anybody get any classic one liners?

[skidMark]

heres my contribution....

Ur tEEth mAkEs mE thInk Of thE stArs...... nOt cOs thEy spArklE bt cOs thEy'Er sO fAr ApArt :lol:

[Hitcher]

And they come out at night?

[skidMark]

And they come out at night?

ahahahah very nice lol

[Eurodave]

''Boys will be boys & girls will be mothers!"

[SPman]

[/URL]
"[URL="http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/499.html"] (http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/499.html)Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.!"

[Eurodave]

"Nothing succeeds like a budgie"

[Eurodave]

"If I said you had a beautifull body, would you hold it against me?''

[T.W.R]

i'd rather be scared to death than bored to death!

[scumdog]

Have you been sitting in a puddle or are you just pleased to see me??? (made that one up)


And

For the girls:Have you a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

"Come up and peel me a grape big boy"

[The_Dover]

Can I smell your cunt??

"no"

Ah, must be your feet then.

[T.W.R]

the T-shirts says it all

[Macktheknife]

Buy me another drink.... you're still ugly!

[Macktheknife]

If at first you dont succeed.... suck harder!
think about it....

[Uncle B]

Wanna cum back to my place for a pizza and a fuck?

What's the matter?

Don't you like pizzas?

[SARGE]

They made movies about my marriages.... Rocky I, Rocky II, Rocky III



I just saw the first real sign of spring -- a list on the refrigerator of all the yard work I have to do.



Would I Like To Have Sex With You?

I'd rather ...

* masturbate with a cheese grater.

* slide down a barbed wire banister into a bucket of alcohol.

* stick my genitals in a beehive.

* crush my foreskin between two tables whilst being
bitch-whipped by a fat, mustached greek named Spyros.

* have a porcupine inserted violently into my rectum.

* sandpaper a wildcat's ass.

* watch Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne mud wrestle naked.

* dryfuck a polar bear in a phone booth.

* cram my dick in the ass of a bear with inflamed
hemorrhoids.

* try to open a beer bottle with my sphincter...and not
a twist off, either.

* poke a Grizzly Bear in the ass with a short stick.

* stick a Hartz flea brush up my ass and jog a mile.

* fuck Pee Wee Herman in the daylight, without a bag to put
over his head.

[Yokai]

Do you sleep on your front?
No? - Can I?
Yes? Can I sleep under you?

You remind me of the sea...
What? Wild and romantic?
Nah - you make me sick!

[Al]

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on!

Al

[SARGE]

When I was a child... We had a quick-sand box in the backyard...... I was an only child........ eventually...



I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes...

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit ...

[Swoop]

"My morals are so low, I can walk under a snakes arese while wearing a top hat":blip:

[Highlander]

Manager? He couldn't manage to slap his arse with both hands. :shake:

Would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast!

[Dadpole]

Used on a stroppy CIB plod in Wellington

"Yeah right. You couldn't detect an elephant in a phone box"

[Wolf]

When I was young we were so poor...

... we thought "Marked Down" and "Half Price" were brand names.

... we thought "Closing Down Sale" was the world's largest chain of stores.

... our parents used to tell us to be naughty so we'd get the coal at Christmas.

I was confused as a kid - I grew up believing noses ran and feet smelled.

Big noses run in our family.

Were you born this stupid or did you have to take special training?

In answer to an unwanted sexual proposition:

I wouldn't fuck you for practise.

I wouldn't fuck you with someone else's pubes.

[The_Dover]

Or "I wouldn't fuck you with a stolen cock"

[MSTRS]

Ask the ugliest girl in the room..."Do you want to dance?"...of course she will stand up & say yes..."Good, you won't be wanting this chair then"...*takes chair & walks off

[The_Dover]

Or if there is a bushpig standing guard over her hot mate

"Do you want to dance?"
"Yes"
"Well fuck off so I can talk to your mate then."

[heavenly.talker]

If it was f**ked it would be lying on its back with its legs open!
Now fix the damm thing!

[Hitcher]

Ask the ugliest girl in the room..."Do you want to dance?"...of course she will stand up & say yes..."Good, you won't be wanting this chair then"...*takes chair & walks off
Now that's harsh...

[SPman]

"I'd rather feel like shit, than be full of shit!" - ST

[cowpoos]

MR Poos says [with god dam smooth lounge lizard voice]....hey...how you doin there sexy lady...[hopefully she doesn't say anything negitive]...tell me...is that a mirror in your pants...[she answers with no]...well thats funny coz I can see myself in them....:niceone: