AND I HATE

[James Deuce]

Sitting at work watching backup tape drives refuse to read tapes properly so I can merge this tape into a database and do a restore for some person who isn't even going to get what they wanted because they don't know the file name or even the folder path for me to restore.

BAH!

[parsley]

Go read about The Bastard Operator from Hell (BOFH) for inspiration.

[James Deuce]

You're a genius parsley, fine idea that!

[Zed]

Sitting at work watching backup tape drives refuse to read tapes properly so I can merge this tape into a database and do a restore for some person who isn't even going to get what they wanted because they don't know the file name or even the folder path for me to restore.

BAH!Sounds very much like some of the boring monotonous work I have to do some days and some of the drongo's I work with too! (apologies to all loving sensitive drongos)

[Pathos]

haha, reminds me of a little story my dads work mate told me. A massey university guy left a considerable amount of his thesis for his doctorate just sitting in his users account then comes back from overseas after more than a decade my dads poor workmate has to go through stacks of backup tapes all to find this thesis, so much for doctors being intelligent.

[justsomeguy]

I hate being stuck at work till 7:45pm today sending a bloody e-mail to a couple of plants in different time zones......


Time to type the e-mail - 40 seconds, time to configure the software release notes and FTP the bastard - 3 hours.......:argh:

[Krayy]

I don't know why I'm posting here.

[Drunken Monkey]

Welcome to my world...

[ManDownUnder]

AAAAAAAA sys admin...

I was there - I saw the light and crossed to the dark side - technical sales...

Pays better and you get to delegate a lot more... seriously guys - if you have "done your time" in front of a console and are curious about it... I'd avise you to check it out.

MDU

edit = I don't think I stressed it enough... it pays HEAPS better - there I think that's it...

[Lias]

All hail the BOFH, and lets not forget the PFY.

[ManDownUnder]

All hail the BOFH, and lets not forget the PFY.

BOFH?
PFY?
WTF?

[DemonWolf]

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell
PFY = Pimply Faced Youth

classical read http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/ its a laugh and a half...

[inlinefour]

going to the dentist or to a hair dresser

[avgas]

I hate missing sleep.
For the last 4 months ive got on average 4 hours a night...... I got pretty use to the "all-nighters", but the all-week'rs are killing me.

[Cookie]

Had a call yesterday from a user yesterday who was very keen to stress they were on the "Management Team" at their location.

One of their problems - a USB memory device would not work in their "MiniTower".

Turned out the "MiniTower" was a Compaq thin client terminal.

...Well I thought it was funny anyway. :mellow:

[avgas]

Had a call yesterday from a user yesterday who was very keen to stress they were on the "Management Team" at their location.

One of their problems - a USB memory device would not work in their "MiniTower".

Turned out the "MiniTower" was a Compaq thin client terminal.

...Well I thought it was funny anyway. :mellow:
Good thing he wasnt trying to upload his IPOD of PORN

[Mooch]

Bloody Computer Operators .... Plague of the earth ......

[Biff]

I hate getting my foreskin caught in the zipper of my pants. It's not as bad as getting it caught in the zipper of someone elses pant though. Especially if they're wearing them at the time.

Ho hum. Bored, bored, bored.

Hey Mooch - Looks like it'll be the end of Nov that I make it to London. I'll let you know.

[Lias]

MDU:

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

[parsley]

I hate missing sleep.
For the last 4 months ive got on average 4 hours a night.
I don't mind that as long as there's sex involved. :devil2:

[jrandom]

didn't the BOFH stories originate at Waikato Uni, back in the 80s?

I've known some just like him.

sysadminning is a boring, awful, humdrum job that rots one's brain and turns one into an sad, sociopathic little weasel.

so glad I never had to do it for a living.

[Ixion]

Yep, they did . Guy I work with was at Uni there with the writer.

EDIT: And sysadminning does not turn one into a sad sociopathic little weasel. I was always a sad sociopathic weasel, and it hasn't made me any smaller. Alas.

[Ixion]

Had a call yesterday from a user yesterday who was very keen to stress they were on the "Management Team" at their location.

One of their problems - a USB memory device would not work in their "MiniTower".

Turned out the "MiniTower" was a Compaq thin client terminal.

...Well I thought it was funny anyway. :mellow:

Ah, so you're on the Management Team. Good thing you told me that. All calls from Management Team members have to be passed to a SENIOR administrator for action. Because of the security implications, you understand. I'll pass your call into the queue of a SENIOR administrator right away. Well, I can't really say how long, the senior adminstrators are quite busy, and of course it's not my place to tell them what to do. But I'm sure that they'll be right on to it, what with you being on the Management Team and all. No, I'm afraid I can't tell you who it will be, because there are several possibilities and we aren't allowed to release names.Because of the security implications, you understand

Right, that's got rid of that plonker - wonder where I put my Senior Adminstrator hat? Hm can't find it, I guess plonker will have to wait until I do. Might be a bit of a wait, but I'm sure that he'll put the time to good use, what with him being on the Management Team and all.

[pyrocam]

doo de doo. oh lookee a bulk diskette eraser.
what a 90's throwback.
I wonder if my backup tapes will fit in there..... oh look they do!


*ring ring*
hello pyrocam speaking
yes my computer is broken
ok what do you see?
nothing. its off
have you tried turning it on?
yeah
and what happened.
I TOLD YOU! NOTHING
Right ok, sounds like a problem with your defloppomattic crises drive. ill need to get you to test the power supply confibulator for vibrations. make sure the power is plugged into the wall and on...
oh there it is, it wasnt on at the wall!
yes thats because I flipped it off so you can do this test. we can do that kind of thing up here.
ohhhhh ok (tries to whisper to collegue in a technical voice 'im just testing my vibrator')
ok what I need you to do is, grab a paperclip. youve got a paperclip?
*fumbling noises* yeah ive got one.
Ok now look in the back of yuor computer, there should be a grill on the left side, if you look in the cracks there should be a big fat red wire soldered into a peice of plastic looking stuff
hmm ohh no,oh wait. oh yeas I got it.
ok use the paper clip to touch the metal part at the end of the cable and flick the power cable on with your other hand. if you dont feel the vibrations then you might need to touch the screws on the back of the case.
hmm ok ill jus....
*lights dim for a second*
Pyrocam types away'
User call logged, 15:25, resolution: PEBKAC



edit:


didn't the BOFH stories originate at Waikato Uni, back in the 80s?


yes as far as im aware

[Mooch]

I hate getting my foreskin caught in the zipper of my pants. It's not as bad as getting it caught in the zipper of someone elses pant though. Especially if they're wearing them at the time.

Ho hum. Bored, bored, bored.

Hey Mooch - Looks like it'll be the end of Nov that I make it to London. I'll let you know.

Sounds good , I'm poping back to NZ for a couple of weeks , but will be back in London around the 23.

[Badcat]

why not to be on a network?

oh, that's right, who needs to know shit or be responsible to others whan the techs are there to wipe your ass?

wankers.

[jrandom]

oh, that's right, who needs to know shit or be responsible to others whan the techs are there to wipe your ass?

personally I blame the software companies.

well, I dunno, not 'blame' really.

but where is the dishonour in not knowing how to operate a fiendishly complex piece of machinery like a computer, or even more so, networked computers?

some people have better things to do with their brainpower at work, like make sure your pay gets deposited into your bank account, or build the things that get sold to make the money that pays you to sit in your IT room with your little hands-free phone headset, feeling superior.

maybe in 50 years time we will have figured out how to make computers that are reliable and qualify as 'appliances'.

in the meantime, slagging 'users' for not knowing how they work is like beating up on a triathlete because he can't bowl a cricket ball.

and these people who bag themselves as 'dumb' because they're not familiar with computers? it makes me real sad. listen up, you guys: YOU'RE NOT MISSING MUCH.

[Badcat]

personally I blame the software companies.

well, I dunno, not 'blame' really.

but where is the dishonour in not knowing how to operate a fiendishly complex piece of machinery like a computer, or even more so, networked computers?

some people have better things to do with their brainpower at work, like make sure your pay gets deposited into your bank account, or build the things that get sold to make the money that pays you to sit in your IT room with your little hands-free phone headset, feeling superior.

maybe in 50 years time we will have figured out how to make computers that are reliable and qualify as 'appliances'.

in the meantime, slagging 'users' for not knowing how they work is like beating up on a triathlete because he can't bowl a cricket ball.

and these people who bag themselves as 'dumb' because they're not familiar with computers? it makes me real sad. listen up, you guys: YOU'RE NOT MISSING MUCH.

you very eloquently just illustrated my point.
perfect.
thanks.

Ken

[jrandom]

you very eloquently just illustrated my point.

sorry dude, I'm *whoosh*ing on that one, what did I illustrate?

[Badcat]

sorry dude, I'm *whoosh*ing on that one, what did I illustrate?

your attitude.
it's perfect.

of course you don't understand.

[parsley]

your attitude.
it's perfect.

of course you don't understand.
ROFL. Yeah Fishie, go do your nails or something and leave the computer stuff to clever people like Naughty Pussy here.

[Madmax]

the real BOFH simon did some work for Ihug
if he came in wearing his BOFH shirt someone
was not going to have a good day,
shit and to think i get payed to remove other peoples files :love:
but i still hate the old mainframes with some of there stupid
commands
(when we retired an old DRS6000 i wanted to push it on to the railway
tracks until someone pointed out it might derail a train)
:devil2:

[parsley]

but i still hate the old mainframes with some of there stupid
commands
Yeah - change my tape, mount my drive, sacrifice another virgin. When will their whiney voices stop! And how come I'm the only one I can hear them?

[WINJA]

THATS WHAT YOU GUYS GET FOR BEING "NEEERRRRRDDDSSSS"

[pyrocam]

Nerd, as a stereotypical or archetypal designation, refers to people of above-average intelligence whose interests (often in science and mathematics) are not shared by mainstream society.

However, beginning in the late 1990s, many nerds on the Internet reclaimed the word nerd as a badge of pride and began using it as a positive description of a technically-competent person. Although traditionally used to describe men and boys, the terms "nerd" and "geek" have been adopted by many women interested in technology, science, mathematics and other typically male-dominated intellectual fields as badges of their accomplishments in these areas.

The term "nerd", meaning "square" goes back at least to 1951, when Newsweek reported the usage as relatively new in Detroit. By the 1960s, it took on conotations of bookishness as well as social ineptitude. The word itself first appeared in Dr. Seuss's book If I Ran the Zoo, published in 1950, where it simply names one of Seuss's many comical imaginary animals. (The narrator Gerald McGrew claims that he would collect "a Nerkle, a Nerd, and a Seersucker too" for his imaginary zoo.) Another theory of the word's origin sees it as a version of Mortimer Snerd, the name of Edgar Bergen's ventriloquist dummy. Yet another theory traces the term to Northern Electric Research and Development, suggesting images of employees wearing pocket protectors with the acronym N.E.R.D. printed on them.

The stereotypical nerd image as seen in the mass media and cartoons equates to a young man wearing thick black eyeglasses (preferably broken and taped up with electrical tape), pocket protectors, high-water pants and dress shirts or clothes generally too formal for the circumstances. Sometimes the stereotype lacks personal hygiene skills, and he will typically appear either very skinny or extremely fat. Stereotypical nerds usually lack social graces and the ability to perform social interaction, except on technical topics.

In association with their image in certain Western societies as a so-called Model Minority, some East Asians get stereotyped as studious and untalkative nerds.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerd

[myvice]

Computers where ok up till they started putting them in cars and EVERY car maker wants to do it a different way, in every module, every year, and then hide the diagnostic port in dark inconvenient places!
We have just spent about $15k on a new diagnostic/code reader/scope/scanner for the workshop and it still can’t do all of the bloody things!
Back when I was an apprentice it took you 15 minutes to find the problem and 1-2 hours to fix it.
Now it takes you 1/2 an hour to locate the scanner port, another 1/2 an hour to find the correct make, module, year, chassis/engine configuration, transmission type, with or without ABS, SRS, Climate control or just AC, memory seating position and the radio is part of it too!
Then after you have gone through all this the machine wont talk to the car because the cars ECU is toast as the manufacture in there infinite wisdom installed it under the AC unit which blocked up the condensation drain and pored water over one of the most expensive components of the vehicle!
Or they thought that under the bonnet where it could have mud and crap thrown at it would be ok for a 4X4... Thanks Jeep, good thinking!
So you fit the new ECU and then go through it all again to find the Air flow Meter is also dead...
Or is it the air filter blocked?
Or is the plug faulty?
Or?
Maybe?
Could it even be?
Could this be an earth fault? Power feed? 12 or 5 volts?
Is the battery just a little low?
What about????????????????
:argh:

[Ixion]

Come back Joseph Lucas, all is forgiven.

[James Deuce]

Geek is a 19th century term originally used to describe Carnies who bit the heads off live chickens.

[Badcat]

(shudder)... carnies, small hands, smell of cabbage......