Farking Bike

[Sniper]

Righto, so MissSnipers FZR is a BITCH. Its a whore, arse, dick, POS, prannet, effluvium, enuresis verruca! Now that I have that out of my system, I need some advice please. :calm:

The last time the shitty FZR was ridden was a 320km round trip to Arthurs pass and back. 4 days later, the bitch wouldn't start. She would just crank over but it just would not fire. Me thinks that cool, this gives me a chance to take off the fairings of the bike to see what she looks like naked. (MissSniper doesn't seem to like me undressing other girls, so I had to do it while she wasn't around.) While doing this, I was thinking of the many reasons why it wouldn't start, so I checked the basics. Kill Switch is set to run, there is fuel in the tank and I was just about to pop some new spark plugs. (Cut a long story short there was spark, it bit me ><)

So over the past couple of weeks I have ummmm'ed and ahhhh'ed about what to do and 2 days ago I put some new plugs in the bike. Then I had to take them out again because I realised that the handy dandy cleaner spray I was putting on them was actually not no so handy dandy chain lube :angry2: So off I go to buy another can of handy dandy parts cleaner (No idea where my last lot went:scratch: ) and I fixed them plugs. Tried to crank her over.......... nothing.

Compression is good, so it can't be that, must be electrical cause all of a sudden, Im not getting any spark :spudwhat: Now Im dead sure I was because leaving a lead on your knee while cranking the bike over hurts! But wait, I still haven't learnt my lesson :doh: Time to re-check the spark.......... Holding plug against frame, hmmmm no spark. Now I hate this bike.... the neighbour comes round to ask if I can teach him in the skilled art of swearing like a preacher in a whore house with a good dose of the clap and to prove to him (He never believes me:spudwhat: ) I put the spark plug in my mouth and hit the starter :Oops: . Guess what happens........ Anyway, after shooing the ambulance away and trying to get the feeling in my tongue back. I realise that there must be a fault with A: The starter or B: The coil

Now, which should I check the coil first (IE: put a new one in) or what should my next port of call be?


BTW: We now have 111 on speed dial.

[DemonWolf]

Jeez... hope there wasn't any damage to yourself with that display?

[crashe]

Were there any pic's taken during this spark plug display....

As we would all love to see them....

[sparrow_34]

Have you tried push starting the little hua?

[SpeedyGirl]

Call me next time you want to try the spark plugs... I need a good laugh :eyepoke:

[**R1**]

Have the Darwin award people been over yet? would you like me to call them?

Try push starting it, I have had bikes do a similar a thing and found that they would start when push started but not from the starter dont know why but it seems to work, I guess if your starter is getting a bit lazy it will crank but not fire..

a few things you may want to check

is the battery in good nick?
are all you earth cables bolted to nice clean surfaces?
have you measured the voltage drop on the coil when you are cranking the bike?
are the battery terminals clean and tight?
checked the fuses?
FZR's have an electric fuel pump is that working?

let you know if i think of anything else

[Gontour]

You have checked there is fuel in, but is it passed the reserve? and is it getting to the cylinder, i'e some kind of blockage?

[XTC]

I think the Fault is definately with sniper. As you ruled out fuel and spark tee heeone thing you could check is valve clearances. even though it may feel like it's got a lump there may not be quite enough for starting. So go get ya feeler guages.

[Sniper]

Its never my fault, Im always right! The spark plug idea was just stupid and I don't think I will do it again though. Thanks God MissSniper wasn't home to see it.

One thing I forgot to mention was with the old spark plugs I got a minor backfire from 5 seconds of cranking?

[T.W.R]

check your regulator/rectifier Sniper, then check the coils for resistance with a multi meter ( can't remember what ohms it should be, it ain't much anyhow)

[Dazza]

Is that your bulldog ?

[Sniper]

Thanks TWR. Where can I find this rectifier thing without putting electricity near my mouth.

[sparrow_34]

Is that your bulldog ?

Yep, took that photo a few months back when I lived in Auckland.

[Dazza]

sorry for the highjack,but here's a photo for sparrow of my bulldog and old boxer and Guzzi:niceone:

[Sniper]

At least it has a bike in it. You heard of PM's though right?

[Dazza]

Yeah I have thanks Mate, couldn't sort the attachment thingy out,but hey thank's for the remind:niceone:

[sparrow_34]

Great Dogs bullys! Sniper, you must have hijacked the odd thread to get to over 7000 :not: . Give us mere mortals a chance to get to 100 posts at least :chase:

Back on the subject. How is Miss Sniper coping not having anything to ride for so long?

[Rashika]

sorry for the highjack,but here's a photo for sparrow of my bulldog and old boxer and Guzzi:niceone:
ahhhhhhh very purdy!
woops now we cant have this thread turning into some thing nice now eh? :devil2:
back to the regular bullshit, take it away Sniper :whistle:

[T.W.R]

Thanks TWR. Where can I find this rectifier thing without putting electricity near my mouth.

Not too sure where it would be on the fizzer but by rights it shouldn't be to far away from the battery & ignition box area.
:laugh: you should be safe doing the taste test thingy :slap:

the ohm resistance should be in the 2 - 5 ohm area

[Badcat]

sorry for the highjack,but here's a photo for sparrow of my bulldog and old boxer and Guzzi:niceone:

what is that boxer doing to the bulldog?

ewww.....

[Dazza]

I could send you a photo of the outcome of what the Boxer :love:did to the Bulldog,but that's a whole new thread.

[Sniper]

Have the Darwin award people been over yet? would you like me to call them? No thanks

Try push starting it, I have had bikes do a similar a thing and found that they would start when push started but not from the starter dont know why but it seems to work, I guess if your starter is getting a bit lazy it will crank but not fire.. (Im a fat fucker, but yea, after 15 minutes of trying to push start it still won't fire)

a few things you may want to check

is the battery in good nick? (Brand new one before the trip)
are all you earth cables bolted to nice clean surfaces? (Haven't checked)
have you measured the voltage drop on the coil when you are cranking the bike? (Not yet, I don't know how)
are the battery terminals clean and tight? (Yep)
checked the fuses? (Errrrr, ummmm, maybe) :confused:
FZR's have an electric fuel pump is that working? (Nope I thought they were hydrolic but I will check)

let you know if i think of anything else

Answers in red, thanks for the help :spudflip:

[Sniper]

Back on the subject. How is Miss Sniper coping not having anything to ride for so long?

Its hell, she wants to ride my bike. I have had to rehide the keys 5 times:crazy:

[Sniper]

back to the regular bullshit, take it away Sniper :whistle:

Am I singing, who has the sing star?:violin:

[Sniper]

Not too sure where it would be on the fizzer but by rights it shouldn't be to far away from the battery & ignition box area.
:laugh: you should be safe doing the taste test thingy :slap:

the ohm resistance should be in the 2 - 5 ohm area

Cool thanks, but from now on, Im going to be careful of what I put in my mouth. :shit:

[Macktheknife]

Cool thanks, but from now on, Im going to be careful of what I put in my mouth. :shit:
hahahahha only from now on???????
there are so many things I will not say cause its an open forum but dude!

[justsomeguy]

Check your CDI - it may have shorted something there......or get someone who knows about such things to check it out.

Aye - Ixion - Frosty - :blip: cheers guys:2thumbsup

[scumdog]

Put the spark-plug back in your mouth and try to start the bike again - even if it don't work I will at least piss myself again!!:stupid: :killingme

[erik]

Does the fuel pump go click click click when you turn the ignition on? (should only do it for up to 5 seconds, based on the fzr400 manual). If it's clicking quickly it might mean its not getting any fuel to the pump, particularly if it clicks for the full 5 seconds. If it only clicks once or not at all, it might mean that the fuel system is already at the right pressure. Or if it doesn't click at all it might be it's broken, but I guess you'd have to mess around to tell the difference.

Have you got the fuel tap on reserve (in case the fuel level is too low for the main/on position)? Tried starting it with choke?

Good luck.

[thehollowmen]

Put the spark-plug back in your mouth and try to start the bike again - even if it don't work I will at least piss myself again!!:stupid: :killingme

ahahhahaha
incidentally, has that oil tempreture guage scar on your tounge healed ok?

[*sic]

man thats classic.

sorry nothing really to add to this, but the spark plug in mouth *rocks my grill* or yours if we are getting specific.

[Brian d marge]

The engine requires fuel, spark and compression at TDC, so give it to the poor fella
Fuel squirt a bit down the inlet tract, use starter fluid if compression suspect !! ( just squirt a bit down the inlets ......)

Spark , got power up to coil ??? use a 12 v light bulb if it lights up when cranking most likely ok get a 12v coil from another bike with a known spark even a car one ,,,all you want is a spark!!

got spark ?? outside the combustion chamber ??? but inside the pressure is greater AND there is a whole lot of watery stuff So assuming the spark is happening at the right place ( hall effect jap bike most likely is ,,,) then there isnt enough guts in the spark and its tracking ie taking the easy way out ....so you need to look for a high resistance and stopping the juice getting to the leap of faith ,

Try plug leads, they corrode where the lead enters the coil or at the plug cap
also the wire going into the coil is the conetion clean ? just replace it easy as!
Failing all that ,,,the CDI may have a high resistance , but they are getting good nowa days , but before condemin the cdi look at battery ..if battery is on way out , it will supply the starter first as bigger cables easier route , then what ever is left over ,,,will be allocated to ignition..( jumper cables to terminals from say your car battery .....)

good luck ,,its a procces of elimination....

Stephen
BTW have also done the spark plug in mouth thing ,,,Duke single , new un polarised coil ,,,,high compression ,,,much pushing ,,,hole in new seat ,,due to falling on hammer ,,,,
flash the coil ,,,started first kick ,,,,,,you live and learn

[limbimtimwim]

I put the spark plug in my mouth and hit the starter :Oops: . Guess what happens........ LOL

Did you look like the attachment afterwards?

[Sniper]

Thanks Stephen

[Stevo]

Put the spark-plug back in your mouth and try to start the bike again - even if it don't work I will at least piss myself again!!:stupid: :killingme
I second this Stuart! BUT!!!! You must wait until I am down there in the weekend so I can post pix of you doing this. For the benefit of everyone so far who has read this. Mostly my benefit. Can't promise I can hold the camera real steady while wetting myself with laughter but I CAN try. I will start my old baby (hopefully).

[Sniper]

Just for Stevo, Kelz and Scumdog................... :finger:

[Stevo]

Just for Stevo, Kelz and Scumdog................... :finger:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[T.W.R]

get it on video would be better :niceone: then we could hear the sound effects along with new dance moves ( vivid pictures in mind of Peter Garrett doin the power & the passion):whistle:

[Sniper]

Im not gonna do it again, I aint that stupid...........


(Im just off to check if that shock with the sparkplug was just a coincidence, bear with me......)

[Sniper]

The beast lives. Now I await Stevo to tell you what was wrong.

[Stevo]

The beast lives. Now I await Stevo to tell you what was wrong.
The speedo cable was broken......................................

[T.W.R]

The speedo cable was broken......................................

WTF? how the hell does that stop the bike from running ?

[Stevo]

:2guns: Firstly I am greeted by Miss Sniper and a whole lot of pieces of formally one whole motorcycle scattered across the floor of the garage. We proceeded to put said motorcycle together.
Having done so I tried to start it and it let out the Mother of all backfires on first push of the button. :doh: Well after quite a bit of pushing down the driveway, down the street, and all the way back again, still no real willingness to go. Seemed to backfire quite a bit, which I thought unusual as it never did that to me. So I had a look at the spark plug leads, both fine on one side, but not on the other. Asked Sniper if Maybe I put No3 lead on No3 cylinder and No4 on No4, it might have a better chance of going. Push the go button and VOILA!!!! The beast bursts into life.
Miss Sniper beamed a grin and looked pretty happy to her baby back. She told me the speedo stopped working just before home so I looked at that and is was indeed stuffed.

Summary: Miss Sniper tonight is :woohoo: Sniper is :slap: and Stevo is :rofl:

[T.W.R]

:oi-grr: Sniper mmm :doh: :doh:

heres a wee idea ! put F%$#@ big tags on the spark plug leads with numbers 1 - 4 :niceone:

don't let him near the speedo cable:oi-grr:

[Stevo]

:oi-grr: Sniper mmm :doh: :doh:

heres a wee idea ! put F%$#@ big tags on the spark plug leads with numbers 1 - 4 :niceone:
IT DID!!!!!! Numbered perfectly on each lead. Blonde moment. Hence why Sniper is :slap: and I am :rofl:

[Sniper]

I errrrr, ummmmm, FUCK IT! Ok I put leads 3 and 4 on backwards. But I should be able to fix this speedo cable.

[Stevo]

I errrrr, ummmmm, FUCK IT! Ok I put leads 3 and 4 on backwards. But I should be able to fix this speedo cable.
I might just have to :psst: Miss Sniper to stand by you when you do it :Pokey: just to make sure you don't tear her beloved bike to pieces to do so.:laugh: Got the distinct impression she had really missed her toy, now:spudbooge

[Sniper]

I might just have to :psst: Miss Sniper to stand by you when you do it :Pokey: just to make sure you don't tear her beloved bike to pieces to do so.:laugh: Got the distinct impression she had really missed her toy, now:spudbooge

Which toy? Me are the bike :devil2:

[Stevo]

Which toy? Me are the bike :devil2:
You wish you were her toy!
Besides does she miss you when not around? :killingme

[Stevo]

I heard that her bike is Miss Sniper's favourite toy cos it goes for more than 60 seconds!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Sniper]

Oi :oi:................. she does miss me. :bleh:

[Swoop]

Oi :oi:................. she does miss me. :bleh:
I dunno why she would miss you, there's only one place to look for you..:whistle: (who said KB??):whistle:

[Wellyman]

I put the spark plug in my mouth and hit the starter :Oops: . Guess what happens........ Anyway, after shooing the ambulance away and trying to get the feeling in my tongue back. I realise that there must be a fault with A: The starter or B: The coil

Now, which should I check the coil first (IE: put a new one in) or what should my next port of call be?


BTW: We now have 111 on speed dial.

hahaha. what the hell were you thinking dude!!!!!!!I was testing a horn with a large battery and got a shock one day. I almost shat myslef. Green on its way for stupidity

[TonyB]

Firstly-:killingme
Secondly, having re-read the thread, it seems that Sniper only stuffed up the #3 & 4 plug leads after installing the new plugs. And he did that because the bike wouldn't go in the first place.
So that means that the bike was going great, and it went from Chch to Arthurs Pass and back again just fine. Then once parked up for a bit at home it wouldn't go. Kinda makes me wonder if the problem will re-occur. If it does, Stu can ya please ring me so I can come round with my video to watch you test it for spark?:killingme

[Sniper]

I really should not admit things like this on KB. Damage is done now.

[miSTa]

Can anyone join in and take the piss? :whistle: :drinknsin

[Sniper]

Do your worst......... :slap:

[Stevo]

Firstly-:killingme
Secondly, having re-read the thread, it seems that Sniper only stuffed up the #3 & 4 plug leads after installing the new plugs. And he did that because the bike wouldn't go in the first place.
So that means that the bike was going great, and it went from Chch to Arthurs Pass and back again just fine. Then once parked up for a bit at home it wouldn't go. Kinda makes me wonder if the problem will re-occur. If it does, Stu can ya please ring me so I can come round with my video to watch you test it for spark?:killingme
I think it is a fuel problem. Seems to flood itself in between rides I found. I think it goes away if u thurn the fuel off so T is going to try it

[Sniper]

I had to turn the fuel off yesterday. I am trying to redeem myself

[crashe]

Good god Sniper.. leave miss sniper's bike alone..:ar15: :nono: :2guns:

Word of advise for miss sniper - please go and learn all about motorbikes so that you can do your own work on the bike...
and then you will get it going again a heck of a lot faster.....
:wavey: :wavey:

Stevo - well done.... please teach miss sniper how to fix motorbikes.

[Sniper]

Miss Sniper will be here soon to give me shit too. Thanks though crashe lol

[crashe]

Miss Sniper will be here soon to give me shit too. Thanks though crashe lol


Your most welcome mate.... anytime...
:apint: :done: :devil2: :wacko: :rolleyes::eek5: :drinkup: :spudwave:

[Magua]

Curse of the fzr is at work....

[miSTa]

Do your worst......... :slap:


Not really much more I can add anyway, it's all been said. Next time matey...

[Stevo]

Good god Sniper.. leave miss sniper's bike alone..:ar15: :nono: :2guns:

Word of advise for miss sniper - please go and learn all about motorbikes so that you can do your own work on the bike...
and then you will get it going again a heck of a lot faster.....
:wavey: :wavey:

Stevo - well done.... please teach miss sniper how to fix motorbikes.
A confession!
I was real worried I couldn't fix it. After pushing up and down the driveway and road, and with no inclination to go, in fact it was hard as hell to try to push start (funny that), I was frustrated cos I have never been unable to get it going. It has never broken down on me. I'm glad it was something so simple in the end though. Could be easy enough to do I guess, esp after a long day of 50 posts on kiwibiker and renting out the odd car in between. :rofl: :rofl:

[Sniper]

Could be easy enough to do I guess, esp after a long day of 50 posts on kiwibiker and renting out the odd car in between. :rofl: :rofl:

You forgot maintaining a bank of computers through-out the company, building and mainting a website, helping out sad strange faced computer illiterate bastards who can't spell their own name.

Plus sucking down the copious amounts of coffee between my posts on KB.

[Stevo]

Good god Sniper.. leave miss sniper's bike alone..:ar15: :nono: :2guns:

Word of advise for miss sniper - please go and learn all about motorbikes so that you can do your own work on the bike...
and then you will get it going again a heck of a lot faster.....
:wavey: :wavey:

Stevo - well done.... please teach miss sniper how to fix motorbikes.
Might have to I think. If I were to email instructions to her I am sure she is capable and I felt as if she was interested and keen enough to learn more about how it worked.

At least if T were to work on her own bike only the necessary parts would get removed:msn-wink: :rofl:

[Sniper]

At least if T were to work on her own bike only the necessary parts would get removed:msn-wink: :rofl:

It was only the nessesary parts I removed.

[TonyB]

It was only the nessesary parts I removed.
yeh, the parts necessary to make it go:msn-wink:

[crashe]

Yeah and miss sniper aint silly to put a spark plug in her mouth to test it...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[slob]

Hey Sniper, having read the symptoms on the FZR they seem similar to the ones that I had on my old FZR400 (e.g. engine not firing without a few bump starts). You may find that they will reoccur the day after a long ride. If it does, check the EXUP system on the exhaust pipe (under the engine). The one on my old bike had a cracked bush which made it difficult for the valve to move (the bump starts seemed to nudge it free somehow). Unfortunately for me, it took a shit-load of $$$ and time to discover this. Hopefully, this isn't the case with your FZR...

[muzz]

I hear "jackarse" are looking for new stunts you should try out sniper. HA HA HA

[Sniper]

Thanks Slob. Im not sure if it is an Exup system, but I will investigate it tonight..

Tony, crashe ................ :bleh: