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DMNTD
16th November 2005, 21:34
FROM AN AUCKLAND WINZ OFFICE

A patch wearing Mongrel Mob member walks into a local Auckland
WINZ office,

stomps straight up to the counter and says,

"Hey bro, I hate living on the dole eh. I wanna find a job."

The fella behind the counter replied,..." Your timing is amazing.

We have just got a job from a very wealthy man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his sex mad daughter.

You will have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the
suits, shirts, and ties are provided.

Because there are long hours in this job, meals will be provided

escort the young lady on her overseas holidays.

The salary package is $200,000 a year."

The mobster picks his jaw up off the floor and says... "You're
bullshitting me bro!"

The man behind the counter looks at him and replies,...."
Well...you started it!":lol:

bugjuice
17th November 2005, 10:48
lol.. I was really hoping for a phone number at the end of that..

Swoop
17th November 2005, 11:08
Heh heh!
In the words of C. Montgomery Burns - "Excellent,:lol: - Smithers, release the hounds!"

sinfull
6th September 2008, 11:59
... A patch wearing Gang Member walks into a local Auckland WINZ office,

stomps straight up to the counter and says,
'Hey bro, I hate living on the dole eh. I wanna find a job.'

The fella behind the counter replied,'
Your timing is amazing.

We have just got a job from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur bodyguard for his sex mad daughter.

You will have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.

Because there are long hours in this job, meals will be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays.

The salary package is $200,000 a year.'


The mobster picks his jaw up off the floor and says 'You're bullshitting me bro!'

The man behind the counter looks at him and replies,

' Well... you started it!'

kevfromcoro
6th September 2008, 12:32
hahaha..good one......

skidMark
6th September 2008, 12:50
lol...........:lol:

portokiwi
6th September 2008, 13:32
That would be the best job:clap:

KiwiRat
6th September 2008, 19:53
Tu meke bro.

ynot slow
7th September 2008, 11:37
And you live where?Good one send it to WINZ HQ.

Spicer
1st June 2009, 19:16
A Mongrel Mob member walks into Albany WINZ office, stomps
straight up to the counter and says, "Hey bro, I hate living
on the dole eh. I wanna find a job."



The fella behind the counter replied," Your timing is
amazing. We have just got a job from a very wealthy man who
wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his sex mad daughter. You
will have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the
suits, shirts, and ties are provided.



Because there are long hours in this job, meals will be
provided and you will also be required to escort the young
lady on her overseas holidays.



The salary package is $200,000 a year."



The Mob member picks his jaw up off the floor and says
"You're bullshitting me bro!"



The man behind the counter looks at him and replies,"
Well... you started it!"

Spicer
1st June 2009, 19:21
VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t * ts in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women
who can handle the bullsh * t!

Cheshire Cat
1st June 2009, 23:48
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


Some of them already do buddy:msn-wink:

one fast tl1ooo
16th January 2010, 15:58
A Mongrel Mob member walks into Albany WINZ office, stomps straight up to the counter and says, "Hey bro, I hate living on the dole eh. I wanna find a job."

The fella behind the counter replied," Your timing is amazing. We have just got a job from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his sex mad daughter. You will have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.

Because there are long hours in this job, meals will be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays.

The salary package is $200,000 a year."

The Mob member picks his jaw up off the floor and says "You're bullshitting me bro!"

The man behind the counter looks at him and replies," Well... you started it!"

steve_t
16th January 2010, 16:47
Geez... how on to it are the mods?!!!!!!