)


you can do either if you choose.. it is a free world..

However... at the pub i believe only one would be appropriete..

ManDownUnder
28th October 2005, 15:49
Shit, I might come in the nude cos I haven't done any washing this week. I've got to break the crust to get some of it in the machine.

I've got a chisel and small hammer if you need to clear out the small crunchy bits... PM me for help...

Phurrball
28th October 2005, 15:50
what, you're coming too?

w00t! more the merrier.

Aye - but not in any clothing...(Don't you just love ambiguity?)

That, and *shakes in a febrile manner*

Must...erase...Jurisprudence...from mind...

(Better be off to check in with the boss at her work first...you'll recognise me from the thumb print...)

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:50
thats true.. all i need now are my leathers with knee sliders to run along their car doors aye dover??

True dat, I need to get some of those titanium fuckers so they can see the sparks in their wing mirrors before I break the bastards off! :headbang:

Cibby
28th October 2005, 15:50
I heard a brother cry for help - it's a guy thing. Women can get off as often as they want (through a variety of means - just stay on the road during the crosseyed phase..)... and there may be some dampness to deal with, but it's generally not a full scale evacuation of a fluid store...

:whistle:


yes.. you are correct... and whilst i potentially have a number of thing to say in response to this regarding an SP1, i shall refrain as this is a family show.

Carry on.

TO THE PUB!!! :bleh:

jrandom
28th October 2005, 15:52
TO THE PUB!!! :bleh:

yeah.

I'm leaving now.

beer, beer, beer, tiddly, beer, beer, beer...

NhuanH
28th October 2005, 15:53
yeah.

I'm leaving now.

beer, beer, beer, tiddly, beer, beer, beer...
waida minute pardner, I'm coming down too!

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:53
Are we charging an entrance fee for the "Heavy Weight Cunt of KB" title fight?

Set up the door Fish bitch, Daddy's coming soon.

NhuanH
28th October 2005, 15:55
Are we charging an entrance fee for the "Heavy Weight Cunt of KB" title fight?

Set up the door Fish bitch, Daddy's coming soon.
Joo is velly angwy man innit you? Are you a Millwall supporter?

The_Dover
28th October 2005, 15:55
Nah mate, Bradford City FC.

The Pride of West Yorkshire.

City 'til I die.

NhuanH
28th October 2005, 16:00
Nah mate, Bradford City FC.

The Pride of West Yorkshire.

City 'til I die.
Oh. OK then. Sorry. In many ways.

britneys underpants
28th October 2005, 17:58
What's the best thing for removing semen stains from leather? I had such a good time riding last night that I came in my leathers. I don't wear underwear under them, I just love the feeling, and now I have a sticky mess that I can't get out.

Any ideas folks? All you older bikers must have had a similar experience?

Wear them inside out for a fornight while riding during the 'rainy' season and let the elements take care of those stubbon little stains. Works a treat with wet suits as well.

Ivan
28th October 2005, 18:09
one quick sentence

Your sick mate sick thats foul its worse than bird flu man, Dont you care bout people giving you assholes about it I mean you say that sahit to millions of people man that is sick

MadDuck
28th October 2005, 19:34
I suggest you use whatever you have been using to clean your hand as it probably gets more on it than your leathers :tugger:

Ivan
28th October 2005, 19:37
I suggest you use whatever you have been using to clean your hand as it probably gets more on it than your leathers :tugger:

Yeah I agree with you there I need councilling just thinking of the thought of someguy getting off going for a ride

SPORK
28th October 2005, 20:15
one quick sentence

Your sick mate sick thats foul its worse than bird flu man, Dont you care bout people giving you assholes about it I mean you say that sahit to millions of people man that is sick
One quick note:

Pleeeeeeeeeease STFU! Argh, have people had their sense of humor taken out or soemthing!?

Ivan
28th October 2005, 20:38
Hey can you spell that properly alot of people dont understand all these words like a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z what does that mean spell the full word plz

SPORK
28th October 2005, 21:07
Hey can you spell that properly alot of people dont understand all these words like a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z what does that mean spell the full word plz
Please, give up the whole "I'm not on drugs" pretence. You have proven, once again, that it can not possibly be true.

thealmightytaco
28th October 2005, 22:55
Phallic swab suit. Hand it to the doc for testing, they can clean it in the lab at the same time.

Phurrball
31st October 2005, 13:17
Hey can you spell that properly alot of people dont understand all these words like a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z what does that mean spell the full word plz

People in glass houses...

The_Dover
31st October 2005, 13:21
People in glass houses...

Shouldn't masturbate with the curtains open?

Phurrball
31st October 2005, 13:23
Shouldn't masturbate with the curtains open?

...unless they're part of a strange, voyeristic social experiment.

I'm sure someone's looking for participants Dover...;)

Sniper
31st October 2005, 13:34
So Dover who got their arse kicked?

jrandom
31st October 2005, 13:35
So Dover who got their arse kicked?

nobody.

I was unexpectedly detained, and couldn't make it. real shame.

Mr Skid PM'd and told me that the evening went off pretty well, though.

The_Dover
31st October 2005, 13:38
Yeah, Fish got picked up for soliciting in a residential area and too close to a school.

Patrick
31st October 2005, 13:52
ah, but what if it was a girl?

With the clap and other nut crushing diseases...

The_Dover
31st October 2005, 13:53
With the clap and other nut crushing diseases...

Then I probably gave them to her in the first place..........

Patrick
31st October 2005, 13:55
I heard Deep Heat was the best, I would use a whole tube of the stuff if i were u..
:killingme :killingme :killingme :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

and if that doesn't work, add some Tiger Balm and Vics...apply liberally and wear immediately afterward...the more applied, the better the result...

The_Dover
31st October 2005, 14:00
:killingme :killingme :killingme :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

and if that doesn't work, add some Tiger Balm and Vics...apply liberally and wear immediately afterward...the more applied, the better the result...


Nah, I like a little pain and fear that if I overstimulate it in that way it'll start pumping like a severed artery.....

Patrick
31st October 2005, 14:05
Nah, I like a little pain and fear that if I overstimulate it in that way it'll start pumping like a severed artery.....

Sticks and stones may break your bones but whips and chains excite you???

The_Dover
31st October 2005, 14:06
Sticks and stones may break your bones but whips and chains excite you???

Something along those lines :whistle:

jrandom
31st October 2005, 14:12
I like a little pain...

bloody poms with their milky tea and repressed self-loathing.

Sniper
31st October 2005, 14:30
bloody poms with their milky tea and repressed self-loathing.

WHAT???


How else do you drink Tea?

Lou Girardin
31st October 2005, 14:37
nobody.

I was unexpectedly detained, and couldn't make it. real shame.

Mr Skid PM'd and told me that the evening went off pretty well, though.

Stage fright?

jrandom
31st October 2005, 14:41
Stage fright?

feminine medical issues.

ManDownUnder
31st October 2005, 14:54
feminine medical issues.

please - don't take me there...

SARGE
1st November 2005, 11:58
What's the best thing for removing semen stains from leather? I had such a good time riding last night that I came in my leathers. I don't wear underwear under them, I just love the feeling, and now I have a sticky mess that I can't get out.



we talking semen stains or SHIT stains? :devil2:

The_Dover
1st November 2005, 12:40
Blood stains, shit stains and semen stains now mate.........In fact I think I'll just burn them like some good chap suggested!

ManDownUnder
1st November 2005, 12:43
Blood stains, shit stains and semen stains now mate.........In fact I think I'll just burn them like some good chap suggested!

Your leathers sound like or Lewinski's daks...

SARGE
1st November 2005, 12:52
Blood stains, shit stains and semen stains now mate.........In fact I think I'll just burn them like some good chap suggested!


glad you're ok ya bastard

Lou Girardin
1st November 2005, 13:54
Blood stains, shit stains and semen stains now mate.........In fact I think I'll just burn them like some good chap suggested!

Are you sure some of that slippery stuff didn't run down your leg and onto the rear tyre causing your bin?
The insurance claim will be a classic.

inlinefour
1st November 2005, 18:52
A good question Dover - and one I've had a few issues with myself.

Just the other night I was heading home from the Kaukop pub (following a lovely taillight waving seductively about in the wind) and I felt myself go all funny at the knees - next thing I know I was ... very nearly in that same situation you describe.

If you take it blow by blow (figuratively cibby - calm down now)... you can get through your ordeal and make a clean breast of it (unlike the infamous Mr Clinton debacle).

First - keep it wet. If it dries you have a salty patch that's a bugger to shift with anything short of dry cleaning. Keep it wet, hose it out, but give it time to thin out. You'll find it all congeals up to start with - don;t touch it at that point - it's just going to smear.

When it's nice and fluid - try to keep it in a "pool" in your leathers if you can - remove it with something like a sponge, rag or empty syrnge (for you druggies and diabetics out there in KB land).

This whole thread has to be a piss take, rather funny one if you ask me. :niceone:
With the little bit thats left, find a handy canine to lick it clean. You can do it yourself of course but you'd need previous snowballing experience to have the required knack and tastse (I have heard it is an acquired thing)

After that wash wash WASH the garment and hang out to dry.

Coat the crotch area with waterproofing so next time you have less "soakage" and you'll be fine.

Or do what I do and wear absorbant daks. They're cheap enough and come in really handy for those corners you don't think you'll survive (and promptly shit yourself).

Hope this helps
MDU

Good laugh, cheers for the PT :niceone: