1004th Post, Warning - Important information contained with

[madboy]

Thanks to Skelstar for reminding me that my 1000th post was up and suggesting an appropriate rant was in order. Well, I guess now it's time to set a few things straight.

Lanesplitting/filtering rocks. I've split at 250+ and I'm still alive. It's the only way to ride. There's nothing unsafe or illegal about it. And f*** any Highway Patrol that tries to say otherwise. So long as everyone else obeys the road rules, it's perfectly safe for me not to.

The Speed Limit does not apply to me. It's there as a guideline only to those softcocks out there that can't ride, and is the benchmark for revenue gatherers to start their pursuits at. 100km/h is for pussies. 200k is for the police. Lucky my bike is faster.

Velcro. Works a treat at holding your numberplate on. $2.49 from the Warehouse.

Suction cups and duct tape. Holds the scanner to the tank. $3.49 from the Warehouse.

Earpiece. From scanner to ear. $19.95 from Dick Smith.

And to the softcock goody goody two shoes mofos on this site. I will drink a beer then ride my bike. I have ridden it in shorts and a t-shirt. I speed. I SPEED. I REALLY F***IN SPEED. I have pulled a wheelie. I have pulled a stoppie. I have waived to the pigs as I cruised up beside them then f***ed off. I have quadrupled the speed limit. I do know what the top speed of my bike is. I don't care how fast a GN250 lanesplits - cos I do it faster. If you're going to f*** off from this site, f*** off then. So your wife hasn't put out in two months? Doesn't mean I need a ticket for 112k. I overtake people. Yes I do. Bikes too. And sometimes on the left - yes, really. I tailgate. I sit in people's blind spots. I kick doors/guards. I hit wing mirrors. I do cut up cages over the Takas. I am the guy your mother bitches about. I ride a Kawasaki. It's better than all those gheys on Hondas and Yamahas, and as for those ghey cheapskates, you own Suzuki's cos you can't afford a real bike. And those "people" with non-sportsbikes, you've surrendered your man cards. Buy a ZX-10R to get it back. In black. Black is the only colour for a bike.

WINJA is the man. Cibby has a great rack. WT rides like a girl. Velox must be hiding testicles, and cubic inches.

And as a final comment, I'd like to say that ASS is just as acceptable and recognised as ARSE.

If there is anybody left I haven't offended, please let me know, I'll be glad to offend you too.

[WRT]

I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary
Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on the table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

[James Deuce]

Pity you can't go round corners mate :)

You've been an entertaining addition to the KB culture.

We need more running from the cops stories though. They've been a bit thin on the ground lately.

[madboy]

Pity you can't go round corners mate :)

You've been an entertaining addition to the KB culture.

We need more running from the cops stories though. They've been a bit thin on the ground lately.Oh, you mean you need to turn corners to be a good rider? Jeez, here I was thinking 270k on a dead straight road made you the man. BUgger.

And I've got some pearler runner stories, but won't break them out until the case has gone cold... if you know what I mean.

[Cibby]

WINJA is the man. Cibby has a great rack. WT rides like a girl. Velox must be hiding testicles, and cubic inches.

If there is anybody left I haven't offended, please let me know, I'll be glad to offend you too.

You are too kind.... :blip: :innocent:

[madboy]

You are too kind.... :blip: :innocent:I'd be willing to upgrade it to "fantastic" if the white t-shirt had been wet.

[SPORK]

You, my kind sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. I hope you enjoy a long and prosperous life. And many more posts. Viva la revolution!

[skelstar]

Nice one. WOuldnt have expected anything less from you MB. :niceone:

[Cibby]

I'd be willing to upgrade it to "fantastic" if the white t-shirt had been wet.


hmmmm. could be arranged...

gonna be really hot in taupo on sunday... :rolleyes:

[DMNTD]

hmmmm. could be arranged...

gonna be really hot in taupo on sunday... :rolleyes:

....act now and get FREE nipple clamps!:devil2:

[Cibby]

....act now and get FREE nipple clamps!:devil2:



Oi! you behave.. otherwise i'll get duc-girl to slap you upside the head..

no doubt she has probably already done that once or twice today.

third time never hurts.

[DMNTD]

...third time never hurts.
...yeah it does but it's just what the perve ordered.:eyepoke: :bleh:
Ooooops shit she'll be home from work soon....best get my kitchen bitch duties done!! :chase: .........YEAH RIGHT!

[SPORK]

cibby i s gay jokes ,il.

yous vbuys areaisy

[bugjuice]

ma kinda guy, mad.. :niceone:
congrat on the 1k

What's yer point btw?

[Storm]

Mate, you are a deadset fuckin legend. You are my new hero and I will refer to your post when I lose track of what I must do to be a hard livin straight talkin biker type. I remember you inspiring Jim2 a couple months back to new heights of hooliganism and I'm still jealous
I reckon your whole post should go in for quote of the year

[Kornholio]

Geez a 1000...its taking me forever to get to 2hundy :doh:

[madboy]

ma kinda guy, mad.. :niceone:
congrat on the 1k
What's yer point btw?There had to be a point? Bugger, something else I missed.

Cibby - I'll check my g/f sense of humour that day... and make sure Pump water gets added to the list.

[Kornholio]

...A realllly long time...........

[Sniper]

Im still unoffended

[madboy]

Im still unoffendedWhich goes to prove how slow you Honda riders are.

[MSTRS]

Thanks ........ too.
I forgive you

[Swoop]

Vive La Presidente!!

Lead us to the promised land!!!

We are your humble servants....:devil2:

[HDTboy]

Madboy? Fuckin Fagboy if you ask me, that wasn't in the least offensive

[Sniper]

Which goes to prove how slow you Honda riders are.

Smartarse, you are just jelous

[Eurodave]

Im STILL waiting to be offended.......[just dont say anything derogatry[sp?] about Guzzi's!!!]........:shutup:

[flash]

I'm An Asshole - Dennis Leary
Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me....


shit, i hope you didnt have to write all of that?

edit: there you go sniper :blip:

[Hitcher]

And as a final comment, I'd like to say that ASS is just as acceptable and recognised as ARSE.
Until that point I thought you were just making an ass of yourself. Now I know you were actually talking through your arse. I say that in the full knowledge and comfort that you will not be offended. Bless.

[Dafe]

I ride a Kawasaki. It's better than all those gheys on Hondas and Yamahas, and as for those ghey cheapskates, you own Suzuki's cos you can't afford a real bike. And those "people" with non-sportsbikes, you've surrendered your man cards. Buy a ZX-10R to get it back. In black. Black is the only colour for a bike.



Nice Post dude!!!

Only...... Too cheapskate to afford a Kawasaki???
I guess everyone makes mistakes huh? :bleh:

[Skyryder]

And as a final comment, I'd like to say that ASS is just as acceptable and recognised as ARSE.

If there is anybody left I haven't offended, please let me know, I'll be glad to offend you too.

Ass is the US varient of arse. Even a basic insult they have to change the spelling. Personly I think arsehole is more in your face than asshole. But I guess it's how close you get that realy makes the difference.

Skyryder