Diet Santa

[idb]

*Sigh*
Went down to the Santa parade in Invercargill today.
Pretty good it was too.
I noticed there were no freebies being flung off the floats this year, I love battling the pre-schoolers for the lollies, I usually win too...........
Anyhoo, I was chatting to a cop I know and he told me that no-one was allowed to throw lollies any more cause of the risk of injury to the bystanders.
I feel like crying.
I despair of this society sometimes, I really do...................

[ducatilover]

mwahahahahahahaha what the cop didnt tell you is they send em all to meeeeee:killingme :bleh:

[scumdog]

It was the risk of paper-cuts from the lolly-wrappers you see... they could get infected and turn nasty, gangrene could form and the next thing? frzzzip, somebody has had their lips amputated to stop the gangrene spreading:killingme

Pity we couldn't get Parliament infected eh? Give 'em free MacIntosh lollies..

[inlinefour]

And some people wonder why I want to be politically incorrect??? Where does the B/S end people?

[Sniper]

What a stupid fucken country to say that a lolly scramble tradition is cancelled. There is always a risk of injury when we step outside our front doors, why ruin everything?

[sunhuntin]

soon we will have to fill in a consent form to breath, and while waiting for disapproval to do so, we will all die from lack of oxygen!:bye:

[Sniper]

soon we will have to fill in a consent form to breath, and while waiting for disapproval to do so, we will all die from lack of oxygen!:bye:

I nominate all the politicians to go first:eyepoke:

[Highlander]

Before you know it they'll ban Santa parades for fear of Men standing near unacompanied minors....

[Wolf]

Ban going outdoors, too - that's where you get sunburned and stalkers can follow you home and you might be knocked down crossing the road and ...

[myvice]

Wont someone think of the children????

[ducatilover]

Wont someone think of the children????
fuck the..... no i'm not saying that....:slap:

[Biff]

Oh no. I thought I'd seen the last of this kinda over protective shite when I moved here.

They cut down a load of chestnut trees 1/2 mile form my kids school back in the UK - just in case some of the school kids picked up some chestnuts and attempted to play 'conkers'.

Stoopid, stoopid world.

[dawnrazor]

Before you know it they'll ban Santa parades for fear of Men standing near unacompanied minors....
mightn't be a bad idea to ban the whitcholls 50 foot santa from queen strret. that fucker gives me the creeps every time i see him, and i can't help looking at that winking finger

[Colapop]

I remember when I was a kid they used to spray us with the fire hose from the back of teh firetruck AND throw lollies at us. My old man was a volunteer fireman and the y had about 10 or so huge bags for the parade. And it wasn't just the firemen, all floats had lollies.

[phoenixgtr]

I remember when I was a kid they used to spray us with the fire hose from the back of teh firetruck AND throw lollies at us. My old man was a volunteer fireman and the y had about 10 or so huge bags for the parade. And it wasn't just the firemen, all floats had lollies.

Those really were the days. We had that sort of treatment 2. It was awesome!!

[The Beast]

They stopped doing it coz some kid got run over when they ran out into the street to get the lollies.

[scumdog]

I remember when I was a kid they used to spray us with the fire hose from the back of teh firetruck AND throw lollies at us. My old man was a volunteer fireman and the y had about 10 or so huge bags for the parade. And it wasn't just the firemen, all floats had lollies.

Yeah, I remember the old guy at Quinneys Bush at Motupiko had an old army quad that had a big (about 6" X *8") beam bolted across the back of it, must have been about 18' long.
It had about 8 lengths of rope about 15' long attached to it and the other end of the ropes had hessian sacks with aluminium plates attached under them, you sat on these sacks and got towed along on the ground behind the quad.

He use to tow us kids all over the camp-ground behind that quad at what seemed a pretty fast speed, the best part was going through the ashes of old camp-fires, made a hell of a cloud of white ash!!

OSH? we don't need no stinkin' OSH"s!!
(Apology to all streotype film Mexicans on this site)

[Colapop]

Yeah, I remember the old guy at Quinneys Bush at Motupiko had an old army quad that had a big (about 6" X *8") beam bolted across the back of it, must have been about 18' long.
It had about 8 lengths of rope about 15' long attached to it and the other end of the ropes had hessian sacks with aluminium plates attached under them, you sat on these sacks and got towed along on the ground behind the quad.

He use to tow us kids all over the camp-ground behind that quad at what seemed a pretty fast speed, the best part was going through the ashes of old camp-fires, made a hell of a cloud of white ash!!

OSH? we don't need no stinkin' OSH"s!!
(Apology to all streotype film Mexicans on this site)

Doing 'shit' was a way of life when I was a kid - now they're not allowed to do anything but sit around getting fat. And then adults complain that our kids are getting fat. I see they're going around cutting down rope swings over swimming holes now too. Bastards! Some of my best scars come from doing shit like that!
Was a time, when we lived on the farm, I'd go out on my Kawa 90 first thing Saturday morning and not get back 'til Sunday night. Sleep in the Hay shed, have lunch with the shearing gang or build a fire and cook some eels. I learned so much.... I got the scars to prove it (and it didn't kill me)

[Wolf]

Riding on the back of the flat-bed truck dressed only in togs with a towel across the shoulders on public roads on route to the nearest swimming hole - surrounded by adults to ensure we didn't fall off - right past the local sharks and police who just ignored it because our dad was driving sensibly (I think if he'd two-wheeled the truck round a corner with us on the back they might have had a few words...)

Building our own rickety tree huts and home-made flying foxes (a simple wooden bar to cling to is all that's required - if you let go mid flight that's your own stupid fault) and putting up the aforementioned tyre swings or just a simple rope out over the river...

The biggest threat to safety around is OSH - they're trying to turn the entire population into a bunch of overweight soft mollycoddled poofters that will never be able to cope with a true emergency. When the Invading Hordes(tm) come, the general population will be as used to hardship, pain and good old fashioned physical exercise as a fish is used to mountain biking - they'll all be stuffed good and proper and OSH will be running around trying to fine the Invading Hordes for having "naughty" sharp bits on their spears...

[Yokai]

They cut down a load of chestnut trees 1/2 mile form my kids school back in the UK - just in case some of the school kids picked up some chestnuts and attempted to play 'conkers'.

hang on - didn't they cut them down because kids were throwing things up at the trees in order to get the conkers down... These trees were close to a road, IIRC, and the council was worried about things hitting the cars or something....

Or was that a different load of chestnuts?

[Mooch]

*Sigh*
Went down to the Santa parade in Invercargill today.
Pretty good it was too.
I noticed there were no freebies being flung off the floats this year, I love battling the pre-schoolers for the lollies, I usually win too...........
Anyhoo, I was chatting to a cop I know and he told me that no-one was allowed to throw lollies any more cause of the risk of injury to the bystanders.
I feel like crying.
I despair of this society sometimes, I really do...................

Maybe your business should sponsor sweeties next year then .... Time to give back to Santa. :banana:

[Lou Girardin]

It's just a lack of courage at work. If people simply told these safety nazis to make love elsewhere there'd be no problem.

[Wolf]

It's just a lack of courage at work. If people simply told these safety nazis to make love elsewhere there'd be no problem.
Regrettably, they have the backing of the govt and the ability to do nasty things to your employer - which is likely to "filter down the ranks".

[Beemer]

And of course it's ruined the fun for those on the floats who used to throw lollies too - half the fun was picking out the greediest fat kid and seeing how hard you could throw a boiled lolly at him! Wrapped of course, you had to think of the hygiene...

It's like kids birthday parties nowadays - they put wrapped lollies inside the balloons so if one bursts, there is a little treat to dry the kids' tears. And they all get goody bags to take home - shit, in my day you were lucky if you got a bit of cake and a party whistle!

No wonder kids today are always moaning about being bored, they're not allowed to do anything in case they hurt themselves! :violin:

[mstriumph]

.................. and don't even think about sitting on Santa's knee anymore ...:wait:

[Yokai]

.................. and don't even think about sitting on Santa's knee anymore ...:wait:

Ummm - I'll be your santa - if you'll just sign this waiver..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Korea]

(1)The lolly scramble at my primary school dropped them from on high by biffing them out of the helicopter! Being pelted with Mintys quickly taught the kids that hanging out under a hail of hard candies is a bloody stupid idea - Oh yes, truely we graduated from the school of hard knocks. Not really.

(2)Sitting in a trailer being towed by a 4-wheel motorbike around mate's farm - feels just like a rollercoaster if you close your eyes and lean out around the corners - until of course he cut it close at the gate and my head made contact with the fencepost at about 30kmph.
A little concussion, but 'twas all in good fun.

Anyway, the morale of the story is:
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards."

I recommend that all kids should go around getting paper cuts and minor burns - it's valuable education. :bleh:

[Lou Girardin]

Regrettably, they have the backing of the govt and the ability to do nasty things to your employer - which is likely to "filter down the ranks".

Seriously, what are they going to do if you got a sack full of sweets and started throwing them to kids?
Send in a squad of cops and drag you off the float?
Prosecute?
As Nike says, "just do it"

[Colapop]

I just don't understand what's wrong with the pc killfuntards in NZ at the moment. Festivals around the world are far more dangerous than a hokey little xmas parade with a few lollies being thrown. In Spain they do that human pyramid thing don't they - those kids are encouraged to climb up unstable packs of people called 'Castalera'. All around Asia they've got festivals where fireworks are let of pretty much anywhere they damn well please and we're being told to worry about a few lollies?
Sure they've had problems with kids chucking things at Santa in parades before and sure some kid might have got run over (but not killed) but come on what ever happened to the said kids a smack in the ear and being told to stop it? The naughty ones - not the run over one, that kids parents need a smack in the ear.
We'd be in a whole world of trouble if we didn't have playstation and tv wouldn't we? Think of the number of skinned knees and booboos there'd be - Oh the Calamity!!

[NC]

:killingme :killingme :killingme
Before you know it they'll ban Santa parades for fear of Men standing near unacompanied minors....

[speedpro]

Dad was in the local angling club. At their family Christmas doo at Oringi the lollies were dropped from a Fletcher top dressing plane. Woohoo - 60mph lollies. Great fun.

[idb]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.

[sunhuntin]

finally, like minded dangers to society!!!! :bash:

[avgas]

fuck em....now i want to go throw lollies at people

[ducatilover]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.
meh you can trip over those....:bash:

[Wolf]

Maybe they'll relent and let them throw marshmallows next year.
But, but....

marshmallows are so popular people will be trampled to death in the mad rush to get them and the survivors will choke frantically scoffing them down and those that don't will catch some dreadful disease from eating lolllies that've been on the ground and...

Please won't somebody protect us from all the dreadful hazards of being alive...

Next, breathing will be outlawed owing to all the inherent risks and while they're at it they can ban life itself because there's pretty convincing evidence that all cases of life will end in the death of those afflicted - so many billions of people who had life have died and the prognosis is not good for all those who still have life...

[Aitch]

Not the metnion the resource consent, traffic management plan, crowd control measures etc etc etc. Costs many thousand of dollars in unproductive beauraucratic bullshit to run a parade the same way that it's been run safely without the red tape for years and years....

Wiat till they make us call it the "Holidays Parade" (Cos Muslims might be offended if we call it Christmas)
(Not that Joe Muslim gives a hoot....but tree hugging white snivelling whimps think they should be!)

[Wolf]

Wiat till they make us call it the "Holidays Parade" (Cos Muslims might be offended if we call it Christmas)
(Not that Joe Muslim gives a hoot....but tree hugging white snivelling whimps think they should be!)
My cousin has Spastic Cerebral Palsy and gets really irate with all these able-bodied people running around the place making rules and getting fired up about what they think she should be upset about.

We have tons of fun with the PC wankers: cousin rolling down the footpath in her mobility scooter and I yell out "Ya fuckin' maniac get that fucking thing off the footpath" - we both note all the filthy looks I get from the PC brigade for being so unfeeling towards a poor wee defenseless cripple in her mobility chair. Then we exchange greetings and watch all the "Oh, she knows him and she's not upset" looks. We have seen people who looked as though they were going to have a piece of me before they realised we knew each other.

I just "love" the condecending bigotry of PC people - the belief they have that disabled people or moslems or whatever cannot defend themselves if they feel put upon, so rules have to be passed and PC Nazis have to leap into the fray to protect the poor, help(use)less, [minority] from all those nasty un-PC scumbags (like me). And let's even protect them from nasty terms like "lame", "deaf", "blind" "crippled" and "disabled" because we think they should be offended by these terms, let us instead mince words and come up with Politically Correct Terms like "Differently Able" to sheild the poor people from those nasty words.

I'm deaf in one ear. This means I cannot enjoy stereo - all sounds come from one side so if I'm wearing headphones I can only hear one channel and although I can hear both channels through normal speakers I cannot tell which speaker the sound is coming from. I also cannot determine where a sound is coming from unless I can see the source - as all sound enters through one ear, I do not get the differentiation that most people get that would tell me whether the source is to the left or right.

In that respect, I am disabled. I have a great ear for music (literally just the one), I enjoy music (for all I can't hear the separation of channels or tell (without looking) which side of the stage the drummer is on), and I can hear well enough that under most conditions I have no difficulty hearing a conversation (unless I have a loud noise or white noise in my "good" ear or the person is standing on my deaf side and talking too softly or indistinctly - in which case I partially lip read).

A note for any PC ARSEHOLES that might locate this thread whilst googling for un-PC scum to feel superior to:

I am NOT "Differently Able" you condescending little twats! I have no abilities outside of human possibility - I do not fly by waggling my ears, I do not walk through solid walls, turn invisible, bounce bullets off my chest or run fast enough to suck the air in the room into a vortex. Those would be "different" abilities. I have a disability - I live with it. Sometimes it's annoying or inconvenient (like not being able to listen to music privately through headphones or not knowing where "here" is (as in "I'm over here!"), but for the most part, I get by - probably better than many disabled people out there.

I do not need to be protected from the nasty "able-bodied people" out there, I do not need a condescending don't-let-the-poor-bugger-know-he's-missing-out-on-something term like "Differently Able" to protect me from useful descriptive words such as "deaf" which are near-universally known and understood and are handy for conveying useful information such as "Don't stand on that side of me and mumble, I'm deaf in that ear."

"I'm differently able in that ear" is likely to leave people wondering which inhuman power that ear possesses (frequency range of a dog, radio signal reception, sight...). "Don't stand on that side of me as I am differently able in that ear." ("Oh, Christ, he can fire poisonous darts from his ear and I'm in mortal danger!")

I am quite capable, on my own part, of telling someone to fuck off if they give me grief about something - I'm deaf in one ear, not fucking clinically wimpy!

Likewise, I do not need to be protected from airborne lollies at a Christmas (Sorry, "Summer") Parade.

[Lou Girardin]

So you're aurally challenged then?

[Wolf]

So you're aurally challenged then?
Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

:killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

You'll have to speak up - not because of my hearing but because it's hard to understand a person when they're talking with tongue firmly implanted in cheek...

I'm certainly not "Orally Challenged" - they can't get me to STFU!

I talk and laugh loudly and mum was forever apologising on my behalf and explaining that because of being deaf in one ear I can't hear how loud I am - which is bollocks... I can hear myself fine.

My hearing in my "good" ear is actually a tad more acute than average (well, it was when I last had it tested but I'm getting older now so maybe that's changed.) I just grew up in a family where you had to talk over everyone else to be heard (but you wouldn't catch my parents admitting that) and I tend to lose control of volume when I get "animated" about a topic (or hear a really good joke.) I can actually talk softly when I am mindful of it but my loudness is more (bad?) habit than anything.

[Highlander]

I think this about sums it up...

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=434576#post434576

[idb]

Thank you Wolf, I can at last come out of the closet.
Despite what my Mum says, I'm short, fat, bald & ugly.
I feel liberated!!!!!!

Great post BTW!

[Colapop]

I'm disabled too!! I am a white middle aged (?) male, I have a job and a wife and two teenage kids. I'm of average height and build. I'm disabled!!
What's that? How?
Well, I don't get family assistance, because my wife works - so we're rich. I don't have a mobility scooter 'coz I can walk. I don't get free drugs 'coz I'm not a recovering drug addict. I can hear, see, talk, and feel fine. There's virtually nothing wrong with me.
I'm in the minority. I am disabled by a government that accepts all this PC bullsh*t! I have no problem helping those people that need it, just a problem 'helping' those people who expect it coz they don't want to help themselves.

[bigbadwolf]

it's all OSH's fault. bunch of wankers. every job i've had, theres a huge form and video and a whole lot of other bullshit saying that i cant go near paper in case i get a paper cut, have to wear a jersey in the freezer in case i start to shiver, not allowed to walk too fast in case i fall over. these people don't have the balls to live in the real world!

:2guns: :Police:

[Wolf]

I think this about sums it up...

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=434576#post434576
Yep!

Glory days. It wasn't all harmless though - I remember reading of a girl who was terribly injured by a skyrocket fired at her, bazooka-style, out of a vacuum cleaner pipe...

but there were less deaths and injuries reported back then (in a time when deaths and spectacular injuries were rare enough to make Page 1 rather than murders being relegated to page 7 while extremely rare stuff like politicians actually making sense gets the front page...)

[Wolf]

it's all OSH's fault. bunch of wankers. every job i've had, theres a huge form and video and a whole lot of other bullshit saying that i cant go near paper in case i get a paper cut, have to wear a jersey in the freezer in case i start to shiver, not allowed to walk too fast in case i fall over. these people don't have the balls to live in the real world!

:2guns: :Police:
Hail fellow lupine!

The only OSH training I needed as a kid was "don't run with scissors" now they shut down the entire help desk call centre for half a day so we can watch the videos (the early slide show used to have pictures of the bad practices in our dept - can you imagine it? those nasty IT people had cables and equipment all over the floor and they had the gall to think a big red "Hazardous Area, Do Not Enter" sign on the door was sufficient to prevent accidents!)

[bigbadwolf]

can you imagine it? those nasty IT people had cables and equipment all over the floor and they had the gall to think a big red "Hazardous Area, Do Not Enter" sign on the door was sufficient to prevent accidents!)

all they had was a big red sign? thats an accident waiting to happen! what if the sign fell off the door and hit someone in the head?! or the bright red on the sign hurt someone's eyes? or they got distracted looking at it and walked into a wall? i cant even bare to think about how disastrous that would be.....

:stupid:

[Wolf]

all they had was a big red sign? thats an accident waiting to happen! what if the sign fell off the door and hit someone in the head?! or the bright red on the sign hurt someone's eyes? or they got distracted looking at it and walked into a wall? i cant even bare to think about how disastrous that would be.....

:stupid:
Ahh, but what were they doing in an a technical/service area where they might see such a sign if they weren't of a technical/service nature themselves (and therefore immune to the sign's redness and fully aware of the hazards it posed. Hmmmm?

Anyone entering an IT service dept should be sufficiently used to a service environment to expect hazards, identify hazards and avoid them as a matter of course - just as anyone working in the department of OSH should instinctively know that working in that environment can compel you to commit suicide (http://onenews.nzoom.com/onenews_detail/0,1227,201355-1-7,00.html)...

[bigbadwolf]

just as anyone working in the department of OSH should instinctively know that working in that environment can compel you to commit suicide (http://onenews.nzoom.com/onenews_detail/0,1227,201355-1-7,00.html)...

:shit: that is honestly the definition of irony... and to add insult to injury, he probably had to fill out the appropriate forms for permission to commit suicide outside of an OSH regulated workplace... poor guy :cry:

[Wolf]

:shit: that is honestly the definition of irony... and to add insult to injury, he probably had to fill out the appropriate forms for permission to commit suicide outside of an OSH regulated workplace... poor guy :cry:
Comes in handy for dealing with them (OSH): "Look, just let me get on with what I'm good at, which is fixing computers and avoiding the hazards inherent in a place where electricity, network connectivity, faulty machinery and tools congregate, and you stick with what you're good at, which is driving your co-workers to top themselves..."

Honestly, I have no time or sympathy for the buggers - ever since they successfully got it past the Electrical Workers Registration Board to put a condition on my Electrical Registration (Category A, FFS) to make me responsible for the death or injury of any person working in an environment with unsafe electrical practices (power leads across the floor etc) if I casually visited the work place and said nothing about said unsafe practices (despite the fact that it was not me that put the cords across the floor).

No, they're not responsible for the level of stress that drove one of their own to kill themselves but they can pass a law that makes me responsible for the hazards created by other people. Never mind making the dick that put the cables there responsible or - Gods forfend - making the dick that tripped over them responsible.

Glad my registration has lapsed (never technically needed it in the first place but the EWRB is not averse to reinterpreting their own rules in favour of making money...)

I know a lot of people here are against the welfare state and paying out money to the unemployable, but if the only solution the govt can come up with is creating employment opportunities by creating organisations like OSH where the Clinically PC can amuse themselves coming up with stupid regulations, then I'm in favour of the dole...