How I Met My Wife

[jrandom]

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

I was furling my weildy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I’d have to make bones about it, since I was travelling cognito. Beknowst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn’t be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.

Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.

So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make head or tails of.

I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated—as if this were something I was great shakes at—and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had not time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d’oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.

She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savoury character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. “What a perfect nomer,” I said, advertently. The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.

-- Jack Winter, The New Yorker, July 25, 1994.

[Macktheknife]

I saw my girl and walked up and said grab your bag babe, you've scored! Now she's my wife.
Actually the first thing I truly did say about my wife was " now thats what I call a great arse", fortunately she did not hear me at that point. lolol

[MikeL]

Quite effable...

[Hitcher]

And descript...

[N4CR]

Whoa! I never knew you were gay... d;

I bet whatever the first thing I say to my wife of the future will be random as hell. And probably involve something about arses too..

[erik]

Ah, it's a linguistic joke. No wonder it was so bloody confusing :p
English was never my favourite subject.

[Zed]

...I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.Oh how sophisticatedly lovely. :love:

You actually had me thinking at first that you wrote it, you poikilothermic creature.

[cowpoos]

what a pointless load of shit......

[Zed]

what a pointless load of shit......Didn't get it huh? :lol: Go out and ride your new toy...

[riffer]

what a pointless load of shit......

Surely you jest. I found it to be credibly antonymous and rather feckful.

Nicely adjectivised Mr Winter.

BTW shit is such a boring term. Why not try one of these instead:

abortive, bootless, counterproductive, disadvantageous, dysfunctional, expendable, feckless, fruitless, futile, good-for-nothing, hopeless, idle, impracticable, impractical, incompetent, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inoperative, inutile, meaningless, no good, nonfunctional, pointless, profitless, purposeless, scrap, stupid, unavailable, unavailing, unfunctional, unproductive, unprofitable, unpurposed, unusable, unworkable, vain, valueless, waste, weak, worthless

Oh, and yes you pedants, I realise they are all adjectives and shit is used in cowpoos post as a noun, but let's try and raise the bar here a little bit.

Nice post Fish. :shifty:

[ducatilover]

what a pointless load of shit......
green bling :killingme

[cowpoos]

I love bling....:msn-wink:

[cowpoos]

Surely you jest. I found it to be credibly antonymous and rather feckful.

Nicely adjectivised Mr Winter.

BTW shit is such a boring term. Why not try one of these instead:

abortive, bootless, counterproductive, disadvantageous, dysfunctional, expendable, feckless, fruitless, futile, good-for-nothing, hopeless, idle, impracticable, impractical, incompetent, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inoperative, inutile, meaningless, no good, nonfunctional, pointless, profitless, purposeless, scrap, stupid, unavailable, unavailing, unfunctional, unproductive, unprofitable, unpurposed, unusable, unworkable, vain, valueless, waste, weak, worthless

Oh, and yes you pedants, I realise they are all adjectives and shit is used in cowpoos post as a noun, but let's try and raise the bar here a little bit.

Nice post Fish. :shifty:

oh golly...what a whoot...but in all...is it not a tootie little post of drivel....to pay homage to BULLSHIT!!!


is that better...or am I still cold here???

[SPman]

Still stuck in the tray in the freezer......

[Sniper]

Very good, very good.

[strayjuliet]

I know this is how fish met his wife and all but I thought I would also share with you all how I met Wolf. sadly I met him on the internet...






And haven't been able to get rid of him since, lol no honestly. I am glad I met him he has changed my life. (in some ways for the better.)

[Hitcher]

And haven't been able to get rid of him since
Put an ad on Tardeem...

[Rhino]

I know this is how fish met his wife and all but I thought I would also share with you all how I met Wolf. sadly I met him on the internet...

And haven't been able to get rid of him since, lol no honestly. I am glad I met him he has changed my life. (in some ways for the better.)
Snap!!! That's how Scorpygirl and I met. It didn't take too long after we met in person for the magic to start.:niceone:

[Scorpygirl]

Snap!!! That's how Scorpygirl and I met. It didn't take too long after we met in person for the magic to start.:niceone:


It's true and we have loved each other ever since inspite of the adversity that life throws at you. :2thumbsup :love:

[duckman]

It's true and we have loved each other ever since inspite of the adversity that life throws at you. :2thumbsup :love:
Adversity like .... the goldwing ?? :bleh:

[vifferman]

I know this is how fish met his wife and all but I thought I would also share with you all how I met Wolf. sadly I met him on the internet...
Huh.
The Interdweeb not living up to its name. Or are you both more dweeby than you appear on here?

[Wolf]

Huh.
The Interdweeb not living up to its name. Or are you both more dweeby than you appear on here?
Yes - one or the other...

[strayjuliet]

Snap!!! That's how Scorpygirl and I met. It didn't take too long after we met in person for the magic to start.:niceone:

Yer same here, took about 2 weeks and the magick started and we been together ever since. I only joke about wanting to get rid of him. I don't think I could or would give him up.

[scumdog]

A good yarn, can I counter with one of my own???
In 1973 I was a young buck in a 3.3 Vauxhall Victor, (it would equal a $33,000 Commodore today) and I 'met' C.B. (known as Chris back then) at Pounawea, I never noticed her but a mutual friend told me about her, my instant response was "who?" and being a testosterone laden youth I decided to meet this girl (she had JUST turned 17).
We met, had a great time, she organised my 21st etc.....- then tragedy ( and immaturity) struck and we 'split'.

In 1998 we 're-met' - a lot of water had flown under the bridge but we both had that 'SPARK' for each other, a chance for happiness and off to Las Vegas ( yes, the REAL fuckin' Las Vegas) we went and got married ($35 US).
Today we are as thick together as a couple could be, ocean kayaking, hot-rodding, motorbiking etc., in fact the ONLY thing we DON'T do together is the firearm/hunting stuff, "boy-toys stuff" is what she says, BUT she still gives me 10 days hunting on Stewart Island each year.

Ain't seen a woman to match her - and don't bother trying!!

Women like that are golden - she may not look a "10" to the rest of you KBers - but to me she is "110 "

Scumdog.

Bundaberg and coke tonight, helps the mental process..

[scumdog]

:killingme
I know this is how fish met his wife and all but I thought I would also share with you all how I met Wolf. sadly I met him on the internet...






And haven't been able to get rid of him since, lol no honestly. I am glad I met him he has changed my life. (in some ways for the better.)

Hmm, at least SOME ways were for the better!!! - in YOUR opinion!!:lol:

[strayjuliet]

Ain't seen a woman to match her - and don't bother trying!!

Women like that are golden - she may not look a "10" to the rest of you KBers - but to me she is "110 "

Scumdog.

Bundaberg and coke tonight, helps the mental process..

I have heard from all my friends that have met their spouse on the internet that they have met Mr or Mrs right in the fact that they have a heck of a lot in common.

I have to admit if Wolf ever said he was going hunting for a while, I wouldn't worry about it and would more than likely pack his lunch lol

When I first met him I thought there was no way we would be together. He was not what I thought I was looking for but, as fate had it turn out, we have a heck of a lot in common despite our age gap and we get along nicely. We hardly ever fight and our childhood was very similar.

(I'm gonna get soppy here lol) I love Wolf and wouldn't trade him for the world - maybe my friend was right: the older models are the best. lol (no offence to you young bucks out there.)